an old friend found me on facebook

[Zoe Girl]

I have to say my facebook is pretty much shut down from an incident last spring with a friend. He ended up being unstable so I was one step ahead and shut it down, I hear his wife moved and was able to start over. That is beside the point. I am ready to restart it because I keep in touch with my cousins this way and some old friends. I also hear it is good for job searches although I don't understand that. I just don'[t friend my own children who use bad language. I am on guard against that particulur facebook angst that comes from thinking everyone else is doing all these awesome things. Most oif the time they just took a break to search for a laughing cat picture and are doing just as much housework on the weekend as anyone else. Meanwhile so many groups including my church don't send out emails or other contact because it is on facebook.

Sooo I got a friend request deal from a friend I had in elementary school. I moved away at 16 and some times we sent letters but pretty much that was it. We also ended up being very different people. So now she found me, very cool, and I checked out her page. She likes a Republican organization and Neimann marcus and some other things that look out of my price range entirely. Hmm, wonder how this will go? No matter what I need to add some photos.

[Diamond_]

You could add them, see how they're doing and how life has become for them. Knowing they are good. If you don't get along that well, you could still delete her or make sure she doesn't see any more of your updates. No harm done :)

[rosarugosa]

You can also choose how much or little you see in you newsfeed from each friend. Some of my friends post relentless streams of shares and videos, so I prefer to keep them out of my newsfeed, but I can visit their pages if I want.

[Tradd]

If you want to have a social media presence for job searches, LinkedIn is much more professional and without all of the personal hooha you get on FB.

[iris lily]

I am STILL angry (at the chick? at myself? at the situation?) about someone from high school tracking me down via email, not Facebook since I don't accept Friends there. Anyway, she is someone who I never liked though is not a bad person, but she quacked on and on about an upcoming high school event and then contacted me afterwards about it. ugh. She regurgitated old old stuff that I just am not interested in thinking about and it took awhile to go away. Then she proceeded to tell me how one of our high school classmates killed both of his parents and stuffed them down a well. triple ugh. I did not want to know that, I did not need to know that, it had happened in my home town fairly recently yet no one in my family felt compelled to pass on those awful images. Bitch.

I have a Facebook account under a nome de plume and yes that is against the TOS so sue me Marky Zuckerberg. I post very little on Facebook, use it mostly to keep up with Bulldog Rescue.

Well THAT was longwinded. Anyway OP: Don't bother to Friend her, there is no point to it.

[Tammy]

I, on the other hand, say yes to every friend request, and then don't post things if I don't want the whole world to know. It depends on how you view your Facebook page, I guess.

[Zoebird]

Always remember that in addition to your subscription (what's in your newsfeed) you can always unfriend someone. MOst people who have a lot of friends don't even notice. I did a facebook friends 'cull' recently that was quite nice. I got rid of about 50 people. Most of them were people whom I knew in jr high or high school. we have nothing in common, so there's really no reason to have them on my FB.

One of them I accidentally offended simply because I posted a breastfeeding article. I was like. . . riiiiiiiggggghhhht! time to cull!

So, I went through the whole list and was able to let go of a lot of people.

I also went through my subscription list, and had people pulled from my newsfeed. I sent them a note saying that I'm not seeing their news because of the political nature (both dems and reps), and that I would love to see other things, so go ahead and tag me if they want me to see it. :)

After a person ahs been off newsfeed for several months, I evaluate whether or not I want to cull them.

[Dhiana]

Yes, you can set up your fb page to ignore/delete those with a message you do not like.

BUT anytime I think about it I ask myself, "If I ignore or refuse to listen to anyone, why would they ever choose to listen to me?"
I really feel it can be dangerous for us to not listen to those around us. Specifically ignoring friends that choose to support a different party, shop differently than us, live differently than us, we will all become isolated to the point of extremism. Seeing/hearing about other points of view can help moderate our views, be moer understanding and respectful, see the greys in life and not just everything in black & white.

[iris lily]

Yes, you can set up your fb page to ignore/delete those with a message you do not like.

BUT anytime I think about it I ask myself, "If I ignore or refuse to listen to anyone, why would they ever choose to listen to me?"
I really feel it can be dangerous for us to not listen to those around us. Specifically ignoring friends that choose to support a different party, shop differently than us, live differently than us, we will all become isolated to the point of extremism. Seeing/hearing about other points of view can help moderate our views, be moer understanding and respectful, see the greys in life and not just everything in black & white.

That is a fair point of view, I agree with what you say.

But since FB isn't a main way of socializing for me on the web, I'll continue to have only a handful of FB friends. THIS website is my main way of web socializing and I have to put up with peggy et al that is HARD. >:(;)

[Zoe Girl]

I have no problem having friends with really different ideas on FB, I only shut it down because of an unstable person and i am very aware that any parent or principal could possibly see posts. I never quite trust the privacy settings and instead rely on my personal editing of what I post. I do however watch out for the obsessive posting in areas that are controversial. So even someone I agree with I may unfriend or put a limit on. I have one cousin who is a little unstable and most of us have unfriended at this point, just weird things more than daily.

I got a message from her that was nice, I also added my church and a meditation group on my likes. I do not want to assume that because she is different then she would have a problem with me. I will keep up with her. Our friendship really went dormant due to life being busy and all that, plus I realized I was doing all the reaching out so it is wonderful that she reached out to me this time.

[Zoebird]

Yes, you can set up your fb page to ignore/delete those with a message you do not like.

BUT anytime I think about it I ask myself, "If I ignore or refuse to listen to anyone, why would they ever choose to listen to me?"
I really feel it can be dangerous for us to not listen to those around us. Specifically ignoring friends that choose to support a different party, shop differently than us, live differently than us, we will all become isolated to the point of extremism. Seeing/hearing about other points of view can help moderate our views, be moer understanding and respectful, see the greys in life and not just everything in black & white.

For me, it's mostly "too much." I don't mind listening to people's interesting POV or interesting articles from the other side of what I might be considering.

But, in this particular season, I did not want to see page-after-page of ugly anti-obama or anti-romney or reps/dems are stupid for these reasons memes or rants. Some of that stuff is mean, not funny, and I don't want to see the negativity. I have no issue with their *politics* and every issue with meanness -- from both sides.

Secondarily, there are also times when other people's crap is too much for me. It's not that I don't love them, btu I can't take it. I find a lot of parenting methods to be mean. I would listen to these moms talk about how they treat their kids and get lauded for it, and after a while, I just can't read it anymore. So, I take a break from them. I might come back to them, or I might decide that I don't want to have them on my friend's list.

And, finally, there is a lot of family drama that happens on FB. Obviously, I culled my SIL due to drama she stirred up based on a comment that I made (in humor) on FB. But, my family isn't much better to be honest. There are two reasons why I pushed my sister and BIL off my feed for a while:

1. too much extremist republican stuff (ie, rush/o-reily styled stuff that would misconstrue facts, and I would always post the origins of those facts for context and a conservative, yet more moderate, position on those facts to lead to discussion, only to have them get angry and call me names, drag my parents in telling the that I was being mean, then they would chastise me before reading what i'd posted, then read it and say "well, they are sensitive." F that they are "sensitive." If they are so "sensitive" maybe they should get out o the kitchen.); and

2. family comparison games between my sister and I that run through the family dynamic. I just get tired of that crap, so I pull her.

So, I mostly avoid the drama as much as possible.

Then, when I feel that I've calmed downa nd I can handle certain things again, I'll bring them back onto the subscription.

[kitten]

This is so interesting to see how others use Facebook! I collect friends and enjoy having some "fans" (I have a public-facing job) as friends, and it's part of my brand to seem accessible. So kinda have to do it.

But when people get out of line, I start pruning. I had to de-friend a guy who started posting negative comments on a bunch of my photos. It was just pointless negative crap, intended to lash out at me - for what? I can't remember, I hardly ever communicate with the guy. When I blocked him, he sent me an email and complained about it. I explained that it was compromising to me to have someone heckling me on my Facebook page, which is part of my brand identity. He responded back with "Okay, I'll close my account now." I was like, wtf? What a weirdo!

I had a guy who was posting political stuff to my wall every day. This doesn't work either for me personally, or for the image I have to present as the face of my company. So - I think there's a way to prevent individuals from posting to your wall, but I couldn't find the controls for it. I just set my wall to be private, so I'm the only one who can post on there now.

Facebook has been mostly a good thing for me - I've reconnected with fun people and gotten a couple of clients from having my work posted there. I'd say use it for what you need it for, and control the elements you can.

[Zoebird]

We have a company FB page which has a specific tone and use. We post two-three times a week, at least one announcement and at least one humor piece, and usually either another one of either one of those.

I also have some clients and coworkers who are on my FB page. I keep most of my posts neutral, and mostly post the same sort of stuff that I would post on my company page, or things that I find interesting. The most extreme position that i hold and advocate is an anti-infant circumcision position, and I'll occasionally share new science on the matter (and how it affects both men and women ultimately). This mostly angers my sister (who chose to circ her son), but I told her she has to deal with the fact that I do not support that choice that she made and leave me out of it. I'm advocating to my whole community, and this past year 7 boys in my community have been born and remain in tact -- each family telling me that the decision was made *because* i posted that information. So boohoo Sis! LOL