Gender Reveal events

[iris lily]

Pregnancy announcements, baby showers, dramatic birthing events, christenings--these aren't enough to celebrate a new life in the world. Now there is "Gender Reveal" party. I kid you not, Google it! There is an expectant mom on a website I visit whining because her inlaw family members will not be attending her Gender Reveal party.

Maybe we can blame reality TV. Everyone has to have a starring role in life now, and each weekly episode has to have a highlight event and a b*tchfest.

[razz]

For some reason, this struck me as an absolutely hilarious announcement to make. There is some margin for error the last I heard.

[ctg492]

Guess I am old. The other that perhaps was a bit set back by was a "Diaper Party" invitation my son showed me. It was a hand written paper copied and passed out at work, that went something like this: Give $10 and a bag of diapers to help welcome our new baby into the world. $10 covers the beer and food. Bon Fire and Music.

Great the little person will be welcomed into the world with red plastic cups of beer, I found that sad.

[JaneV2.0]

We used to call that "flashing."

[BarbieGirl]

Wow, how self absorbed that soon to be mom is! Boy, is she in for a rude awakening about the realities of parenting. I actually kind of feel sorry for her in an odd way.

I think you are right about too much reality tv! So many more people feel so very much more entitled! Sad, really.

[Miss Cellane]

This is one of those things that I think is rather silly, but as long as no one expects me to plan one, or pay for one, then I don't care if other people have them. If I were invited to one and there was cake, I'd probably attend. >8)

But it does seem as if people are trying to make "events" out of things that were just ordinary things 20 years ago. Heck, 50 years ago, the "gender reveal" didn't happen until the baby was born. But it is almost as if ordinary life isn't good enough for people now, there have to be events and parties and special occasions on a regular basis. And the more special occasions you have, the less special they seem and you have to keep upping the ante to feel special.

There was a story I read when I was a kid. The little girl who was the main character wanted it to be Christmas every day and somehow her wish got granted. And as Christmas Day followed Christmas Day, everyone started to get tired of Christmas. Once Christmas was all the time, it wasn't special anymore.

And I do blame reality shows for a lot of this. The producers aren't just filming the day to day lives of these people--they create situations so that they'll have something interesting to film. As a result, you don't see the cast just going to work and making dinner and watching TV--they go on trips, they have big, blow-out parties, they are constantly doing something that will create TV ratings. And some people are going to think that their lives should be like that, so they create situations for more parties, more celebrations. They want to be those reality TV stars, and that means that if MIL doesn't come to the gender reveal party, they get upset.

[iris lily]

I don't have anything against having a silly party for any random reason, in fact, those are the fun kinds of parties. Nothing wrong with parties and as Miss Cellane says, cake. Cake is good. Wine is better.

It's the "this is now the norm and everyone has to play their supporting role with me as the star" idea that makes me tired. This kind of thing becomes another social obligation. A Gender Reveal party would be interesting and fun if it were original.

[goldensmom]

Silly parties for any reason are fine with me as long as I don't have to give a gift for every frivolious event or, if invited, I am chastised for not attending.

[HomemadeChange]

My MIL says that finding out the sex of the baby at time of birth is one of life's last great suprises and asks why so many couples want to take that from themselves. Her words ring true to me. I think if and when the time comes we will wait.

[Bootsie]

Silly parties for any reason are fine with me as long as I don't have to give a gift for every frivolious event or, if invited, I am chastised for not attending.

Right on. If it's FUN, then please invite me. But over-done parties come with a load of obligations from the guests and a stressed out host/ess. I don't want more of those. But plain ol' fun for a silly reason sounds great....though I have to admit I'm not that excited to learn the gender of a baby.

[Miss Cellane]

I'll add that I would see this type of party as something to which the proud parents to be should invite only their nearest and dearest--the grandparents to be, future aunts and uncles and a couple of very close friends. A guest list of 50 people would be over-doing it a bit. Unless you have a huge family, I doubt all those people would be all that interested in the gender of someone else's baby.

And have you heard about the coy ways the gender is revealed at these parties? No one knows until the cake is cut and it is pink or blue. Or a box is opened and helium balloons of the appropriate color are released.

[Zoe Girl]

I cannot help but recall the couple who came into Target (I worked guest services and handled returns) and had EVERYTHING pink, it was all unwrapped and ready to go for the brand new baby. I think at least the crib was neutral. As they held the brand new baby BOY we returned or exchanged everything we possibly could. They had a good humor about it, and some relatives who helped with the huge job. I didn't find out about my children but my daughter found out the gender for her baby that was adopted.

[decemberlov]

I've heard about these and thought it was a cute idea. Have the ultrasound tech. write boy or girl on a piece of paper and give it to you in a sealed envelope, hand the envelope to the baker and have them do the inside of the cake either pink or blue. A cute way to be surprised yourself even if you want to find out ahead of time. I don't think there's any need for a separate party though...I would just think it would be incorporated into the baby shower or something. Or maybe a small little gathering for parents and siblings and grandparents.

[Spartana]

If I were invited to one and there was cake, I'd probably attend. >8)

Me too. Heck I'd attend my own lynching if there was cake! I'm not a big fan of showers of any kind - at least not traditional ones - so probably wouldn't be too thrilled to go to a reveal party or a naming party (do they have those?) That could be fun with every one writing a name and putting it in a basket and the new parents selecting one. But if it was a simple fun non-traditional mixed gender get together (i.e. no weird games and white gloves and fancy dresses and tea and china thing) and it had cake... and wine (champagne!) - I'd go. I'd even bring a gift - something gender neutral and very very tasteless :-)!

[Mighty Frugal]

My MIL says that finding out the sex of the baby at time of birth is one of life's last great suprises and asks why so many couples want to take that from themselves. Her words ring true to me. I think if and when the time comes we will wait.


+1 I totally agree with this. I was one of the rare ones and didn't find out the gender of either of my kids. It truly is one of the last (good) surprises in life and I wanted to just enjoy the guessing and wondering for the 9 months. And when the doctor announces 'it's a boy (or girl)' wow, nothing beats that!!

[Gregg]

Some friends of ours have a daughter who in the past year has been married and is now pregnant. We went to a couples shower, DW went to a bridal shower and a bachelorette party, I went to a groom's shower and a bachelor party, we obviously went to the wedding, then a couple's baby shower and DW has gone to a "Mommies" shower and a Dad's party is in the works. Now they are having a Gender Reveal party. Keep in mind that you are expected to bring a gift to each one of these events, let alone the actual birth of this baby. Never again. No mas. I do not know where all this crap got started, but it has now ended for me (and for DW except for a singular bridal and/or baby shower as needed).


ETA: There was cake at most of these, the one saving grace. There was also cheap beer and cheaper wine. Yuck.

[iris lily]

Some friends of ours have a daughter who in the past year has been married and is now pregnant. We went to a couples shower, DW went to a bridal shower and a bachelorette party, I went to a groom's shower and a bachelor party, we obviously went to the wedding, then a couple's baby shower and DW has gone to a "Mommies" shower and a Dad's party is in the works. Now they are having a Gender Reveal party. Keep in mind that you are expected to bring a gift to each one of these events, let alone the actual birth of this baby. Never again. No mas. I do not know where all this crap got started, but it has now ended for me (and for DW except for a singular bridal and/or baby shower as needed).



Yes, this is what I'm posting about, the increase of manufactured "traditions" or social norms. One shower, fine. The multiple events you catalog--no way I would participate. Mainly because those parties aren't any good, it's all about sitting around opening presents, yawn. The expectant mom I mentioned whined because her brother in law wouldn't drive 4 hours for The Revealing of the Gender. I'll bet he's thinking a phone call to him would relay that information, WTF is the big deal? And it's not as though it is a big surprise, there are only 2 choices.

[Miss Cellane]

Some friends of ours have a daughter who in the past year has been married and is now pregnant. We went to a couples shower, DW went to a bridal shower and a bachelorette party, I went to a groom's shower and a bachelor party, we obviously went to the wedding, then a couple's baby shower and DW has gone to a "Mommies" shower and a Dad's party is in the works. Now they are having a Gender Reveal party. Keep in mind that you are expected to bring a gift to each one of these events, let alone the actual birth of this baby. Never again. No mas. I do not know where all this crap got started, but it has now ended for me (and for DW except for a singular bridal and/or baby shower as needed).


ETA: There was cake at most of these, the one saving grace. There was also cheap beer and cheaper wine. Yuck.

Okay, yeah, that's way, way too many parties. You don't get three showers for one event--you get one. Choose if you want a couples shower or not, but you don't get both. That's a) rude and b) being a gimme pig, because you get presents at showers. Although I can see a bride getting a work shower and a friends shower and a friends of her MIL's shower--but the same people wouldn't be invited to all those showers. Just one.

For example, my sis and I threw a shower for my brother's fiance, so she could meet our side of the family. And her sister threw her one back home. And her office had a shower for her. But the only person who attended all three showers was my SIL. And SIL didn't want the showers at all--Sis and I were planning a nice lunch (with cake) but our plans got hijacked by another SIL who insisted on the shower.

And the rule is that your friends throw the shower for you (hence the bride with multiple groups of friends/family getting more than one shower), but you cannot host a shower for yourself. Because that is asking for gifts, and it is not polite to ask for gifts for yourself. Etiquette has its points, sometimes.

I'd be with your DW, Gregg, no way would I be attended multiple gift-giving parties for one event. Bridal shower and wedding? Fine. Baby shower? Fine, and if I know someone well enough to go to her baby shower, I'll probably give another small gift when the baby is born. But I think the formal celebrations have just gotten out of hand.

[Simpler at Fifty]

Oh my- I saw the title of the post and then this much content "Choose if you want a couples shower or not, but you don't get both.". I thought it was a post about nudists. That would have been ok too. ;)

I would not contribute to a Gender Reveal anything. That is just crazy.

[Spartana]

Oh my- I saw the title of the post and then this much content "Choose if you want a couples shower or not, but you don't get both.". I thought it was a post about nudists. That would have been ok too. ;)

I would not contribute to a Gender Reveal anything. That is just crazy.Ha Ha - I thought that too when I saw the post (and being it was from Iris Lily I just knew it had to be racy :-)!). I'm with the others - one party for a wedding (shower), a bacheler/ette each party, and one for a baby shower. Make the gender reveal at that time. Done. I once read about a couple who choose not to reveal the gender of their new born for months (maybe longer) as they didn't want eople stereotyping based on gender. It was an interesting story, Now I can see them having a gender reveal party many months (years?) after the child was born. That would be a party I'd like to attend!

[jennipurrr]

I had never heard of such a party until my sister (expecting) decided to throw herself one. She was ridiculously upset that my mom and I weren't thrilled with the idea...somehow throwing yourself a party seems tacky to me. DH and I attended...it wasn't out thing, but we made it through fine. The cake was pretty good haha. We both agreed there needed to be some adult beverages with all this baby overload. However, mom-zilla (my sister) is of the opinion if she can't drink, smoke, or eat sushi no one else should in her presence, heh. She also had a mini meltdown I wasn't coming to a shower for her 13 hour drive away, but I told her I could either come to the shower or come when the baby is born. She just has to deal with that.

To me this is just part of some alternate reality where people are the center of their own mini universe with these faux picture perfect lives. My sister has always been fairly restrained and frugal and she has gone crazy with baby "stuff" already (due in May). It overwhelms me...scared to even think about the 1st birthday party

[redfox]

Here's a read-aloud perfect for this event:
http://www3.delta.edu/cmurbano/bio199/AIDS_Sexuality/BabyX.pdf

[shadowmoss]

Telling me what to bring and charging me to attend would get a semi polite 'no thank you'.

[Mrs-M]

Originally posted by Iris Lily.
Maybe we can blame reality TV.Or, the unreality of reality.

Just another display of the ideology of modern-day society, where fewer and fewer are content with following tradition, the old, and for whatever reason, feel the need to strikeout and start something new. Ridiculous.

[treehugger]

I was sure this was going to be a thread about throwing a party to celebrate completing the transgender process, which I would totally support. Now that I find out what it's really about, I agree with the prevailing opinion that, as an additional gift grab, it's pretty lame, and I wouldn't attend. I don't even like showers (even though they are "traditional"). But, I definitely do like to celebrate life events with people I care about (birthdays, weddings, babies, retirement, etc.).

Celebrations, planned and spontaneous get-togethers with loved ones, and holidays are all nice ways to make life enjoyable. But, I have no problem declining invitations to gift grabs.

Kara

[Miss Cellane]

And I'll admit that when I read the OP, I had no idea this was a party that required a gift. That would change my opinion of both the party and the people throwing the party. I thought it was a light-hearted way to announce the gender of the baby. If gifts are required or expected, I would not be attending. Not even for cake.

I'll bring a gift to a baby shower. And most likely a gift when the baby is born (everyone needs more burp cloths, don't they?). But that's my personal limit.

[decemberlov]

And I'll admit that when I read the OP, I had no idea this was a party that required a gift. That would change my opinion of both the party and the people throwing the party. I thought it was a light-hearted way to announce the gender of the baby. If gifts are required or expected, I would not be attending. Not even for cake.

I'll bring a gift to a baby shower. And most likely a gift when the baby is born (everyone needs more burp cloths, don't they?). But that's my personal limit.

I agree!! Seems many people will do whatever they can to get as many presents as they can out of 1 event. I know someone that told be the only reason they had a Christening party for their son was because people gave you a lot of money when they came. I thought it was shocking and just absolutely rude!

Oh and I remember hearing about weddings that had some sort of credit card/debit card reader when you walked in at the reception so people could just swipe their cards and give money. >8)