View Full Version : Once again...
I have rationalized my way into being addicted to nicotine and caffeine and I am pissed at myself! I have always had the mind of an addict and have been indulging big-time in my self-destructive tendencies. I NEED to quit smoking SOON because once I get 800 hours in at Wholefoods I get my long-awaited health insurance (I haven't had insurance for about four years) and I will have to pay an extra $10 per paycheck for being a smoker. The more I know I need/want to quit soon, the worse by addiction rears up! I know so much stuff in my head about the ways we fool ourselves and yet the inner addict is niggling and bugging me all the time lately and I give into it so much I don't have any faith in myself that I will be even able to quit (again) even though I have quit for weeks on end, sometimes even months. I am very, very good at fooling myself, very good at being self-indulgent and rationalizing about why just one won't hurt, etc...
I am considering enlisting professional help with the smoking cessation ...using the patch, hypnosis or going to a 12-step type program. I want to do everything I can to ensure I don't backslide. Thing is, I KNOW I can do because I have done it in the past. But STAYING QUIT FOR GOOD seems to elude me time and again because I LET the addict in me take over and be the rebellious little brat that allows me to sneak one in here and there, then pretty soon the here and there, now and again cigarette turns into a reward for a long or hard day at work, or if I am bored or perhaps I have to drive across town and need one in the car, or I am on a break at work, etc, etc. Rationalization is my BIGGEST enemy!
So I am putting this out there ~ I am disgusted and ashamed with it and want to quit for good, one day at a time. I am identifying the triggers for me that allow the addict to rear its ugly head and get me in the habit again: life changes (like my recent job change this summer) which produced some amount of stress, sitting at the Whole Foods smoking table out back under the pine trees on break (I can choose to take my break inside in the lunch room - once the weather really turns I don't want to be standing out there in a raging snowstorm because of my addiction). Also my crazy work schedule is contributing to a lack of consistency in keeping an even keel and being able to adhere to regular sleep hours-sometimes I work the mid-shift, most times I am a closer and don't get home until 11pm and sometimes I have to be there at 6am. I realize I do better on self-care when I have a consistent work schedule like my last last job at the guitar shop. But there is nothing I can do about my schedule. It is what it is and I have to be able to deal with it.
Another factor is that I haven't been performing with my buddy in our acoustic duo because we can't get our schedules to match up for rehearsing and gigging. When I knew we had a gig coming up it gave me real incentive to not smoke because of needing my voice to hold out (the idea of my voice giving out during a gig is a real threat - it has happened before...). Hopefully, rehearsing will start in the next week or so because we both are really starting to miss playing and I have made a point to ask for certain evenings off so we can get practice time in.
Going out to listen to music in a bar and ending up drinking a beer, which also means a RAGING CRAVING for a cigarette as well. If you could see into my brain when that trigger hits it would be hilarious! BEER=CIGARETTE, BEER=CIGARETTE, BEER=CIGARETTE! No beer hopefully will reduce or discourage the NEED for a cigarette.
So these are all habits and triggers I have identified and know well; it's a matter of giving a damn whether I let them take over or let myself be in control. Sometimes I just get a bad case of the f***-its and just do it (the addict in me) and figure I'll quit in the future. But the future is here and the more I WANT/NEED to quit, the harder the addict holds on!
Anyway, as I said, I am putting this out there into the universe in hopes it will help me take some personal responsibility. I really need help with this one and need to hold myself accountable and DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING! I need to find a way to get through the first few weeks until the feeling of not smoking feels normal and my body starts to heal itself.
Quitting smoking is SOOO hard! Been there- done that. (But it can be done).
I was a smoker from the time I was in my mid-teens, to just a few years ago, like about 3 years ago, and although I never made any effort to quit in my earlier years, I started trying to quit (on and off) when we got the boys. That was a real life changer for me.
Even then, with such incentives (two baby boys), quitting, was difficult. I'd make if for a day or two, then cave, then I'd try again and make it for a week, then crash again. I had family putting all sorts of pressure on me, and my kids would even hide my cigarettes and lighter on me.
But I was determined to quit, and believe it or not, much of the pressure and taunting I got from family really helped. They'd shame me, and try and make me feel guilty, which I confess, some of it was a little harsh and strong at times, but that's what I needed.
They would do vocal reality checks, like, "what are we going to do without a mom", which nearly killed me, and things like that. Plus, my husband was never a smoker and I was beginning to feel as though it was time for me to quit anyway, so I had lots of incentive to feed off of, like yourself, Re: being able to save an additional $100 plus dollars a year just by being a non-smoker!
The first steps are the hardest, and yes, you will fall, but don't worry, just get right back up again and try, try again. I find it's a repeat process, one of which you succeed one day, and fail the next, but unless you put in the effort to make a conscientious decision to quit and go through the motions, you never will. You have to want it (to quit).
You can do it!
P.S. If you feel you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. (I'll be there for you). Having a support network is so helpful and encouraging! Being able to brag that you've gone an x-amount of days/weeks without a cigarette, is the biggest pick-me-up of all when it comes to quitting!
To add, the best part of all, aside from the obvious health benefits of being a non-smoker, is being able to sit among people (who smoke) and say to yourself, "no, I don't want one, not even a puff or a drag". "I'm done with it".
Additionally, you'll have to learn not to cheat, not ever, not even one cigarette on Saturday night, because you're out having a drink, etc. One, means two, and two means three, and three means four, and so on. Besides, cheating is just that, you're only fooling/kidding yourself, plus, when you cheat, all you're doing is setting yourself up for a future pattern of future cheating.
Like, "OK, I had one cigarette last weekend, but I'm still doing alright, and it's Saturday night again tonight, so maybe I'll just have one or two tonight like I did last weekend". No. That sort of thought process will defeat you every time and will go against every ounce of effort and energy you have put into quitting. Quitting, is quitting.
OK, last entry for a bit, but something I would do when I'd cave and need a cigarette, was balance-out the cigarette with something else, for example, cigarette equals going outside to water, or cigarette equals going out and hanging laundry on the line, etc.
As trivial as it may sound, balancing-out your cravings with something constructive really helps. At least it did with me, and it also helped curb my cravings, because there were times I didn't want to go outside to weed or water or whatever. And by this time I was trying extra-hard to not smoke in the house or around the kids.
rosarugosa
10-13-12, 9:00pm
You have my empathy, SiouzQ. I was a 1 - 2 pack a day smoker, and I smoked for 38 years. I've now been tobacco free for a little over 9 months. I had concluded that I was one of those people who could never quit; but I seem to be proving myself wrong. Unfortunately, what got us to quit was DH losing a kidney to cancer, which the doc blamed on smoking. He said DH needed to quit, and we quit 4 days later. We had tried before, but it always seemed somehow optional, and we found it pretty easy to throw in the towel. This time, we had the right motivation and we meant business!
A few tools/strategies that helped me:
Nicorette gum has been enormously helpful. The fact that I could offer myself a definite substitute has been key to my success. Recent literature says that people may need to use it for longer than the recommended 12 weeks, and I’m still using it. I plan to discuss with my MD when I see him in Nov. I think that even if I use it forever, I would be better off that if I were smoking.
Oranges – when I first quit, Mineolas were in season, and I rewarded myself with one every night.
Good quality chocolate – went great with the Mineolas :)
Electronic cigarette – I’ve had one of these for a few years, and if you are smoking, it really doesn’t cut it as a substitute. But when you aren’t smoking, it can be a big help in those high-temptation situations. I would only use it on the weekends if I was having a few drinks, or going to a concert, etc. For some reason, it doesn’t have the same addictive pull as a real cigarette though, and I haven’t touched it for about two months now. I think I’m done with it, but it was a useful crutch when I needed it.
I feel 10 years younger now, and I can even be with my smoking/drinking buddies and not be tempted. I never got to that point before. We’ve been doing a lot of hiking in the woods, and my energy level is so much better. And as you mentioned, I’m so glad I don’t feel compelled to go out in the rain and snow, I can stay in nice hotels again (when the budget permits), and I don’t have to think about how I need to quit smoking because I already did! Good luck!
Thank you for your time and thoughtful replies, Mrs. M and Rosarugosa. Thing is, I KNOW I can do this, I've done it many times before with success for days and weeks on end. I would like to make it forever but I get afraid that I will disappoint myself like I have time and again. I feel like sometimes I have such a split personality ~ the old proverbial evil on one shoulder and angel on the other. The devil is the dark passenger (courtesy of "Dexter" ) and it whispers things to me like "just one won't matter, you deserve it,etc.etc. For a long time I was able to just have one (albeit bummed from a friend) cigarette when I went out and had a beer and wouldn't have another until the next week when I went out. Then I start feeling bad for mooching off my friends all the time so I go buy my own pack. Then when I have my own pack all hell breaks loose and then I am smoking a lot more, just because I have acsess to them.
Well, it's start anyway, owning up to the addiction and mostly wanting to be done with it for good. No sneaking them, no lying to myself, no pretending that one or two won't hurt. I know how good I CAN feel when I am off of them, and how much better my voice is for singing.
I actually have three days off in a row (a very rare treat) and would like to take the time to regroup and get on a better sleep schedule and try to take care of myself better. That is key for me in the battle of foreign substances. Tomorrow I am going to start lacing my coffee with de-caf and gradually reduce the amount of caffeine and try to cut that out as well. I have done it before so I know I can do it again. I just wish I didn't have to let myself ride the merry-go-round again and again only to realize how bad it is for me. I'll keep you all posted to keep myself accountable.
rosarugosa
10-14-12, 7:33am
I would be glad to be part of your virtual support group :)
It certainly sounds like you can do it if you make up your mind!
I agree with what the others have said. Flat out, smoking will give you some kind of cancer.
I would absolutely enlist professional help. The addiction to nicotine is as strong as heroin--but people do get off heroin. You can beat this.
You don't have to look at it as quitting for the rest of your life. You just have to remain a quitter for today--for this minute. Take tomorrow when it comes. Eventually you'll look forward to the thought that you'll never have to smoke another cigarette for the rest of your life! Right now the nicotine is telling you that this is an activity you enjoy.
As far as going to the bar to drink beer and fighting off the craving for a cigarette. Right now (and I would say for at least the next year) DON"T GO TO BARS. Thinking you can is like telling the heroin addict that he should stop shooting up and still hang out with his friends on Skid Row. It's counter-intuitive. Drink your beer at home. Don't worry, your favorite watering hole ain't going anywhere.
Good luck.
Take it day by day for the start, SiouzQ. Even if you have to wake up for the first few days/week or so, and tell yourself, "I'm going to only have x-amount of cigarettes today", that's a good start.
From there, you can slowly wean yourself off of cigarettes entirely. I used to be one of those smokers that couldn't wait for my morning coffee and cigarette! I'd slide out of bed, dart into the kitchen to start coffee (still wearing panties/bra), quickly use the bathroom, get changed, and run back into the kitchen to light-up and pour myself a cup of coffee!
Funny part about all that, I still cherish and crave my morning coffee, but I don't miss the cigarettes. Not even a bit, don't even think about cigarettes anymore.
One area I found that was challenging (when I was trying to quit), was being around others who smoked. I avoided that at all costs, and if I had to be around smokers, I'd pay the least amount of attention to them. Don't watch them smoke, don't even look at them, and stay down-wind from them.
Also, if you have cigarettes in the home, keep them in your purse or on top of the fridge, etc. Don't keep them sitting out on the kitchen table/coffee table, etc, where you're always looking at them and thinking about them. The less you see of them, the better.
And, when you get to a stage where you haven't had a cigarette for a few days/week or two, don't allow that dark-passenger to sucker you into taking a quick puff, or bumming one off someone, because you're feeling the pain. The more you stand up to such temptations, the stronger you will get.
Another thing worth mentioning, if you do stumble and fall, don't feel obligated to smoke a whole cigarette. Take that first drag, then wait. Just because you have a full, long cigarette between your fingers, doesn't mean you have to smoke the whole thing. I stubbed-out many a cigarette after just one or two drags when I was quitting.
Additionally, don't forget about help options, such as Nicotine Gum and Patches. Sometimes the extra added help of such aids can mean the difference between succeeding (quickly), or struggling and battling through every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day... Gosh is that ever painful!
Lastly, come here (often if you have to) to talk to Rosa and me! :)
pinkytoe
10-14-12, 11:44am
I was a life-long smoker who quit cold turkey twelve years ago during a bout of the flu when it isn't very easy to smoke anyway. I made all the excuses too but I believe you really just have to cut the cord. At first, my cravings would come every thirty minutes or so and I would just notice them and they would pass until the next thirty minutes. I would take long walks and imagine fresh air in my longs instead of smoke. Gradually, the spaces between cravings became longer. I know how hard it seems but now that I no longer smoke, it seems impossible that I ever even wanted to. I have deep regrets about injuring my body that way. I can't even stand the smell of cigarette smoke now and can smell the stink of a smoker yards away. My belief is that smoking is just a hard-wired HABIT and you have to re-program your brain. Read a book called The Power of Habits. Become empowered by your own discipline against this nasty habit!
Thank you, PinkyToe. I will check into that book! And you are right, it is just a stupid habit that I don't really enjoy at all anymore, it feels like a damn chore!
decemberlov
10-15-12, 11:49am
Good luck SiouzQ. Like you I've quite before but it never really stuck. I know the one time I quit for a month I told myself that I was a non-smoker...not that I was trying to quit but that I had ..even if it was only for one day I was a non-smoker. For some reason this really helped me. And like another poster stated you just need to stay in the moment...one minute, one hour one day at a time.
I've decided to give this quitting smoking thing a try again. I have been feeling really unhealthy lately and am sick and tired of my disgusting habit. I woke up this morning and decided today is a new beginning. So for today I am a non-smoker again :) Hopefully I will be tomorrow as well but for now I'm just going to take it one day at a time.
Thank you for starting this thread and inspiring me...we can do this together if you like :)
How long have you been a smoker for, Decemberlov?
decemberlov
10-15-12, 12:00pm
How long have you been a smoker for, Decemberlov?
15 years....
I am honestly extremely concerned about my health and hope that I haven't made this decision to quit too late.
What a difference a generation makes, even a half of a generation. Fifteen years ago, smoking was still OK, and back when I started, late 70's, smoking was definitely OK. Everyone smoked.
Mind you, I never really smoked that much when I first started. If I remember right, a package of cigarettes used to last me a week (or so), give or take a day either side, but by the time I was in my early 20's, a package of cigarettes lasted 2-3 days, less when I'd go out and meet friends for coffee, etc.
I hope nothing serious is going on with you (health wise), Decemberlov.
P.S. Quitting is so freeing. Let's treat this thread like a support network, a place where those looking to quit can stop by for support and encouragement. I would love (so much) to see both you and SiouzQ, quit.
decemberlov
10-15-12, 12:49pm
P.S. Quitting is so freeing. Let's treat this thread like a support network, a place where those looking to quit can stop by for support and encouragement. I would love (so much) to see both you and SiouzQ, quit.
I think that's a great idea Mrs M. :)
Going out to listen to music in a bar and ending up drinking a beer, which also means a RAGING CRAVING for a cigarette as well. If you could see into my brain when that trigger hits it would be hilarious! BEER=CIGARETTE, BEER=CIGARETTE, BEER=CIGARETTE! No beer hopefully will reduce or discourage the NEED for a cigarette.
I've decided in order for this to work for me I have to give up beer for awhile as well. If I drink a beer there is not doubt that I will find a cigarette and smoke it. I don't want to set myself up for failure and I know if I drink I'm going to fail.
Do you think it would be possible to stay away from the bar to help you out with this. Maybe just do gigs at a local coffee shop?
I don't think it's something that you would have to stay away from forever but at least the first few weeks, maybe.
Not looking to sidetrack this thread, but I was reminiscing my early smoking days, and how free smoking was, as in, smoking was allowed anywhere/everywhere, no rules, and most everyone accommodated it and accepted it, even if they were non-smokers themselves. Wow! Hasn't that changed!
While I avoided smoking at home (in front of my mom), she was so hurt and disappointed by me starting, I smoked everywhere else.
I remember hiring two babysitters (mid 90's), and one of them smoked, and I never thought twice about it. The issue wasn't even brought up or discussed. I simply assumed she would smoke (being a smoker and all) whenever she sat for us, and she did, but I'd never allow that now. Outside, or not at all, would be my rule/motto today Re:.
Same for my babysitting days, I smoked in a good number of the homes where I sat (more than not), because they were smoking-homes, but knowing what I know now, not a chance.
SiouzQ, Decemberlov, do you smoke in your homes?
To add, one thing I've noticed for quite some time now, especially in my travels (driving to go shopping, etc), is a lot of people smoking outside (homeowners I'm talking), and that's so nice to see.
It would be interesting to conduct a study related to chronic childhood bronchitis and problems with asthma, etc (today), as compared to back when, when a good number of us were kids. I'm 100% positive that all the smoking inside homes (back then) definitely had a negative/adverse effect on growth, illness, sickness, etc, and that today, my guess would be, a high reduction in such associated deficits.
decemberlov
10-15-12, 1:32pm
Not looking to sidetrack this thread, but I was reminiscing my early smoking days, and how free smoking was, as in, smoking was allowed anywhere/everywhere, no rules, and most everyone accommodated it and accepted it, even if they were non-smokers themselves. Wow! Hasn't that changed!
While I avoided smoking at home (in front of my mom), she was so hurt and disappointed by me starting, I smoked everywhere else.
I remember hiring two babysitters (mid 90's), and one of them smoked, and I never thought twice about it. The issue wasn't even brought up or discussed. I simply assumed she would smoke (being a smoker and all) whenever she sat for us, and she did, but I'd never allow that now. Outside, or not at all, would be my rule/motto today Re:.
Same for my babysitting days, I smoked in a good number of the homes where I sat (more than not), because they were smoking-homes, but knowing what I know now, not a chance.
SiouzQ, Decemberlov, do you smoke in your homes?
Things really have changed!!! I remember being 16 or so and hanging out in a diner smoking with friends while people were eating! Gross!!!
I don't know of any restaurants that allow that now. However I do know some small dive bars that still allow smoking although I'm pretty sure it's illegal.
I do not smoke in my house. My mother never smoked when I was growing up so I was raised in a smoke free home and prefer my home that way as well.
Strangely enough I'm bothered by too much smoke, especially indoors even though I am a smoker myself.
Originally posted by Decemberlov.
Strangely enough I'm bothered by too much smoke, especially indoors even though I am a smoker myself.I was the same, and now that I've been a non-smoker for the past several years, I feel it even worse now, being cooped-up around smokers (close quarters) for even a brief time. Sore throat, stuffy, general sick feeling.
SiouzQ, you sound really, really motivated...I applaud you! I wish you success in your cessation. I know how hard it can be; my dad had to stop when finally he had to go on oxygen, but still he craved cigarettes every day.
I used to work in tobacco prevention & cessation at the health dept. A couple things I remember were recommended: 1) remove all your ashtrays, 2) drink lots of water.
Beyond that, I just wish you much success. Sounds like you have tons of support here!
rosarugosa
10-15-12, 7:29pm
It's funny, but although I smoked so much for so many years and only quit recently, I don't worry about the health effects much now. Because now I've done what I can to make things better, and there's not a thing I can do about the past. Before I quit, I worried all the time. Realistically, I know that I'm at risk for all kinds of stuff, but I'm pretty serene about it since taking the step of quitting.
Mrs. M: Here 's the best anecdote ever from the bad old days. When MIL went to the hospital to deliver, she and MD were in the delivery room and the baby wasn't coming yet. So MIL lit up a smoke, MD bummed one from her, and the two of them had a smoke together while waiting for labor to resume!
For the record, I never smoked but really feel for those who are addicted. My mother started smoking when she was 16 and went to college. Her roommate told her she wouldn't get colds if she smoked. Then she went home and taught her mother to smoke. She smoked from the age of 16 till the day she died. And she hated it. Quit several times, once for over a year. But I don't think she ever really, really wanted to quit because she was too afraid she'd get fat. She hated the idea of getting fat. Instead, she probably died about 10 years earlier than she should have.
Decemberlov: You sound like you should read a list of the statistics of how your body changes after you quit. You know, 30 minutes after your last cigarette, 1 day, 1 week, 1 year and so forth. That should inspire you if you're concerned about your health because as I understand it you can pretty much eliminate most of the damage smoking has done to your body. Here's a link:
http://www.gwu.edu/quitsmoking/health.html
Sound advice, KayLRZ.
Rosarugosa. I, too, can honestly say that days are few and far between, where I concern myself or give thought over associated health woes related to. The impact of knowing one is no longer a smoker is a powerful thing and IMO helps one progress with a sense of renewed freedom for good health. Re: your hospital delivery story, astonishing... Anything went back then, didn't it.
Bunnys. The idea behind ones body repairing itself after quitting is truly amazing, isn't it, and I like to think that it's one of the big selling features of being able to say, no more. Yes, there is a reward for ones hard work and effort.
Thanks for all the encouraging stuff to read...I am down to two cigarettes in the pack I bought last Friday. I had given myself license to smoke whenever I felt like it this weekend so I would get good and sick of it (which I am). Tomorrow is a new day...I am going to wake up and make my tea and do my stretches, just like usual. I am going to walk to the library in the morning and breathe deeply fresh morning air and put off lighting up as long as I can. I have to work later in the day and my intention is to not smoke. I really need to throw away those last two (sheesh, how many times have I done that lately). I have the power to choose and I plan and hope I choose the healthy course but if not, I can't keep beating myself up. I WILL beat this as I have done before.
decemberlov
10-16-12, 9:53am
Thanks for all the encouraging stuff to read...I am down to two cigarettes in the pack I bought last Friday. I had given myself license to smoke whenever I felt like it this weekend so I would get good and sick of it (which I am). Tomorrow is a new day...I am going to wake up and make my tea and do my stretches, just like usual. I am going to walk to the library in the morning and breathe deeply fresh morning air and put off lighting up as long as I can. I have to work later in the day and my intention is to not smoke. I really need to throw away those last two (sheesh, how many times have I done that lately). I have the power to choose and I plan and hope I choose the healthy course but if not, I can't keep beating myself up. I WILL beat this as I have done before.
Sounds like you're doing pretty good! And just remember not to give up. Just because we might slip up here or there does not mean that we have to give up! I think you've got this ;)
I bought a huge bag of life savers this morning instead of a pack of cigarettes. The best part, it was $2.50 instead of $7.00! Hopefully they'll keep me preoccupied and I'll make it through another day.
Good for you, Decemberlov! I am starting to jones for one right now with my cup of coffee ~ I am trying to mentally recall that it doesn't make me feel very good and it stinks and that I'll be pissed at myself for caving in. A lot of stuff is suddenly going on with my daughter and one of her friends (who just had a baby at age 19), so she's upset and feeling powerless and that her sobriety is being threatened because she is having a hard time coping with all of her feelings. Consequently, she is asking me for advice and help (which is a miracle in itself!) but it puts me smack dab in the middle of a drama which is exactly why I feel like smoking, because drama requires smoking, right? That was/is my coping mechanism...I must rewire the brain for a new way of coping. It's NOT EVEN MY DRAMA, either! How co-dependent is that!!
decemberlov
10-16-12, 10:29am
Good for you, Decemberlov! I am starting to jones for one right now with my cup of coffee ~ I am trying to mentally recall that it doesn't make me feel very good and it stinks and that I'll be pissed at myself for caving in. A lot of stuff is suddenly going on with my daughter and one of her friends (who just had a baby at age 19), so she's upset and feeling powerless and that her sobriety is being threatened because she is having a hard time coping with all of her feelings. Consequently, she is asking me for advice and help (which is a miracle in itself!) but it puts me smack dab in the middle of a drama which is exactly why I feel like smoking, because drama requires smoking, right? That was/is my coping mechanism...I must rewire the brain for a new way of coping. It's NOT EVEN MY DRAMA, either! How co-dependent is that!!
I'm sorry to hear about your daughter and her friend...not an easy situation I'm sure :(
I think all of us smokers are very much the same in that respect though. I still think how am I ever going to quit smoking when I have kids to take care of...what am I going to do when I'm stressed??!!
I'm also having the very same feeling as I sit here and drink my coffee...ugggghhhh so awful...but this too shall pass.
Good morning everybody!
SiouzQ. I just noticed that my addition was wrong (page 1) Re: the amount you'll save through insurance premiums if you quit, although you probably already knew that anyway, but your savings equate to $260 per year!
I thought of another thing I did when I was working on quitting and eventually, finally quit, no more smoking in the home by anybody, not that our home was ever a gathering place or point where smokers congregated regularly, just that up until I quit, I looked past the smoking thing in our house, but not after.
Isolating oneself from any/all of it really helps. Not seeing it, smelling it, or knowing it, is the best medicine, and good on you for incorporating exercise into your day. That really helps, too.
Decemberlov. Way to go on the candy purchase in lieu of cigarettes! What a huge stepping-stone that is!
Okay, I am going to admit I smoked the last two cigs this morning (which by the way, did have the desired effect in that I didn't enjoy them at all :) I'm about to go to work and cannot smoke in the car (because I don't have any and won't leave myself enough time to get any) and the good thing is I really don't want to at this point. The next tricky thing will be handling my breaks and lunch at work ~ I am taking a book and my I-pod and I won't sit at the smoking table today.
How are you doing, Decemberlov? WE CAN DO IT, YES WE CAN!
decemberlov
10-16-12, 4:11pm
Okay, I am going to admit I smoked the last two cigs this morning (which by the way, did have the desired effect in that I didn't enjoy them at all :) I'm about to go to work and cannot smoke in the car (because I don't have any and won't leave myself enough time to get any) and the good thing is I really don't want to at this point. The next tricky thing will be handling my breaks and lunch at work ~ I am taking a book and my I-pod and I won't sit at the smoking table today.
How are you doing, Decemberlov? WE CAN DO IT, YES WE CAN!
That's good, they're gone and now you can start out new :)
I just ate a little while ago and I'm drying to smoke but I haven't caved yet. I think I may have if there was someone here at work to bum a smoke off of but there isn't and that's good!
Me & you SiouzQ...we've got this :cool:
I will be doing this with you also starting in November. I am getting the fake vapor cig because I love holding the darn thing in my hands!
rosarugosa
10-16-12, 7:51pm
I didn't go near anyone who smoked for several months after I quit, but now I am able to be around smokers without any problem.
After meals, I would go and brush my teeth immediately and I also treated myself to Tom's of Maine mouthwash for after meals. It is expensive, but I really like the taste.
As far as the stress goes, I just took it off the table as an option for managing stress. When we quit, my DH had just been diagnosed with cancer, so that was a pretty stressful time. I just kept reminding myself that that wasn't how I dealt with stress anymore, and it it never actually helped anyway. I also remind myself how a smoke isn't really ever satisfying; it just makes you want another and another . . .
Healthwise: I started feeling so much better so quickly. I feel 10 years younger, I can walk better, breathe better, more energy - pretty wonderful!
I managed okay until my last break tonight and ended up bumming one from someone (story of my life). Progress, not perfection (yet). At least I didn't buy any and I won't have any laying around the house tomorrow morning.
Really proud of you, Decemberlov!
decemberlov
10-17-12, 10:53am
I managed okay until my last break tonight and ended up bumming one from someone (story of my life). Progress, not perfection (yet). At least I didn't buy any and I won't have any laying around the house tomorrow morning.
Really proud of you, Decemberlov!
Good job SiouzQ!! Proud of you too! Coincidentally I bummed a smoke off someone while leaving work...but I too didn't buy a pack and I'm not giving up :)
Me either! Today is starting off great ~ I did my stretches, drank tea instead of coffee, went for a walk (it's really nice out today) and I am about to go to work. Hard part is that we have a work party tonight and it will probably involve beer, which is my greatest weakness revolving around cigarette smoking. I could always choose not to go but heck, I would like to participate in these things! Must be strong, must be strong, I CAN be strong if I choose!
it will probably involve beer, which is my greatest weakness revolving around cigarette smoking
Just so you know, since I have quit, I still enjoy alcohol without any craving for a cigarette. Or a cup of coffee. Or any other used to be trigger that would make me reach for one.
You will be so proud of yourself some day soon when you conquer this habit.
Decemberlov and SiouzQ, sounds like you two are doing really well! Sending a dusting of perseverance your way in hopes of you licking the habit! Keep us posted!
Sorry to dash your hopes, Mrs. M, but I didn't end up doing very well last night (the work party...). I am pretty sure I am going to need outside intervention to be serious about it, and perhaps use the patch once again (it has worked in the past). I am going to have to ask for more help because I have concluded I simply cannot do it in isolation by myself, even with my internet friends rooting me on, of which I am grateful for your time and interest in my sorry plight. I'm thinking no later than November 1st - there HAS to be a total cutoff day I HAVE get serious about this!
It's times like these where I wish a few of us (forum members) lived closer/close to one another. I know exactly what you mean when you say you are going to need more help. Having others (immediately) around you definitely contributes to a more acute effort, because you know you're always being watched, questioned, critiqued, and held accountable.
Not to dash your idea behind an "absolute date", but I wouldn't be too hard on yourself in that department. Quitting, is challenging enough, but adding a D-Day to the mix IMO doesn't do one any favours. I believe through a few falls and stumbles along the way is where one builds additional strength and determination to "want to", as compared to that of a simple date, which IMO, pushes back (even further) the quitting process, allowing one to relax and coast for an additional length of time.
I say work at being your strongest (day by day), and if you find you need a cigarette to get you by, then have one, but make a conscientious effort to remind yourself as to how many slips and falls you've had (each day), that way when you wake up the next day, you can better your efforts from the previous day. (Yesterday I had three cigarettes, today I'm going to try and only smoke two).
It's a gradual process that happens over time, cold-turkey stories (I believe) are few and far between.
decemberlov
10-18-12, 1:41pm
Sorry to dash your hopes, Mrs. M, but I didn't end up doing very well last night (the work party...). I am pretty sure I am going to need outside intervention to be serious about it, and perhaps use the patch once again (it has worked in the past). I am going to have to ask for more help because I have concluded I simply cannot do it in isolation by myself, even with my internet friends rooting me on, of which I am grateful for your time and interest in my sorry plight. I'm thinking no later than November 1st - there HAS to be a total cutoff day I HAVE get serious about this!
Hi SiouzQ...I too failed pretty miserably yesterday...I've actually peeked in here several times today and felt too ashamed of myself to admit my failure. But, here I am. I too think I may need a little more help with this thing than I originally thought.
I went back to the Zen Habits site, I really like some of the advise he gives and I remembered reading a post that I thought was really good. Here it is below. I think that I need to come up with a new habit to replace my smoking habit. I originally thought that that bag of life savers would be my life saver...and it worked for a day but I definitely need something else. I think maybe I'll try walking the dog or maybe playing my guitar more, something constructive. I know that the urges do pass fairly quickly as long as I don't dwell on them and let them linger in my mind and taunt me.
The 7 Keys to Turning Bad Habits Into Good Habits
Post written by Leo Babauta (http://zenhabits.net/about/). Follow me on Twitter (http://twitter.com/zen_habits).
Quitting smoking was one of the most difficult things to do — in fact, I failed the first six times I tried quitting.
Each time I failed in my quit attempt, I felt guilty and weak and unsure of my ability to overcome such difficult hurdles. But looking back on it, it was the failed attempts that taught me the most about what works and what doesn’t.
And on my seventh attempt to quit, I was prepared. I knew what got in the way of success, and I planned for it. I had researched habit changes, and had multiple strategies for success in my plan. And the things I learned from this successful habit change were keys to changing all the habits that have made me the person I am today.
Reader Tarra recently asked:
I was reading about how to be motivated and break bad habits and replace with positive ones. I also saw your suggestion on one at a time for 30 days. Unfortunately I am going to be forced to make several changes at once due to a medical diagnosis. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with quitting smoking, cutting out alcohol, dealing with a medical problem, having three young kids and still try to be positive?
Unfortunately I’ve never had to do so many things at once, so I can’t give much advice on that. However, I have quit smoking and have changed other bad habits, and I think the same principles for changing one bad habit will apply here.
There are a few keys to changing bad habits … I highly recommend that you create a plan based on these keys, before you start to implement your habit change, so that you are well prepared and well positioned for success:
1. For each habit, identify your triggers. What situations trigger your smoking habit (waking in the morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful meetings, going out with friends, driving, etc.)? Identify all of them, for each habit.
2. For every single trigger, identify a positive habit you’re going to do instead. When you first wake in the morning, instead of smoking, what will you do? What about when you get stressed? When you go out with friends? Some positive habits could include: exercise, meditation, deep breathing, organizing, decluttering, and more.
3. For at least one month, focus entirely on being as consistent with your triggers as possible. That means, every single time those triggers come up, do the positive habit you identified instead of the negative one. The more consistent you are, the better the habit will form. If you sometimes do the new habit when the trigger occurs, and sometimes don’t, the new habit won’t form very well. Try to do it every single time. If for some reason you fail, extend the one-month period and try to be very consistent from that point onward.
4. Avoid some situations where you normally drink and smoke, at least for awhile, to make it a bit easier on yourself. If you normally drink when you go out with friends, consider not going out for a little while. If you normally go outside your office with co-workers to smoke, avoid going out with them. This applies to any bad habit — whether it be eating junk food or doing drugs, there are some situations you can avoid that are especially difficult for someone trying to change a bad habit. Realize, though, that when you go back to those situations, you will still get the old urges, and when that happens you should be prepared.
5. Realize that your urges will be strong, but they will go away after a few minutes. They come in waves, but just ride out the wave. Find strategies for getting through the urges — deep breathing, self massage, eating frozen grapes, walking around, exercising, calling a friend who will support you.
6. Ask for help. Get your family and friends and co-workers to support you. Find an AA group in your area. Join online forums where people are trying to quit. When you have really strong urges or a really difficult time, call on your support network for help. Don’t smoke a cigarette, for example, without posting to your online quit forum. Don’t have a drop of alcohol before calling your AA buddy.
7. Staying positive is key! You will have negative thoughts — the important thing is to realize when you’re having them, and push them out of your head. Squash them like a bug! Then replace them with a positive thought. “I can do this! If Leo can do it, so can I!” :)
Bonus tip: If you fail (and many of you will, at least once), don’t give up. As I said, it took me seven tries to successfully quit smoking. Figure out what went wrong, and plan strategies to overcome that obstacle the next time. Keep your positive attitude and keep trying. You’ll get it eventually.
Decemberlov, I printed out the Seven Keys list; it is sitting on my desk as I type. Also sitting on my desk is a box of patches, and sitting on my shoulder is the little devil that is whispering, "just one last pack, 'cuz you are going to quit soon" ARRGGGHHHHHHH! I only had two yesterday and have none in the house and I am about to go to work. One of two things is going to happen - I COULD put the first patch on, OR I COULD leave for work a few minutes early and go to the gas station and get that proverbial "last pack" and....oh, boy, this is hard....
Well, it's Monday morning, a fresh start to the week, and I'm dying to know how everyone did.
I have opened the said box of patches; they are still sitting on my desk. But I opened them. I may even read the instructions soon :) I need to stop obsessing so much, that I know, and JUST DO IT...
The first step is the hardest...
pinkytoe
10-25-12, 10:28am
5. Realize that your urges will be strong, but they will go away after a few minutes. They come in waves, but just ride out the wave.
This is so true. I think there may be some truth to the 21 day habit rule, ie that it takes that long to change a habit. I recall telling myself if I went so many hours without, I could have one. Then when that hour came, I pushed the reward a little further out, and so on. Eventually hours turned into days into weeks and I was past the really strong desire. Anyway...that's what worked for me.
Hi all, I went through this as well. I actually don't recall how long it has been since I smoked but within the last 4 months for sure.
I made quitting part of my meditation practice. Which means I very midnfully smoked. I paid attention to every tiny detail of smoking, including the good stuff. After awhile I was also very aware of how very crappy I felt at other times of the day. I realized how I was using nicotine to cover for not eating or getting enough sleep. I even saw that when I got into certain complainy, not very productive, conversations I had an overwhelming urge to smoke.
My first thing was to let myself have starbucks drinks pretty much as much as I wanted them. It was a huge expense however I timed it out so I was not spending any more than I would on smoking. Now in the last month I am seriously cutting back on the starbucks as well, overall saving a chunk of money.
So keep it up, and really do not feel bad for coming here and talking about a bad day. Both of you are doing great, I can't wait until at least one of my girls considers quitting. I don't want to pass things off to them but I had not smoked in 20 years when I started having kids who smoked (both started at 15) and it was back in my life, making it really easy to pick up again.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2026 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.