View Full Version : Hearing aid - broaching the subject
My MIL & her sister need hearing aids. They are beginning to have difficulty hearing a normal conversation, which in their house is loud anyway. Do doctors do hearing checks unasked? What is the procedure for getting one - a prescription? And finally, how do you gently suggest to someone who thinks she's still back in the 1960s that she needs one?
Mrs. Hermit
12-26-12, 5:00pm
My step-mother finally told my Dad he was answering questions no one asked. That got him willing to make an audiology appointment to get his hearing aids.
SteveinMN
12-26-12, 7:30pm
My MiL was highly resistant to getting hearing aids. She started responding to questions and commenting on conversations in an accidentally-comical fashion because she could not track who said what. Finally, one Christmas, her grandkids were talking about some movie star's antics, and she asked, "Who's a skinhead clown??" Everybody laughed but her, but the grandkids laughing at her question is what finally drove her to the audiologist. Fear of being seen as irrelevant can be a powerful motivator.
treehugger
12-26-12, 7:40pm
My MIL needs hearing aids, too. We have broached the subject with her (she's been slowly losing her hearing since her 40s) but she simply claims that they don't work and are too expensive. End of subject! *sigh* We do try to speak loudly and clearly around her, but it's still very difficult to have a conversation.
Kara
It took a mixup in communication for me to realize that I needed hearing aids. I also had to turn up the sound on the TV. There are lists of questions that indicate the need for a hearing test. If someone meets most of them, suggest just a hearing test to see where the hearing loss may be.
Often the consonants are the hardest to hear and if one does not get the first word in a sentence, it is very hard to make sense of the conversation.
It felt that I was admitting that I was getting very old to admit that I needed a hearing test and then hearing aids. I rebelled against that idea. So, it may not be the hearing test itself that is the problem but ideas associated with hearing loss.
Hope that you can work out a solution as the result is worth it. Hearing in not perfect but vastly improved with hearing aids and they are much more discreet than just a few years ago.
dado potato
12-27-12, 2:41am
Be careful with where you leave a hearing aid. Dogs seem to have a perverse interest in eating them.
Wildflower
12-27-12, 3:57am
Be careful with where you leave a hearing aid. Dogs seem to have a perverse interest in eating them.
Yes, they do! A friend of mine lost both of her hearing aids to her dog! She's very careful where she leaves them now...
I have quite a bit of hearing loss in my right ear. Family is trying to convince me to get a hearing aid now. I'm considering it since I miss so much of a conversation these days that it is very frustrating. I've been dealing with this hearing loss since I was a kid, but it has gotten so much worse in the past year....like everything else falling apart on my body. :0!
shadowmoss
12-27-12, 9:32am
My Mom went out and got very expensive (to me) hearing aids. It seemed funny because my Dad had hearing aids and constantly had issues and finally in his last years just quit wearing them. I wondered seriously if I should have a talk with her about finances when I heard she spent $5K on them. But, they are not even noticable, they are 'programmable' so she could leave them to me in her will if she wished, and she actually wears them. Do be careful about a 'replacement warranty' if you get some, because she lost one and found out there was a $200 deductable as it was insurance rather than a true replacement warranty. All that said, I am getting to where I need to look into them myself. It's on the list. And I will most likely go for one more like Mom's than the larger, cheaper ones my Dad had.
catherine
12-27-12, 9:43am
My DH definitely needs hearing aids. He cannot hear high frequency pitches at all--so if the microwave food is done, he never hears the beep. If we have a young waitress with a high-pitched voice, he always looks at me to "translate" what she said. The TV is turned way up. He comes out with sometimes funny malapropisms a la Emily LaTella based on what he thought we said.
He knows he needs them, but they are expensive! So, 5k seems to be the price for a decent pair? Anyone else have any experience in pricing them?
Gardenarian
12-27-12, 2:22pm
Hi -
The usual process is to see an audiologist who will test your hearing and determine the extent of hearing loss. They will then try a number of different hearing aid styles, volumes, & frequencies to determine what will work best for you. Hearing aids come in a wide range of prices and the most expensive will not necessarily be the best one for your needs.
Unless you have an implant of some sort, hearing aids are rarely covered by insurance, but they can usually be returned within a few months for a complete refund.
There are various conditions that can impair hearing that can not be improved by hearing aids.
I have 100% sensorineural hearing loss in one ear and ~25% loss in the other with severe tinnitus, hyperacusis, and recruitment. (I miss a lot of what is going on.) I am unable to use a hearing aid, though in a year or two I may be able to get an implant. In the meantime, I really appreciate everyone's patience with my difficulties.
Be careful with where you leave a hearing aid. Dogs seem to have a perverse interest in eating them.
Ha Ha! I've been wearing hearing aids since I was in my late 20's and lost most of my hearing due to injury while in the service (and hearing is still bad even with hearing aids) and my dog has eaten a couple of mine so I am very careful to keep them away. I get mine free thru the VA hospital so it doesn't cost me anything to replace them, but I think you can buy insurance from a hearing aid manufacturer to cover the cost to replace them if lost of broken...or eaten :-)!
As far as getting someone - an older person especially - to get them I think it's pretty hard. Since they normally don't have the same work or social life a younger person with hearing loss hs, they are not as aware of how disfunctional they are. So even with gentle coaxing, they may not feel they need them. Especially when they can be pretty expensive. Nothing you can really do except be firm with them and let them know that their hearing problem is much bigger then they think it is and hope they can see that too.
I have to repeat1/2 of what I say to DH. I say something he he says, "Beg your pardon?''Sometimes I think it's that his mind is on its own track is the problem Sometimes I tell him I'm going to stop repeating when he asks for it. It doesn't bother him at all that he doesn't hear a lot of stuff. But I also believe that however long he lives, he'll never get hearing aids--he can't even stand wearing watch. Maybe sign language will be the way to go.
I have to repeat1/2 of what I say to DH. I say something he he says, "Beg your pardon?''Sometimes I think it's that his mind is on its own track is the problem Sometimes I tell him I'm going to stop repeating when he asks for it. It doesn't bother him at all that he doesn't hear a lot of stuff. But I also believe that however long he lives, he'll never get hearing aids--he can't even stand wearing watch. Maybe sign language will be the way to go."Pardon?" is my most used word :-)! For those of us with hearing loss it is very hard to understand what others say unless they are looking directly at us and we can sort of read your lips. Most people I have found sort of just talk behind us, to the side of us, etc... not realizing that the sound of their voice is moving away from us and not toward it. So even if it seems like we aren't paying attention, it really is just that we can't hear you even start to speak - let alone have a conversation. Even with hearing aids I have to deal with a lot of social issues with other people. Especially because I lost my hearing so young and people in general are less understanding of hearing loss in younger people then they are of older people. People get seriously snippy and snappish around me if I can't understand what they are saying. Even those who know me - like family. And strangers can be just as bad. I realize that it's just their frustrations coming out, but it is hard on us non-hearing people. I find myself not as engaged with "conversational" activities as I'd probably like to be just because I can't handle other people's frustration and angst at my hearing loss. It does require some patience to deal with. So for those of you having a friend or loved one with hearing loss, please try to be patient and understanding as it's even more frustrating for us then it is for you guys. Of course you do get to scream at us behind our backs as loud as you want and we'll never hear ya :-)!
Even with hearing aids I have to deal with a lot of social issues with other people. Especially because I lost my hearing so young and people in general are less understanding of hearing loss in younger people then they are of older people.
I think (hope?) this will be changing soon owing to the number of younger people who are suffering significant hearing loss from loud earphones, house-shaking car stereos, and the general increased level of electronic noise. As someone whose life goal is to be the guy in the nursing home who is not always asking, "Huh? What did you say?", I find the sound levels at movie theaters, concerts, and sports events high enough to be uncomfortable (I bring earplugs), and I am always patrolling the TV remote during commercials because they are so freakin' loud relative to the dialog on the show. If people need things to be that loud in general, hearing loss apparently is far wider spread than before, and so there will be more understanding.
So for those of you having a friend or loved one with hearing loss, please try to be patient and understanding as it's even more frustrating for us then it is for you guys.
In my first marriage, my wife and I had several friends who were profoundly Hard of Hearing or Deaf. We learned ASL (to at least some degree) and to make sure we were facing our friends when speaking with them. Yes, it makes a difference.
But I think for many people who don't need hearing assistance, the frustration is in part the HOH person's insistence that there is no problem (viz my MiL) or that the solution (hearing aids) is not viable (too $$$). It's one thing to need accommodation for something you can't help (my family member's wheelchair, for instance) and another to need accommodation for something you can. Mr. Magoo made an entire animation comedy out of not seeing anything without his glasses; real life ain't that funny. For either party.
I hear ya Steve :-)! I agree that it is hard to feel sympathy and be understanding for those people who can afford hearing aids but don't get them because they either don't think they need them, or just don't care. My Mom was like that and it WAS frustrating even for me. Although she didn't have the money to buy them, and wouldn't let us kids help, so I did cut her some slack. Although your future world vision of all of us screaming at each is scary! Hopefully it won't come to that.
Generally you just need a referal for an audiologist. From there they can determine if a hearing aid is needed. One thing to keep in mind is that they cost thousands of dollars and many insurance companies do not provide coverage if if they do they provide little coverage. I have coverage for $1500 per hearing aid once every three years. My one hearing aid costs $2700.
Generally you just need a referal for an audiologist. From there they can determine if a hearing aid is needed. One thing to keep in mind is that they cost thousands of dollars and many insurance companies do not provide coverage if if they do they provide little coverage. I have coverage for $1500 per hearing aid once every three years. My one hearing aid costs $2700. I think the cost is probably what prevents most people from getting them. I get mine free thru the VA/military because I lost my hearing in the service but they cost over #3000 each so I would hesitate to shell out $6000 if I had to buy them myself. I don't understand why they aren't covered by medical insurance since most prosetics are.
I don't understand why [hearing aids] aren't covered by medical insurance since most prosetics are.
But other prosthetics typically are not covered at 100%, either. I can't speak to VA benefits. But our (good) health plan will only cover maybe $150 or so for eyeglasses every other year -- which doesn't quite cover one lens for me, nevermind the other lens and a not-extravagant frame at a chain optician. A friend of mine with largely-similar insurance lost a leg to diabetes and got a "good-enough" prosthetic leg but it had its "issues" in usability -- issues which would have been reduced greatly with a better (more expensive) prosthetic. Similarly, not every hearing aid is a $3000 device, though the highly-usable ones do run that high.
I "get" that hearing aids are not the cheapest widely-used prosthetics. But there are some options besides full list price. And not having them when you need them still is frustrating.
I looked at the prices in Costco and they seemed pretty reasonable - and varied.I don't know if they are partially covered by insurance or not though. I imagine that with all the trsting, etc... it can all get pretty expensive without insurance. I don't think the VA covers hearing aids unless you lost your hearing thru a service-connected incident while on the job, but they do have some fancy ones themselves. My hearing aids aren't super fancy because I have small ears and some inner ear scarring so can't get the adjustable kind or the invisible inner ear kind, but they look OK and function OK for the most part. I would be lost without them and it sort of befuddles me that people who can afford them - or have insurance that covers the cost - don't get them. They aren't like natural hearing (at least not the kind I have) but they are certainly better then being near deaf. I'm still pretty hard of hearing with them as I need to keep the closed captioning on thr TV when I watch and need to be spoken too face-on, but I can't imagine how someone - maybe an elderly person who slowly lost their hearing over time - can't recognise their level of loss. Maybe it's a pride thing.
Just a question that is related to hearing aid issues - are there doorbellls or sound alarm systems that could be installed as the regular doorbell is pretty quiet and I know that I often don't hear ours when it rings if the TV or radio are playing? Is this a topic for its own thread?
Just a question that is related to hearing aid issues - are there doorbellls or sound alarm systems that could be installed as the regular doorbell is pretty quiet and I know that I often don't hear ours when it rings if the TV or radio are playing? Is this a topic for its own thread?Yes. Most places like Lowes or Home Depo carry them. You could also look at your state or county which often have free things available for hearing and sight impaired people. Here in Calif the state offers things like free phones with loud ringers or flashing lights (also doorbells) for hearing impaired, phones large numbers for sight impaired, voice activated dialinfg, etc... and free TDY machines and services - all for no cost. Just need to submit a doctors note. Maybe other states have them as well. I think it's called The Deaf and Disabled Telecommunications Program (DDTP) here.
Gardenarian
1-6-13, 3:53pm
"Pardon?" is my most used word :-)! For those of us with hearing loss it is very hard to understand what others say unless they are looking directly at us and we can sort of read your lips. Most people I have found sort of just talk behind us, to the side of us, etc... not realizing that the sound of their voice is moving away from us and not toward it. So even if it seems like we aren't paying attention, it really is just that we can't hear you even start to speak - let alone have a conversation. Even with hearing aids I have to deal with a lot of social issues with other people. Especially because I lost my hearing so young and people in general are less understanding of hearing loss in younger people then they are of older people. People get seriously snippy and snappish around me if I can't understand what they are saying. Even those who know me - like family. And strangers can be just as bad. I realize that it's just their frustrations coming out, but it is hard on us non-hearing people. I find myself not as engaged with "conversational" activities as I'd probably like to be just because I can't handle other people's frustration and angst at my hearing loss. It does require some patience to deal with. So for those of you having a friend or loved one with hearing loss, please try to be patient and understanding as it's even more frustrating for us then it is for you guys. Of course you do get to scream at us behind our backs as loud as you want and we'll never hear ya :-)!
You said everything I'm feeling Spartana!! Thank you! :+1:
You said everything I'm feeling Spartana!! Thank you! :+1: I'm still trying to find a way to deal with strangers who start talking to me - or want to get past me and I don't hear them or their "excuse me". My sister jokes that she's going to get me a hot pink tee shirt with the words "Deaf Chick" printed on the back (and a picture of a ear with a red line drawn thru it) to wear when I go running. That way when people want to pass me they know I can't hear them - especially since I don't wear my hearing aids when I run. Of course if I just ran faster I guess I wouldn't have the problem :-)!
That way when people want to pass me they know I can't hear them - especially since I don't wear my hearing aids when I run.
Would you consider wearing a pair of earphones (not little ear buds people may not see, but obvious headphones) without any sound pumped through them? That would be a sign to people that you may not hear them.
Would you consider wearing a pair of earphones (not little ear buds people may not see, but obvious headphones) without any sound pumped through them? That would be a sign to people that you may not hear them.What a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? I will try it and see if it works - can't see why it won't - and hopefully people wopn't think I'm just being rude when I don't respond to them. Now if I only did that with my ex-MIL..:-)!
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