On Goals

[fidgiegirl]

I have been running across the term "stretch goals" in different areas lately. What's up with that term? Where did it come from and what does it mean? I mean, it's easy enough for me to guess that it's probably a goal someone has but knows it would be a bit difficult to actually reach it. In one spot I read that it's better to set 7 stretch goals and reach 3 than 5 "sure" goals and reach all of them.

And speaking of goals, for the first time in my life, I can't really think of what mine are for the next year. We have lots of ideas for things we want to do, but no solid "goals." And I think that's kind of ok, but my "striver" self is very disappointed in me. :~) I'm maybe still getting used to the "enjoy the journey" part of simple living. It feels strange but I'm also enjoying not having the pressure of achieving a given goal in a timeline arbitrarily decided by, well, just myself.

In the past I have been extremely goal-oriented and I used to participate quite actively in a site called 43Things (http://www.43things.com/), which is kind of forum-y and kind of bloggy and really liked it at the time, but have gotten away from it. Feeling like that might be a place to focus again on goals, but then I say (given the above paragraph) - why?

Where do you fall on the idea of goals? Do you like to have one, or many? None? Not necessarily wondering what they are, though you could feel free to share that, too. More thinking of "goals" as a general concept.

[bunnys]

Why indeed?

I have been reading the Zen Habits page, Fidgie and they do not push setting goals. I think I agree. I'm not setting goals so much anymore and I feel better about it.

When I started running again a month ago I was all fired up about running the 10k here in April. But I don't know if I'm going to do that or not. At this point, I just want to keep running 3x a week. Also not obsessing about losing weight. I would like to lose 10 more pounds but so what if I don't. Just want to benefit enough from the running that I don't gain--it would be nice to lose a pound a month, though. But that's not something I have to obsess about.

I also want to start writing and had thought about setting goals regarding that. However, I just want to start being around writers so I can effortlessly get the point where I am no longer able to keep myself from writing. I think if I just surround myself with people like that that shift will eventually happen.

I looked on Meetup and there are like 5 local writing meetups in my town. I'm going to go to one event a week for awhile and just sit and listen--rather than having to prove with my credentials for awhile and see how it makes me feel.

What's the race, anyway?

[razz]

And speaking of goals, for the first time in my life, I can't really think of what mine are for the next year.

Beyond getting more time watercolour or oil painting, I am the same. as you.

In thinking about it, I wonder if I set targets for myself rather than goals but maybe they are thew same thing?

[catherine]

Kathy Freston wrote a book called "Leaning Into Veganism"--her approach was about not just setting a high bar and changing your life in one fell swoop and probably quitting two weeks later, but to "lean into" change.

I love that term! It makes you feel that you can slowly, gently change in a way that's more organic and natural. So I can "lean into" exercising more, or being mindful about money, or anything at all.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Kathy Freston wrote a book called "Leaning Into Veganism"--her approach was about not just setting a high bar and changing your life in one fell swoop and probably quitting two weeks later, but to "lean into" change.

Makes sense, possibly the only way I could approach goals, can't stand goals proper.


I love that term! It makes you feel that you can slowly, gently change in a way that's more organic and natural. So I can "lean into" exercising more, or being mindful about money, or anything at all.

Still feel it has to be something you somewhat on some level want to do, if it's something you just absolutely hate, like "I'm going to lean into going to the gym even though I hate every single aspect of the gym from the sweaty machines to the crowds", it's not really going to work.

One thing I can't stand is ritualized goals for let's say the dirty words because it is that time of year: new years resolutions :~). Though I seem to have no end of problems with rituals this time of year, can't stand materialism for xmas shopping, can't stand self-punishing new years resolutions etc.. I go into such rebellion at the thought that I very strongly litererally want to make ANTI new years resolutions. Like instead of resolving to improve my diet, resolve to make a dessert every week in January :~). Oh I probably wont' do so and if I decided to I'd probably adjust my eating to accomidate so I didn't actually gain 10 pounds for the new year :~). Or resolve to waste a little money in January instead of cut back my spending or something. Just strong desire for symbolic rebellion.

But there are things I actually want and want to work on that are positive (not my weight though, I'm leaving that alone to do what it wants to), the rebellion is mostly against the whole ritualized aspect, and what we told to do in mass.

[larknm]

I've noticed that as I get older (70 now), it's harder to come up with goals. The ones I seem to have are to outlive my dogs so they don't end up separated from each other. One is not to leave a mess (myself or my stuff) for others to clean up, settle. One is to keep on thinking of three or more things ever night I'm glad happened that day, plus say the Lakota prayer from Living the Lakota Way by Joseph Marshall so I don't feel isolated and pray for others--the idea being everyone/thing are all my relatives.

[Dhiana]

I love New Year's Resolutions! There are so many amazing, wonderful things to do in this beautiful world! New Years Resolutions help me focus where best to spend my valuable time, money and energy.

Usually I have about 10 Resolutions each year and about an 80% success rate :) I've already slowly started working on a couple for 2013 such as tapering down my consumption on Dt. Coke...this one is usually a fail by the end of the year but I have hope each Jan 1.

[SteveinMN]

Goals got really perverted at my old workplace. Way too much time discussing potential goals and how many and how to measure them and how they should be of different kinds and we had to include "stretch" goals (though not accomplishing goals was cause for being downrated at your performance review). Forms for this, reviews for that, reports in specific formats during the year. Feh.

Now my "goals" are essentially my to-do list for the next couple of days ("make doctor appointment", "clear out kitchen sink", etc.). Longer-term goals have component steps which fall into the to-do list ("get EIN number for business", "get hard drive for digital music library", etc.). There are times when things need to be done right away. But not everything. And not everything we do has to be done on a schedule and with multiple levels of review.

[frugal-one]

I find if I do not have a goal... I do nothing or I flit from one thing to another and accomplish nothing. One book that changed my life years ago was "The Magic of Thinking Big". This may be what is meant today by "stretch goals". If you don't strive to achieve "big" things, you won't.

[dado potato]

It's one thing to have a goal. And quite another to hit it!

[Tradd]

I met my stretch goal this year! :)

[goldensmom]

I differentiate between resolutions and goals. If I make a resolution, try to keep it and don’t keep it then it’s okay. If I make a goal and don’t keep it, then I’ve failed. I keep a resolution but I meet a goal. This view comes from working 30 years at a human services agency that set goals that were never met because one cannot predict how other people (the entire focus of the agency) will behave. Additionally, I have a list of things to do this week, over the summer, before I die, etc. that I guess could be considered goals but I don’t feel bad if I don’t get those things done.

[Florence]

I am rather goal oriented. But as I get older I find myself looking at my goals with a more realistic eye. I've been looking over the 2012 Goals and seeing what was done and what wasn't. Sometimes life just gets in the way of my plans and goals. Last year one of my goals was to learn to make a new soup each month. I didn't do it because in February, I started Weight Watchers and it was enough of a challenge to get Points into my daily cooking plans. I lost 25 lb. on WW so even if I didn't do my soup project, I think I came out just fine. I do plan to do my soup project in 2013. Has anyone started a Goals 2013 thread so we can post our goals?

[Florence]

I met my stretch goal this year! :)

:cool:CONGRATULATIONS:cool:

[Tradd]

:cool:CONGRATULATIONS:cool:

Thank you! And you folks know what it is, as I've chatted about it incessantly in the workplace forum. :)

[catherine]

I have been running across the term "stretch goals" in different areas lately. What's up with that term? Where did it come from and what does it mean?

This is what I found..

The term was coined by Jack Welch during GE’s golden years to describe the process of asking for the almost impossible as a method to get workers to reach beyond what they had previously thought possible to get amazing results year after year.

I think money goals are really fun to set, because there's something about writing it down that gives you some kind of psychological or even metaphysical advantage. Every time I've set a financial goal and written it down, I've exceeded it. So every year I write down my income and debt reduction goals on my dry erase board where I can see them every day. Then I just carry on, and it's like a miracle! In Wayne Dyer's words, I somehow manifest my destiny.

I'm sure you could set other goals like that. Right now, since my permaculture design course, I'm setting goals to consistently learn and practice permaculture. Because I'm a bit ADD, I find that goals help me focus. BUT, a really can't do more than 1 or 2 at a time.

In theory, I like the idea of stretch goals because I believe there's no limit to what we can achieve. My son sent me this TED talk (http://www.ted.com/talks/janine_shepherd_a_broken_body_isn_t_a_broken_perso n.html)--if you have 20 minutes and want to see a stretch goal in action, check it out!

[Bootsie]

I work best when I set myself up with reminders about my goals, to keep my goals in front of me. That's the tricky part for me. I like having a goal and making a plan to meet it, but I can easily get distracted by regular ol' life and neglect my goals unless I SEE a reminder. Once the goal becomes habit, I'm good to go, but setting myself up for that takes deliberate effort.

[Zoe Girl]

[QUOTE=goldensmom;120960 This view comes from working 30 years at a human services agency that set goals that were never met because one cannot predict how other people (the entire focus of the agency) will behave. [/QUOTE]
good to hear from you, our school district is having everyone (including maintenance and everyone on up) do goals. On eof mine was to increase registration in my after school program but it really is not happening due to outside factors such as job losses or other child care. So I am focusing on learning spanish. The entire goal process can be crappy at work at times, but it is helping me with my staff. They want to focus on the bad kid of the week and I am seeing how we can write our program goals for things in our control like having a consistent behavior plan that the kids understand.

As for myself, I have some ideas but the last couple of years have been too unpredictable. So one goal is around meditation but there is nothing quantifiable like I would write for work in the goal.

[Fawn]

We do goal-setting at work too. But the way the process is structured makes the exercise meaningless. However, my personal goal-setting process rocks!

[leslieann]

I like the concept of holding goals loosely. Since I tend to get into rigid striving, keeping the thought of holding loosely is freeing....keeps my orientation toward the goal but I am not locked into a rigid way of achieving it. I like what someone said about hanging out with writers until she can't keep herself from writing..that is a way different approach than rigidly setting word or time goals for each day and thinking punishing thoughts if you should not meet them.

[Blackdog Lin]

I'm thinking strongly about catherine's post about "leaning in" toward a goal. This suits me. It describes my life outlook. It kinda IS me.

Thanks catherine for the post. I'm going to put some thought into this - ala the dreaded New Year's Resolutions.