View Full Version : Another work update
Hello again,
Some of you may remember last month's post, where I talked about my chatty boss:
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/showthread.php?7158-Some-updates-and-a-weird-situation-at-work
Following various responders' suggestions, I have asked for extra work. My boss tells me, in short, that there is none. I offered to help him, or the other library personnel. The answer was that there aren't any projects for me to work on.
What the heck kind of workplace in this economy DOESN'T need extra help? What kind of a manager doesn't value or take advantage of an offer such as the one I made?
I really, really do not know what to do. One of the reasons I took this job is to get valuable library experience. Now I'm finding out that I'm basically only going to do clerk-type stuff here (when there is actually something to do), and (on a slight tangent) that anything other than professional librarian type work is NOT going to get me a job after I get my master's degree in library science.
You know what I think is going on here? Based on some stuff I've observed, I don't think my boss wants to work very hard. I've even been told that although I can't read a book (or be seen doing it), it's OK to check my personal email. My SO thinks this is ridiculous--"A manager telling an employee it's OK to screw off on company time?"
OK, maybe that sounds like fun to some people...but it gets old after a while. I feel very lonely and isolated at work a good deal of the time. And like I am wasting time (although, yes, I am being paid for it). BUT: please don't think that I hate my job. My co-workers are very nice, I get along with everyone and the pay is more decent than a lot of places would offer (although it is not quite enough for my household. That's another story, though).
Another issue is this: There are times when I am the only staff person in the building (I usually have a student helper). I don't know why. I've mentioned that it might be a good idea to have campus security be here while I open the building, but he brushed it off. Since my co-worker (also a woman) doesn't think it's necessary for security to be here when SHE opens, I guess I look paranoid.
We haven't had any issues, but there is a guy who is homeless and banned from the campus who comes in and asks pointed questions about whether I'm working alone that day, "where's that girl who usually sits there" (pointing at the student desk) etc. I call campus security and one time they even had the city cops escort him from the premises. My boss says he's "Not worried" about this homeless guy. Yet people on a library message board to which I belong tell me I should go to HR, I should be alarmed, etc.
I need this job, but I am seriously considering looking elsewhere. At this point, I am not even sure if I want to go to library school--especially if library work is as dull as this place.
Thanks for listening to my long rant. Sorry that I sound so rambly. I am having a hard time explaining this situation so that it makes sense.
What do you think about all this?
ApatheticNoMore
2-12-13, 9:54pm
I really, really do not know what to do. One of the reasons I took this job is to get valuable library experience. Now I'm finding out that I'm basically only going to do clerk-type stuff here (when there is actually something to do),
I hear you, then you can try to move on to a better job if you have stayed a respectable amount of time (a year maybe? just so you don't look like a job hopper)
and (on a slight tangent) that anything other than professional librarian type work is NOT going to get me a job after I get my master's degree in library science.
well that sounds quite the catch 22. So you can't get professional librarian type work unless you've previously done professional librarian type work, and even the degree wont' get you there ... is that what you are saying?
You know what I think is going on here? Based on some stuff I've observed, I don't think my boss wants to work very hard. I've even been told that although I can't read a book (or be seen doing it), it's OK to check my personal email. My SO thinks this is ridiculous--"A manager telling an employee it's OK to screw off on company time?"
OK, maybe that sounds like fun to some people...but it gets old after a while. I feel very lonely and isolated at work a good deal of the time. And like I am wasting time (although, yes, I am being paid for it).
Well it depends, if you have a lot of other reasons to just hold on to a job, put in the time, and do routine work (like dealing with other crises besides work), then just do. But it doesn't sound like your job has much future promise!! So there is probably more promise in looking elsewhere!
I need this job, but I am seriously considering looking elsewhere.
good idea
At this point, I am not even sure if I want to go to library school--especially if library work is as dull as this place.
could try another library first I guess
frugalone
2-12-13, 10:11pm
Regarding the Catch-22:
I hadn't thought of it that way, but in a way, that sounds like what I'm being told. That the only valuable library experience is the type that involves pro-type tasks. I know some library assistants do tasks that were formerly done by the professional librarians--especially in a situation where there may have been cutbacks and the librarians were let go.
Reminds me of that old Army commercial, where they used to say, "I can't get a job without experience, but how can I get experience if no one will give me a job?"
SteveinMN
2-13-13, 10:57am
Following various responders' suggestions, I have asked for extra work. My boss tells me, in short, that there is none. I offered to help him, or the other library personnel. The answer was that there aren't any projects for me to work on.
What the heck kind of workplace in this economy DOESN'T need extra help? What kind of a manager doesn't value or take advantage of an offer such as the one I made?
I think the question is whether you have the skills and authority to take on the projects which need to be done. That's not a knock on you, BTW; you are in this job because you want/need experience in working in a library and your position may not come with the charge to lead others to accomplish certain tasks. I think the problem is that your boss doesn't want to work hard enough to supervise or be involved in "extracurricular" work.
One of the reasons I took this job is to get valuable library experience. Now I'm finding out that I'm basically only going to do clerk-type stuff here (when there is actually something to do), and (on a slight tangent) that anything other than professional librarian type work is NOT going to get me a job after I get my master's degree in library science.
Will there be time while you're getting your MLS that you could work at different libraries? Or should you, as ANM recommends, find a job at a different library to verify what the job is really like?
Is there another library you could go to that is underserved and/or understaffed at which you might be able to work? Maybe even volunteer for 10-12 hours a week at a library that can't keep its doors open for lack of funding/staff? Such places are far more likely to allow someone at your stage of the profession to take on tasks and gain experiences which usually would be the province of graduated librarians.
Another issue is this: There are times when I am the only staff person in the building (I usually have a student helper). I don't know why. I've mentioned that it might be a good idea to have campus security be here while I open the building, but he brushed it off.
Sure he brushed it off. It's not him opening the building or dealing with the homeless guy. If you stay and don't feel comfortable with this, go to campus security yourself. Why should your boss care? It's not like it's going to cost him money, is it?
Steve: On Point #1--I think it goes even deeper than laziness. He's been here 20 years, and I think he's got a nice little set-up going where nobody has to work too hard. If he were to go to another dept. and ask if they needed help, it might point up that we have a little too much free time on our hands in this dept. He'd rather not shine a light on that. Also, to the best of my knowledge, no library assistant here has ever gone on to earn a master's degree. Therefore, he may have no idea of what "professional development" means. As far as I know, he never goes to conferences etc.
Point #2: Library jobs are very hard to come by. I even got turned down by one of the local branches for volunteer work once (they said they take the trouble to train people, and then the people leave). I guard my free time quite fiercely, and at this point in time, I don't feel I can spare any of it for volunteer work. Which seems a pity, since I am wasting hours and hours here when I could be helping someone!
Point #3: Every time I have seen this guy, I have called security and they do come. I just feel like they could do more. Though what, I'm not sure.
Would love to hear Gardenarian's view on this issue!
Another thing I worry about: How long before I completely go bonkers from the sheer boredom of the long hours in which absolutely nothing happens?
It's not good for my mind to be so idle. I start worrying/obsessing/getting anxious.
I have been thinking about this one. First of all I would continue on calling security. I teach a meditation class in the downtown area at a church that serves the homeless. The student intern who has the keys, does the set up, etc. is my 'bouncer'. Basically she sits in the back and does not meditate but we have people wander in and we give them leftover doughnuts. I am compassionate but not naive about why some people are homeless.
The other thing is that with my personality I would be looking to create something. So you notice that 5 different people keep checking out Jane Austen books, and they come in on Friday night so they may need a social life, and you could have a Jane Austen book club. Or talking to a person in the community you find out that the school a block away has dismal math scores and you have a retired math professor coming in. These may be way out ideas, but that is what I do when stuck in a position where there is not enough to do (not at ALL my situation now, however I do need to find a Spanish teacher and ESL teacher for adults for my latest and greatest idea). Start kinda small, sometimes these things get bogged in beauracracy or legalities or egos, so doing something under the radar to test the waters is a good idea.
shadowmoss
2-14-13, 9:47am
Since you have access to a computer and permission to use it for personal sites, check out the many free online courses. You can learn web design and programming, a language, MIT has courses on-line in lots of stuff, Khan Academy has videos on many, many subjects. You will look engaged while doing so (may need discreet earbud headphones to hear the videos, only in one ear so you can hear what is going on around you, too). It could not only save your sanity but give you a leg up on any future courses you decide to take IRL. I work(ed) a help desk and had lots of down time and this is what I did.
Can you organize a bookclub for WW2 interests or birding or a weekly scrabble for seniors or a moms and tots social hour?
You may not see the library in the same way as I do. I am seeing a safe, community setting for everyone (all ages, interests, capabilities and mobility) and trying to offer something to interest all. What group interest is not being met right now? Ask a few of that group if they would be interested in some activity and then have them organize it with your support.
In your resume later, you can say that you helped organize these activities.
Since you have access to a computer and permission to use it for personal sites, check out the many free online courses. You can learn web design and programming, a language, MIT has courses on-line in lots of stuff, Khan Academy has videos on many, many subjects. You will look engaged while doing so (may need discreet earbud headphones to hear the videos, only in one ear so you can hear what is going on around you, too). It could not only save your sanity but give you a leg up on any future courses you decide to take IRL. I work(ed) a help desk and had lots of down time and this is what I did.
I cannot use earbuds, no matter how "discreet." If the student working with me were to see it, it would cause all kinds of problems. They're not allowed to use earbuds OR read books while at work. So it's kind of a "setting an example" thing.
I should have been clear from the beginning: this is an academic library. We don't have have activities like this at all. Nor does any other academic library that I know of.
IF I worked in the public domain, things would be quite different. I'm sure they would welcome the help. (In fact, I worked for a public library last summer---waaaay different).
Sad, isn't it?
Can you organize a bookclub for WW2 interests or birding or a weekly scrabble for seniors or a moms and tots social hour?
You may not see the library in the same way as I do. I am seeing a safe, community setting for everyone (all ages, interests, capabilities and mobility) and trying to offer something to interest all. What group interest is not being met right now? Ask a few of that group if they would be interested in some activity and then have them organize it with your support.
In your resume later, you can say that you helped organize these activities.
Zoe--I certainly will continue to call security. And frankly, if anything ever happens, I will not hesitate to sue the college for negligence. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
On your second point--Please see my response below. We don't have book clubs etc. as this is an academic library.
The overall attitude around here is "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." No one seems to want to do anything differently.
I have been thinking about this one. First of all I would continue on calling security. I teach a meditation class in the downtown area at a church that serves the homeless. The student intern who has the keys, does the set up, etc. is my 'bouncer'. Basically she sits in the back and does not meditate but we have people wander in and we give them leftover doughnuts. I am compassionate but not naive about why some people are homeless.
The other thing is that with my personality I would be looking to create something. So you notice that 5 different people keep checking out Jane Austen books, and they come in on Friday night so they may need a social life, and you could have a Jane Austen book club. Or talking to a person in the community you find out that the school a block away has dismal math scores and you have a retired math professor coming in. These may be way out ideas, but that is what I do when stuck in a position where there is not enough to do (not at ALL my situation now, however I do need to find a Spanish teacher and ESL teacher for adults for my latest and greatest idea). Start kinda small, sometimes these things get bogged in beauracracy or legalities or egos, so doing something under the radar to test the waters is a good idea.
Well dang it, I support the suggestion someone else had of finding something to study. That would be pretty hard on my high energy to deal with.
I wouldn't exactly say I have "high energy," but this is ridiculous.
You mentioned a library message board. Is there a local professional librarian's association that you could become involved with? Many places give employees time off to attend these association meetings or seminars as part of professional development.
If it's interesting enough, you could even help organize some of the presentations, or offer to host one in your space if that's allowed.
There is a state library association. I don't know if there are any local meetings or even local members. I'm checking into it right now.
iris lily
2-18-13, 11:21pm
Whenever the homeless guy who is banned from campus appears immediately call the campus or city cops. I don't understand why your boss is casual about that. He is banned, he is not to come to campus, it's that simple. No one should engage him in his questioning you just call cops.
I have had two jobs like yours in my past. In both, I had to leave as the job was not going to be changed. In the first one, they hired me for occasional oil/gas sales. Even told me to go ahead and read books while they had nothing else for me to do. Even at 20 years old, I knew this would not last. This was my first real job.
In one of my last jobs, it was a union operation and there was another secretary so they could not do anything "special" for my job without also doing it for her. So I would occasionally get a special assignment and would try and expand the job by doing indepth letter reviews but it was also a dead end job. So I had to move to a different job.
Sorry I could not be more positive about this issue but it is not you at all. It is a too structured a place and you will likely not get any change until possibly those in control move.
sweetana3, I'm pretty much getting the same answers from everyone. So don't worry that your reply is not "positive." It is what it is. I've already been told by the other library assistant that they're pretty set in their ways around here.
A very real fear I have is that someone WILL figure out that two library aides are not necessary, and since I'm the new kid on the block, guess whose position will be eliminated. I've heard stories about people who have been unemployed for a long time, got a new job and then lost the new job. It's just the economy.
jennipurrr
2-19-13, 5:16pm
It seems pretty much established the boss is not excited about any ideas for projects...but I am just brainstorming here...
Maybe there are tech-y projects you could do? There is so much of an information technology compnent in the modern libary, it would definitely help you with MLS programs or even future employment.
Browsing the page of the academic library here...
Does your library have a social media prescence? If not, could your project be to create one, if so who manages it? Maybe you could help.
Online Exhibits...examples were pics of all the University presidents and bios; Digital collection of documents about a confederate war ship;
Workshops on relevant software. I just attended one here on Refworks, web-based citation management tool
If you could pose it as something that would help the library and help you on your academic journey, maybe they would be more supportive?
I will certainly do so.
I should mention that it's not the fact that he's homeless that is a problem. He has approached our female students and asked them if they'd like to see his "art studio" sometime, and has screamed at one of my (female) co workers on the street, saying it was "her fault" that he has been banned. He asked me (and has asked her ) if I was working alone and asked when "what's her name" (gesturing toward the student desk) was working. I'd say that's creepy enough.
Whenever the homeless guy who is banned from campus appears immediately call the campus or city cops. I don't understand why your boss is casual about that. He is banned, he is not to come to campus, it's that simple. No one should engage him in his questioning you just call cops.
Alas, no one but the MLS-endowed librarians are allowed to go anywhere near the web site or its attending social media.
This job doesn't even require that one have a bachelor's degree so it's pretty entry-level. I don't have much library experience, so it is difficult for me to think of projects that 1) I am actually capable of doing w/o any prior training/education; and 2) would benefit both me and the library.
I posted about this on another library-related board, and someone kept talking about "collection weeding" etc. (which is rarely done here and if it is done, is the domain of a dept. other than mine). I must have come off as rather clueless because finally someone said, "You're a library aide. Didn't you have classes in collection development?" Turns out in their country, people in this job have some sort of degree or advanced certification. Nothing of the sort was required for this job.
So that is why it is difficult for me to really think up any projects on my own.
It seems pretty much established the boss is not excited about any ideas for projects...but I am just brainstorming here...
Maybe there are tech-y projects you could do? There is so much of an information technology compnent in the modern libary, it would definitely help you with MLS programs or even future employment.
Browsing the page of the academic library here...
Does your library have a social media prescence? If not, could your project be to create one, if so who manages it? Maybe you could help.
Online Exhibits...examples were pics of all the University presidents and bios; Digital collection of documents about a confederate war ship;
Workshops on relevant software. I just attended one here on Refworks, web-based citation management tool
If you could pose it as something that would help the library and help you on your academic journey, maybe they would be more supportive?
jennipurrr
2-20-13, 10:46am
Alas, no one but the MLS-endowed librarians are allowed to go anywhere near the web site or its attending social media.
Darn, that stinks! Around here (for good and for bad) various depts dole a lot of the actual maintaining of the social media out to the student workers or admin staff.
I do think it would help you to frame your thoughts more of, what you are capable of instead of what the job actually requires. You have a considerable background in (publishing? pr? editing? sorry don't remember) and you do have a degree so I am sure you can bring a lot to the position. Now, if they are truly not supportive of anyone stepping out of their "place", then that is another issue and disregard all that.
At worst, since you said you can't read books, but you can use the computer, maybe you can read ebooks in the Amazon cloud on your work computer screen.
Jennipurr, I have been reading ebooks on my computer. IT does help pass the time.
Last year, I did volunteer my services in terms of starting a library newsletter. Since it was the end of the semester, it was put on the back burner. I may bring it up again (though I've been told we're out of money right now and can't even afford to repair books).
I guess I still need to keep thinking...
Gardenarian
2-20-13, 6:29pm
Hey there frugalone -
I didn't read all the posts - just hopped over here from the Status thread. I had a similar situation at a public library where I was actually Head of Technical Services. The problem was that everyone else had worked there for so long. Whenever I took on a project I would get "that's not the way (the previous librarian) did it" and eventually responsibilities were taken from me, so they could continue doing them the old, stupid, time-wasting way they had been done for fifty years. Ugh. Fortunately I had the power to re-create my position.
What position does your boss hold? If he is the library director, he may know little about the day-to-day workings of the library. Or do you report to the circulation supervisor? Do you have any kind of relationship with the reference staff? What are your regular duties?
When I was doing my internship in library school, some of the things I did were (in addition to my regular duties):
Clean books
Shelf-read (yes, so boring!)
Create displays (I enjoyed this and still do)
Make bookmarks (this was pre-computer, but we had a photocopy machine)
Sort and display the ephemeral stuff (pamphlets, free newspapers, college catalogs, community stuff)
Take inventory (an inventory can take several years to complete.)
Clean (dusting shelves, washing the tops of low stack, cleaning carrels)
If they just need a warm body to be sitting at the circulation desk, that can be dull indeed. Our students at the desk have access to a typewriter so they make labels for books. They also do some cleaning of books, wiping down the covers and erasing pencil marks and the like. We have a bell we keep on the circ desk so that they can do shelving or shelf-reading when it is really slow - the reference desk is nearby, so it is safe to do so. They also clean the computer screens, keyboards, mice.
Our circ manager not only does not allow reading of books, she will not allow any use of the internet at the desk.
There is always work to be done in a library, but yes, people get into little complacent ruts.
Gardenarian--Wow, that's scary--you can't even use the internet at the desk? Our desk just isn't that busy. In fact, my boss (who is indeed the circ supervisor) says the desk has been getting less and less busy for the past several years, due to such factors as Netflix (students are not taking out videos as frequently) and online reserves. I wonder if this will lead to one less library assistant, eventually.
My duties consist of collecting fines, checking materials in and out, making sure the student workers are doing their jobs, putting items on reserve and removing them at the end of the semester and shelving the DVDs (students are not allowed to do that). We do a major shelf read in the summer (I am told) but during the school year, the students do the shelf-reading.
I don't really interact much with the reference staff, nor they with us.
I do think it's a question of my boss not wanting anyone above him sticking their nose in our department (our reference staff also doubles as library director and head of public services). In fact, he kind of has this rule that "what happens in circulation stays in circulation."
The tasks you mention? They're all being handled by other people who have been here forever and ever.
frugalone,
I would start planning your next step. This is not a healthy environment -- not for you, and not for the organization. Is there any way you can do on-line MLS coursework while having this job? Then you could at least consider it on-the-job training. And in the meantime be working on building up your networks in the library field so that you can land your next position as soon as you have the MLS.
I would go insane in an environment like that. And I love working in libraries! But I always worked in very small branches/collections where there was plenty to do and I was encouraged to do what needed to be doing. I can't imagine sitting behind a desk all day with more or less nothing to do.
You might also want to start looking at what other positions are available in the university. It is sometimes easier to get hired as an internal hire than external. Even if you switched to an administrative position, at least you wouldn't be bored out of your skull. Disadvantage is that you wouldn't be getting library experience.
And definitely keep your eyes/ears out for other positions in your area.
lhamo
and +1 to what IrisLily said about your safety - don't hesitate to call campus or local police. I would not stop to ask my boss first whether he approved or not.
I can tell you that in the corporation I work at, even though it's a closed site so we are not dealing with strangers wandering in, there is zero tolerance for anything considered a threat by one employee to another, and employees have been fired for even a single mild incident.
The fact that this guy has done this multiple times ratchets up your employer's liability, IMO, which is even more puzzling why they are so casual about this.
Frugalone, I've had a job or two like this in the past. It made me insane. Thankfully, they were only summer jobs while I was in college. It's very frustrating to hear your boss isn't open to anything new.
I also agree with Lainey on the homeless guy.
... I had a similar situation at a public library where I was actually Head of Technical Services...
oh I feel for you! What a nightmare position! Catalogers are the worst hahahahahahaha
Jennipurr, I have been reading ebooks on my computer. IT does help pass the time.
Last year, I did volunteer my services in terms of starting a library newsletter. Since it was the end of the semester, it was put on the back burner. I may bring it up again (though I've been told we're out of money right now and can't even afford to repair books).
I guess I still need to keep thinking...
What about an e-newsletter? No cost for paper...
I probably could do my degree online while in this job. At least, that was my original plan.
I've been having doubts, though, about getting my MLS. The reasons I'm doubting are these: 1) We have two recent MLS grads who are volunteering here because they can't find jobs. That does not bode well for the market around here, and I am not willing to relocate. Nothing like a real-life bad example! 2) I am finding out on various online librarian groups that EVEN IF you have an MLS and years of paraprofessional experience, there's a very good chance you still won't find a librarian job. 3) I'm continually being told that if you don't LOVE this field, don't go into it. Well, so far I don't see anything to love. And I"m feeling like spending $20K on something I don't love is with little or no chance of getting a job is not the smartest move.
Our area is very high in unemployment, one of the highest in our state. It's very sad. Even within the university, there are very few job openings for which I am qualified.
Everyone has given me so many good suggestions, yet I still feel very stuck and very depressed about the whole thing. I guess all I can do is keep looking and trying for something else.
frugalone,
I would start planning your next step. This is not a healthy environment -- not for you, and not for the organization. Is there any way you can do on-line MLS coursework while having this job? Then you could at least consider it on-the-job training. And in the meantime be working on building up your networks in the library field so that you can land your next position as soon as you have the MLS.
I would go insane in an environment like that. And I love working in libraries! But I always worked in very small branches/collections where there was plenty to do and I was encouraged to do what needed to be doing. I can't imagine sitting behind a desk all day with more or less nothing to do.
You might also want to start looking at what other positions are available in the university. It is sometimes easier to get hired as an internal hire than external. Even if you switched to an administrative position, at least you wouldn't be bored out of your skull. Disadvantage is that you wouldn't be getting library experience.
And definitely keep your eyes/ears out for other positions in your area.
lhamo
Gardenarian
2-25-13, 5:10pm
Hey frugalone -
what were you looking for from being a librarian? I have worked as a cataloger, children's services, IT, reference, in public, university, and community college libraries. Right now I'm feeling a little like you! My favorite part of work was teaching Research Workshops, but because of severe hearing loss I'm an unable to teach. So I am on the reference desk (I hear/speech-read well enough for one-on-one, face to face) and doing book selection, weeding, and whatever cataloging the 'official cataloger' allows me. It's less than inspiring!
I loved story-telling - being a children's librarian can be a blast. I also enjoyed the period when libraries were just becoming automated - I oversaw retrospective conversion projects at 3 different libraries. Now I'm not sure what I'm doing - it was one year yesterday since my hearing loss and I am no closer to an answer. Well, I'm writing a novel but not counting on that as a second career! I suggest working at a public library before bailing on the idea entirely (public library pay is low, tho'.)
Fortunately I'm pretty much FI - just have a hard time letting go of the monthly paycheck and the carrot of a pension if I hang on for another 5 years....
Our library director is planning on retiring in June and I'm going to apply for that position - we'll see what happens.
Before I had dd I worked various second jobs (wanted to get that mortgage paid off!) I had a second-hand store that focused on books (found I hated retail), worked for a textbook publisher as a fact-checker (fun at the time - pre-internet.) Maybe you'd enjoy something on the publishing end - books or magazines?
I guess you have the time to explore some options!
Gardenarian
2-26-13, 2:25pm
Talk about synchronicity! I have just been asked to take over the director's postion starting in the fall. Hoo boy, this is going to need it's own thread!
Congratulations on your new position as director!
I wanted to think about my reply before posting it here. I don't have a definite answer to your question about what I was hoping to get from being a librarian. I think I'm one of those people who say "I love books," and coupling that with the idea that I love researching things, I thought I might make a good reference librarian. I am being told over and over that loving books is not enough, and I'm just not sure anymore what I want to do for a living. Publishing? Sure...if there were actually any publishers around here (and it seems to me that anywhere there are publishers, there is a higher cost of living because you're going to be near some sort of city).
For years and years, I thought working in a library would be *so cool* and now I'm finding it's pretty darned dull.
I'm probably suffering from a case of burnout and/or depression. I was let go from my last job in June 2009 and was so destroyed from the way I was treated in that toxic environment that I declared I was never going to work again; I could NOT work ever again. Unfortunately, I ran out of money and had to find something. I thought that maybe I could make a fresh start in this field. I'm only into it by about six months and already I feel like I've got to move on.
I did work in a public library for about six weeks last year. I liked it better than this, but then, it wasn't a typical public library. It was very small, very clean and in an upper middle class community. No smelly drunk patrons or any of the stuff I see posted in librarian groups about the downfalls of public libraries. I wish I could have stayed there, but there were no benefits and no full time jobs on offer.
I'm sorry if I sound hopeless here. I can't seem to shake the down feeling I've had lately.
Hey frugalone -
what were you looking for from being a librarian? I have worked as a cataloger, children's services, IT, reference, in public, university, and community college libraries. Right now I'm feeling a little like you! My favorite part of work was teaching Research Workshops, but because of severe hearing loss I'm an unable to teach. So I am on the reference desk (I hear/speech-read well enough for one-on-one, face to face) and doing book selection, weeding, and whatever cataloging the 'official cataloger' allows me. It's less than inspiring!
I loved story-telling - being a children's librarian can be a blast. I also enjoyed the period when libraries were just becoming automated - I oversaw retrospective conversion projects at 3 different libraries. Now I'm not sure what I'm doing - it was one year yesterday since my hearing loss and I am no closer to an answer. Well, I'm writing a novel but not counting on that as a second career! I suggest working at a public library before bailing on the idea entirely (public library pay is low, tho'.)
Fortunately I'm pretty much FI - just have a hard time letting go of the monthly paycheck and the carrot of a pension if I hang on for another 5 years....
Our library director is planning on retiring in June and I'm going to apply for that position - we'll see what happens.
Before I had dd I worked various second jobs (wanted to get that mortgage paid off!) I had a second-hand store that focused on books (found I hated retail), worked for a textbook publisher as a fact-checker (fun at the time - pre-internet.) Maybe you'd enjoy something on the publishing end - books or magazines?
I guess you have the time to explore some options!
HomemadeChange
2-26-13, 4:16pm
Frugalone,
Maybe give your mind a break for a bit. What do you enjoy doing that currently has nothing to do with work? Sounds like your first answer may be reading (me too!), but think outside of the box. Gardening? Biking? Cooking? Window shopping? Painting? It helps me to "lose myself" (an incorrect phrase really as I tend to find myself when doing this) in something else. If you can find a constructive habit or hobby to dive into right now, I think some weight will be lifted, clouded thoughts will part and you will have the outlook and outcome you are striving for soon. In the meantime, do what you can at your current job while knowing as my gma would say "This too shall pass".
HomemadeChange, I'm going to have to try that. I do have some hobbies that I have been neglected.
I'm a little worried because this is becoming almost an obsession with me (the job issues, that is). When I'm at home, I can't stop worrying about it. It's on my mind when I go to sleep and when I wake up.
I feel this pressure to "get going" with my life--I feel like I "lost" three years of my life and at age 48, I should be figuring out "what I want to do when I grow up." I've been working on and off for 30 years now, and except for one, job, I never felt like I was in the right place vocationally.
Another thing that worries me about this situation is the pay. It is not quite enough. Having posted about this in the past, I'm not going to go into why and the specifics of my household expenses--please just take my word for it.
Something else I didn't mention: the thought of going through the whole interviewing process again terrifies me. All that "where do you see yourself in five years" cr*p. That's one thing I LIKE about my employer--they didn't ask me anything like that!
Thank you for your very excellent suggestion. I do hope I get some clarity on this issue soon.
P.S. My sister always says "this too shall pass!"
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