View Full Version : How do you deal with frustration?
No particulars - just stalemate situations everywhere I turn lately - work, home, time, etc. Just curious if you have particular coping mechanisms besides strong margaritas to get through the rough patches?
Running or exercising first, strong margaritas after :-)!
Seriously, I am the most impatient person on the planet and have found that, to keep me from going crazy because of OTHER people's actions that make me frustrated (it's ALWAYS other people, NEVER me that causes the problems :-)!) I do some physical activity to calm me down and occupy my time as well as my mind. Once I have phyically calmed myself (usually so that I am physically tired) things take a totally different, less frustrating, aspect. Often times after a tirering workout I wonder what I ever got so worked up about in the first place. Those frustraions just sort of go away...for awhile. Adding in the strong margarita makes them stay gone a bit longer :-)!
I've taken up golf recently and found quite by accident that going to the driving range does wonders for my frustration level.
Taking a walk in the woods, deep breathing, remembering fun times or anticipating new fun times, creating something, connecting with a friend, maybe a little luxurious self care, cup of tea, chocolate.
By repeating my mantra "nothing matters" over and over again until I realize that in the scheme of things (the big picture, that is) whatever I'm angry about really is puny and insignificant. It's just my ego telling me it's important.
Also, I walk 2 hours a day in the park by the river.
But having a grounding, humbling mantra really does work.
Miss Cellane
11-9-12, 6:05pm
Well, opposite of herbgeek, if there is anything you can destroy, that might help.
By that I mean chopping wood, tearing down an old shed, cleaning out a basement or garage and smashing the stuff that's getting thrown out (instead of donated, etc.) Ripping up plants from a frostbitten garden, facing a messy task and getting it done. Kind of how Kay is hitting those golf balls--you want something that will let you get the frustration out.
One of my college roommates came home one day mad as heck about something. She stood in the middle of the living room and ripped newspapers into shreds for about 15 mintues. Then she was a bit calmer and we fed her ice cream and Kahlua until she was ready to go to sleep.
I say "accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can"--that can calm me down in an instant. When I go to bed I think of 5 things I'mglad that happened that day, and tell them telepathically to my dog or bird. And I say a Lakota praper daily, which includes the recognition that we are family with everyonthing-=-people, animals, plants rocks, space, everything. Then I don't feel forlornly alone with my problem.
Well, opposite of herbgeek, if there is anything you can destroy, that might help.
Heh- that was my advice for OTHER people. When I'm really pissed off or frustrated, I will organize or clean. And when I say clean, I mean scrub like I'm scrubbing someone's face off. (Any other thread on cleaning where I've contributed you'll see that I hate to do cleaning- but I make an exception when I'm mad) Or I'll do something mindless and repetitive like picking up acorns.
First I have to ask myself if the time and effort I am spending with this person/work/project is worth it. Sometimes it's not so I just walk away.
If I still need to face the situations, I research a way to fortify my position. Most of my frustrations come from dealing with incompetent gov't employees. Usually I end up going through pages and pages of mind-numbing regs to find the one that specifically backs my reasonable & lawful request and then return to request they please do their job :) Nailing their butts to the wall makes for a very satisfying solution.
Although with personal friends & fam that's not usually the best way to go about things :P
In the end sometimes I just curl up with a good book and a hot chocolate and don't leave the apartment until I finish it. Stewing about the problem the whole time.
awakenedsoul
11-9-12, 9:36pm
It helps me to focus on a creative goal. Right now I'm totally jazzed about my remodeling project. Vigorous exercise helps, too. If I'm upset about something, and I write about it, that helps clear my head. It also shifts my perspective to write down five things for which I am grateful.
Most of my frustrations come from dealing with incompetent gov't employees.
So funny...that is exactly one of the things bugging me. I tried to reason with someone within the bowels of bureacracy at work and all she could do was spout off her schpiel over and over. I ended up getting verbally mad at her over the phone...which is just not like me. There just seem to be a lot of really dense people out there these days. And then...ripping out old landscaping is on my list of things to do but I haven't had the time to get to it until tomorrow and it is supposed to rain...after six weeks without rain. Grrr...
I once had the most satisfying experience of getting rid of enormous frustration and anger by smashing a coconut to smithereens with a hammer! Man, that felt good! :)
Miss Cellane
11-10-12, 7:17am
Another thing I do is make bread. Not with a bread machine, by hand. I find thumping and bashing and outright hitting the dough can be quite calming and soothing.
The year I shared an apartment with my brother, we ate a lot of homemade bread. He enjoyed it, but he had no idea how that bread made it possible for me to put up with him.
Heh- that was my advice for OTHER people. When I'm really pissed off or frustrated, I will organize or clean. And when I say clean, I mean scrub like I'm scrubbing someone's face off. (Any other thread on cleaning where I've contributed you'll see that I hate to do cleaning- but I make an exception when I'm mad) Or I'll do something mindless and repetitive like picking up acorns.
+1 on this - even if it doesn't stop the frustration right away, when it does go away all the stuff that got done is a very pleasant bonus :-) Very positive redirection of negative energy.
Keeping perspective is another - feeling frustrated is normal and acceptable but getting carried away by it with often feels childish when I consider what so many other people go through everyday that make my problems look small and trivial in comparison.
I clean, call someone to vent, say the serenity prayer, smoke a cig (bad, I know), and hug the kitty cats :) that last one always works!
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