Prep for the end

[miradoblackwarrior]

Hello, all--
My mother recently died. She didn't have a great deal of money, but what little she did is tied up so tightly in rules and regulations, that I had to hire a lawyer just to open up a savings account.

Folks--please prepare for the end. Please get all the financial statements in order, power of attorneys, living wills, etc. It is a nightmare to go from one bank to another to another, just for a few measly bucks. My mother had total assets of $5000. I need the money to reimburse myself for her funeral, because, surprise! You can't access those accounts until you have death certificates, as well as the patience of a saint.

I know that everyone who has lost a loved one goes through this rigamorole. But, man! It is so tedious!

Susan

[Lainey]

Sorry you're having to deal with this, miradoblackwarrior. You are right for the reminder that a little preparation goes a long way in saving loved ones unnecessary hassle.

[Simpler at Fifty]

@Susan I am sorry for your loss. Patience is key and this is a good reminder for all of us to get prepared. I have a binder where I keep account numbers, passwords etc. A close friend of mine just passed a few weeks ago and at 47 she was extremely organized about her terminal cancer and impending death. Down to planning her own memorial service. I hope I can be as organized with my binder soon.

[Blackdog Lin]

Susan, sending my sympathies also for your loss.

You're right, I haven't done what needs done and I know better, having to deal with by myself MIL's death 12 years ago. It was horrible. And yet I still have DH and I in probably the same situation, for our son, should something happen to us.

A timely reminder - and I thank you for it.....

[iris lily]

Susan, sorry to hear this, It's adding insult to injury to have to deal with these problematic financial issues when in mourning.

Partly because we had a long lead time for my mother's death, and partly because my family is good with money, when my mom died it was all pretty simple because we had set it up that way. Both of her children were co-owners on everything so there was no probate. She died on December 16th and by January 10th my brother had mailed to me a check for 95% of my share of her estate. Now, the rest of it, the 5%, took 18 months to work through, but it was no hassle on my part. My brother spent some time at it but our family friend and my mom's attorney did the work at no cost. Really nice of him!

By the time my mother died all of her estate was in financial instruments, there was no house to clean out and sell. yay.

Now DH and I--have no will!!!! How awful is that for our successors! We really need to complete that this year since we have no obvious heirs.

[SteveinMN]

My sympathies, Susan...

This may already have been covered on these forums earlier, but a few years ago, I came across a document on the getrichslowly Web site called Erik Dewey's The Big Book of Everything (http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2009/07/21/free-life-affairs-organizer/) . It's a free PDF which can be complete and kept on-line (with appropriate backup) or printed out and filled in. The document covers all kinds of info and not all of it needs to be filled out. Topics include financial and insurance information (company, policy number, coverage details); information on final arrangements; contacts for utilities, alarm systems, subscriptions, etc.; on-line account IDs and passwords; the location of documents, valuables, additional locations of property; debts owed; etc. If nothing else, it can help start a conversation on the kind of information that someone will need to follow the document owner's wishes and take care of affairs simply.

[Zoebird]

We are sorted out pretty basically. Our only real asset is our business (and some cash assets besides), so it's not much should we go. Our life insurance policies are enough to cover funeral expenses and then to pay for some child care for about a year (part time) for DS. It's a start at least, should anything happen to us.

[Blackdog Lin]

Steve - thanks so much for the link! It looks like just the thing to jumpstart my planning and organization. I'll probably still procrastinate, but at least this has me thinking about getting stuff together. We don't even have our wills done.

[frugal-one]

The easiest thing to do to get started is to go to your financial institution and get POD (paid on death) or TOD (transfer on death) forms filled out to designate your beneficiaries for checking/saving accounts (POD) and brokerage accounts (TOD). This way probate will be avoided. The monies will then be given directly to your heirs ... avoiding probate and months of hassle. This is absolutely free.. the financial institutions have the forms... all you do is fill them out. Depending on the state where you live you can also do this for your home.... passing on directly to your heirs, again avoiding probate. There is a minimal cost for this ($30 where I live).

[Gardenarian]

Thanks for the link to "The Big Book of Everything" Steve - very nice!

[larknm]

The process can take a long time. Maybe not if you have a lawyer ut even then I'd think you'd have to get info together for her. And you need to be informed about when state laws change affecting these things. DH and I have no investments, which helps, but four dogs and a bird some of which may outlast us. And a small house in town and a cabin in the mountains. I would like to get rid of these before we die (he would not) and just rent. We have few personal possessions, which helps. Our hitch has been my sister told me if we don't leave whatever we have to hers she will contest our wills (theoretically because we have no kids). So we got protection for that written in because she's notoriusly greedy and into fights when people die.

I really don't want anyone to have to take time tying up our affairs when we die.

[frugal-one]

Larknm..... use the Transfer on Death deed (costs $30 in my state). That works like an insurance policy... it goes directly to the person you designate. No way to contest it!

[ToomuchStuff]

You can also add TOD on a vehicle, and I am pretty sure a house. (TOD eliminated the liability factor of being a co-owner).

Thanks for the book as well.

[Gingerella72]

My parents (81 and 82) have wills, living wills, and have me as power of attorney. Also, I am added to all bank accounts as an authorized user so I'll have access to the accounts and can write checks, withdraw money, etc. should they not be able to.

Every couple of years Dad goes over all of their financial situation with me, in case anything has changed. I know who his lawyers are, who to contact first should he pass on, for example the VA to stop his veterans benefit payments; computer passwords for his online accounts, where all of his life insurance paperwork is, etc. I also have lists of all of their friends' phone numbers and addresses, to contact when the time comes.

He is also in the process of getting both his and Mom's funerals arranged and paid for in advance. Two years ago my mother-in-law died, and I can't express what a smooth experience it was for the kids (grief notwithstanding) because she had the entire funeral arranged and paid for years ago. No rushed, last minute decisions to make about this or that while going through acute grief.

It was a very surreal and slightly morbid experience meeting at the funeral home and standing there picking out caskets and stuff with my parents....it's hard to broach the subject of dying with ones parents when they are very much alive and in reasonably good health for their age, but it's going to happen someday and the practical thing to do is be prepared. We've also discussed what their wishes would be should they get to the point that they can't live on their own anymore.

Something else to consider: I have lists of every medication each one is taking, which doctor prescribed it, dosage, what condition it's for, etc.

[ToomuchStuff]

He is also in the process of getting both his and Mom's funerals arranged and paid for in advance. Two years ago my mother-in-law died, and I can't express what a smooth experience it was for the kids (grief notwithstanding) because she had the entire funeral arranged and paid for years ago. No rushed, last minute decisions to make about this or that while going through acute grief.




This is something that I heard Dave Ramsey on the radio, say was a bad idea. (prepaying for a funeral) That is something I strongly disagree with, having had family in the business, and seeing some cases, where a person was buried, before they found paperwork with that persons wishes on it. I would argue to him, at least in the cases I know, it is similar to "What Sharon wants", as in peace of mind.

As for me, well there is an old song, Send me to Glory in a Glad Bag. (spending money on a dead me, does no good for the next generation)