running into people I knew when I was crazy

[Zoe Girl]

I participate in a weekly meditation group at a church. Mostly we take turns leading the guided meditation and then we can have some guest speakers as well. We just had a great speaker for a weekend deal (much longer story, famous guy and the committee had some issues with advertising, or lack thereof). So on our weekly service he came and we had 25 people which is a pretty decent group size.

I saw somebody new that looked so familiar, but I was busy helping with things and could not place him. Partway through the service I realized who he was and wanted to go up and say hi after the meditation. Several people needed to talk to me and by that time he was gone. Then out at my car I recalled that he knew me at work when i was 'crazy'. I really was not someone I even wanted to be at that time but in any case that was it. I remember asking him about his marriage which was falling apart and trying to be supportive, but also having too many obsessive moments at that job. I have never gone back to visit after I quit. At one point a young lady who was a friend told me that he and another person had been laughing behind my back and she didn't want me to get hurt by it. Now I am not sure I want him to come back to the service after all.

The worst of the crazy time was a bad cycle of getting so lonely for adult company that I was losing my mind, then not being very good about adult company when I had it(obsessive talking and other issues), and then having less of adult company. I have lost most of my friends, and a good half of that was realizing I was counting friends who had simply moved on. Basically I have one in state and one out of state friend, plus a local totally unavailable person. The only difference is that I am accepting of this. It makes me want to find this guy again and invite him back, but that is likely a bad idea. If he does come back I think polite and a little aloof is best.

[Tussiemussies]

So sorry Zoe that you have this issue in what would be a spiritual place and time. I have had times that I was so mentally ill that if I had to be in the workplace it would have been a horror story for me. I wish people could be more compassionate. Sorry that you have to go through this. I agree with your plan on how to handle this...christine

[bunnys]

Any person who I found out had laughed at me behind my back when I previously knew him would not be the type of person I'd want to befriend at a later point in life, regardless of how thin on the ground my circle of friends currently was.

He sounds like a mean person. You sound like a recovering person. I'd steer clear. I wouldn't even speak to him or acknowledge your past unless someone else introduces him to you.

[ctg492]

We are who we are and today is what matters, We can not change our past, but our future is spotless. Time heals.

It has taken sometime for me to hold my head high after the issues my son had. In the end I realized anyone that may say something to me about him, did not care about me or him , so they did not matter to me.

[rodeosweetheart]

+1 to what bunnys said.

I am truly sorry this guy showed up where you worship, but it sure sounds like he needs to be reconciled with the Holy Spirit, so maybe he is hitting his learning curve.

I'd just pray for him and stay away from him, as he sounds troubled. And praying for him will help you to stay calm and centered in your own recovery.

And you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

[razz]

We are who we are and today is what matters, We can not change our past, but our future is spotless. Time heals.

It has taken sometime for me to hold my head high after the issues my son had. In the end I realized anyone that may say something to me about him, did not care about me or him , so they did not matter to me.

Well said!

[Float On]

If he comes back and if he talks to you, you can always say "you look familiar but I can't quite place you." He can say "we worked at X&X". You can then laugh lightly and say "Oh those are my forgotten years, bad time in my life that I don't care to re-visit."

My MIL taught me that. She said "It covers all and let's everyone move on."

[SteveinMN]

I really like both bunny's and Float On's advice. I can't think of any way to handle the situation better.

[RosieTR]

I was going to say something similar to FloatOn's advice. Often a short explanation of something without getting too far into it is enough to get you to a different place. If you run into him again or whatever, you can just say something about going through a lot when you knew him before. If he presses the issue or dredges up the past, leave or just keep repeating that it's bringing up painful memories you don't care to relive. If there's a group, he'd look like the jerk and if not, repeating yourself calmly usually gets the message across even when it shorts out the first couple times.

[Polliwog]

If he comes back and if he talks to you, you can always say "you look familiar but I can't quite place you." He can say "we worked at X&X". You can then laugh lightly and say "Oh those are my forgotten years, bad time in my life that I don't care to re-visit." "

+1. Also, maybe he has changed for the better.

[Zoebird]

I do what float-on did. I even tell people I have no idea what I write online about 10 minutes after I write it. Because it's out of my head then. :)