View Full Version : things you thought you couldn't do without...
Hi there my simplicity-loving friends,
I've come to believe that there are two kinds of simplicity-lovers.. There are the 'natural' minimalists, who've always seen the wisdom of living without too mucho unnecessary junk, and then there are the 'recovering consumers', who have followed the road of overconsumption into a land of soaring debt and general chaos before realising that constantly aquiring new 'stuff' is an obstacle to, rather than a sources of, happiness... and I fall into the latter category! :|( I was a consumer monster for years! Anyway, some months ago I got rid of my cable - I'm so glad I did and looking back I realise how crazy it was that I found getting rid of it so hard - I really struggled with the decision for weeks on end! So I thought it would be fun to hear from others about the things you found it hard to part with, and whether or not you think you made the right decision. What was most difficult for you to 'give up'?
Hugs,
Lucas
Hi Lucas, glad you are feeling good about your "recovery!"
I've been living pretty simply for some time, but the most recent thing I've discovered I like living without is a dishwasher. Until 4 months ago I had one, but since moving, I do not, and frankly I don't miss it. I kind of like the routine and ritual of dishwashing now, and it gives me a good reason to indulge in some lovely hand lotions I'd just kind of closed away in a drawer!
Not only that! Now that the cold has set in for at least the next 6 months, that dishwater just feels good on my cold hands every night!
When I first moved into this apt., I thought to myself that the one downfall/possible dealbreaker was "no dishwasher." Now I don't care whether I have one or not.
This is a weird one but has been very liberating....toenail polish. For years I felt that if my toes were bare, they had to be polished. Got tired of the ritual and don't miss it one bit.
Simplemind
11-12-12, 6:09pm
DH just loved buying VHS and DVD copies of movies that we liked. There were hundreds "just in case we want to watch them". Storage became a problem and he stopped buying them and we sold all but a handful at a garage sale. Haven't missed them, nor have we watched the few he kept.
Sad Eyed Lady
11-12-12, 8:40pm
With encouragement I found here, one of my biggest "give ups" was fabric softener. A few years ago I never thought I could wash a load of laundry without using fabric softener, but after researching all the chemicals it contained, and then with others here telling me they were fabric softener free, I went cold turkey and never looked back. That was probably a year or so ago. As for simple living in general, I have been practicing that for many years. Of course, simple living means different things to different people, but as for me it was living below my means, not being influence by media/advertising, using less throw-away/disposable items, looking for alternative ways of doing something rather than "oh, just go out and purchase so and so", and the list goes on.
Blackdog Lin
11-12-12, 8:55pm
lucas - I am also a recovering Simple Life-er (and off-topic, LOVE your avatar, as I am also a huge Tigger fan.) For me, it was new clothes/Fashion - even though I'm not very fashionable. But it was a difficult journey for me, realizing I could - and needed to - do without new clothing articles all the time.
Along with training myself to hate shopping, I learned to ask myself "The Questions" when thinking about say, ordering something new online: (1) where would you wear this?; and (2) if you didn't have this to wear, do you have something suitable already in the closet? 95% of the time the answers to these two questions tell me I don't need to spend the money on the new clothes.
But sometimes a woman just wants something NEW, something DIFFERENT. So I added the strategy of using Goodwill - I've found that two trips a year will fulfill my jones'in to fill holes in my wardrobe. Two trips @ $20.00 each, vs. geesh, don't wanna go there on how much I spent before on new clothes.
It has definitely been the right decision - I was definitely wasting way too much money on new clothes that I didn't need. I feel good about it.
And welcome, lucas! Hope you stick around and enjoy our little community. This little community saved my financial life, many years ago.....
Tussiemussies
11-12-12, 10:45pm
Hi Lucas, This is a great thread, I'm reading along trying to think of which was the hardest....:)
I do not think that I am either of those choices. I do not consider myself to be any kind of minimalist, but I have never been a big consumer either. Just another area of life or whatever where I do not fit. Huge surprise.
pony mom
11-13-12, 12:48am
It's a silly little thing, but I gave up shampoo. Since I've been washing with baking soda and vinegar, it seems silly to use or buy shampoo. My hair looks just as nice without it.
About 17 or so years ago, I gave up eating beef and pork. The smell of a steak is still yummy and I really REALLY miss bbq baby back ribs, but I can live without them. Being a picky eater, it was hard for me to find other things to eat, which is why I still eat poultry (with some guilt).
This is a great thread. I am the 2nd type mentioned by the OP - recovering yuppie consumer. I have learned most of what I need to know from these forums (and the original one). I live pretty simply now, but the hardest thing I gave up this past summer was T.V. It was so hard, in fact, that I had my satellite restored. I decided that I really love T.V. There, I've said it. I LOVE T.V. I live alone and so I realized I was asking too much of myself to give it up. But I am selective: mostly PBS, Free Speech T.V., etc.
Like Kay said, I could do without a dishwasher. Maybe when mine bites the dust, I'll store things in it. I'll let you know...
I, too, am a recovering consumer. Do I miss the completely artificial ego trip I got from having expensive Italian and French clothes, and routine facials, massages, and manicures, a la "Oh, I am so worldly, Euro-chic, sophisticated and "obviously" (ha!) wealthy"? No. But I sure miss the results of how much better I looked when I had all that stuff!
Cheap clothes and cheap jewelry just look bad on me, no matter what I try. Some people can look absolutely fabulous in them, but I just can't. I look OK, but just...kind of blah. It kind of sucks, to be honest, and now that I can't depend on youthful looks and a hot body (which in retrospect I actually had at one time, but of course didn't realize it THEN) to compensate for cheap clothes, I really do need the extra help if I want to look well put-together.
Hello everyone!
Thanks for all your responses... it's a relief to know I'm not the only recovering yuppie consumer! Clothes were such an addiction for me... I can hardly bear to think how much money I wasted on clothes which, much of the time, I never even wore... I loved Blakdog Lin's comment about asking yourself 'is there something in your wardrobe already that would do the job?' (paraphrasing)... that made me laugh, because I would always go out and buy stuff that was very similar in style... I would buy things even though I probably had 10 items that were nearly the same at home... it's madness when I think about it, but then what has sanity got to do with out consumption-addicted world?... I'm still fairly new to the simplicy journey, but already I'm learning how my attachments to material things are just illusions - when I get rid of something, I generally don't miss it at all... for some reason there can be an awful lot of fear around letting go of things, but the fear is never a reflection of the reality that comes once I take the plunge!
I hope you're all keeping well... All the best to everyone!
ToomuchStuff
11-13-12, 3:10pm
I do not fit in either category, although I am closer to the later. I grew up straddling the tracks (knew both poor and well off people), and learned a long time ago to not go out and buy more then you could afford (so I didn't get into the debt that I keep hearing about).
What I did was to use stuff to substitute for people and relationships, and didn't really save money as I expected to be dead by 30 (by my own hand or someone else's I wasn't sure).
Now I have realized, how much that stuff owns me, timewise. I understand stuff, but still feel lost when it comes to people (know more then I ever thought I could, yet still feel out of place when I could be in a room full of them).
Blackdog Lin
11-14-12, 10:41am
Yeah lucas, what you said resonated with me: "learning how my attachments to material things are just illusions.....don't miss it at all". For us, it's been that kind of process/journey, learning how happy we can be without all the material things. Some things we tried to give up, we ended up missing, so kept them. But so so much of our materialism was just habit - we learned we could do-without, without missing those things at all.
I'm reminded of our old habit of "being too tired to cook tonight", so we'd go out or (more likely) order takout. After going through a 2-year period where we COULDN'T eat out (just no money to do so), we realized later that we were HAPPIER not eating takeout. We learned to have a couple of easy pantry meals always on hand (tuna casserole, salmon pattie sandwiches, chicken salad etc.) for those nights - and we realized that we were happier eating in even if it was just scrambled eggs and toast. We know what is in the food we're eating, we are saving money, and we can eat relaxing together in our jammies if we want. A win win. It was just one of our many bad consumerism habits that we learned we were better off without. Happier even, without.
Gardenarian
11-14-12, 6:05pm
Things we have given up:
*Processed foods (well, most)
*Tea (grow my own herbs)
*Paper prints of photographs
*Christmas shopping (except for dd)
*Wrapping paper (I made cloth wrapping bags years ago and just re-use these)
*Gym membership (walk, practice yoga, use barbells)
*Eating out
*Most movies (get DVDs from library now and then)
*Shopping as entertainment
*Minimized travel
*Paying for home maintenance (we are learning - gradually - how to repair and maintain everything ourselves.)
*Reduced home and car insurance
*School :) Homeschooling is so much easier and more fun (this surprises people, but it is true!)
and other things I can't remember at the moment...
When I worked in corporate, I just had to buy all the clothes, makeup, convenience foods, lunches out, gifts for everyone, a newer car, and of course the shopping all weekend to reward myself for working so hard all week!
I don't miss all that now...I buy clothes a couple of times a year, and we have cut down significantly on eating out and gifts. My car is over 5 years old and I will keep it forever! I also have steady clients over the weekend so shopping is out!
Wildflower
11-14-12, 11:37pm
Alot of clothes. I have a very small wardrobe now.
Too many pets. Loved them all so much, but will not replace them with more rescues after they pass.... Currently at 3 dogs and 3 very elderly cats, someday we will just have 1 to 2 pets max.
Fabric softner. Gave that up a few years ago. Don't miss it at all.
Cleaning products. Make my own now.
Excess of anything. I've gone minimalist on most everything from my home decor, to downsizing my garden, to less food/calories in my diet. I like to keep it simple these days...
catherine
11-14-12, 11:45pm
I have a hard time parting with documents and journals and everything related to the written word. I could live on 3 outfits, but I have a compulsion to keep utility bills from 1997. The only thing I feel really bad about having thrown out are a couple of years worth of Day-Timers where I had detailed notes about my kids' acting auditions.
I have little notebooks that I recorded my daily expenditures in from 1993. I have birthday cards from relatives that have been dead since 1969. I have notes passed to me in classes from high school friends.
Yet, what I THOUGHT I couldn't live without and am totally fine with are all the things that got ruined in basement floodings over the years: Old college papers, even old photographs. Just the other week, before Superstorm Sandy, I was preparing the basement for a possible flood and came across a photo album of my Junior Year Abroad that was ruined in the last flood. I have to admit, I was sad. It represents the only photos of that time of my life, and it was a great time. But--the last flood was Hurricane Irene, and I haven't looked for those pictures since then. My kids I'm sure don't care--we have thousands of other pictures. So, I've let it go. I have survived a few basement floods, have had to throw out tons of stuff, and you know what? I've survived!
try2bfrugal
11-15-12, 1:15am
We have cut back on many things in order to be able to not have to have long commute, corporate jobs any more. We haven't really missed much of anything. The extra free time is well worth it. I thought I would miss my dryer but the drying racks are actually easier because I don't have wait to leave the house until clothes are dry. We cut back on entertainment expenses quite a bit but actually go out more between Entertainment Book coupons, parks, clubs, Costco movie tickets, reciprocal museum memberships, free library passes and free park events. I have more time to search for free and discount activities now so we can have a full calendar of fun each month without spending hardly any money.
I think we are healthier for not eating as much processed and fast food and not eating out as much in general. I don't miss our old electric bills. We cut those in half just by doing relatively painless stuff like using the drying racks, more crock pot (low energy) cooking, turning stuff off, motion detector lights, more LED and CFL bulbs, and weather stripping. And we still have a lot of energy saving ideas that we haven't had a chance to implement yet. Overall we have been pleasantly surprised at how much we have been able to reduce our expenses while actually improving the quality of our lives.
DH and I thought we couldn't do without living in our whole (600 sf) house that can't be made warm in winter. We finally figured out changes we could make for free that have us living just in our bedroom and kitchen this winter. We will need much less heat this winter. Why it took us YEARS to figure this out I don't know, except this year I had two major motivations.
1. Trent Hamm's The Simple Dollar mention that to live well-enough after retirement, spend less each year getting there
2. If we live real cheap now, in mid-May 2013 our 2nd mortgage will be paid off and we'll have only the first one which we'll never have the money to pay off ($149,000 now) but it will be $800/month and I think whoever dies 2nd can probably handle that with SSI. We have a deadline--DH likely to retire in January 2014 so we want to do this paying-off while we still have his (part-time) income.
rosarugosa
11-17-12, 10:27pm
We've found that we can dine out a lot less - a whole lot less - and still have wonderful dining experiences at home, by using DH's cooking skills to the max. I add my ambiance skills - music - damask napkins - candlelight - and we save a lot of money on restaurants.
Laser_Cat
11-20-12, 2:34pm
This might sound weird to some but I used to have an extensive Role-Playing game book collection, everything from D&D to Vampire the Masquerade. It took me years of moving the books, thinking I could never part with my collection. I finally decided about a year or two ago that I wasn't in any groups anymore to play these games and that I didn't need 500+ RPG books sitting on my shelf that I wasn't using. So off to amazon they went and I can't say I've ever looked back. Most of the books are available digitally now and I actually funded a nice little vacation with the money from amazon. =)
AmeliaJane
11-20-12, 2:56pm
When I first moved, I used to shop at the fancy gourmet grocery store. It was as much entertainment as actual food shopping at a time when I was pretty bored, stressed and lonely. As I settled in and my routines changed, I found less expensive places to practice my hobby of experimenting with cooking. I was just back in that neighborhood on an errand and stopped for one of their amazing salads (which I had missed--still great). But as I walked through the store to the salad counter, I realized there wasn't anything else I wanted to buy!
Purchase power (in our home), has always been on the low scale of things, so I never reached a point of fantasizing over fancy modern things. Being able to do things cheaply, simply, and old-fashionedly, has always been high on my list, so really, when I think about it now (in retrospect), I can't come up with anything I thought I couldn't do without. Making do with, is me.
I have been thinking about this question a lot lately. But what I have found, upon much reflection, is that I actually don't really miss anything I got rid of when I became a minimalist. Though admittedly I might be what you call a natural minimalist. I have always preferred free time to "stuff."
I purged tons of archery equipment, guns, outdoor gear, clothing, household stuff, a few pieces of art, musical instruments, and thousands of photos. In the 1990s and early 2000s I was the historian of my group of friends, so I took pics at every party and camping trip and get-together, etc. I purged them all!
A month or so ago I purged something. And for about two weeks I regretted it. It weighed heavy on my mind. This had never happened before!
It weighed heavy on my mind for a couple weeks. Then I just forgot about it. A few weeks after that I remembered regretting purging something. But I'll be darned... I could not remember what I purged! It was then that I realized it really, really was not important and that all the fretting and regretting was for nothing. So in the end: No big deal!
p.s. I still can't recall what that item was! haha
UltraliteAngler: That is so funny that you recall the regret but not the item. It really couldn't have been too important!
freshstart
7-9-15, 12:07pm
my mom is terminally ill, but if we plan well, she can do our little independent film theater. My sharing my netflix list with her (it's filled with things all over the map), we discovered we actually like the same things, especially obscure documentaries about just about anything. So I started taking her to the indie theater, it was nice to have a late in life realization that we have more in common than I thought. I became ill and the last time we went was Dallas Buyers' Club, pretty sure that was a long time ago. We went maybe once a month or so. Then I got season tickets, 6 shows for $50 at our local rep company, it cost more to park, even though we both are struggling, we ARE going to these shows. As for the indie movie theater, there is plenty on Netflix to keep us entertained. I guess this thread is about what you don't miss and I ended up answering the wrong way, I miss it big time
Ithink it takes a while to adapt...cable tv was an easy declutter...the stuff on tv, with the exception of about 5 shows, is mostly junk. The news is biased these days and often not even real. A harder one was my toaster. Yes, I decluttered my toaster! Reason? Well, I would eventually like my possessions to be so portable that I can up and go wherever I want with all that I own. Not at this stage of my life... family is my first priority now..but I am preparing for living with very little. Guess what? After about six months, I didnt miss my toaster at all, and I sure wouldnt buy another one!
I was raised by a frugal parental unit although Dad did like to spend so Mom had to be frugal. DH was raised by consumers.....we followed their path. We didn't know they really couldn't afford what they had until we had so much debt we nearly went bankrupt. So much for good advice from parents right?
A new car every 3 years. Dad did that...so once I graduated from college, I did that. Back in 1991 I bought my last 3y cycle car unknowingly at the time. I drove it for 10y until I inherited DHs Hand-me-over, which I still drive at 16yo. He replaces his vehicle at 100k because we do a lot rural road travel to the mountains and want that for our sanity. (help is few and far between).
I'm currently debating the "weave" every 8 weeks. I've got a lot of grey coming in and haven't weaved since November. The debate in my head continues.
I get most of my clothes at goodwill or at Ross. My cap at Ross is $20. If it's more than that I require a really good reason. At goodwill I think top has been under $5.
I spend $ on my feet. Good shoes are a must-not up for discussion.
Life is good :cool:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.