View Full Version : I re-activated my facebook and I think I regret it already
Geez, I remember really liking keeping up with friend and especially cousins across the country when I had facebook before. I had a person who went wacko in my personal life and so I shut everything down for almost a year. Now his wife is in the process of divorce so I feel it is better, plus I have very few people on my facebook. But already it is getting on my nerves.
So does everyone have lots of people who disagree with them on facebook? I am not posting things that people disagree with, just basic little things like running into an old friend, but I have friends posting things that are so far away from my opinion that I wonder how we have been friends so long. Maybe it is just the nature of Facebook
fidgiegirl
1-21-13, 11:10am
We were just chatting about this yesterday. In my opinion Facebook is something to be enjoyed, and if it's not, then there is no obligation to do it. Neither is there obligation to keep people showing up on there who annoy you or pick on you. So use "hide" liberally and unfriend where needed, and if it sucks, quit again! For the most part I very much enjoy FB but I have done quite a bit of "weeding" of my little digital garden.
HomemadeChange
1-21-13, 11:16am
So use "hide" liberally and unfriend where needed, and if it sucks, quit again! For the most part I very much enjoy FB but I have done quite a bit of "weeding" of my little digital garden.
I too use hide or unfriend more frequently than I used to find necessary on FB. It is amazing what people will post these days. I still use it to catch up with old friends or stay in touch with across the country family so for that, I am thankful. The political rants (regardless of side) and sometimes frequent complaining by some users do not add to my day...so I subtract them from my list or at least "hide" their constant posts from showing up on my newsfeed.
Yes I think hiding anything related to the gun issue and avoiding my good friend who 100% hates Obama would be good. I did post a talk called 'are you a spiritual badass' that is excellent. He talks about how people like the Dalai Lama continue to speak well of their enemies and how much spiritual strength that is. So it isn't so much a pro or con Obama as it is not conducive to my spiritual practice, and eventually may affect the overall friendship
I love the 'hide' button.
I use it on people who post political rants, and people who share one too many cute photo/saying things or cat videos.
My husband is down to checking facebook maybe once every 3 weeks or so. I'm still there daily but I maintain our business page (I just post things we're working on, I'm not trying to boost sales) and I admin our church page and I like catching up with friends.
goldensmom
1-21-13, 11:33am
I have a FB account with a few ‘friends’…not every Tom, Dick or Harriet like some people I know. I don’t post my opinion, I don’t post anything controversial, I don’t respond to any controversial post, I don’t post anything personal. I’ve reconnected with some long ago (real) friends and that’s fun but as I’ve heard it said, it’s your status, not your personal journal or soapbox. If I have something personal to say to one of my FB friends then I will message them. And yes, the word ‘message’ is now considered a verb.
sweetana3
1-21-13, 11:56am
I also liberaly use the hide button and I dont open most video clips or attachments with sensational type titles. They just irritate me.
One brother got so mad at me about my middle of the road opinions, he unfriended me. No loss. He falls for every article and spouts a lot of Rush Limbaugh. My new stepmother started in on it and I hide any posts that even border on radical. If it about family, ok. I feel for her since she has to listen to Dad and my brother.
I find Facebook to be easier to handle than family get-togethers in that regard. :) Much easier to skim past something you find offensive online than to blow past it when you're face-to-face.
I always say FB is your thought bubble outloud- the stuff you WANT to say but society dictates some civility. I deactivated mine after some drama when my husband almost died after a surgery 6 months ago and a woman openly attacked me during this time. This was someone I was friends with for 3 years and I knew she was opinionated but she attacked my husband and my family. I had to really think if this was enhancing my life at all. I am a pro-email gal. I send off new pics monthly with a short note. I don't like people knowing that I took vacation and that I am currently eating lobster- yes, a post like this caused another rant because I was told I was wasting my money. Ce la vie~!!!!!
Hmmm.... I'm actually surprised that some of you have much more "interesting" FB friends than I do. I've got a family that stretches WAY across some normally contentious boundaries, but the conflicts haven't yet risen to the level I'm reading about.
bUU- Will your family adopt me? ;)
We have a pretty diverse family, but only one SIL who tends to speak (post) first and think later. She's always been that way and everyone knows it so we just skim on by the outlandish posts and carry on. I personally love FB for keeping up with my kids friends. People who grew up in and around our house who are now getting married, having babies, doing all kinds of interesting things. Its a wonderful way to keep up. Of course I'm pretty picky about who gets to be a 'friend'...
iris lily
1-21-13, 12:40pm
The only practical reason I sometimes view Facebook pages is to keep up with news of Bulldog rescue here in my area. Otherwise, it is useless.
As far as arguing about issues, THIS site serves that purpose in my life. This software is more conducive to making arguments because you can edit your posts. Facebook technology and those site that have "comments" technology doesn't support long posts with text options and again, the edits feature. Since I make about a beezillion mistakes in a long posts (even with spellchecking) I like to rework them.
But that said, Facebook is the ONLY way to keep up with young people. We don't have kids and grandchildren and so have no need. And its funny that our nieces and nephews, the older ones anyway, do very little with Facebook.
IshbelRobertson
1-21-13, 1:06pm
I have never had a FB or Twitter account, and never intend to open one. I suspect I'm an oddity!
I think I finally have Facebook to a place where it is actually something that I enjoy and adds to my life in a positive way. I will "friend" just about anyone, but I liberally hide all status updates of people that I don't know well, post too much political stuff, religious stuff I don't care for, etc etc. I have "liked" many Facebook pages dealing with stuff I do like so now I have a constant stream of interesting things coming across my wall. Examples of some of the pages I've "liked": Introverts are Awesome which posts quotes and links to articles about introverts (of which I am one), Meditation Techniques, many science related ones that post links to articles and science-related quotes and comics (I work in a molecular biology lab) as well as ones that support my belief system like United Humanists. Plus, there are some useful ones like my local library page and my son's high school band booster page.
Now I see a stream of stuff from good friends and family and things that interest me. And the very occasional political post that gets me riled :~)
I have never had a FB or Twitter account, and never intend to open one. I suspect I'm an oddity!I am equally odd as I also have neither. I do have a "dummy" facebook account - just a Jane Doe and e-mail account not connected to the "real" me in any way, just so I can check out other people's FB accounts. It always amazes me the kind of things people put on their open (i.e. nothing hiden and no privacy settings) FB accounts - address, names and photos of their children, when they are gone on vacation, etc... And the things they post - YIKES. Unfortunately even if you don't have a FB account and wish to have a relatively private life that isn't documented online, often friends will post photos or comments about you (as in "I went hiking with Spartana yesterday and here's a goofy photo of her. Did you know she's single again. Here's her phone number. etc..." This happened to me and I about blew a gasket! This person meant no harm by posting my private info and a photo (and not a very flattering one at that) for all her many friends (many old school mates of mine I have no wish to re-connect with and certainly don't want them knowing what's up in my life). Yet it's out there anyways. She did remove it but, sadly, that kind of things happens all the time and there is no way to stop it.
ApatheticNoMore
1-21-13, 2:42pm
The only practical reason I sometimes view Facebook pages is to keep up with news of Bulldog rescue here in my area. Otherwise, it is useless.
+1 I only really use it to keep up with activities that are going on locally, maybe see where old coworkers are going professionally. The rest of it is useless to me. Baby pics put me to sleep!!!
As far as arguing about issues, THIS site serves that purpose in my life. This software is more conducive to making arguments because you can edit your posts. Facebook technology and those site that have "comments" technology doesn't support long posts with text options and again, the edits feature. Since I make about a beezillion mistakes in a long posts (even with spellchecking) I like to rework them.
+1 if I wanted to argue or talk politics, well I do that here, and it's not me who spreads most of that beyond the public policy section, and I do that on blogs or other places that are openly ALL ABOUT politics. FB isn't useful for that. It's moderately useful for spreading news (to those already sympathetic), but that's about it.
I re-activated my FB and have been really enjoying it. I haven't encountered any fighting, but I do see too many posts that I don't want to see...kitten videos, political rants, etc...and I do not hesitate to "hide" them. Also, if a post makes me feel jealous or inadequate in any way, I hide it.
For frequent offenders (i.e. kitten posts all day long), I change their setting so their posts don't show up in my news feed. I also block any "game" posts.
I also put some people in a "restricted" group so they don't see anything I don't want them to see. I love the "restricted" option because it means I don't have to unfriend anyone or deny a friendship request - I simply keep them from seeing what I post.
Facebook takes a bit of weeding and maintenance, but not much. Some of my friendships in Real Life have been enhanced by FB. My favorite posts to read are about books, food, and art projects....making me one of the unhip, middle-age FB users, I suppose. I hear the younger crowd thinks FB is "old school" anyway and has moved elsewhere, though I don't know where. :)
My favorite posts to read are about books, food, and art projects....making me one of the unhip, middle-age FB users, I suppose. I hear the younger crowd thinks FB is "old school" anyway and has moved elsewhere, though I don't know where. :)
+1---the only reason I caved in the first place and signed up for FB is because I read an article entitled, "The Baby Boomers are Ruining Facebook!" So, dammit, I was gonna make sure and do my part! LOL!! Now, I do enjoy FB...similarly to the way Sparrow describes.
Still sitting on the fence because I need to do what Spartana has done, make a pseudo page to access info on FB. How did you do this Spartana? I would consider doing this.
Still sitting on the fence because I need to do what Spartana has done, make a pseudo page to access info on FB. How did you do this Spartana? I would consider doing this.
I first created a new e-mail address with a fake name - nothing connected to me or my real e-ail accounts at all. Didn't even create it using my own computer. Then I used that e-mail address to create a fake FB page - again with a fake name and no photo are anything like that. I have never "friended" anyone with that FB account and never posted anything to anyone's FB page - it's strictly for snooping :-)!
jennipurrr
1-22-13, 12:06am
I enjoy keeping up with people who I do care about but I other wise would drift from on FB. Its a very introvert friendly interface for communication! I log on nearly every day.
I have a couple of people who I have considered hiding...one guy is a former coworker who is just nutso about political stuff...very tinfoil hat-ish. But, he posts some neat stuff about simple living topics (prepper....simple liver...fine line there I guess) so I keep him around.
I also have lots of "liked" pages that keep me up with stuff happening locally...much easier than any other format previously.
I stay out of the drama. Lots goes on in DH's family. I am just an observer, never enter that world...although sometimes I take screen shots for what I call my J. Edgar file.
DH has hidden a lot of people from high school. Their world views were just so far apart he did not want to see their posts come through his feed.
not really. i mean, i disagree with a lot of my FB friends, but I never feel any need to speak up unless I consider it really "outside the character" of the individual, and I'll say "I'm shocked that you would say this, I percieve you as X. So, what is this about for you?" It lead to some interesting discussion on "birther" arguments.
I love FB. I'm a work-from-home extrovert (bad idea), so it almost-meets a crucial socialization need for me. Plus I'll 'friend' pretty liberally... most of my 625+/- 'friends' are people I've not met in RL. We have connections via shared interests & people, and I love hearing about their urban farming, handspinning, non-profit fundraising, crazy music making exploits & adventures. Plus there's the cat vids.
And... when I need to, I take a break. I block crazy people. I hide annoying ones. I take it lightly, and appreciate it for what it is -- a source of human interaction with a definite wild-card aspect to it. Though I did find the best yoga teacher ever because I b*tched on FB about the pickins, and I may have sold my sis's car via FB...
Don't take it too seriously!
Facebook puts me on an emotional roller-coaster ride. I work in media and it's a requirement of my job both to have a personal page, and to be an admin of our company page. Two different roles. I can't get out of posting daily on the company page. I hated the schedule at first, but now I've come to see that posting regularly keeps people engaged and helps us to acquire new likes every day. I wouldn't have thought it.
Another eye-opening thing - people like the dumbest, most basic updates. I work at a music-related company, but the posts that get the most likes, views, whatever (the holy grail for my employers) are animal photos! Those, and really really really dumb but funny jokes. Example - a New Yorker cartoon where a bunch of musical notes and symbols were having a "staff" meeting. So the Treble clef is at one end of the table, and the bass cleff at the other end. Musical notes are sitting in the chairs. The bass clef says to the treble, "You're nothing but treble." The treble clef says to the bass clef, "You just bring us down." That one got a jillion likes. Oh, and the day I linked to an article about that horrible school shooting a few weeks ago. Apparently management had been planning to rap my wrist for posting something negative, (gawd forbid!) and then changed their minds when it turned out that post had the highest number of views of anything we've put out there. They just want the likes, views, and reach.
Anyway, the extra buzz we've been able to generate on Facebook has been educational for me in terms of my own freelance art business. I rarely post anything at all. People tell me I need to post every piece of art I do, and I think they're right. But - I'm an introvert. I have trouble marekting myself. I don't want to post too much for fear it'll annoy people, and they'll hide me (I've hidden most of my "friends," so I figure they've done it to me too!)
But seeing how the Facebook portion of my company's promotions strategy has been bearing fruit has made me want to revamp how I want to approach marketing my freelance business. I'm thinking about redesigning my blog, doing regular updates, posting each update to my Facebook page, and doing at minimum a post a week to let people know I'm still alive and still working.
Socially, Facebook is a waste land for me. I'm not good at the people thing, and the technology doesn't change that.
OTOH, it does come in handy in emergencies. Been without a phone this week, and my hubby who's been having health problems has been letting me know what's up over FB.
Yeah, I think if you can keep FB at arm's length and not get too worked up or involved it works OK. I like that it's saved me from putting my foot in my mouth, when I notice a friend who's gone from being married or in a relationship to being single. Some people are annoying. They are usually annoying IRL. Either ignore, which is easier on FB than IRL, or hide them. I am kind of on the fence about a friend with whom I don't have much in common, she does a lot of political posts and dumb posts (like vague "People suck" or some such, some of it appears to be stream of consciousness) but then sometimes has something really funny. So I try to skim her stuff rather than get worked up about it. I don't post a ton, myself. Usually it's something fun, such as the other day when I saw a New Belgium van on the way to work and took a pic at a red light, and posted the pic with like "Happy Friday!" Occasionally I get into a good discussion but much more often here. Sometimes I get or give good local advice on FB, since many friends are local. Found out about various goings-on around the area that way, both good and bad. So I will keep it for now and use as I think enhances rather than detracts from my life. Hope that's a helpful perspective, Zoe!
I just unfriended 50 people. It was fun, actually. Some folks who are annoying, and those who, if I don't know them in person & could not recall why they were on the list, are now gone. In the process, I reviewed many profiles, and it was very interesting to catch up on their general, for FB consumption news & photos.
I shut my Facebook down quite a while ago now. Sometimes I think about reactivating it, but I think you've convinced me to let it stay dormant. For me it wasn't so much about differences of opinion, but the time I was devoting to keep up with people I did care about, but whom I had not seen in twenty years or so. It was nice, but took too much time away from the present.
For me it wasn't so much about differences of opinion, but the time I was devoting to keep up with people I didn't care about, but whom I had not seen in twenty years or so. It was nice, but took too much time away from the present.
This is my feeling exactly. I am not one to re-new old friendships - online or in person - unless we plan to have RL time together. I'm generally not that interested in knowing what is going on in people lives who I haven't see in 20 years, and who I probably won't see in another 20 years. So, not having kids or distant family to keep up with, I prefer not to do facebook at all. I only have so many hours in the day and I'd rather spend it with my RL friends and family doing stuff and things :-)!
domestic goddess
1-28-13, 12:56am
Sparrow, I'm going to have to take a look at that "Introverts Are Awesome" page. Sounds right up my alley!
I enjoy my FB page, though I don't have many friends on it, and don't friend anyone I don't actually know. I have re-connected with some friends and some cousins I haven't seen in a long time, so that has been good. But I did "friend" some of my son in law's family, and that was a big mistake. During the election, they became quite abusive, as we don't share a single opinion on almost anything. I was called "Hitler" by a cousin of theirs who I have never met, which I didn't take too kindly. DD showed me how to change my settings, and now I get none of their posts, and they shouldn't be able to read mine, but I think they must see them on her page, so occasionally I get responses from them. Still, I like to be in contact for family purposes, and to keep harmony. It's just that things are more harmonious if I really limit the contact. These people are, after all, now my dd's extended family, and I like it when we can all get along. That they don't really care about that is probably more my problem than theirs, but I have found a solution for most of that.
Wildflower
1-28-13, 1:15am
I stay away from Facebook these days. Haven't missed it a bit, but I'm a bigtime introvert. :)
I stay away from Facebook these days. Haven't missed it a bit, but I'm a bigtime introvert. :)
Like the old New Yorker cartoon (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Internet_dog.jpg) said, on the Internet, no one knows you're a dog. I'm a big-time introvert, too, but Facebook lets one put as thick or as thin a veil on your life as you like. Now, what the Fb people do with the peeks they get; that's another thing. But having a Facebook account does not require one to open all the spigots and let it all run out. Doesn't work for you, it doesn't work. But then we get back to that old boundaries issue. If boundaries cannot be established, avoidance is good. It works for alcoholics, it works for me on computer games (tremendous time suck if I play), etc.
jennipurrr
1-28-13, 11:56am
I am a fan of the Introverts are Awesome page...they post a lot of interesting things.
domestic goddess
1-28-13, 3:54pm
I am a fan of the Introverts are Awesome page...they post a lot of interesting things.
I just checked it out and found some interesting stuff. I'm sure I'll be back!
Ok, FB moment... In 1986, I worked as a social worker in a shelter for women & children, evening shift. One night, a pregnant 17 year old & her young daughter came in. She was a very dynamic, interesting person. They stayed for a month, then transitioned to the longer term shelter we had. I was invited to be at her birth, and got to welcome her son into the world. She then moved into permanent housing, and we stayed in touch until she moved to NYC in 1989.
Ten years later, I discovered that one of my coworkers was her older sister! When she left the workplace, I lost track of her. Last fall, I found the older sister on FB, sent a friend request with a message. Today, she accepted it! On her page are photos of that young woman I knew. I just sent a note & friend request to her. She's still in NYC, her kids are beautiful adults, and she looks really happy & content.
This is why I love FB.
This is why I love FB.
Great story, redfox! I, too, have hooked up again with people it would have been quite difficult to find otherwise. I do enjoy that part of Facebook.
ApatheticNoMore
1-31-13, 2:29am
FB is now requiring a phone number, oh that is it .... I'm not going to give a number so if they want to play that game ... Nope never had a good opinion of them, but had good strategic reasons for joining so meh.
Facebook hasn't required either my spouse or I to provide a telephone number yet. What might you have done to trigger that, so we know how to avoid it?
SteveinMN
1-31-13, 10:11am
I don't remember being asked for a phone number, either. Many times "options" on Facebook are presented with the default option (the one they want you to select) presented in positive terms and large type:
Let's do this!
and the choice that lets you continue on without giving away a few more ounces of flesh is in small, low-contrast type:
Skip
Anyway, my practice is to not answer my phone unless I know who's calling. In fact, if the caller's number is not whitelisted in my phone's contact list, the phone doesn't even ring. So if I could not proceed without a phone number, they can have it. It won't do them (or anyone they sell it to) any good.
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