View Full Version : Had to Bite My Tongue
HappyHiker
12-26-12, 3:49pm
My friend is helping to raise her grandson, along with help from her son. The GS's mother was abusive to the boy. Just got off the phone with my freind. Asked her what was her grandson's favorite gift...
She told me Black Ops, which is just about the most violent video game out there--and one, it's reported, that the killer in Ct.., played a lot.
My friend told that her GS's other favorite gift was a pellet gun.
Okay, here's a 12 year old boy getting a video game where he will be a shooter of people and also getting a gun. His Dad plans on getting him a shotgun soon, too, and will teach his son how to use the pellet gun for target practice.
I'm sickened by this--and worried. But I bit my tongue. My friend is a retired school teacher--maybe it's okay.
But I don't get it...am I just terribly old-fashioned and all this is fine? My mind says, "wonderful, the 12 year old boy will play a game that kills humans as entertainment, and give him a weapon, and train him how to use it.."
But I wonder...
What are your thoughts?
I got my daughter her first real rifle when she was 10. She is now 15. She had access to air rifles and air pistols at a younger age still. I got her a wonderful real sword for Christmas this year, she has been studying fighting with the blade for years now.
I have no problem with weapons being provided to children in a responsible way, as part of a deliberate, supervised training program.
However, I have issues with the violent video game. I have seen this game, and think it is completely inappropriate for a 12 year old boy.
I, personally, am not one for glorifying weapons and killing and shooting and all that crap. I think it's morbid and gross but hey, everybody has their thing.
However, I think it takes a lot more than playing violent video games and shooting BB guns (and real guns, for that matter) to make a mass shooter. If it did, as a culture we'd be in big trouble. Well, bigger. So, I wouldn't worry about that. When your friend tells you DGS is torturing animals, then you have a whole different issue. But for now, I think there isn't a problem
SteveinMN
12-26-12, 7:10pm
I've known truly mature 12-year-olds and children in 12-year-old bodies. So much depends on this kid's maturity level and emotional outlook. Friends of ours are big outdoors people, and all of their kids had BB guns by the time they were 12. Access to the guns was tied to predecessor steps -- gun safety classes, being able to accompany on hunts with essentially a proxy gun while the adults watched for lapses of judgement, good grades, .... It certainly can work in the proper circumstances.
The video game? I'm not sure about that. On one hand, many of us grew up watching cartoons filled with all kinds of violence and it didn't turn all of us into mass killers. Even 30 years ago some of us were playing first-person-shooter video games like Castle Wolfenstein. Granted, today's video games are far more realistic-looking than the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote or three-decade-old first-person shooter games. But Wolfenstein was quite a technical achievement for its time, too. A lot of perfectly normal people play these games for a while and tire of them and move on with life. Some of them get obsessed with the idea and go on to "bigger" things. Again, it's an issue of the emotional level of the child. And we don't know that based on this post.
I'm with bae on this one, actually.
I don't think that guns themselves are glorifying violence, nor weapons in general. DS has a wooden sword and a real bow/arrows (and lessons), and through a friend, we are looking at lessons in western swordplay (not formalized fencing -- but the stuff you see in movies, since that's how it's normally used) when he is old enough for them.
We are also considering a general martial arts training (aikido, etc).
We don't do video games, and we are cautious about what he watches (many children his age watch a lot of different films that we feel are too intense and violent for DS. afterall, he freaked out at the older version of Snow White -- the disney one. So, a lot of movies would be intense).
I don't think my son is growing up violent. I think he's growing up capable and understanding of these weapons of power -- both in reality as well as mythologically.
That being said, I would -- in general -- consider this a concerning misstep, but I don't know the parents or the child n question, and it may not be a big deal, or it might be.
What might be some games for the OP to suggest that offer sufficient challenge for a 12 year old? It strikes me as leaving someone in limbo when one game is found inappropriate but alternatives are not offered
iris lily
12-26-12, 11:05pm
I suspect that the lack of a loving father in his life will have a whole lot more effect than granny's choices of presents for him.
To be honest, I know nothing of video games, and we don't plan on having them in our home at all, so I can't provide alternatives.
We don't have video games because
1. I don't care for them. I was a child when the atari came out, and I just would rather have played outside. Then everyone got nintendo, and I'd still rather be outside, and it kept going from there. ANd I have NO idea why people like video games. But, a lot of people seem to like things like guitar hero and also the racing games, and those do have challenges and less violence.
2. I don't feel like buying the platforms necessary for them, and would rather that my son do other activities. He can live without, or have those things at friends houses or whatever. Though, seeing as we are sending him to a Steiner school and most of them do without video games, we dont' have much to worry about really.
HappyHiker
12-27-12, 9:53am
What might be some games for the OP to suggest that offer sufficient challenge for a 12 year old? It strikes me as leaving someone in limbo when one game is found inappropriate but alternatives are not offered
I've no suggestions on other video games age-appropriate and challenging for a 12 year-old--maybe someone else does. My question is whether a game that's been reviewed as very violent with realistic gouts of blood, killing scenes with assault weapons and explosives, and cursing is appropriate "entertainment" for a child whose mind is still being formed?
Yep, we played cowboys and Indians as kids--but there was no "realistic gouts of blood" and it was make-believe from a previous time--not current affairs that are making headlines as tragedies at home and abroad....
I wonder what hours spent alone playing these games does to an impressionable mind? Any psychologists out there to comment?
catherine
12-27-12, 10:06am
I don't think it's just video games.. the movies are filled with violence, and my threshold is very low for it. There are movies that I can't stand that have been upheld as some of the best and I just can't get past the gratuitous violence--movies like Silence of the Lambs and Braveheart. These movies are much more socially sanctioned than violent video games, but I believe they desensitize you to violence just as much. I don't know--is there a difference between being an active participant in Black Ops vs. being able to watch horrible images of killing without turning your head?
HappyHiker
12-27-12, 11:06am
I found a military killing expert and book author (Teaching Our Kids to Kill), Col. Dave Grossman, who has drawn direct causal relationships between media violence and kids who commit violent acts (with video games the worst)...if you're interested in this topic, you'll want to read the article: http://www.killology.com/on_combat_ch7.htm
Some of the experts and studies he cites are very telling: the more media violence viewed, the more it measurably impacts the brains of kids in the logic area--this has been measured in brain scans comparing kids who watch/play little media violence versus heavy violence viewers/players.
Other quotes from the FBI and others about school violence are also fascinating...read the profiles of the young killers--and their relationship with media violence.
Read the article and draw your own conclusions. I found it very convincing. We are training our kids toward violence Why?
Col Dave Grossman thinks we're reaping the harvest of creating sick kids in a sick society...and more violence will visit our schools and homes until we change tutoring kids in violence...
I DO NOT like the idea of all the violent video games at the disposal of young and growing minds nowadays. I have a BIG problem with it, just as I do, violent television. (Very much against it). I see nothing positive Re: those two combinations, just as I see nothing positive in adding real guns to the mix.
It's time society quit biting their tongues.
HappyHiker
12-27-12, 11:58am
I DO NOT like the idea of all the violent video games at the disposal of young and growing minds nowadays. I have a BIG problem with it, just as I do, violent television. (Very much against it). I see nothing positive Re: those two combinations, just as I see nothing positive in adding real guns to the mix.
It's time society quit biting their tongues.
I'm with you 100%. Would you speak to your friend? I doubt the video game is going to be be taken away from the grand kid at this point as it's his favorite Christmas gift...
Not having any children myself means I walk very softly in areas of parenting advice-giving or comments as I've no first-hand experience...
Originally posted by HappyHiker.
Not having any children myself means I walk very softly in areas of parenting advice-giving or comments as I've no first-hand experience...How unfortunate that is. You know, I have utmost respect and admiration Re: the words of others, regardless of whether or not they have children or not. Take our very own, Miss Cellane, for instance. She always has great insight and helpful advice (kid topics included), and even as a mom, my ears are always tuned-in to people like her. I listen, even act on things others say, regardless of whether or not they have children or not, or have experience with.
Makes me so upset when people automatically discount what others have to say (kid related), just because they are child-free. Quite possibly, if more parents took the time and made the effort to listen, instead of always thinking/believing they know everything, just because they have kids, maybe children, especially young ones, would be much further ahead and better off.
awakenedsoul
12-27-12, 3:17pm
I agree with HappyHiker and Mrs.M. You could also ask the grandmother how she feels about it, being a teacher. I enjoyed filling my students' minds with classical music, rhythms, exciting choreography, and praise. I believe the mind needs to be disciplined. Children absorb everything. The more positive influences, the better. Nature, friendship, pets, uplifting books and films, etc...will have a positive effect.
I believe that all this technology is having a negative impact on children. Chores, routine, structure, and order, give them a sense of responsibility and self worth.
How unfortunate that is. You know, I have utmost respect and admiration Re: the words of others, regardless of whether or not they have children or not. Take our very own, Miss Cellane, for instance. She always has great insight and helpful advice (kid topics included), and even as a mom, my ears are always tuned-in to people like her. I listen, even act on things others say, regardless of whether or not they have children or not, or have experience with.
Makes me so upset when people automatically discount what others have to say (kid related), just because they are child-free. Quite possibly, if more parents took the time and made the effort to listen, instead of always thinking/believing they know everything, just because they have kids, maybe children, especially young ones, would be much further ahead and better off.
Indeed. We may not have borne children, but we have been children. Our views are untrammeled by a parental overlay.
I also think that the benefit of non-parents information is that they are not "mired" in it. They have a broader, wider view, and can look at things from many sides because they don't have an active 'stake' in the process.
Before I had children, I was able to learn how I wanted to rear my own by observing other parents, reading, and looking out to see what was working, and what was not. Due to this, I was able to gather a lot of information, provide myself with lots of resources and options, and then when I had my child, I actually had a lot of success in what I wanted to do. Are there surprises and struggles now and again? Yes -- absolutely. But, i can go to my resources. That includes non-parents having an idea.
I agree with HappyHiker and Mrs.M. You could also ask the grandmother how she feels about it, being a teacher. I enjoyed filling my students' minds with classical music, rhythms, exciting choreography, and praise. I believe the mind needs to be disciplined. Children absorb everything. The more positive influences, the better. Nature, friendship, pets, uplifting books and films, etc...will have a positive effect.
I believe that all this technology is having a negative impact on children. Chores, routine, structure, and order, give them a sense of responsibility and self worth.
Indeed. We may not have borne children, but we have been children. Our views are untrammeled by a parental overlay.
Before I had children, I was able to learn how I wanted to rear my own by observing other parents
Yes, yes, and yes! Absolutely, positively!
Adding that, I took cues from the countless homes where I babysat, carrying those learning lessons with me until I had a family of my own, then applied a number of them. Many of them, in fact...
leslieann
12-27-12, 4:56pm
One advantage of being a grandparent is that you can offer a child something different than parents offer. Since we grands don't get to call the shots with the kids, we can supplement their experiences (toys, books, fun, etc) with activities or objects that they would maybe not get to appreciate otherwise.
What I mean is that the OP's friend may not have anything to say about her grandson's video game life but she could share OTHER things with him....plays, or making things, or different styles of music (I learned LOTS about music when my kids were teens....their music as well as "mine"). As much as we might think that something isn't okay for the child, unless we are the parents we don't get to choose. We can suggest but rather than throwing up our hands we could also generate some other interesting and creative ideas. How about spray paint and a big sheet of plywood and a cool book about graffitti?
HappyHiker
12-27-12, 5:00pm
Thanks for giving your opinions...this is one of the most difficult issues I've struggled with for a while...my friend seems very pleased that she was able to give her GS a gift that he really wanted--and was very happy to receive...so that's her take on the issue...
My values certainly don't have to other's values, and I don't want to come off as taking the high moral ground, so I'm wrestling with accepting her POV or speaking my truth...this could end a friendship if not handled with tact...or, maybe there's enough differences to end the friendship any how.
I was so very taken aback to hear her endorsement of these violent video games as appropriate for her GS...and sure, not every kid's going to turn into a mass murderer by playing these games, but most of the profiles of the killers shows they were enamored with the games and spent many hours blowing people away in cyberspace prior to their acts.
Why would a thinking/caring parent or guardian support violent media for their children?
Guess I'll "sit" with this dilemma for a bit and see if a solution comes...
I can't really put my finger on why, but there seems to me to be quite a difference between the live-action "cowboys and indians" games I played in the woods and fields and streets of my youth, and the solitary video-game experience of today.
We played as groups, with teams, with the same kids we played football and hockey and baseball with.
Sitting alone playing a much more immersive, fast-paced video-game seems to me a very very different thing. Exposing a 12-year-old developing neural network to such things just seems ill-advised in so many ways.
HappyHiker
12-27-12, 5:32pm
I can't really put my finger on why, but there seems to me to be quite a difference between the live-action "cowboys and indians" games I played in the woods and fields and streets of my youth, and the solitary video-game experience of today.
We played as groups, with teams, with the same kids we played football and hockey and baseball with.
Sitting alone playing a much more immersive, fast-paced video-game seems to me a very very different thing. Exposing a 12-year-old developing neural network to such things just seems ill-advised in so many ways.
Precisely...these video games are just how the military train their new combat warriors to overcome their natural aversion to murder fellow humans--but the kids are learning without the overlay of respect for leadership and authority...it's very dangerous, what we're doing to our impressionable kids...
...and then we lament the outcome...time after time.
Are we sickened enough to put a stop to it? And what can we do?
Sounds like the old female shuck and jive we've touched on before, where you can't just come out and ask a legitimate question ("Are you concerned all that violence might have unintended effects on him?") without risking the loss of a friendship.
I played all kinds of arcade games in my thirties--laughably tame by current standards--involving shooting at space invaders and the like, and I noticed for awhile afterwards I had this silly impulse to point and shoot at annoying drivers the way I would at oncoming pixels. I have no doubt there can be consequences for some children playing hours of violent games. That said, I recently watched a countdown of top video games and reviewers (male and female) talked about doing just that--weekends long, barely eating, blasting away--and they seemed bright-eyed and unscathed. The trick is knowing when it's a problem. Always the rub.
Are we sickened enough to put a stop to it? And what can we do?
We can educate parents.
If "putting a stop to it" involves stepping inside the home and the parent-child relationship, that is a tricky thing. We allow parents to raise their children in the beliefs of extremist religious systems. We allow parents to feed their children 1400 calorie "value meals". We allow parents to park their kids in front of the TV for hours. We allow parents who believe in astrology and alien visitation to homeschool their kids in science. And so on.
ApatheticNoMore
12-27-12, 5:50pm
Precisely...these video games are just how the military train their new combat warriors to overcome their natural aversion to murder fellow humans--
Really? I thought the military has their own game development seperate from commercial games. I was searching for a link there, because my suspicions, it's ALL military, all the way down. But nothing turned up. Suffice to say the games are known as "military games" and some of them supposedly have you targetting civilians (just like or even better then the real thing ...)
jennipurrr
12-28-12, 8:39pm
My nephew got a Resident Evil (zombie killing) video game from his father's (DHs brother) new girlfriend. I am more troubled by the overall presence of this woman (not a good lifestyle, unstable, etc) than the game but we didn't think this graphic game was appropriate for a 7 year old. DH and I briefly mentioned it and that was that. My nephew's mom also expressed disapproval so maybe the game will go in the garbage...however now its a power struggle over ex vs new girlfriend. Fortunately, on Christmas my nephew was much more interested putting together the lego castle he got than the video game.
I would be less concerned about a bb gun, but I am not exactly sure why. Those games just seem so graphic. Shooting a bb gun is (fairly) harmless and most boys I knew growing up had one and didn't get warped views with guns. However, where I live hunting is common. DH had guns at various points in his childhood and is not interested in owning one as an adult.
I think you do have to bite your tongue here as its really none of your business. If she's a good friend maybe you could mention your concern, but only from a developmental standpoint...I wouldn't bring in all the family drama even if its pertinent.
Yossarian
12-28-12, 9:51pm
I can't really put my finger on why, but there seems to me to be quite a difference between the live-action "cowboys and indians" games I played in the woods and fields and streets of my youth, and the solitary video-game experience of today.We played as groups, with teams, with the same kids we played football and hockey and baseball with. Sitting alone playing a much more immersive, fast-paced video-game seems to me a very very different thing. Exposing a 12-year-old developing neural network to such things just seems ill-advised in so many ways.You can play the games solo but much of the draw for youth is the online teaming. It's a long way from Atari- you basically play with your friends as characters in a virtual world. Real time. In 1080p. So when you can't get a ride to Billy's you just meet up online.
pinkytoe
12-28-12, 10:51pm
My thoughts are aligned with awakenedsoul. We can foster beauty and light in our children or we can feed the dark side. I would be very troubled by your friend's choice too.
HappyHiker
12-29-12, 9:40am
I appreciate all your comments.
I AM troubled by this game in the life of a 12 year old with an abused background--and I AM going to keep biting my lip. I decided it is not my business and I don't want to lose a friendship over a done deed.
Had we been chatting prior to video gift purchase, I suspect I would have queried my friend about her thoughts in introducing this violence into her GS's life, but as it's after the fact, only ruffled feelings will result, I fear.
Feeling kind of heartsick as I know the kid and he seems gentle, loves animals, and sure hate to see him change...and maybe he won't..let's hope so.
Originally posted by HappyHiker.
I AM going to keep biting my lip.Can't say that I am happy with your decision, but it is your friendship, and you know your friend better than we do.
I believe one of the biggest problems society faces today, is a lack of people speaking-up over matters such as this.
Float On
12-29-12, 10:26am
I raised my two guys without video games. They are 15 and 16 and recently they both thanked me for our strong stand against violent video games in the home. They were invited to a friend's house and when they got there the friend only wanted to play video games. They boys were bored and shocked at the themes of the games.
I have no advice in how to try to tell another family how to get gaming out of their lives just advice to not start.
Honestly, when I read threads such as this, it affirms to me just how much parents are loosing their grip (and bite), while children are steadily gaining theirs...
Something I believe is lacking today, courtesy of the nanny society we live in, is good old-fashioned parenting. I bite my tongue often while out in public whenever I witness an unruly child acting-up, misbehaving, or testing their boundaries to the limit, and I think to myself, "what a namby-pamby society we live in".
Yossarian
12-29-12, 12:05pm
Like most things in life, there are good aspects and bad, and the key is knowing how to manage them. Things that are abused end poorly. But in otherwise healthy kids I'm not sure a blanket ban is necessary, although that is certainly one approach. I let my son play games, but they are time-limited and we make sure there are other activities, such as sports, music, camping, reading, general outdoor play, etc. for him to do as well.
Excerpts from http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203458604577263273943183932.html
A growing body of university research suggests that gaming improves creativity, decision-making and perception. .. People who played action-based video and computer games made decisions 25% faster than others without sacrificing accuracy, according to a study. Indeed, the most adept gamers can make choices and act on them up to six times a second—four times faster than most people, other researchers found. Moreover, practiced game players can pay attention to more than six things at once without getting confused, compared with the four that someone can normally keep in mind, said University of Rochester researchers. The studies were conducted independently of the companies that sell video and computer games.
...
Electronic gameplay has its downside. Brain scans show that violent videogames can alter brain function in healthy young men after just a week of play, depressing activity among regions associated with emotional control, researchers at Indiana University recently reported. Other studies have found an association between compulsive gaming and being overweight, introverted and prone to depression. The studies didn't compare the benefits of gaming with such downsides.
The violent action games that often worry parents most had the strongest beneficial effect on the brain. "These are not the games you would think are mind-enhancing," said cognitive neuroscientist Daphne Bavelier, who studies the effect of action games at Switzerland's University of Geneva and the University of Rochester in New York.
...
A three-year study of 491 middle school students found that the more children played computer games the higher their scores on a standardized test of creativity—regardless of race, gender, or the kind of game played. The researchers ranked students on a widely used measure called the Torrance Test of Creativity, which involves such tasks as drawing an "interesting and exciting" picture from a curved shape on a sheet of paper, giving the picture a title, and then writing a story about it. The results were ranked by seven researchers for originality, length, and complexity on a standardized three-point scale for each factor, along with detailed questionnaires.
In contrast, using cellphones, the Internet, or computers for other purposes had no effect on creativity, they said.
"Much to my surprise, it didn't matter whether you were playing aggressive games or sport games, not a bit," said psychologist Linda Jackson, who led the federally funded study of 491 boys and girls at 20 Michigan schools.
Excepts from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marjorie-hansen-shaevitz/video-games-good-kids_b_1974015.html
1. In clinical trials, video games have been shown (http://ow.ly/esS5y) to outperform medication for dealing with anxiety and depression. What's more, games help young people become more resilient in overcoming physical, emotional and social challenges.
2. Most video game involvement is both social and cooperative because young people build relationships as they play with friends, acquaintances and even strangers. It has also been found that students who play games with their parents feel closer to them.
3. Unbelievably, ADHD symptoms are lessened (http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/798.html) when gamers who have attention deficit problems play their favorite video games. In addition, gamers with Autism Spectrum Disorder (http://www.theledger.com/article/20120520/NEWS/120529985)seem to increase their social intelligence after playing these games.
4. Apparently, kids who play games develop remarkable logical thinking, problem solving, observational, strategic, multi-tasking and visual skills.
5. Unlike video games, McGonigal says that today's real world is often missing something. Research shows (http://ow.ly/esTLy) that a good video game offers four key elements in having a happy, meaningful life: satisfying labor, hope for success, a strong social connection with other people and the opportunity to be a part of something larger than yourself.
I recently watched a countdown of top video games and reviewers (male and female) talked about doing just that--weekends long, barely eating, blasting away--and they seemed bright-eyed and unscathed. The trick is knowing when it's a problem. Always the rub.I once spent 3 days straight playing Tetris of all things with no breaks to eat, sleep, bath, feed the dogs, and probably forgot to even go to the bathroom (have to change the name of "Call of Duty" to "Call of Doody" :-)!). So I completely ban any kind of video game from my life and home except when I am visiting some geek-friends to play Halo (shades of "Big Bang Theory") which is violent, followed by terrible sci-fi movies. I find video games completely addictive whether violent or not so, if I were a parent, I would limit their use greatly.
As for the OP talking to her friend about her feelings on the game, I agree she should feel free to speak her mind. But she can do that with tact and concern rather then coming from an angry or indignate stance. The friend, grandma to the 12 year old boy, may not even realize that Black Ops (a new version of the Call of Duty game) is violent. So starting with the questions ("have you watched the game? Do you realize it's pretty violent and gory?") to the grandma may be what the OP should ask before deriding her choice to let her grandson play. In any case it could open up a friendly conversation on the subject and the OP could then judge just how open to banning those kinds of games from her grandsons life she would be.
You are a panic, Spartana!!! ROTFLMAO!
I miss you (A LOT) when you aren't around.
not every kid's going to turn into a mass murderer by playing these games, but most of the profiles of the killers shows they were enamored with the games and spent many hours blowing people away in cyberspace prior to their acts.
. But many kids who play those same games also become some of the greatest technological and scientific minds around when they grow up. The same kid who plays Halo, Zombie Apocylpse, or Call of Duty, may just be the geek that invents something new and wonderful for society. Not saying that I support violent video games for children under 18 as I don't generally, just saying that becoming a crazy mass shooter or serial killer isn't always the outcome.
My nephew got a Resident Evil (zombie killing) video game from his father's (DHs brother) new girlfriend. I am more troubled by the overall presence of this woman (not a good lifestyle, unstable, etc) than the game but we didn't think this graphic game was appropriate for a 7 year old. . I haven't seen the game yet but just watched the newest Resident Evil movie and if the game is anything like the movie it is definetly not a game (or movies) for 7 years olds.
Call of Duty Black Ops is rated "Mature" which means you need to be 17+ to buy it. It's the same as the kid asking for a rated R movie for a gift. A parent's responsibility is looking at the ESRB rating and then deciding if they are going to break the rating's suggestion and buy it for a younger child or wait until they are older. Most mature rated games are rated such for violence, gore or language. As someone that plays video games on a regular basis, I think it's okay for someone to say that they saw the rating and they didn't feel comfortable buying it for a 12 year old. He's not even old enough to buy T rated games which are for 13+. =P
http://www.esrb.org/ratings/ratings_guide.jsp
As for causing violence I don't necessarily think that's true. I can think of plenty of good, kind, and well adjusted people that also tend to love violent games and movies. (for the adrenaline rush or competition normally) But I whole-heartedly 100% agree that we need to be teaching our children etiquette, manners and just general respect decency for other humans. It just drives me crazy when someone can't even say thank you or if they only think about themselves =(
I can't really put my finger on why, but there seems to me to be quite a difference between the live-action "cowboys and indians" games I played in the woods and fields and streets of my youth, and the solitary video-game experience of today.
We played as groups, with teams, with the same kids we played football and hockey and baseball with.
Sitting alone playing a much more immersive, fast-paced video-game seems to me a very very different thing. Exposing a 12-year-old developing neural network to such things just seems ill-advised in so many ways.I think it's often the "alone-ness" that kids who play single-player games suffer from more so then the content of the game. That and the lack of physical activities. That combination, being glued to a screen for hours and hours everyday, often alone with no human contact, friendships, or activities, seems to breed more problems then groups of kids playing video games together where they at least interact together, laughing, shouting, etc... sort of like if they were all in a room together watching a football game.
You are a panic, Spartana!!! ROTFLMAO!
I miss you (A LOT) when you aren't around.Thanks!!! I was off trying to ski but ended up with a cold instead. Oh well... at least I had an excuse to continue my holiday binge eating. You know...feed a cold. Although cakes, cookies and pies probably wasn't what they meant when they said that :-)!
Yeah I agree with you there Spartana, and unfortunately the multi-player aspects of a bunch of the violent games is can start a lot of hostile talk towards one another, some of this is just "talking smack" but some of it is really hurtful and actually there's been a lot of press this last year about the harassment women have been getting for playing these games online. If you want to even see just a handful of the comments... a few girls have set up a website exposing this.
http://fatuglyorslutty.com/
Yeah I agree with you there Spartana, and unfortunately the multi-player aspects of a bunch of the violent games is can start a lot of hostile talk towards one another, some of this is just "talking smack" but some of it is really hurtful and actually there's been a lot of press this last year about the harassment women have been getting for playing these games online. If you want to even see just a handful of the comments... a few girls have set up a website exposing this.
http://fatuglyorslutty.com/Yeah I've seen some of those kind of comments before but assumed it was from fatpimplyunattractivecan'tgetanyteenageboyslivingi ntheirMom'sbasement types :-)! Halo is pretty clean in that way but there is some trash talking banter (including the guys I play with but non-offensive trash talking banter and we are i the same room together physically doing the multi-player thing so I can smack them if they bug me :-)) but I haven't ventured into the other realms of gaming and probably won't no matter how temping they are. Just too addictive to me.
This book may be of some interest.
http://www.amazon.com/Killing-Monsters-Children-Make-Believe-Violence/dp/0465036961
I think it's often the "alone-ness" that kids who play single-player games suffer from more so then the content of the game.
So I was checking in on my son and noticed whatever game he was playing actually had a Skype kind of connectivity. For a lot of games they have their headsets so their teams can all talk together but now it's got cameras too so they can all see each other. Not as good as a scrum in the front yard but actally more connected than some other options.
So I was checking in on my son and noticed whatever game he was playing actually had a Skype kind of connectivity. For a lot of games they have their headsets so their teams can all talk together but now it's got cameras too so they can all see each other. Not as good as a scrum in the front yard but actually more connected than some other options.I've heard that and I bet it makes it interesting. Although I like the anonymity of being an unknown avatar it myself (is she really like the sultry warrior she plays or just some beefy guy in a pizza stained sweatsuit scratching various body parts :-)!). But it's nice to see some interaction between friends even if it is remotely. Although nothing beats hanging out with your friends playing basketball or riding bikes in the great outdoors!
Interesting article Artist. Will have to read it more carefully as I just skimmed it. I think that we all had Superman and Wonder Woman et al for our heros growing up, and the "monsters" they fought were a bit tamer then today's monsters - at least less bloody and demented - and so past heros were more civilized themselves compared to heros then today!
I wonder when people give people guns (as I was at age 10 and became a very good shot), who is it they want their kid to grow up to shoot (unless they do it before they grow up)? Animals--what animal would it be okay with you for that animal to kill your kid? I usually say these views only to others I know agree. But I wish I said it to those who haven't thought of it that way. I have had very violent relatives (one uncle was a hired gun most of his adult life, another had all his kids keep guns under their beds) and known a number of others who died by gunfire, their own or someone else's. I don't think there's any way owning a gun or violent videos tell kids anything but that killing's okay. Our government glorifies our killing and maiming and those of our soldiers who get killed or maimed. How are our kids to learn respect for human life, therefore their own too?
How are our kids to learn respect for human life, therefore their own too?
A very popular well-studied book in our culture advises us to turn both cheeks toward our enemies -- after it spends just as much (if not more) time recounting the deaths of thousands (including innocent children) by the hands of the elect in the name of destiny.
Yours is a tough question to answer.
I wonder when people give people guns (as I was at age 10 and became a very good shot), who is it they want their kid to grow up to shoot (unless they do it before they grow up)? Animals--what animal would it be okay with you for that animal to kill your kid? I think most people shoot, and learn to shoot, for sport, hobby and target practice - some for hunting or for self-protection maybe. It's a hobby for many, like archery, that takes a lot skill and accuracy to master well. Not to kill people or even to hunt. It is a hobby for most - and for many of us who target shoot, a very fun hobby having nothing to do with killing anything ever. I also like archery and did it while in high school. Never intended it to kill anyone or anything with that either. But I agree that violent video games don't teach children those kinds of skills. Only live fire target practice (or achery practice) teaches the hobby aspect of shooting.
what animal would it be okay with you for that animal to kill your kid?
I would think most parents would say "none" but maybe I don't undertand the question?
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