View Full Version : Drug addiction treatment? does anything really work
poetry_writer
2-19-13, 3:34pm
Reading the sad story of country singer Mindy McCreadys death from suicide/drugs. I've known so many families struggling with this issue. Some have lost their loved ones. I saw an awful situation unfold last year in a friends life. Their 30 year old bright and beautiful daughter is on drugs and is mentally ill. Who knows which came first, the dope or the illness? They got her to a local ER one day. After begging the arrogant ass of a psychiatrist , he finally faxed to the ER a 6 page letter saying she was a danger to herself. She was sent home instead of to the psychiatric hospital! I was stunned. My friend was weeping. This has been going on for years. The law enforcement who was called in (psychiatrist demanded that they be called in...???) had the final say as to whether she would be admitted to the psych hospital. Not sure why, they certainly are not doctors ....................The girl was uncooperative. What does work in drug addiction? I know many like AA and such programs, but just as many fail with that, as they do with expensive rehab. My friend and her family are broke and cannot afford rehab, which doesnt seem to work most of the time anyway. Drug addicts are sick...and often lying and sneaky, refusing to cooperate...........but too sick to get the help they need or even admit there is a problem. Without insurance, there is no help from the medical community. Thoughts on this horrifying epidemic in our country.....?
What worked for my brother-in-law was dying when he was in his mid-30s.
I truly believe that the only thing that works is change from within the person themselves. You cannot madate, demand, require, enforce, etc. any change on a person who is addicted unless you lock them up pretty much forever or until they change inside. There is not enough money in the world to do this or to create the laws that would allow a family or society to do it.
I wonder if we have anyone here from the UK or other European countries to if they have any ideas?
ApatheticNoMore
2-19-13, 4:16pm
What does work in drug addiction? I know many like AA and such programs, but just as many fail with that, as they do with expensive rehab.
I dont' think there's anything that works absolutely, works like antibiotics work: do this and be cured. Oh no way. I'm not a huge AA fan, I find some of the dogma can be counter-productive, but I accept it does work for *some* people (though I'm convinced it's less people than the hype - look even AA is full of liars that pretend they have been sober when they haven't etc. because there's A LOT of social reward for doing so in that culture, but of course that's not everyone there, some are sincere about getting sober).
My friend and her family are broke and cannot afford rehab, which doesnt seem to work most of the time anyway.
I'm not anti-rehab, I'm actually pro-rehab. I will say this: it's more likely to work if the person goes in voluntarily because they want to get off drugs than if they are forced in by the courts - I think that type of court mandated rehab has a very low sucess rate though still above zero, or even if they are forced in by family. Best chance to work is going in of their own accord because they feel at that time they want to deal with their addiction (unfortunately feelings change ...). So of course voluntary rehab still doesnt' mean there won't be relapses and multiple turns in rehab are common. I think of it this way: each time they are in rehab, just like each time they are sober, they learn new skills to deal with addiction, each time they get a little stronger and able to handle the addiction. Even that may be optimistic but that's how I see it. The costs are very high for rehab of course, can anyone afford another spin of that roulette wheel, usually not, but with drug addicts there's often very little choice so people do.
Drug addicts are sick...and often lying and sneaky, refusing to cooperate...........but too sick to get the help they need or even admit there is a problem.
No some of them admit they have a problem, at least sometimes.
The other means of dealing with addictions: crutch drugs like methadone etc. (really in many ways a prepetuation of the addiction but ... the thing is some drugs aren't actually bad for health so if you can function on them, there might be a case to be made for not treating an addiction, I don't know, many can't function in life on drugs so the point becomes moot obviously and some drugs do destroy health). Ex-addicts are always prescribed anti-depressants when coming off drugs, I don't think they do that much good to keep them off drugs but whatever. Psychotherapy which is as unreliable as it is for anything else, but I'm sure helps some as well.
I see drug addicts as fundementally dealing with life problems, just like anyone else (they might be more depressive or anxious or etc. than perfect mental health but there are plenty of depressed people etc. NOT on drugs to contrast with!). The only difference with drug addicts is that drug addicts have a snare that they have discovered that makes it seem like they can do their drugs and there won't be any life problems at least not on a feeling level, everything will feel good. It often is selfish. Their actual life as externally defined, might be falling apart in the real world (can't keep a job, turn to crime, it's worse if they are parents, etc. etc.). But on a feeling level they feel good. The pursuit of happiness :~) If I was a moralist, I'd say something about internally defined happiness haha, because it's what it's all about for the addict, but meh. Many a non-drug addict who might have their share of mental problems, has never discovered that snare, never discovered a way to use drugs to make life feel good (often just stayed away from hard drugs).
decemberlov
2-19-13, 4:47pm
What worked for my brother-in-law was dying when he was in his mid-30s.
Sadly I would have to agree..same with my brother in list late 20's
Gardenarian
2-19-13, 7:54pm
bae and december love - so very tragic.
Any thoughts on preventing drug use? Do you think most people with drug problems are self-medicating for psych issues?
ApatheticNoMore
2-19-13, 8:46pm
Do you think most people with drug problems are self-medicating for psych issues?
Yea, but at a certain point psyche issues become hard to distinguish from life itself. Sure certain drugs, for example: tranquilizers, benzos, valium, muscle relaxers - that type may have initial appeal if you suffer from anxiety for instance (other drugs have other appeals - uppers for a type A etc.). But if you are an addict at a certain point there is a temptation to take drugs to deal with life itself, bad things happen, tragedy strikes (and it sometimes does), your life is a mess and your path not an easy one, drugs are the answer, they make you feel better (so go running for the shelter ...). But your life as it actually exists, not just as it is subjectively felt (drugs feel good man!) becomes a disaster. From the outside looking in ...
poetry_writer
2-19-13, 9:05pm
Thanks for the replys. I see so many families going through this. So much is involved........Parents are expected to empty their bank accounts and life savings to send an adult child to rehab , the adult child then spits in their face (so to speak) and returns to the drug culture. So many broken homes and lives.....I have had anxiety myself and took benzos, but never abused them. What turns some people to make the choice to take more than they should? No easy answers i know....i ache for this family and the many others.........The addicts can be controlling, manipulative and parents live with the constant fear of them dying in the street.......Thanks again.
I've written to this list a few times about my alcoholic sister. Just like most addicts, she chooses to drink.
At Christmas last year she was arrested and jailed for drunk driving. She was sentenced to two months in jail; four days later, they released her. Weeks later, a few hours after she had her ankle bracelet removed, she was drinking again. The courts don't want to waste their time and money on addicts (and who can blame them---it won't help much).
I agree with one of the previous posts that rehab only works if the person is willing to change. My parents paid for rehab for her twice; she bluffed her way through both times although the staff saw right through her. Both parents have finally sworn not to bail her out financially anymore (my dad kept giving in). In my sister's case, I believe she needs to lose her home, which is a facade that everything is just fine in her world. Had she stayed in jail for two months, she would have lost it. We were disappointed that she got out so soon. She's lost her car and her license so she's not a danger to other people anymore, which is a huge relief to us. She gets jobs, then loses them when she doesn't show up the second week. Never calls her sponsors for help. We're always waiting for another phone call that she's in the hospital or dead.
With all the serious crimes being committed, jails don't want addicts.
Parents are expected to empty their bank accounts and life savings to send an adult child to rehab , the adult child then spits in their face (so to speak) and returns to the drug culture.
Parents often do feel expected to empty their bank accounts, unless they've had firm grounding in Al-Anon. They shouldn't be made to feel they should do anything to enable, as hard as it is. Believe me, it's hard. But if you do help them and they're not committed to recovery, it's a wasted effort, and if they are committed to recovery, they are finally not going to pull you under--because all they really need your emotional support when they are ready for it and ask for it. No, nothing "works" until the addict is ready to work it.
ApatheticNoMore
2-20-13, 5:55pm
Of course paying for rehab when it is the addict's own idea (not imposed by courts or external pressure) is not enabling, it's a heck of a favor to be sure, but the only thing such rehab "enables" is a better chance of them recovering.
Of course paying for rehab when it is the addict's own idea (not imposed by courts or external pressure) is not enabling, it's a heck of a favor to be sure, but the only thing such rehab "enables" is a better chance of them recovering.
Of course, I agree. Thanks for making that distinction.
Read these two books:
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
http://drgabormate.com/writings/books/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
and
Dharma Punx
http://www.dharmapunx.com/
Blackdog Lin
2-20-13, 9:12pm
I agree that programs and rehabs only work when the addict truly wants to recover, and makes the effort. Otherwise.....just a waste of time and money.
My sympathies to those of you who have lost loved ones to it.
In our case, our son's deciding point was prison. After 10 years or so of absolute hell for all of us (and large chunks of money spent on a program, lawyers, etc.), his luck finally gave out on him and he ended up with a 9-month sentence in minimum security. He came out saying he didn't belong in there, and it seems to have done the trick. He's been clean and productive and with a somewhat-normal lifestyle for over 5 years now. I am thankful.
Read these two books:
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
http://drgabormate.com/writings/books/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
and
Dharma Punx
http://www.dharmapunx.com/
Gabor Mate is incredible. I haven't read the book yet, but really enjoyed these two podcasts with him -- the first is an interview, the second a talk he gave in Seattle based on his book:
http://www2.kuow.org/program.php?id=19167
http://www2.kuow.org/program.php?id=22333
The "treatment" I've seen work is this. Dh is multiply addicted (as I think most addicts are). We lived in NYC, and all his friends were into these addictions too. I could see that as long as we were there, nothing was going to change re addictions, so we moved. I didn't say that's why we were moving, just took advantage of other reasons for moving. I stopped doing the addictive things, myself--drinking and smoking. I wasn't addicted to drinking, but figured we couldn't have alcohol around and I couldn't require of him something that meant so much to him if I didn't do it myself. That was immediate, stopping smoking took 2-3 years. Sugar has been the one hold-out, though we both eat tons more healthy food. I got dogs and a bird--over time he got into them and they are his addiction-free friends, as are his flowers--we moved to where he can grow flowers to his heart's content so long as they don't require much water. We are isolated, thanks to an addiction that would spring up again in an instant if we weren't, and isolation goes along with addiction anyway and he's never been in any sort of recovery, though he lost a career due to a major addictiono that he's now given up. Basically, I helped him replace the beloved addictions with distraction, turning his attention to things that don't hurt him or anyone else.
I figure what I've done here is considered sick by some people, but my life is so much better--he is a really nice person now and so am I in more ways. And when you live in the mountains at least most weekends, the beauty of the world fills you up better than anything else.
To boil it down, the only treatment I know for addiction is to get away from the likewise addicted friends or relatives, and to relocate.
Larknm, I don't think your story is sick at all. Sick would be continuing to enable a person whose addiction was killing you both. It sounds like you are very much at peace with all you have done and that you have made a lot of changes that were good for both of you. That's a lot more than many non-addicted people can say about their lives or their relationships.
Larknm, a movie LBS was about leaving a familiar area and using isolation to help with changing a life. Strange little art film but I enjoyed it.
I figure what I've done here is considered sick by some people, but my life is so much better--he is a really nice person now and so am I in more ways. And when you live in the mountains at least most weekends, the beauty of the world fills you up better than anything else.
To boil it down, the only treatment I know for addiction is to get away from the likewise addicted friends or relatives, and to relocate.
Interesting... because you're right, the "geographical cure" is a fairly well-known term for a solution bound to fail because theoretically, you're taking your internal problems with you. On the same token, I read the book "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg which is a very compelling book about how we make and break habits and he put alcohol addiction into the same camp as bed-making patterns. As a person who grew up with alcoholism, I scoffed at such as simplistic answer to such a complex disease. While there may be some people who fall into the alcohol abuse department in which too much drinking is kind of a mindless habit, there are scads of others who I believe are alcohol-dependent physically, and I think that often requires a whole other level of attention. Maybe not.. who knows?
I think you probably know you took a BIG risk changing YOUR whole life to get dh to change. I guess the fact that you also were getting yourself to change was a huge part of your dh's success--and kudos to you on licking your smoking. The other good point you raise (and Duhigg makes the same point) is that to be successful you have to substitute something for the drinking--otherwise the "recovering" alcoholic will be nothing but a white-knuckling dry drunk. Some people substitute AA, some find God in a church, some may simply change their friends and their surroundings.. I agree that the heart of nature can be the best drug there is.
As they say in AA and Al-Anon, larknm, thanks for sharing! You are certainly a very loving and supportive wife.
We had taken my son to a Doctor during an overdose at the height of his addiction. Drug induced psychosis that no one should have to live through or witness. The only way a hospital could keep him for three days was to admit him on a suicide attempt and evaluation. This was so confusing as we knew he needed HELP, but it was a starting point. Then we were dumped onto the curb with a packet of papers explaining addiction and some random numbers to call. Not being prepared, no idea what to do, son who after 8 years begged for help............nightmare to say the least.
The Recovery Hospital Center he ended up at "helped" save him from himself. Sadly the rate of success (if that is a real term) is low even at this wonderful center that we were told was the best east of the Mississippi. I know he feels he could have never done this alone with out the place, people, doctors and meds. He sadly is the only one from his group of roommates that made it through the depth of addiction to greet each day one day at a time. Why is that, we who thankfully have not been through this ask??? How can they do it again, after reaching a place that they are clean? Because it is a disease that must be fought and sometimes the disease wins :( There is no magic pill or cure, none of us ever forget that.
Thanks for the kind responses to my post here. I do not talk about this stuff to the people in our new place, NM, so get no chance for feedback--this is the first, and it makes a difference.
larknm, I think you did the only thing that would work in your situation. I feel that this is the only thing that will help my sister as well. She needs to get away from everything and everyone that causes her to go to alcohol. Her bf, lack of work, and no close friends and nearby family all contribute to this.
She's run away from her problems before (moved from NJ to CA) and it didn't cure everything, but she needs to start over. Your husband is lucky to have you to help him, to pick up everything and totally change your lives. Keeping temptation away and having new interests, I believe, is a huge step in recovery.
My parents have offered her help in moving back here, but she refuses. So now, hopefully, they are finished helping her financially.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.