Need advice on hosting DD's cat

[CathyA]

DD has a cat in her apartment in another town, about 3 hours from here. Usually, when she comes to visit us, she has a friend stop by each day and check on the cat. But for Thanksgiving and Christmas, her friends will all be out of town. I guess before really thinking it through, I mentioned that maybe she could bring the cat with her. We have a dog, who can be a bit crazy, but learns to deal with other animals in a short time. I'm thinking we could keep the cat in my big bedroom that has its own bathroom for the first day, and then slowly introduce it to the dog. BUT.........DD would come on Thanksgiving eve and then we would all go to a relatives house on Thanksgiving for about 9 hours. This makes me really uncomfortable. DD says that her cat has never peed anywhere but the litter box and wouldn't hurt anything. But I'm sure my dog would be at the bedroom door all day...........maybe barking/scratching the door, etc.

I don't want to put the cat in the bathroom all day, which would put it further from the dog. The bathroom is big and has a window.......but it still seems cruel.

DD isn't sure how the cat will tolerate a 3 hour drive, since it freaks out just going to the vet. I think she could get a sedative for it?

I'm trying to be kind to the cat. I don't want it staying for long periods of time by itself, but I also don't want to make the holidays, the holidays from hell.
DD isn't really interested in hiring a stranger to check on the cat. She has no other people she can ask to help.
Is having her bring her cat to our house unreasonable? Undo-able? Just asking for trouble??

For those of you with cats.........I'd really like your opinions and suggestions. I'd love to make this work......but I don't want anything destroyed.
Her cat is about 6 years old and seems fairly well-behaved and flexible.
Thanks!

[Stacy]

I think bringing the cat would be traumatic for everyone involved. Is it just a few days? Isn't there a kennel in your DD's town where she bring the cat?
When we've been gone for a few days, we left the cats at home. We bought a set of food and water dispensers that continually filled the dishes, so they never ran out. The cats just slept most of the time we were gone.

[herbgeek]

What about a pet sitter? If I'm gone more than 3 days, I get one to check in our cats. Well worth the peace of mind. My cats associate the car with the vet and freak out too. With a pet sitter, the cats can be in their own familiar environment, familiar smells and a familiar napping spot.

I just re-read and saw your daughter didn't want to hire a stranger. A good pet sitter will meet your pets ahead of time, and are usually bonded and insured if your daughter is worried about that.

[Miss Cellane]

In a couple of emergency situations, I've left my cat alone for 4 days/3 nights, leaving out enough food and water for 7 days at least, and with three litter boxes. Not ideal, but there were extenuating circumstances. Usually I have a friend come over to feed and water her.

There are options, like a kennel or a professional pet sitter.

Some vets will give sedatives for cats going on long car rides. No vet I've had will do so, claiming that the dosage is difficult to determine and "You don't want the cat to sleep for a whole day, do you?" Well, if you've ever experienced my cat in a car, yes, her sleeping for a day is better than the stress she goes through.

If the cat can stand the car ride, it can come to your house. Frankly, if the cat is afraid of the dog, putting it in the bathroom, with food, water, litter box and a cozy place to curl up, would be the best thing. The cat would feel safer. Most likely, it will sleep a lot. Some cats like small, closed-in places. My cat's favorite places, in order from first to least: my lap, in a cat bed under my desk, under my bed, and in a covered cat bed behind the living room sofa.

[fidgiegirl]

Just because you uttered it once doesn't mean you can't go back to DD and explain that now you've thought it through, it would be better not to bring the cat (and it sounds like it would). Thanksgiving is a generous amount of time away still, plenty of time for her to find a sitter for it. You wouldn't be creating a hardship situation.

If $$ is an issue, one visit over a long weekend should do it for cats. Here, I used to charge $25-30 for such a visit a few years ago. Perhaps you could give her the money if that's the obstacle - it would save everyone's sanity. If it's the issue of an unknown person, as herbgeek pointed out, many petsitters are bonded/licensed/insured/come with references.

My SiL and BiL bring their dogs to family gatherings at my in-laws' and for some reason it bothers me. Not everyone is comfortable with their behaviors (LOL now that I think about it, mostly with their behaviors related to the dogs - not the dogs themselves!) and they are underfoot in a strange setting. Mostly they are fine and probably it is partly jealousy that my one dog isn't welcome (different kind of coat) but it seems an imposition to bring one's animals if not truly necessary, especially if the host is even a teeny bit uncomfortable with it. Now my dogs do go to my parents but they are completely open and encouraging about it, and if they weren't, we wouldn't. They'd stay home, and we'd make other arrangements.

[CathyA]

Thanks for all your suggestions! Thanksgiving is a bit more challenging because we'll be gone the first day the cat would be here. DD will be home for 4 days then. But for Christmas, she'll be here for a week.........and we wouldn't be going anywhere, so that might be a better time. But I think I've convinced DD to look for a reputable pet sitter for Thanksgiving. If that works out, she might consider leaving her there for Christmas too.
The car ride IS an issue.
She just misses her alot and wants us all to be together, which is understandable, but like I said, I don't want it turning into the holidays from hell for everyone.
And yes Miss Cellane, I too would rather have the cat sleep all day, than have it freaking out in the car for 3 hours....maybe even causing DD to have an accident.
I think the pet-sitter is a great idea and will encourage DD to seriously look into that.

LOL fidgiegirl........you reminded me that some of our relatives would bring their big dog to one of our holiday get-togethers (after a 4-5 hour ride) and just let it run outside (on a farm). When we left after dark and got into the car, we just about gagged on some smell. Ended up DS had stepped in the dog's poop and it was on his shoes. I think the dog had eaten funky food that day too. We drove home with DS's shoes hanging outside the car! lol!

[iris lily]

It's is completely NOT CRUEL to keep a cat in a bathroom for a day or two.

[creaker]

I think it would be much better to do the lots of water bowls, some food bowls and leave it at home route. Even for 3-4 days, unless the cat has behaviors (like shredding furniture, etc). Car rides by themselves are usually very traumatic for most cats, as your DD pointed out. And like you said, the cat would need to be alone at your house for a good stretch anyway.

If the cat can handle having someone stop in just once a day to check up on it, it should be fine staying at your DD's place for a few days. Maybe not happy, but I think the alternative would make it much more unhappy, if not very traumatized.

[sweetana3]

I have had cats for 40 years and traveled with them from Alaska to Indiana.

1. Cats should 100% always travel in a kennel in the car. Therefore, no danger to driver. We have driven from Seattle to Indiana and from Indiana to NC and return. All the cats made it safely without too many issues.
2. Cat will be fine and perhaps even better in the bathroom with food, water, pan and bed. Bring the cat's own stuff with it.
Remember that kennels and catteries and shelters offer far less space for months and years at a time.
3. I would not bother trying to integrate into a strange house for a short time. The dog may or may not be a problem, but why do it when it is a short term issue.
4. Dont change diet.

In the long run, it is much better to leave the cat alone at home in its familiar surroundings than to drag it around. Cats are true homebodies and since they sleep 20 hours a day, it does not bother them to be alone.

[awakenedsoul]

I would leave the cat at home with full self feeders, too. They love to be in their familiar surroundings. It's much less traumatic.

[fidgiegirl]

LOL fidgiegirl........you reminded me that some of our relatives would bring their big dog to one of our holiday get-togethers (after a 4-5 hour ride) and just let it run outside (on a farm). When we left after dark and got into the car, we just about gagged on some smell. Ended up DS had stepped in the dog's poop and it was on his shoes. I think the dog had eaten funky food that day too. We drove home with DS's shoes hanging outside the car! lol!

LOL - Awesome solution! I can picture it now! :D