View Full Version : Lucas' journal: a minimalist mission
Hello friends!
I've decided to follow fidgiegirl's good example by starting a journal. I think it will be a good way for me to keep track of my progress in simplifying my affairs and to share the lessons I learn along the way. I've really only started experimenting with minimalism recently, in the last few months, and already I'm seeing how much it can improve my life. Indeed just by making the habit of preparing my own food, rather than ordering in or eating out, I've saved a small fortune already! I've started to realise how wasteful I've been in my life up until now, as I've spent all my time in a state of 'constant consumption', forever grasping for more and wasting all my life energy (and money!) in the process...
More significantly, I've come to see that saving money is not even the most important aspect of embracing a more simple life. By constantly consuming I kept myself in a state of constant distraction, and as a result I was never really connected to the here and now, never really paying attention to what I was feeling or focussing on what was really important - like my loved-ones... This all probably sounds a bit 'well, duh!' to the more experienced members of this forum, but it's come as quite a shock to this little shopaholic!
Anyway, I sure am glad I found this community. I'm going to keep a record here of what I'm doing, and how I'm faring, in minimising my consumption and simpifying my life. I hope it won't be too boring! >8)
Al the best,
Lucas
minimalism and simplicity
Gardenarian
11-14-12, 5:42pm
Hi Lucas - looking forward to reading your accounts!
Tussiemussies
11-14-12, 5:48pm
Sounds like you know what direction you are headed in! :)
fidgiegirl
11-14-12, 7:28pm
Lucas, I very much look forward to reading more!
Howdy folks!
As I'm making my way into a more minamilist approach to life, I'm becoming more and more aware of just how much of a consumer I've been in the past... When you're caught up in the day-to-day grind of rushing to work and getting things done, it's all too easy to be completely unaware of just how much you are consuming - whether it be Thai take-out, new trainers or the latest 'chemically-enhanced´detergent.. Because I never really thought of myself as a consumer, I never paid attention to just how much of everything I using and accumulating... now that I'm starting to become more conscious - well - it's something of a rude awakening!... I realise that I really have been a 'constant consumer' for my entire adult life (I'm 38 now)...
One of the main things that steered me towards minimalism, and discovering this forum, was my interest in meditation. I got into mediation some years ago and, while I'm far from a 'master', I really enjoy the stillness that comes to my mind when I take time out to just be silent and focus on the moment... A few months ago I started to realise that 30 minutes of 'internal stillness' really didnt mean too much if the other 23-and-a-half hours of each day were a riotous frenzy of noise and greed, however, and so I began to take a look at my other lifestyle habits...
I'm still an 'absolute beginner' when it comes to minamilism and simplicity, but already I'm seeing that i was on autopilot for a long long time... now that I've started to take a few small steps, like not eating so much junk and getting rid of the most noticeably useless clutter around my home, I'm becoming aware of the insatiable craving that was driving all that consumption... when I choose not to eat that slice of pizza, or not to buy that gadget, I can feel that sense of craving that I used to alwas give in to without pause... in fact, acting on a whim to consume was so automatic for me that I didnt even realise there was a craving underneath it...
I think practising stillness, and being self-aware, is probably an important tool for someone who has been a 'spender-eater-waster' like me! Already I see how much more satisfying it is just stop and be conscious of what's going on inside me, rather than consuming more... it's still very new to me, and I expect I'll probably have some consumption-relapses along the way, but (if this doesn't sound too melodramatic), I really feel like my eyes are being opened to something really significant... I'm excited!!
Thanks for reading today's inane ramble!
fidgiegirl
11-15-12, 11:03pm
A few months ago I started to realise that 30 minutes of 'internal stillness' really didnt mean too much if the other 23-and-a-half hours of each day were a riotous frenzy of noise and greed, however, and so I began to take a look at my other lifestyle habits...
This really stood out for me. It's interesting how each step is a baby step . . . . you will be surprised on looking back at this journal in a few months or years where you were at.
lucas- I'm glad you are journaling here. I am an experienced minimalist, but I find the journey of awakening and mindfulness an exciting story every single time I encounter it. I look forward to your future entries.
I really like what you said here:
By constantly consuming I kept myself in a state of constant distraction, and as a result I was never really connected to the here and now, never really paying attention to what I was feeling or focussing on what was really important - like my loved-ones...
Hello my minimalist friends,
Thanks to everyone for your kind comments! It's really helpful to hear from people who have been walking the minimalist/simplicty path for a while, and to be reminded that this is a journey, not a destination. I have the kind of personality that is inclined to attempt to 'do everything immediately', but I know maintaining a long-term commitment means taking things one step at a time. I've started decluttering my apartment, but I think learning the habits of minimal consumption is the real key (in my case at least). There's no point throwing out everything I own if I'm only going to clutter up my home again immediately afterwards..
So I went out to an Indian restaurant last night, and had a nice meal with some old friends. It was cheap and tasty - which is always good - and I felt good about the expenditure afterwards. These last few weeks I've been avoiding eating out, and it's been exciting for me to see how much money I have saved as a result. Up until quite recently I was the typical example of a profligate male professional who orders take-out for almost every meal. While I'd generally ordered healthy food, I was haemorrhaging money, and studiously avoiding taking a proper look at my finances. I've also been taking a look at some of the other areas where I have wasteful habits, and it hasn't been too difficult to identify a few:
1. Printing - I'm going to do my best to minimise the amount of printing I do. The toner cartridges cost a fortune, and as I work in acadaemia I have the bad habit of often printing long documents at home. In future I should avoid printing any long documents - indeed, I might even go 'paperless'
2. Amazon - oh amazon, you are an evil temptress!! I shudder to think how much money I've wasted there, often on impulse buys that I never even used :doh: ... Time for us to say farewell methinks...
3. iTunes - maybe I'm the only person left who actually pays for music?.... hmmmm....
In the past, probably the biggest single focus of my 'shopaholism', however, was clothes... I've wasted a ton of money over the years on the insatiable pursuit of 'looking good'. It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I figure that if you're going to change your ways you've got to be straight about what it is you're trying to change... The really ironic thing about this area of spending, for me, is that an awful lot of the clothes I bought I'd never wear anyway... I think a lot of people have a certain number of items in their wardrobe that they really like and feel comfortable in, and these are the items they generally wear, while the rest of their wardrobe just sits there gathering dust... for this reason alone, it seems like my wardrobe is an obvious place to apply some minimalism and get rid of the unused clutter... hmmm.... Also, I think compulivesly buying clothes really reflects an unhealthy psychology - wasting money in order to 'look good' is somehow even sicker that wasting money in order to say, have an 'ideal home' or a 'great library'... it flows from a preoccupation, to some extent at least, with how you're perceived by others, and in that sense probably runs contrary to being authentic and true to yourself. In any case, I think the goal for me is to just have a limited wardrobe of a few good-quality, functional items that look ok and I feel comfortable in... Tomorrow I'm going to block off an hour or so to go through my wardrobe and ask myself what I 'need' and what I dont.. (I know I don't really 'need' most of it)... let's see how my insecurity/vanity copes with letting go of a few sacks of clothes!
Thanks for being here guys - I'm so so glad I found this forum!
All the best,
Lucas
EarthSky
11-17-12, 11:07am
Welcome to the forum, Lucas! It is a great group of supportive people, at all places on the minimalism journey. If you're focusing on minimizing clothes, here's a site for thought: http://theproject333.com/getting-started/
Good luck!
Meezer_Mom
11-17-12, 1:06pm
Music enhances life, so don't shortchange yourself. There are some sites that have free legal downloads, but if you can only find something you want on iTunes, buy it! The artists deserve to be paid for their work just as you are for yours.
Purrrz!
Tussiemussies
11-17-12, 1:40pm
Enjoying reading your thread, you have a lot of good insights! :)
try2bfrugal
11-17-12, 2:04pm
1. Printing - I'm going to do my best to minimise the amount of printing I do. The toner cartridges cost a fortune, and as I work in acadaemia I have the bad habit of often printing long documents at home. In future I should avoid printing any long documents - indeed, I might even go 'paperless'
2. Amazon - oh amazon, you are an evil temptress!! I shudder to think how much money I've wasted there, often on impulse buys that I never even used :doh: ... Time for us to say farewell methinks...
3. iTunes - maybe I'm the only person left who actually pays for music?.... hmmmm....
I buy generic ink cartridges from Amazon for $2 and then get recycle rewards at a big box office store for $2 each. Then I used the rewards points to buy staples like toilet paper or computer paper, on sale combined with some coupon like a $5 off a $25 purchase.
I actually do pay for music and videos on iTunes. I think that is cheap enjoyment. I use my iPod every day. If you watch the grocery store ads and watch the Coinstar specials you can often get iTunes gift cards at a discount, especially this time of year. If you have a Discover card you can get 5% off going through their Shop Discover site. If you have a cash back credit card (especially one with a high grocery cash back amount) you can buy iTunes gift cards at the grocery store and get a discount that way.
On the Amazon front - I love gadgets from Amazon. I just buy stuff with a high payback like rechargeable batteries, LED lights and a solar battery charger.
fidgiegirl
11-17-12, 2:22pm
Also, I think compulivesly buying clothes really reflects an unhealthy psychology - wasting money in order to 'look good' is somehow even sicker that wasting money in order to say, have an 'ideal home' or a 'great library'... it flows from a preoccupation, to some extent at least, with how you're perceived by others, and in that sense probably runs contrary to being authentic and true to yourself.
How very true. I found I had to confront this a few years ago when paring down my books. Having a lot of books didn't make me an academic, or smarter - it just made me a person with a lot of books!
I am thinking about getting rid of our printer. We went for a looooooooong time with no printer, just printed very sparingly at work if absolutely required or going to Kinkos if a bigger job (like Xmas letters), and then bought one (hmmm, why?), and we chose a Kodak because of the "low" cartridge cost, but that sucker never wants to work right, and it feels like we are buying cartridges more often than we would like, and we're pretty mindful about printing. We do write the date on our cartridges so we actually know how long they last, and it's about 3-4 months (black is $10 each for Kodak). But DH prints his eBay shipping labels at home, which is definitely not something we'd print out at work, and it has saved us a TON of time running to the post office. So now we're reluctant to let a printer go, but I was thinking if I could get a cheap laser printer on Craigslist the toner would last a LOT longer and we rarely need color printing, anyway. Some of the toner cartridges are not very much money, or at least not that much more than laserjet cartridges.
Amazon - do you have "one click" turned on, or a Prime subscription? If so, turning those off might help with the impulsive buying. But to be honest, we order quite a bit on Amazon, because the prices are so good. But we try to be mindful about it. Not always easy.
fidgiegirl
11-17-12, 2:23pm
I buy generic ink cartridges from Amazon for $2 and then get recycle rewards at a big box office store for $2 each. Then I used the rewards points to buy staples like toilet paper or computer paper, on sale combined with some coupon like a $5 off a $25 purchase.
try2bfrugal, what brand is your printer?
try2bfrugal
11-17-12, 3:14pm
try2bfrugal, what brand is your printer?
We use Canon printers.
Hello friends,
Thanks everyone for your comments and thoughts, and for your ideas about reducing my 'printer bill' - much appreciated! I also really appreciate Earthsky pointing me towards Project333. I knew of Courtney Caver's blog already, but I had no idea she also had a specific Wardrobe-themed initiative going. I've signed up already! The idea of having an overall limit on the number of items in one's wardrobe is great. Some time ago I attempted something similar myself, but in hindsignt it was too detailed. I had very specific 'quotas', ie: X number of jeans, X number of white shirts, X number of t-shirts etc etc.... and in the end monitoring and maintaining it was too unwieldy and became a pain the neck.. (I had even set a specific limit on the number of pairs of socks!). I think any successful project is much more likely to succeed if it is fun, so making minimalism fun (and manageable) is the best way to go...
So I reckon I'm going to adapt Courteney Carver's approach a bit for my purposes. Like she suggests I'm excluding workout gear and underwear from the 'ledger', but I'm also going to keep t-shirts out as well. I just have a stack of black t-shirts, which is all I ever wear as a 'base layer'. (It was funny to realise that there was one area where I was already 'kinda' minimalist. No big selection of different or interesting t-shirts - just a bunch all the same - though there were clearly more than I needed!.)
After some major culling, including several pairs of jeans and trousers and some jackets, I now have 46 items in my wardrobe (excluding t-shirts, underwear and workout gear). This probably doesn't sound staggeringly spartan, but it's about half of what was there before! I'm going to try to reduce this to 40, and then see if I want to take it further. So right now my 'clothing ledger' looks like this:
Lucas' 'clothes line': 46 items
8 pairs of jeans (could lose a few pairs here, methinks!)
4 pairs of trousers
7 shirts
5 hoodies
11 tops/sweaters
3 pairs shoes (1 X boots, 1 X trainers, 1 X 'smart' shoes)
8 jackets/coats (clearly still more than I need here!)
Anyway, today I literally decimated my wardrobe. Now that it looks a bit less chaotic and overflowing, it also seems a lot more managable. Whereas in the past setting limits on my wardrobe seemed too hard, because keeping track of everything just seemed like such a headache, now that it's somewhat reduced I can see that it actually won't be so difficult to monitor how much is there. I guess the more minimalist your life gets, the easier it becomes to keep it that way. (That should have been obvious to me, of course, but I'm a slow learner! :doh:) Another interesting (and slightly scary) thing I realised was that there were quite a few items I bought and literally never wore once. I just bought them, brought them home and put them in the wardrobe, where the collected dust until today, when I put them in a sack to donate to goodwill. That really sums up the madness of our compuslive consomption age. I could also see how I'm still infected by the 'consumer virus' in my discomfort at letting go of some items, even though I never wore them. Once they are given to goodwill, at least someone somewhere will put them to use, but it was interesting (albeit unsettling) to realise there's a part of me that wants to hold on to them even though I know I'll probably never wear them. That, I think, is the epitome of a 'possession' mentality, and what underpins it is the scarcity mentality that drives so much of unnecessary consumption (in my case at least)... well, that's enough of my ranting! let's see if I can't bring myself to get that number down to 40!. Thanks for reading.
Hugs,
Lucas
SteveinMN
11-18-12, 5:37pm
I could also see how I'm still infected by the 'consumer virus' in my discomfort at letting go of some items, even though I never wore them. Once they are given to goodwill, at least someone somewhere will put them to use, but it was interesting (albeit unsettling) to realise there's a part of me that wants to hold on to them even though I know I'll probably never wear them. That, I think, is the epitome of a 'possession' mentality
Or was that feeling the remorse of having "wasted" time shopping and money spent buying something you never used?
For me, letting go of "I'll fit into that someday" or "I had one and threw it out and needed one; I'd better not toss this one" is a major speed bump to minimalizing. I'm not attached to too many objects. But I can easily get hung up on an item's perceived future value.
try2bfrugal
11-18-12, 8:49pm
On the Amazon front, I think if you have a budget and stick to it then problem solved. If you have money in your budget for gadgets or whatever kinds of stuff you like to buy from Amazon, or have money saved from not spending some other category, then you get to buy stuff guilt free. Otherwise you have to wait until you have enough money budgeted.
I put a lot of stuff in my cart at Amazon and use the save for later option. Then I move it to the cart and buy it when I have extra in the budget or sometimes when there is a big price drop. Some stuff like energy saving light bulbs, power strips and drying racks (to not have to use an electric dryer) can save more money than they cost in a relatively short period of time.
Great work Lucas!
I was able to start letting go of my clothes about 5 years ago...and I had a lot of categories...high school, in different sizes, office, play, going out, frumpy. UGH! I gave away bags and bags of stuff and it was so liberating.
I have to be very careful nowadays because those tendencies still creep up! I only keep the current size and I refuse to buy any bigger clothes so when I start to feel things getting a bit tight, I have to hit the gym!
Thanks guys for your thoughts and input...
Stevie, I really identify with the thoughts of "I had one and threw it out and needed one; I'd better not toss this one" - I've been working on that. I've had the experience of tossing something then 'pining' for it the next day, but within a couple of days it's completely forgotten and I could care less, so I'm trying to remain conscious of that fact...
And Citrine, thanks for your comment, which made me laugh! I've always been pretty slim, but just this year a bit of a belly started to appear , so I'm working on getting rid of it by.... drumroll please... eating less!
fidgiegirl
11-19-12, 4:12pm
Lucas, interesting about the "pining." I dug a few layers deep into the link EarthSky provided, and that author is a big fan of packing up what you aren't sure about for 30 days, then if you haven't needed to open the box, donating it sight unseen. I thought it would be a good idea for me and DH.
Hello friends,
So it's after 11pm where I am, and I'm just now finishing work.... uyyyyyy.... I am not designed to be a workaholic, but from time to time, work seems to require that I pretend to be one... thankfully it's not like this all the time... Anyway, I finally got rid of the big sack of 'purged' clothes from my wardrobe today... I haven't had a chance to take it to the 'used clothes pick-up point' before now, but I knew I needed to get out of the house for at least 15 minutes, so I took the opportunity to grab the sack and walk to the spot where I thought the container for depositing old clothes was.... it was definitely in that spot a few months back! As you may have gathered I walked some distance (with a surprisingly heavy sack of clothes in my arms) only to discover that the container had been removed..:doh:. and so began a little odyssey around my neigbourhood looking for the damn thing! In the end I happened upon a charity that takes in old clothes, but needless to say their office was shut for the evening... so I left the sack on the porch and hopefully it will be found in the morning... I figure that if anyone takes it away, well, they obviously needed the clothes more than I did anyway... and carrying the damn sack all the way back home again was just too much distress!
I'm now going to have a quiet cup of tea and collapse into my pit... ahum, bed.... Do any of you guys ever find that the universe 'tests' your minimalist efforts like this? I guess anything worth doing is worth doing even if it's a bit difficult from time to time... I hope you're all keeping well..
All the best,
Lucas
fidgiegirl
11-21-12, 7:53pm
Argh! Hate it when stuff like that happens!
SteveinMN
11-21-12, 11:00pm
[QUOTE=lucas;114174]Do any of you guys ever find that the universe 'tests' your minimalist efforts like this?/QUOTE]
"What you resist, persists." Yes, the Universe is doing this to you to as a test. Fortunately, we don't have to get a 100 on the test to pass.
Happy Thanksgiving, Lucas.
Good morning friends,
Black Friday! Yuk! I have to confess that today I feel glad that I am not in the US. I currently live in Spain (I'm from Ireland orginally), but I will be decamping to New York - the global mecca of consumerism - at the end of December as I work for human rights organization that's based there and they've asked me to 'come back to the mothership'. My girlfriend is from Florida, and she has been regaling me with stories of her family's 'Black Friday extravaganzas' (which she found unbearable but her mother and sisters loved). It sounds pretty awful. I was reminded of a Colombian friend, who also works in human rights, who some years ago spent a few weeks meeting members of Congress to explain the potential dangers of the free trade agreement for vulnerable people in Colombia (rising costs of food and medications etc). She told me that she spent an hour standing in Times Square staring at the huge billboards and feeling awestruck by the sheer scale of the effort to 'sell, sell. sell'. For the first time, she explained, she felt a new understanding of the imbalances in international relations - it was a bit like 'if people in the North are that obsessed with consuming, no wonder the world is out of balance'. Of course, Times Square can hardly be taken as representative of Western society (thank god!) - and economic relations between countries are not a zero-sum game - but it's interesting to see how the advertisements of Times Square impacted someone involved in fighting poverty in a middle-income country (not even a poor country!)...
Oh, and thanks to Stevie for your feedback. It's good to be reminded that minimalism isn't a test I need to 'ace'. And by the way, I was reading some of the threads in the Public Policy section, and your posts bring some welcome reasonableness. (I've been restraining myself from engaging too much in the Public Policy section, as it would be all too easy for me to get drawn into a row)
Thanks guys!
Lucas
fidgiegirl
11-23-12, 11:53am
Yes, it's pretty disgusting to me, too. We are actively resisting, yet the siren call still threatens to seduce us . . . we saw some coupons at our fave outdoor store and almost planned a trip before stopping to think that there is nothing we need, not even at a discount, from that store!
When you say "decamp," do you mean moving or visiting?
Hope you enjoy New York! It is a great place to live and you can do so frugally if you are mindful about things, which it sounds like you are. Do you know where you will be living yet? We used to live in Jackson Heights, which is a neighborhood I highly recommend. Great mixture of ethnic restaurants and grocery stores (we would regularly hit the Indian, Chinese and Latin American grocery stores on a weekend stock-up shop) and nice old housing stock (much of the neighborhood is a historic district). Prices have gone up for housing since we lived there, but it is still reasonable compared to other places near Manhattan.
lhamo
Meezer_Mom
11-25-12, 3:08am
Fascinating background and perspective. As an IR/policy person myself, I get it.
Besides sell, sell, sell, we Americans also tend to pay premium prices for things once touched or owned by celebrities du jour, some of whom do nothing requiring artistic talent. It's quite fascinating, really. I live in Hollywood and once worked at an auction house. Many stories of people practically selling their souls to hell to afford a piece of "magic."
Anyway, looking forward to your posts.
flowerseverywhere
11-25-12, 10:01am
Many of us in the US did not visit one store or buy one thing online during this black friday season.
Time with family, hobbies, enjoying nature, cooking, exercising, reading, meditating etc. were wonderful ways to spend the holidays.
The media tries to brainwash us into thinking everybody is out shopping and accumulating- it just isn't so.
Howdy folks,
Well, it's been a few days since my last post. I hope you all had a nice thanksgiving. And a special thank you to lhamo for your encouragement on my pending move to the Big Apple... Things have been pretty hectic around here the last few days, as work and the logistic preparations for the move are proving pretty demanding... it's exciting though!
I have to confess one aspect of my minamilist ethics has gone out the window recently! My commitment to draw a line under the consumption of junk food has been junked... a real pepperidge farm freakout has been unfolding! And Ben and Jerry were both in on the party too! Oh well, practise makes perfect I guess, and as several people have told me, there are bound to be occasional slips back into 'old behaviors'.... Tomorrow is another day! When it comes to making my diet simpler and healthier, one thing I have to get the hang of is eating what's right for me despite there being junk in the refrigerator. In the past, my way of cutting out sugar or other junk has always been to just get rid of anything that's int he house. Now that I'm living with my girlfriend, however, I have to accept that I can't dictate 'refrigerator terms' all the time. My girlfriend actually eats a very healthy diet, but she occasionally buys a packet of chocolate cookies and, when she does, I eat them all before she can get to them! It's all a learning curve, though... I'll get there!
In the meantime I'm about to start packing up my stuff, which should provide a fantastic opportunity for some major decluttering... here goes nothing! (better said, here goes plenty!)
ALl the best,
Lucas
2. Amazon - oh amazon, you are an evil temptress!! I shudder to think how much money I've wasted there, often on impulse buys that I never even used :doh: ... Time for us to say farewell methinks...
3. iTunes - maybe I'm the only person left who actually pays for music?.... hmmmm....
Lucas, I was looking over the number of songs that my 15 year old downloaded from Amazon and realized he'd spent over $400 on music over the last two years. Oh.My.Word. we had a serious talk about that. He is also a clothes horse (GQ wannabe) but thankfully has created his wardrobe mostly from thriftstores and gift money. I may ask him to read your journal entries.
He is also a clothes horse (GQ wannabe) but thankfully has created his wardrobe mostly from thriftstores and gift money. I may ask him to read your journal entries.
Thanks floaton... Hopefully I'm getting better, but I'd have to confess that I have been a mind-blowing, earth-shattering GQ wannabe for much of my life! I've been reducing my wardrobe the last few weeks - tons and tons of stuff has gone to goodwill, and awful lot of it having never been worn.... I shudder to think how much money I've blown over the years... and given that I work in the non-profit sector I don't exactly earn the megabucks needed to pay for those expensive tastes... all done 'visa visa' as an aunt of mine used to love saying...
Taking inspiration from the Project333 'simplify your wardrobe' plan, Ive decided to limit my wardrobe (with the exception of underwear and t-shirts) to 40 items... The first 'cull' brought it down from about 170 to 50, and then the second from 50 to 43... I'm now working out which will be the last 3 items to go so I can reach my target... after that, any new purchase means getting rid of something else... As I'm sure people who are further along the minimalist road than me already know, there's a great sense of freedom in finally letting so much unnecessary stuff out of my life... why was I hanging on to it anyway? Foolish material attachments... Thank goodness for this forum!
Hugs,
Lucas
Hello my SLF comrades,
Sometimes you learn from successes, and sometimes you learn from failures... and other times, you just have old lessons reaffirmed by finding yourself back in the same of situation... Today was a testament to the foolishness of an overcomplex life - I spent several hours chasing someone around that I was supposed to interview, only to be told that the interview couldn't take place, and then spent the latter half of the day sitting in a meeting to which I had nothing to contribute, as it was deemed 'politically necessary' for me to attend... so, an entire day of nothing achieved and much running in circles... oh well, some days you just have to shrug, smile and start again tomorrow... Funnily enough, I wasn't too stressed or bothered by the whole experience, however... normally I'd have a pounding stress headache by the end of a day like today, but not this time... hmmmm.... maybe simplifying other areas of my life is having and impact....
On a more serious note, I have been learning that when you live with a partner some areas of simplification require a certain amount of negotiation... when I announced some time ago that I wanted to get rid of the TV my girlfriend was all for it... I had the cable disconnected, but we still watched the occasional show by connecting a computer to the TV... now that I've raised actually getting rid of the television altogether, my partner has said she wants to keep it... hmmmm.... I'm not sure how this will progress, but I'm sure we can find a compromise... I wonder has anyone else here experience 'tv conflicts of interest' in their homestead??
Anyway, I hope you're all keeping well... it's time for this little bear to turn in for the night..
All the best,
Lucas
rosarugosa
12-1-12, 11:58am
Hey Lucas, As far as the TV thing goes, for us it was simple. We kept it in deference to DH's preference. We no longer have cable, so it isn't costing us anything but a bit of electricity, and it's an oldie, probably cost us $200. fifteen years ago. So I can't really say it's detracting from my life in any significant way; I just don't watch it.
fidgiegirl
12-1-12, 2:26pm
We also went through the TV "negotiation." It took a long time to get rid of DirecTV - actually, it took a move as DH had had it for about 10 years and liked the sports and some other shows. But when we moved he was finally game, especially since we'd had a TV in our basement with rabbit ears/converter box for over-the-air signal and so he knew it was of fine quality. Since we moved he's maybe watched 10 hours of TV, mostly NFL. It took us four months to even set the thing up. I don't spend any time in the TV room partly because we only have one chair in there! Much like rosa, I don't really care if it's there, but I don't watch it.
Howdy folks,
It's been a tricky couple of days in 'chez Lucas'... only a few days to go before I am due to quit my apartment and there is some major decluttering going on... I've been living in Madrid for over 10 years and, although I've gotten rid of boxes and boxes of crap already over the past few weeks, the imminent move is forcing me to delve deeper into the back of those wardrobes and cabinets and haul out all the useless junk that has been festering there for the past few years... amazing how much stuff I had forgotten I even owned! next Thursday I will transfer the furniture and other bits and bobs I've decided to keep into a truck and haul them 700 kilometers down to Tarifa, at the southernmost point of Spain... Thankfully I have a friend down there with plenty of extra storage space who has offered to hold onto my possessions for free - otherwise I'd be looking at a new era of direct debit bondage to a storage company...
Saying farewell to my life in Spain, after more than a decade, is a saddening experience however... they say you don't know what you've got until it's gone - I might alter that old refrain to say 'you don't know what you've got until you're about to leve it behind'... Starting a new life in New York is exciting, however, and i'm sure I'll be back to Spain one day... (much as I love the Big Apple - I can't see myself living there forever - wayyyy to hectic!)...
If any of you ever find yourself visiting Spain, I highly recommend a trip to the south coast... Barcelona tends to be the main attraction in Spain for foreign visitors, but Sevilla and Cadiz are beautiful cities too, and much more friendly... Tarifa, which lies just about an hour's drive east of Cadiz, has a kind of micro-climate, as it is at the point of the peninsula which forms a sort of natural gate between the Atlantic and the Mediterranean - as a result it's windy through most of the year, and has become a kind of mecca for surfers and windsurfers.... You can also see the African coast clearly to the south, which is cool... you're close enough to see trucks moving along Morrocco's coast road with the naked eye...
It will be interesting to see how my minimising endeavors will translate to life in new York... I'll surely have to keep an even closer grip on my finances, as NY is a whole lot more expensive than Madrid... enjoying time outdoors will also be somewhat less attractive in the New York winter.... brrrrrrrrr!!!! Hopefully I can meet up with some fellow-minimalists in New York, though - which will be fun!... Anyooo.. time to get back to packing those boxes!
Hugs,
Lucas
Hi there my minimalist friends!
48 hours left in my apartment. All the furniture has been taken apart, and sits leaning against the walls of the sitting room ready for the big removal on Thursday night... packing everything up and going through the decluttering process has been both liberating and a little uncomfortable... I had hoped to sell off a few of the appliances, but with only two days to go and a mountain of work to get through, I suspect I won't have the time... it looks like the next tenant in this property will be receiving a few electronic goodies free of charge...
It's proving to be an expensive endeavor though... I don't know whether anyone here has had the pleasure of a transatlantic move, but it's expensive... I've opted to put my furniture in storage, but just sending four large boxes to the US by mail came in at €600.... ouch! The combination of moving chaos and workload has also made it difficult to prepare food at home, so I've been ordering in the last few nights... more expense!
I just need to be grateful that I can even afford to send my belongings to NY, and that I have been given this opportunity to work stateside... life is good today, but I have to remember that not having my usual routine can all too easily turn into a whirlwind of piggery and wastefulness... I am prone to 'letting myself go', in both the dietary and financial departments, when I'm removed from my usual settings and schedule...
hugs,
Lucas
As always, I love to read other's way of changing for the better or just changing how they handle life in gereral. SO post away :)
Hi there my simple-living friends!
Well the season of consumer-onslaught is truly upon us... I'm back in my hometown of Dublin for a few days, before returning to Madrid on the 26th and making my big move to the US on the 29th... being away from home is a challenge for me when it comes to limiting spending, as there's always that temptation to 'loosen the reins' - when catching up with old friends I also feel the social pressure to 'pick up the tab' more than perhaps I should. Nonetheless, my week-on-week spending has remained much lower than it was before I found this forum, and it's a relief to feel like I'm finally getting on track financially... less waste, less spending, less stress...
I having dinner with my father and his partner, along with my two sisters and their various children this evening.. this should be a challenge! It's always interesting to see the power of social convention in effect... although my family are all left-wing atheists (I'm the only one who doesn't consider themself an atheist), and are also very anti-consumerist and staunchly left wing in their politics, they still go out and blow tons of cash on gifts that will all probably wind up gathering dust... when you see that, even despite being consciously opposed to consumerism and even christianity itself, the idea of not taking part in the 'christmas frenzy' would require such a deliberate and proactive decision and action that it never really seems to be an option... to reject all the insanity, you have to be prepared to take a deliberate stand against all that is going on around you and be vigorously independent in the face of being judged a 'scrooge'... social norms are powerful - at this time of year it really is very evident that the political aspects of minimalism - creating a less materialistic society - face truly monumental challenges...
For me, I enjoy the fact that the ordinary routine of work and 'production' stops for a few days, even if it is only to make way for a 'perfect shopping storm'... It would be nice if we could all just stop for a week, and really stop instead of spending ourselves numb...
Anyway, I hope you're all doing well and enjoying yourselves...
All the best,
Lucas
I'm late to reading your journal Lucas, but I am really enjoying it! You write well and I look forward to reading more when you get to NY.
Christmas is a bit like teenage sex - you spend forever building up to it, the excitement and anticipation makes it seem as if nothing else in life mattered, and then when it finally happens it's all over in a moment and you're left feeling rather underimpressed...
lol lucas.
I had a great minimalist christmas -- no gifts for me! yay! DS got the gifts he wanted (wooden sword; books); DH got the gifts that he wanted (a couple of books, new camera), and I got what I wanted!
We went to the beach and had a beautiful afternoon with friends. Made some decorations (paper phoenixes), and that was that. :) keeping it simple! :D
Nice job Zoebird! I'm going to follow your good example next year... ;)
Hello there my simplicity-loving friends!
Well, the grand city of New York is now one person larger... two actually, counting my girlfriend... It's nice to discover that New York is cheap... not!... I knew NY was an expensive city, but it's not until you start shelling out the cash for various 'arrival expenses' that the fiscal pain becomes a reality... I'm just getting settled in, staying in a place in Brooklyn which I found on airbnb... I manged to incur a bunch of extra costs on the way over thanks to my misguided sense of lucas-exceptionalism... I brought my bicycle with me, and even though I knew you're supposed to take off the pedals and generally take it apart and box it up, but for some reason I though if I was just really sweet at the check-in desk they might just throw it in the cargo hold without all that hassle... my own capacity for foolishness amazes me sometimes... so after extensive negotiations, some improvised spanner-work in the airport, I managed to get it on, but not before paying an extra $100.... needless to say, as soon as I got to JFK I discovered that I couldn't fit the damn thing in a taxi, and so I wound up paying another $100 for a van to take me to the apartment... this bike better serve me well over the year ahead!
Another little challenge over the coming weeks will being taken in by the mischief my inner consumer gets up to... there's a voice in my head which will tell me I can just spurge a bit and put it down to 'start up costs', because I've just arrived in a new place... my 'inner shopper' can be a devious little fella and he hell-bent on making me buy stuff I don't need... today he has been saying I need a new North Face coat, because New York is so bloody freezing... and yes indeed, New York is bloody freezing... unfathomably freezing in fact... but the old Eastpak parka I have is perfectly capable of keeping the chills at bay until the Spring arrives... Hush yourself inner consumer!
hugs,
Lucas...
SteveinMN
12-31-12, 1:46pm
today he has been saying I need a new North Face coat, because New York is so bloody freezing... and yes indeed, New York is bloody freezing... unfathomably freezing in fact... but the old Eastpak parka I have is perfectly capable of keeping the chills at bay until the Spring arrives
I used to live on Long Island, so I'm familiar with "East Coast" cold. I have to say I am far warmer in Minnesota. It is much drier here; I found the humidity on the East Coast just went right through the same coat that worked well for me in Minnesota.
Wear layers. Winter in New York will be over soon!
I have always wanted to visit NYC. Although I am definitely a country person, a part of me wonders what it would be like to live in a big city. I look forward to your posts!
My best friend and his husband moved to NY a year ago fall. It is expensive - they post the most wonderful photos of their restaurant meals and their 34th floor apartment near the river (what a view). They love it. Hope it quickly becomes 'home' to you.
My son and new DIL moved to Manhattan in September for their new, just out of grad school jobs. They are still reeling from the expenses. Salaries are higher too but I don't think it is going to even out. However, there is no reason to have an "entertainment" budget when all you have to do is take a walk to see all sorts of interesting things!
Good luck, Lucas. Best wishes on quieting the inner consumer. I know that voice well.
I'm in Manhattan. Yes, NYC is expensive, but there are also so many ways to live minimally that I think you'll thrive. Best wishes in your new home in the new year!
Hi there friends... and thanks so much to stevie, sparrow, leslieann, floaton, and bootsie fo ryour kind words of encouragement... I'm now ensconced in Brooklyn, and gradually getting the hang of New York life... I've totally allowed simple living to give way to ease-of-convenience spending the last few days... :doh:... aaaagh! Moving to a new place inevitably brings some unforeseen expenses, but there have been way to many meals out the last few days... As I return to the forum I feel a bit sheepish - like an alocholic returning to an AA meeting after a major relapse...
The good news is that I have detailed records of all my spending over the course of 2012, so this year I'm going to set clear targets for keeping that spending down... a few people have pointed out that, rent aside, its perfectly possible to live in a minimal fashion in the Big Apple... the rent, however, is murder...:0!... I-ve been looking for one-bedroom apartments for me and my fiancees in Brooklyn and its pretty much impossible to find anything decent for under $2000 a month... and that's just for a small 500 square foot affair... eeeeek! Coincidentally, thats the same amount my old friend in tarifa in the south of Spain pays each month for his home... his place is a four-bedroom palace with a half-acre of garden and a fully self-contained separate apartment for guests, not to mention underfloor heating, and delicious swimming pool and a veranda with views over the Mediterannean and out to the coast of North Africa... there's market forces for you! Roll on 2013!!
Anyway, here's to getting on track for very simple and very happy 2013! I hope you're all keeping well wherever you are!
Hugs,
Lucas
hello friends,
Here I am, sitting in a little room in Brooklyn, enjoying the sights and sounds of New York and marvelling at the incredible amount of 'choice' you have in this city... By 'choice' I mean, the freedom to choose between 500 different types of breakfast cereal, just as many kinds of mobile phone, and god knows how many varieties of everything else... after a decade of living in Spain, the sheer intensity of consumption that characterizes the Big Apple comes as a bit of a shock... I can't claim to be 'above and beyond' all this, though, as my inner-shopaholic has been screaming for some attention... my anxiety over the enormity of the 'set-up' costs here is keeping the worst (but not all) of my consumer impulses at bay...
Since I joined the SLF I've come to realize that getting rid of all the old clutter is really just the easy part of adopting a more simple life... for me the real challenge comes in learning to live a 'low-consumption' lifestyle... so, taking inspiration from the 'no buy' thread, I've also been thinking about how t set a 'bottom line'... i have a friend who goes to overeaters anonymous and she explained to me the importance of setting 'bottom lines' in that program... this means the basic boundary by which they judge whether they've been 'abstinent' on any given day... in Alcoholics Anonymous is relatively simple, you see, as members simply quit alcholo altogether... for people with food issues it's a bit more complicated, however, as they can't just quit eating! So each member has to work out a 'bottom line' for themselves... this could be anything from 'no sweets', to 'only wholefoods' or my friend's bottom line ' nothing that thinks it's a dessert'!
I think learning to live a low-consumption poses a similar challenge... how do we set the 'bottom line' about what we consume/buy and what we don't... No doubt this ibottom line' would change with time, and experience, but I'm thinking I'm gonna try and set myself a challenge of 'only spending on unprepared foods' (so no shopping, and also no restaurants or packaged/junk food)... if other people can manage to not spend at all on many days, I'm thinking this has to be feasible approach to minimizing my spending... let's see how it goes!
Hugs,
Luke
fidgiegirl
1-17-13, 8:44pm
Lucas, I like the idea of the "bottom line." I hope to think about how I can incorporate this more, too.
Start a challenge thread! Or, actually, there is a cook-at-home ongoing thread. . . .
Whew! I am finally into my new apartment... and thank goodness for that! After one month living in a less-than-ideal short-term rental (I fell victim to a 'bait and switch' on airbnb), I have found an apartment and moved in... it's a nice place and, right now, it's the very essence of simplicity... by that I mean it has zero furniture... myself and fiancée bought a mattress and some friends gave us a couple of little side table, but for now we are mostly furnitureless.... that's ok though, and I'm discovering that one of the benefits of living in the Big Apple is that you can furnish a home for next to nothing... today I came upon a brand new chest of drawers that someone was leaving out in the street because they decided they didn't need it... so I now have some drawers to complement my mattress! Its kinda nice to be in a place that's so uncluttered...
The last month has been expensive, though - security deposit on the apartment, and the fact that being duped by someone on airbnb meant there was a certain amount of tension in the air and, as a result, we wound up eating out almost every night... i'm glad to be getting back into home cooking now... the lack of clutter in our new place also feels somehow poignant, as the previous place saw us cramped into at tiny room (the owner had advertised a big beautiful space on airbnb, but when we arrived we discovered that the room in the pictures was not the room we would be in - instead we were in a tiny drafty little cave!)... so there was both physical and emotional clutter all around us..
Having moved on, i've been reflecting on this idea of 'emotional clutter'... sometimes in life you just have to 'suck it up' and accept that yu didnt get what you wanted... i'm going to inform airbnb of the fact that we were misled, but despite my initial irritation at falling victim to what was essentially a scam, I have to ask myself whether I want to get embroiled in a big conflict with the owner of the house? Her personality suggest that its unlikely she can be reasoned with, so I doubt that a great deal would be achieved... Anyway, I'm going to arrange to meet the owner this week, and do my best to politely and respectfully say what I have to say... I dont really expect her to admit wrongdoing (maybe she'll surprise me, but she doesnt seem like the type of person to extend herself in that way) so I'm inclined to just 'keep my side of the street clean' and move on from the situation... More and more I am seeing that the joys of simple living means keeping things simple in my emotional life just as much as in my material life....
Hugs,
Lucas..
fidgiegirl
1-29-13, 9:49pm
I think it's true about the emotional baggage. You are wise to realize you will never likely hear what you'd like to hear from this woman; the sooner you can chalk it up to experience, tuck it away in your life lessons and move on, the better off you will be.
Enjoying your journal, as always! :)
The antithesis of Simple Living. Janelle Stone has a Dallas business doing estate sales for the very wealthy. This sale was last weekend. Obviously the family was wealthy and husband died a couple of months ago (90's); so either wife and/or children decided to sell all. https://janellestone.com/estate-sales/ I don't understand how or why people accumulate so much stuff. How do you remember where something is located? Note that they have three(3) Pianos.
I donate tons of stuff to a local mission. Most recently had them come and pick up a king mattress. I also belong to freecycle.com. Two weeks ago I listed three items including a nice leather rocker/recliner and recumbent bike; AKA auxiliary clothes catcher. Everything was spoken for in the first 20-minutes! Stuff disappeared the next week.
A year ago our neighbor died. His daughter was living at home and took care of him. They scheduled an estate sale and I was totally amazed at what dad and daughter had accumulated. Before the sale they started cleaning out the garage and then the house. It took three large dumpsters. After the sale, they had to rent another one. Throughout the process, the curb was overflowing with a stack of bags each garbage day.
I've told my wife that is she dies before me that I will wait - at least - a day after the funeral to list our home; sell everything possible and pass on family stuff to nieces/nephews/other family... Thought about renting a condo but decided I didn't want to be locked into anything. Told wife I'd move into an extended stay hotel suite. Free internet, utilities, no home/renter insurance needed, and cable tv plus maid service and free breakfast.
Took care of culling my clothes. I moved my dresser into my closet. Tossed socks I never wore. Bought 40 Amazon wood hangers for shirts and trousers and another 5 for coats. Anything new means that something goes to the mission. If not for my wife I would half the attire. We've traveled for years and I decided that I might buy a single "small memory item for each trip." Sadly, in Central America all of the tourist stands had exactly the same merchandise.
NJOY,
Bob
happystuff
6-16-20, 7:21am
Welcome, BobM. What a story! And I went to the link - my only response is "WOW!".
I'm working on my declutter now; definitely don't want to leave a big mess for my kids when I'm gone.
iris lilies
6-16-20, 7:44am
I looked at all photos of the estate sale. Wow. So much middle class schlock. So much!
They could’ve had some great art for the money they spent on all that stuff.
I looked at all photos of the estate sale. Wow. So much middle class schlock. So much!
They could’ve had some great art for the money they spent on all that stuff.
I like estate sales, so I had a different reaction. I thought some of the rugs were really pretty, and I liked some of the Indian jewelry.
No, I would not want to live with this much stuff but it looks like it made them happy. Don't see the why the need to judge them harshly--it's not hoarderville, dirty with rats crawling on it.
My collection of wooden handled screwdrivers would probably strike many here as superfluous. But I like them, they are useful, and to me, they are pretty and a reminder of an older time.
happystuff
6-16-20, 9:40am
I like estate sales, so I had a different reaction. I thought some of the rugs were really pretty, and I liked some of the Indian jewelry.
No, I would not want to live with this much stuff but it looks like it made them happy. Don't see the why the need to judge them harshly--it's not hoarderville, dirty with rats crawling on it.
My collection of wooden handled screwdrivers would probably strike many here as superfluous. But I like them, they are useful, and to me, they are pretty and a reminder of an older time.
I like estate sales, too. I usually just walk around and look - rarely buy. And I agree with you, if it made them happy - wonderful. I can't help but think, however, after death, how fair is it to leave it all for someone else to deal with. I say enjoy your stuff while your here, but also deal with it and/or make arrangements to have it dealt with before you are gone. Example would be my dh and his HUGE collection of baseball stuff. He has already been told that none of the kids want any of it, and I don't want any of it. If he wants to donate things to museums or other people, he might want to start making those arrangements now.
That makes sense. But maybe they already had the conversation, and this is how it's done in their family. I went to an estate sale this weekend (bought a book on American architecture and another Christmas tree pin to repair, talk about useless; husband bought two rare hammer heads) and someone tried to buy the house, and the estate sale lady said, no, the heir was coming to live in it. So he puts on the sale, keeps what he wants (a few really nice pieces were marked no sale) and the place is cleaned out when he gets there, he gets to live in his mom's house all cleaned out and tidy, and he also gets a check. She was 94 and looked like she lived there to the end.
He lived far away, in New Mexico. Seems like a good deal to him.
happystuff
6-16-20, 9:53am
That makes sense. But maybe they already had the conversation, and this is how it's done in their family. I went to an estate sale this weekend (bought a book on American architecture and another Christmas tree pin to repair, talk about useless; husband bought two rare hammer heads) and someone tried to buy the house, and the estate sale lady said, no, the heir was coming to live in it. So he puts on the sale, keeps what he wants (a few really nice pieces were marked no sale) and the place is cleaned out when he gets there, he gets to live in his mom's house all cleaned out and tidy, and he also gets a check. She was 94 and looked like she lived there to the end.
He lived far away, in New Mexico. Seems like a good deal to him.
Exactly! Sounds like it worked all around.
Teacher Terry
6-16-20, 12:33pm
Wow the amount of stuff is overwhelming. I loved estate sales when young and we needed things. I also don’t go to garage sales with my husband because we don’t need a thing and he will buy things. He doesn’t go without me luckily.
Wow, they must have had a huge home, lots of china cabinets! Think of the dusting! I love estate sales, too, just to see things I've never seen before. And to appreciate the way things used to be made. You know: well.
iris lilies
6-16-20, 1:41pm
I like estate sales but I’ve seen so much stuff exactly like this Dallas house has over the years that I tire of it, only St. Louis estate sales have a few hundred items not thousands of items.
We all have our collections. This house had tons of collections. Sure if they got pleasure out of it so what, is just that I prefer to see elevated taste. But that’s very Dallas. And sorry, I call it hoarding but the label doesn’t really matter. their collection of stuff doesn’t hurt anyone and certainly has enriched whomever sells it to them so all is well unless they thought they would finance their grandchildren’s trust with the stuff. That won’t happen because this is exactly the kind of stuff that no one buys anymore, it is dated.
Teacher Terry
6-16-20, 1:43pm
I have no collection of anything since getting rid of the ones I had.
The idea that selling the collections creates a burden for the heirs is just silly. They stand to inherit hundreds of thousands of dollars, in most cases, from the sale of the house and its contents. It won't kill them to earn a little of it.
iris lilies
6-16-20, 3:40pm
The idea that selling the collections creates a burden for the heirs is just silly. They stand to inherit hundreds of thousands of dollars, in most cases, from the sale of the house and its contents. It won't kill them to earn a little of it.
Well, were it me, I would have 0 interest in “Earning a little” of the presumed money by exchanging my life energy for it. This is one of the basic lessons in Your Money or Your Life money or Your Life, personified by a house full of tons of stuff.
Now, In real life, I would just hire someone to get rid of it all, and send me a check when it is gone. If that means I pay them 50% Or 75% of the proceeds, so be it. though in real life, I would have a sibling (or in my case a sister-in-law,) who wants to fuss with every tiny thing, touching and caressing and holding their own garage sales and dear God it will go on and on and on. With that Dallas house I think we might be done in eight years and nine months. So worth it!
Not.
Teacher Terry
6-16-20, 3:52pm
I would sell it myself over 3 days and donate the rest. I have done it many times for friends and family.
iris lilies
6-16-20, 4:32pm
I would sell it myself over 3 days and donate the rest. I have done it many times for friends and family.
No one is going to sell that lot in three days. Their subdivision couldn’t hold enough cars to bring in people to clean out that house. I suppose they could advertise the sale heavily and bus people in.
happystuff
6-17-20, 7:36am
This is actually what sort of shocked/surprised/amazed/whatever me: 265 Pc. Rosenthal “Sansoucci” china set. 265 pieces! That's a lot of china!
But, admittedly, this is from someone still using the 30 year old wedding Corelle set, now down to 9 dinner plates, 10 soup bowls, 9 sandwich plates and 2 serving bowls.
I think each of us veers towards a different spot on the continuum in terms feeling most happy if you are surrounded by a lot or a little. I veer on the "little"--I lived in a little Cape Cod growing up and my mother LOVED knick-knacks. She had Royal Doultons and Hummels and all kinds of stuff that really didn't fit in such a small house but it made her happy. I thought it was too much. Same with my MIL, but my MIL controlled her china figurine collections and Edinburgh crystal better than my mother did. However, it all came down to the same thing--lots of stuff.
And to ILs point, no one wants that kind of thing anymore. You can't give it away.
Looking at those photos my mind goes haywire. But I'm the type that drools over pictures of Thoreau's cabin and monks' quarters.
And I'm on the side of "spare the kids the burden of getting rid of it." Doing my Great Purge was an opportunity to learn what each kid really loved and wanted from my stuff. The rest I got rid of. Some of the stuff they wanted we gave to the kids at the time and we kept the other stuff. It's more than enough for them to claim once we're gone.
Teacher Terry
6-17-20, 10:58am
IL, you are probably right and I don’t know how big the house is. I sold the stuff in a 3k house in three days and it took 4 days with 3 people to price things. In the garage we only priced the big items. I put my husband out there because he knew how much to charge people.
Terry, is it worth having a sale when people are not into collecting and they just have old, not great stuff? Will people buy it?
Terry, is it worth having a sale when people are not into collecting and they just have old, not great stuff? Will people buy it?
Yeah, that was my thought, too. When we had our garage sale, electronics went really fast--no matter how old. Old 70s receivers, big speakers from the old days, you name it. In fact my kids got mad at me for selling some of it. I couldn't imagine anyone wanting it but everything that goes around comes around and there's a market for those old things.
But forget the china and silver. I gave it away. I couldn't give away the Royal Doultons.
I snuck an old receiver out of the basement a few weeks ago and got rid of it.
I will never let on, it must have vanished.
Teacher Terry
6-17-20, 7:39pm
Tybee, I made 2k for my friends so they thought it was worth it. What didn’t sell went on the donation truck that came a few days later.
Tybee, I made 2k for my friends so they thought it was worth it. What didn’t sell went on the donation truck that came a few days later.
My brothers want to "just auction off" the contents of my parents' house. Which is fine, except no one has gone through it and systematically removed personal items and papers etc. I feel we need to go there and make the hard choices and do the grief work of actually dealing with things. No one will help, so they're saying, you go do it. Otherwise we'll just auction everything off.
I have spent weeks with my husband cleaning out garbage and fixing things so that it would look okay for anyone entering the house. Weeks and about 80 bags of garbage and broken stuff to the dump.
I'd rather deal with the remaining stuff and then either donate it or junk it, or auction the 95% of what is left. But it's not valuable stuff, it's furniture from 1980, etc.
iris lilies
6-18-20, 10:06am
I snuck an old receiver out of the basement a few weeks ago and got rid of it.
I will never let on, it must have vanished.
haha, glad it “ vanished.”
Teacher Terry
6-18-20, 11:31am
My friends had nothing valuable. It was just regular furniture, etc. However, the money adds up when you sell things. My friends had already removed what they were keeping. My mom got rid of all personal letters, etc before she died. I have already done the same. My experience with auctions is that they keep much of the profits. Tools, etc that are in the garage sell really well.
happystuff
6-18-20, 11:37am
I definitely agree with "the money adds up". We usually have a Town Wide Yard sale twice a year - June and October. Of course, the June one has been cancelled. As a recourse, I had started selling items from my yard sale pile on Facebook Marketplace. I pretty much kept to yard sale prices and have happily made numerous sales. Primarily have gotten rid of the stuff, but managed to put a little cash in my pocket at the same time. On a side note, I'm often surprised at what people will buy! LOL.
My friends had nothing valuable. It was just regular furniture, etc. However, the money adds up when you sell things. My friends had already removed what they were keeping. My mom got rid of all personal letters, etc before she died. I have already done the same. My experience with auctions is that they keep much of the profits. Tools, etc that are in the garage sell really well.
That's good that your mom did that, and that you have done so too.
My parents did not, and I have sorted many of the letters out, but I'd like to get them all out of there, and do more trash removal.
Well, not like to, but feel I need to.
iris lilies
6-18-20, 8:21pm
That's good that your mom did that, and that you have done so too.
My parents did not, and I have sorted many of the letters out, but I'd like to get them all out of there, and do more trash removal.
Well, not like to, but feel I need to.
What are the consequences of just leaving things as they are in your parents house and having someone come in and clean up for sale and then sell the stuff?
I do not know what’s in your parents’ house. But I do know there’s a fair number of posters here who go through this same exercise in cleaning out our parents house because many of us are in that age. There are siblings who want to slow the process down and have concern about items in the house. There are others who just want to get get it all done.
I wonder what you see as reasons for careful removal of papers and letters?
My second question is: if you are going to remove papers and letters, how much time does it really take? I mean at this point what is left in the house that is useful? Your parents have been out of it for 2 1/2 years.
Teacher Terry
6-19-20, 12:02am
Strangers will throw letters away. You may be interested but your kids won’t. Plus it’s private and shouldn’t be seen by anyone.
What are the consequences of just leaving things as they are in your parents house and having someone come in and clean up for sale and then sell the stuff?
I do not know what’s in your parents’ house. But I do know there’s a fair number of posters here who go through this same exercise in cleaning out our parents house because many of us are in that age. There are siblings who want to slow the process down and have concern about items in the house. There are others who just want to get get it all done.
I wonder what you see as reasons for careful removal of papers and letters?
My second question is: if you are going to remove papers and letters, how much time does it really take? I mean at this point what is left in the house that is useful? Your parents have been out of it for 2 1/2 years.
There are still items in the house that I want, furniture from my grandparents and furniture that was given to me as a child but that remained in their house because my mom used it. We could not remove it earlier since my father is still living and wanted to return to the house and wanted everything the way it was.
There are things my mom wanted us to have, too.
Papers and letters have value to me, and as a courtesy to my parents, should be removed by a family member and not a stranger, for the reasons Terry said. I feel I owe them that; I can't provide hands on care for them but I can help them put their affairs in order before they die.
If this situation were up to me, it would have been completed two years ago. I am not the executor; nor do I have Power of Attorney for either parent.
The executor was supposed to remove all valuables from the house and handle the papers. He did some of this but only a portion On the other hand, my parents are alive, and we did not have my father's permission to do these things. It's not his fault.
My siblings did not want to handle the problem of the contents of the house. I want it over with as there is a buyer for the house.
Hope that helps clarify the situation. If not, then I guess it is one of those things that we have differing values and will have trouble understanding the other's viewpoint.
Teacher Terry
6-19-20, 12:33pm
Tybee, it makes sense to me. I would think with a buyer your siblings want to move things along. When my mom died they didn’t even pack things for the auction house. So they charged to do that and as a result made absolutely nothing from the sale. The apartment complex forbid sales and my mom died on the 19th. They wanted to be out by the end of the month so as not to pay rent. Between my sister, brother and SIL they easily could have packed it. Instead they sat around and read. My mom had deposed of much of her stuff so it would have been easy.
Oh my gosh, Terry, were we separated at birth, sibling wise?
Teacher Terry
6-19-20, 1:44pm
Seems so Tybee. My mom moved a few times and each time I had to take 2 weeks vacation to fly out to help her pack and unpack despite one living a hour away and the other 6. They are older than me and retired earlier. When my mom was sick my sister said she wished I still lived in Wisconsin so I could help. They didn’t lift a finger for 14 years with my dad. If I had lived there they would have done nothing. During those years I used every bit of my sick and vacation to fly out to help.
iris lilies
6-19-20, 1:44pm
Tybee, I can see why nothing of substance has left your parent’s house while your dad is still alive and kicking and aware, it is after all his house. But if he has now agreed to sell apparently, so now you can get out quickly. I would think you could clean up all paperwork in a weekend, if not giving final,disposition, at least gathering it in tubs for resolution later (although much of it could be pitched on the spot.) You could pick up the pieces of furniture that you want and put them in a rented storage unit. Then the place iS ready for outsiders to clean out.
It all depends on how much labor each one of you want to spend on it. I think it’s a perfectly valid decision to not spend any labor at all. I think it’s a perfectly valid decision to spend labor on it to get maximum money out of the estate. Both of those decisions are valid and reasonable.
Tybee, I can see why nothing of substance has left your parent’s house while your dad is still alive and kicking and aware, it is after all his house. But if he has now agreed to sell apparently, so now you can get out quickly. I would think you could clean up all paperwork in a weekend, if not giving final,disposition, at least gathering it in tubs for resolution later (although much of it could be pitched on the spot.) You could pick up the pieces of furniture that you want and put them in a rented storage unit. Then the place iS ready for outsiders to clean out.
It all depends on how much labor each one of you want to spend on it. I think it’s a perfectly valid decision to not spend any labor at all. I think it’s a perfectly valid decision to spend labor on it to get maximum money out of the estate. Both of those decisions are valid and reasonable.
Good point about putting papers aside--we have done some of that, but really a lot of old stuff just needs to be shredded or burned so it is not in the house anymore. Good idea of getting the furniture we want out and put in storage. If we do those things, then it's fine if someone wants to organize an auction, although most of the value is in the tools, and I think my brothers wanted some of the tools.
I don't think of the labor being intended to get maximum money--it's just to protect their privacy and get the heirlooms out.It really isn't about the money, it's about getting the personal stuff and heirlooms out.
I think if you are someone's executor, you ought to be willing to go through their papers and make decisions about what you need to keep. I think that is your duty; if you don;t want to do that, don't take on the job.
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