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View Full Version : Impetus for me to declutter my own life



LilyB
1-13-13, 10:20pm
My fairly healthy Mom just suffered a stroke. She may recover partially with some therapy, but she will never again be able to live in her own home.

Today I was at her home trying to make some order out of her accumulated stuff. He house is very neat; however it is filled with neatly stored things. You can't even walk in the full attic because of stacks of bins and tubs. The basement is filled with her collectibles and pots and dishes, and everything is carefully packed and labeled. Her housekeeper helped her to keep just about anything she wished to by storing it neatly for her.

I am sad, confused, worried, and overwhelmed right now since I need to concentrate on my Mom; yet I am faced with trying to get the house together for a future sale.

I inherited my Mom's pack rat tendencies, although I have to admit I am certainly not as neat as she about it. :|(

I promised myself I will not do this to my own children. While I have made great strides in getting rid of junk, there is still much that can go and never be missed. When I stopped at my home today, I started packing a box of nice "junque" for the hospital resale shop. Two bags of plain "junk" are now in the trash.:D

Tradd
1-13-13, 10:46pm
Well, you have to admit that your mom's "neat pack rack" tendencies will make it much easier to deal with her things! ;-)

iris lily
1-13-13, 11:21pm
I see this so often, people who are paralyzed by the size of the job of getting rid of her stuff.

You do not have to touch each thing. Pull out the main things: the essential papers, a few pieces of furniture and kitchenware that would furnish her new, small place, the few most important mementos. Then, walk away from it. Hire someone to dispose of it in the most labor free way possible.

I wish you well. You can make this as easy (which it is not,!) or as difficult (very, very difficult and time consuming) as you like. Please remember it is a choice how you deal with this, and options abound.

My mother died at age 86. While my brother and I had an easier time of clearing out her house than you had, if he weren't involved I would have done exactly what I suggest in my 2nd paragraph. My brother wanted to try to "sell stuff" and I told him: fine with me, you sell it, you get the money, I want no part of it. Fortunately she didn't have craploads of stuff, having moved twice prior to this house.

bUU
1-14-13, 6:05am
My mother was similar and I pledge to not be that way. I've worked to attach more so to people than things. Things are tools. Tools not used are wastes of space. Empty space is more valuable than space filled with things not being used.

I convinced my spouse to work with me in the basement this past weekend, to go through the kitchen stuff there and separate out the garbage (toss 'em!), the things we're likely not to use anytime over the next five years (donate 'em!), and the things we need to keep (clean 'em and package them in plastic see-through containers for easy retrieval). I heard my spouse mutter, "Feels like we're preparing to die." I replied, "No: We're preparing to live - live with less clutter! If we were preparing to die, we'd just leave it - let the next generation pore through it."

pinkytoe
1-14-13, 11:28am
Sorry for what you are going through. I had to "handle" the estates of my father, brother and mother within a two year span. I was only 35 at the time, but it made a very strong impression on me about what we leave behind. My older brother was very detached about the whole process and did as Iris said. I had to take my time with some of the things because of the emotional side of it - I just wasn't ready to let go. After a few months though of paying for a storage unit and being away from the stuff, I could let it go. I ended up with a few pieces of furniture and a small memory box for each. The piano was the hardest to let go. Eventually, we just took some photos and sold it to an aspiring musician where it actually got some use.

LilyB
1-17-13, 2:14pm
Tradd: You'll appreciate this one: Several bins in the garage are labeled "Things to Sort"!:) Also some of the stuff in labeled in Polish which means it is my Grandma's and she died over 40 years ago.

Thanks for the good advice. My sister and I have decided to sit back for awhile and concentrate on Mom.

The hoarder gene skipped her, so I think I will let her deal with a lot of it. I know I will be finding "treasures" that will only add to my own clutter. I think my sister and daughter realize this since they BOTH volunteered to handle the stuff.:|(