reflections on egos at work - a rant of sorts

[pinkytoe]

Because of my yen for simple living, I try to approach all aspects of my life with a bit of humility. I am continually amazed at how so many of my coworkers, especially those with massive education and titles operate as if they are exceptionally important. It is almost comical from my viewpoint as I deal with so many of them on a daily basis and observe them acting as if the world will stop spinning if their work projects aren't prioritized. I remain eternally conflicted about ambition. That's it - that's all I needed to say.

[ApatheticNoMore]

It's probably the kinds of attitudes that are richly rewarded within the realm of that game (suceeding in corporate america). Ultimately true? Nah. But rewarded within that arena, which will be considered being successful.

[rodeosweetheart]

I hear you, Pinkytoe, and wish you were my coworker!

[kitten]

My husband (let's call him Moss) sees this a lot at his job, where he was promoted to a management gig that includes employee scheduling. OMFG! He loves his people, but from his description they're incredibly entitled and lazy - calling in sick constantly and leaving him in the lurch all the frickin' time. They're understaffed anyway, so when one person can't work, it creates an ugly domino effect. Nobody cares about the product (news radio) or what their schedule conflict is going to do to the team, they just want to get their time off. Right now they have this thing where you have to use or lose your vacation, so everybody is asking to take the same days off. People have to be moved around like a game of music chairs, and they resist it and give him all kinds of attitude.

One of his desk people asked to have every other Monday off until the end of the year. Moss considered it, consulted the head honcho and tried to make it work, but ultimately it was impossible given the staff situation. The guy just went ballistic. Moss referred him to the big boss, but the guy skulked off - he didn't want to take it up the chain, because he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. So now he just gives Moss the evil eye and drags his feet at work.

Moss asked the station news director and a guy he respects a lot, what was up with his people. He said, "Here's what it is - everybody thinks the universe revolves around them."

So true! lol

[catherine]

I'm probably one of the few people who prefer coach to first class most of the time (I get upgraded a lot because of my frequent flier status)

... first, because I'm short, and my legs are really short, and because the seats are so big, I get cramps in my legs unless it's a big plane that has leg rests that come up. The other reason is because I typically have to suffer all the "I'm the most important person on the plane--and that includes the pilot" attitudes in first class.

In fact, here's my favorite comedy clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkot_vljBJU&feature=related), with Brian Regan, that pretty much encapsulates my experience in first class

[BayouGirl]

Ugh! There are few things more stressing than dealing with the egos and agendas of some coworkers. I have seen so much of that in every place I have worked. I wasn't interested in attaining glory, I just wanted to do a good job and take care of my students and patrons. But you can't help but get dragged into it. It is exhausting sometimes and frustrating.

Honestly, I was so glad when I was laid off. Seriously, my boss was crying and I was comforting her, telling her I was fine and even glad to be let go. I had long wanted to stay home and work from home. I wouldn't have quit but I was quit happy to be laid off, even without unemployment, which I never filed for. BayouBoy was fine with me staying home and trying to work from home. So now I work from home, freelancing as a writer mostly doing rewrites and spinning articles which is simple and not complex at all. I have slacked off that some since I also work with my gram.

It used to kill me how some of the stupidest and most useless people could get ahead due to nepotism, politics and scheming. I have a college degree but was never a snob about it, never thought it made me better than anyone. BayouBoy couldn't deal with working indoors in an office with stuff like that. I guess that is why he is happier on his tractor making hay, on his horse and working cattle, or in his boat catching gators rather than working in a traditional job. Apparently dealing with gators, the heat or cold outdoors, cows, horses, plumbing, carpentry, whatever - is preferable to him than dealing with office politics and egos.

I understand that completely. I respect that. I have complete faith that he can do almost anything and fix anything whether it is mechanical, plumbing, electrical, etc. This is the man who moved a house!! I have much more respect for that than I would some who was a rich banker, stockbroker or some other fancy titled person who was essentially useless at fixing stuff hands on or being able to do hard labor such as putting a roof on a house.

I have worked as a roofer with BayouBoy and his brother after a hurricane. It is indeed hard and the heat in a Louisiana summer is awful. I don't feel it was beneath me since I used to be a teacher or have a college degree. But our friends and families needed roofs and needed it done by people who wouldn't cheat them. BayouBoy and his brother are both skilled roofers and I was their helper up on the roof with them.

Some people were surprised my little ole me being up there roofing, especially when they learned I used to be a teacher. They asked my brother in law if he was going to pay me as much as I made as a teacher. He just grinned and replied (with that trace of Cajun accent that he has) " Is she gonna teach those shingles to read?". ROFL!! He paid me well because I was a good worker and kept up with him and BB work wise.

So neither me or BayouBoy wants to deal with the politics of traditional jobs. We have a simple life and are practically stress free. You couldn't pay us enough to go back to traditional jobs with all of the stuff involved with that.

[Lainey]

In fact, here's my favorite comedy clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkot_vljBJU&feature=related), with Brian Regan, that pretty much encapsulates my experience in first class

catherine, thanks for posting, that is hilarious!

[bunnys]

There's a lot of people who have no grace or humility. Instead they default to defensiveness.

The other day I was sitting at a light when this guy (looking in another direction than the one he was driving) started to head toward me. He was going to hit me and I beeped my horn at him to warn him to stop. He got defensive. Looked at me and started cursing--because I stopped at a light and in his way. So pathetic.

What is so wrong with admitting you're in error and offering an apology, anyway? I don't see it as weak. I see it as incredibly confident.

[JaneV2.0]

Coincidentally, Refdesk.com's Quote of the Day is:

"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength." - Eric Hoffer

[puglogic]

Coincidentally, Refdesk.com's Quote of the Day is:

"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength." - Eric Hoffer

So perfect.

[puglogic]

I remain eternally conflicted about ambition.

It is a foreign world to me, pinkytoe. I don't think I could ever go back to it. Even before I left the corporate world for good, I was shifting away from "what can I do/be/say to get ahead" to "what can I do to have more fun, find more joy, and connect with more people". With that shift, I became wholly unsuitable for most jobs that rely on ego and climbing to get ahead. But it works tremendously well in self-employment.

[decemberlov]

It is a foreign world to me, pinkytoe. I don't think I could ever go back to it. Even before I left the corporate world for good, I was shifting away from "what can I do/be/say to get ahead" to "what can I do to have more fun, find more joy, and connect with more people". With that shift, I became wholly unsuitable for most jobs that rely on ego and climbing to get ahead. But it works tremendously well in self-employment.

This sums up how I feel at the moment and have for some time now. I'm not doing anything that is making a change for the better for people or the planet. I want to connect with people on a much different level than I do now. I go to a business referral meeting once a week and it's such a drag...everyone is there to make more and more money and I just have no desire :(

[redfox]

Coincidentally, Refdesk.com's Quote of the Day is: "Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength." - Eric Hoffer

Oh, I like this too! I've been struggling for a year & a half with a board president who is controlling, often imperious, and hangs up in the middle of conversations. It's been horrible. She has finally stepped down, and a kind, reasonable gentleman has stepped into her place. Both he & a new board member, who has been an ED, said to me that they believe the board's role is to support the ED! Wow.... I am looking forward to that.

We just came off of a planning retreat, and I have begun to see the brittle fear and manic control behavior in this past president. It's sad. She, for whatever reason, tries to manage everyone around her. My compassion for her emerged during this retreat. She drinks a lot of alcohol, to the point where if it was my spouse, I'd plan an intervention. I don't know what she is trying to allay with her behavior, but I finally get it that it is absolutely not about me. I hope she finds a way to soften and be more present in life, because in those moments when she does, she's a smart, delightful woman.

[pinkytoe]

what can I do to have more fun, find more joy, and connect with more people
This is all that really matters to me at this stage, too. Alas, I need the paycheck so I spend a lot of time multi-tasking - working and daydreaming about what I'd rather be doing.

[shadowmoss]

On a realted note, I still remember one time when I made a mistake driving in traffic and cut a woman off. I was horrified that I had done that, and as she drove past obviously giving me heck, I bowed my head and mouthed "I'm sorry". She looked at me, waved and drove off. I think we both felt better.

[lhamo]

I'm glad you're getting some relief redfox.

I'm lhamo and I'm an overachiever. I probably annoy some people at work. It isn't because I am power hungry (though maybe some see me as being overly controlling or a micromanager) or into heirarchy (I have a Ph.D. that I am proud to have earned, but I cringe every time someone calls me "Dr."). But I care a great deal about the work we do, largely because I think it makes a positive difference in the world, and try to do the best job I can every day. I can be pushy when there is something that needs to be done that isn't being taken care of. I call people out when they are not living up to their commitments or pulling their weight. Usually, it is a case where someone hasn't explained to me that they have another set of priorities or needs that have to be addressed first. If there is clear communication about that, then in most cases I will do what I can to step in to help. I'm a work in progress, and where I sense that I have crossed a line and started to annoy people I will back off and try to address the workload issues in another way while rebuilding the relationship.

Granted, there are lots of unpleasant people out there but I hope people aren't just rushing to judgement about colleagues just based on their titles, degrees, or the fact that they take their work seriously.

lhamo