View Full Version : so glad to be back at work today
Really, I know most people would love as much time off as I just got, and it was great to not be stressed about holidays, but still I am so glad to be back among the living. My kids are 15, 19, and 22 so staying up all night and sleeping all day has been the norm. I stopped even trying, so most days I spent alone in a VERY quiet house. My 2 friends in town are both preparing for surgery so I didn't do anything social other than see visiting family. And my kids did have a great time I can say, my son had his wisdom teeth out and felt good enough for friends to come and play marathons of video games. Everyone had friends for new years eve and other things.
My oldest however is always a challenge. I am trying pretty darn hard here. She is up still (it is 7 am here) and does not sleep really. So pretty much every day the household manager jobs I leave for her get about half done, The irritating issue right now is the box of gifts going to her baby (that was adopted). It is still sitting here. First she had to finish a drawing. She had ordered a gift online and got it in plenty of time, and I had my gift ready a long time ago. So then it has been sitting and I started nagging to get it sent. So Monday when she wakes up at 2 pm I ask her about sending it and this whole time she thought I said I was going to send it. NO!! She just keeps saying that and I tell her I never said that because I never intended to and besides why would I work all day, cook and clean and then send the gift as well. That gets a blank stare. She has a car now, she has access to medical care for the insomnia, she has a paycheck, so I am just rather frustrated at this point. As my friend says 'gotta love her', yes I do. She is a great kid in many ways but she simply does not do very much work.
In any case I get the next 3 days with kids and staff I work well with!
I hear ya. Same issues going on at my house. My family: me, husband, 20 and 22 year old sons. I'm the only one working. My husband is hurt and kids are trying to find jobs since it's all done online now it's hard to know. This sleeping all day is really irritating me. I'm thinking about cutting out comcast for a month. There will be no tv or internet so they'll have nothing to keep them up all night.
My two sons (ages 16 and 19) do that too! It drives me crazy. I'll be faced in the morning with a pile of dirty dishes in the sink because one decided to fix himself "dinner" in the middle of the night. However, the oldest leaves to Saturday to go back to college and the youngest starts back to school on monday so the problem will fix itself.
While I'm always glad to be back to my routine, I sure did enjoy sleeping in for the 10 days I was off. The alarm this morning at 6AM was waaaayy too early and now I'm at work, half asleep and trying to wade through email.
I guess I am glad I am not the only one, I did come home from work and yell at her again (I don't think I scream or anything). I have a dragon puppet I brought to work to tell a story to kids with and a couple kids and a couple parents asked where to get one. Well I make them and we are supposed to have an etsy shop to sell them, however not one photograph has been taken at this point. That is her job and she has not had work or school or much of anything besides some housework for over a month.
Then I check facebook to see how my brother is doing and she is complaining about how she is sick of getting yelled at by me for stupid sh**. That was her reaction to me saying if she does not mail the package I will take out my gift and just mail my own, and she still is saying most of the miscommunication is my fault (publicly on facebook is NOT cool besides being wrong).
I can't wait until tomorrow on facebook, I think I had just better open my own etsy shop without her honestly. We obviously cannot work a business together.
She needs to move out. ;)
She needs to move out. ;)
ZG's daughter has had a horrible year. I would definitely kick her out at some point, but I think it is great that ZG is putting up daughter for a time. It is disheartening that daughter is not taking advantage of this time while she receives a paycheck but is not working. How long will that go on I wonder? She sounds immature and probably depressed and who knows what else, but at some point this situation is no longer mom's problem to solve.
And when she's gone the only thing I would pay for is world class birth control for the daughter to use, state of the art.
Definitely depressed, and she needs to take care of it. Also I think ADD that went untreated when she was younger. She does well in highly sructured environments so she does well at her job, but without that she pretty much doesn't get things done as much.
They did plan all the meals last night for the next 2 weeks! And I noticed she had mailed the package I nagged about as well. Still, the kids at winter camp are a nice group.
Sympathies, ZG.
Can you sit down calmly with your daughter and say something to the effect of "Hey, this isn't working -- we need to address it." Not blaming her or pointing fingers, but confronting the situation honestly and acknowledging that things can't continue to go on this way? She needs to pull herself together and get on with life. While I understand that the last year has been very traumatic for her, she needs to find a way to move on and get launched into adulthood. I would also reference the Facebook thing in a calm way. If she has a problem with you (or anyone), she needs to learn to address that with you.
My kids are only 11 and 7, so haven't quite dealt with the whole "prepare to launch" thing, but I do find that when there are tensions and issues that are affecting our relationships the ONLY thing that works is to sit down like this and talk things through. Doesn't always resolve things, but even at their ages it helps to give everyone a platform to have their say and thing about how to move forward. And then it is a joint responsibility, not just falling on the shoulders of one party.
Good luck and be kind to yourself during this difficult time. You and your kids will get through this.
lhamo
Sympathies, ZG.
Can you sit down calmly with your daughter and say something to the effect of "Hey, this isn't working -- we need to address it." Not blaming her or pointing fingers, but confronting the situation honestly and acknowledging that things can't continue to go on this way? She needs to pull herself together and get on with life. While I understand that the last year has been very traumatic for her, she needs to find a way to move on and get launched into adulthood. I would also reference the Facebook thing in a calm way. If she has a problem with you (or anyone), she needs to learn to address that with you.
My kids are only 11 and 7, so haven't quite dealt with the whole "prepare to launch" thing, but I do find that when there are tensions and issues that are affecting our relationships the ONLY thing that works is to sit down like this and talk things through. Doesn't always resolve things, but even at their ages it helps to give everyone a platform to have their say and thing about how to move forward. And then it is a joint responsibility, not just falling on the shoulders of one party.
Good luck and be kind to yourself during this difficult time. You and your kids will get through this.
lhamo
Thanks for letting me vent, I may say something about the facebook thing. She did go back to work yesterday so she should be really tired now. I will not see her very often now that she works and how our days are quite opposite. However she DID do all the tasks I left for her and had a much better general feeling about her on Thursday. One issue was mailing this package so I stopped with saying it was too much toexpect me to do that on top of everything else and instead just said I knew she was more than capable of doing it. She said something about me holding back on the location of the post office or how much it would cost. I got a chance to explain that I am not holding anything back, I don't know where our new post office is in this neighborhood, no one really knows a shipping charge before they get to the PO and again said that she could handle it very well. So maybe there is something to that. Some people procrastinate and say it is perfectionism and that is not always true. I can see that she will not do something if she thinks she will be teased or emotionally beat down in some way. She really hasn't been in good places the last few years.
Both of my girls are having this interesting thing as they move into being a grownup. They think that we know everything and exactly how it will go, there are no surprises for me so that is how I handle things well. However it is nice opportunity to show them that grown up life is filled with choices that are not always clear and so you just learn a whole bunch of skills to take care of things. Just being open to sharing that is vastly different than the way I was raised and the way dad interacts with them.
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