Money makes people crazy

[CaseyMiller]

I've been teaching my teen DD about a money. I've started telling her how crazy money makes people.

I've shared with her that the surest way to lose a friendship is to loan money. I share with her the the dozens of examples of how nuts money, even small amounts, can make people.

I've seen a marriage decimated from a million dollar win at a casino. I've seen many examples otherwise good honest people rationalizing unethical behavior (basically stealing) in money matters. I've seen a group of very close friends ruin a beautiful long term relationship over the request of $20 donation for something. I've seen very close sisters quit talking to each other for decades from disagreements over a small inheritance. The list goes on and on...

I've never ceased to be amazed/baffled at how often I've seen people willing to sacrifice life long friendships or their honor for such small amounts of money.

[bUU]

I think we've done a great job as a society crafting as much poison as we can into all money matters. The more you pull on a knot trying to untangle it, often the tighter the knot actually gets.

[shadowmoss]

I'm thinking that in most cases it is not so much the amount of money as the fact that the situation shows a side of a person's character that the other person didn't realize was there before. I like the old saying: if you lend a friend $10 and you don't hear from them again, it was probably worth the $10.

[sweetana3]

Shadowmoss, what a great quote.

I am way too invested in my money. I need to step back and give it some space.

[razz]

You are so right about this.

What is that favourite saying? "Neither a borrower nor a lender be" If I have ever violated this saying whether with money or material objects, I have regretted it. So I simply don't do it now.

If I can't give the money with no strings attached and no further thought about the consequences, I don't hand over money to family or friends for any reason. I tell my two adult children my financial situation but no one else needs to know anything.

[merince]

I agree. I mostly see the behavior in cases involving death (inheritance, life insurance). It's almost like money and death shine a very bright light and magnify jealousy and avarice. I am also amazed at the lengths people will go to deny or explain their bad behavior (delusion).

[Zoebird]

It's true, and I definitely take the Shadowmoss approach.

Money that I've lost due to the business in the last year. . . due to poor decisions (ie, hiring and maintaining a teacher in a class for the year, even though that class had zero growth after a massive collapse at the teacher change-over) as "continuing education costs." I figure that I obviously needed to figure out that running a prime-time class at a loss was stupid. LOL

I don't blame her. I don't have any issues with her (turns out she does ahve issues with me right now, but that's not my thing to worry about). I just didn't run my business properly and was trying to "will" something to work. :)

[puglogic]

I believe this is true in many situations. And I detest being on either end of a loan, so avoid it like the plague.

But I'm also fortunate to know quite a few people who know precisely what the value of money is, and if it affects them, it's in a good way. Yesterday morning, on a whim, a well-to-do friend bought breakfast for all of the folks waiting in a long line around her at the Department of Motor Vehicles - it was silly, but it made everyone laugh. She tips big when people show her compassion and friendliness. She volunteers and gives to causes she thinks are good ones. She uses money to improve the lives and the fortunes of the people around her. I know quite a few people in my community who are the same....they have money, but use it for the common good.

There's plenty of craziness around money. I guess I don't want to get so entrenched in believing that money is the root of all evil that I'm blinded to the people around me who ARE using it for good, though.

[ToomuchStuff]

You forgot the word can. Money only accentuates and magnifies the values one has instilled in them. I have friends who are dirt poor as well as some who had a million dollar trust fund by their first birthday, who I would trust to know the values of a dollar. It is more the ones in between or sudden wealth winners, that I have experienced issues with. Most of the wealthy ones I know, you wouldn't know either they were rich, or how rich (might think they are higher middle class). You only get the fun stories about money, if they have known you long enough to agree with your values.