View Full Version : Am I the only person...
domestic goddess
2-25-13, 3:23pm
who doesn't like spicy (hot) foods?
It sometimes seems to me that I must be the only person on earth ( or at least in America) who doesn't like hot, spicy foods. For that reason I loathe Mexican and/or Tex-Mex food, as it seems to me that there is little complexity in the food except for the combinations of peppers. I am very sensitive to spicy heat (and even temperature, to a certain extent) and prefer not to suffer with severe heartburn and/or burned mouth and tongue. Last night, dsil added hot pepper to a pot roast I was cooking in the slow cooker. This was a new recipe, and I wanted to make it as written before making changes, but didn't get the chance. The gravy was so hot I couldn't eat it, so the whole thing was ruined for me, because I love gravy. Because dsil opened the crockpot to add the peppers and didn't tell me, I didn't know to adjust the cooking time for the interruption and the vegetable were underdone. Okay, so I'm aggravated with him for several reasons. But it seems as if everyone else loves hot, spicy food, and all I do is suffer if I eat it. I've talked to dsil about how I can add more spice to his portion or he can add it at the table on several occasions, but it just doesn't seem to occur to him to do so. Last night I ended up hungry, and unable to eat the dinner I prepared because of his intervention. I did make a sandwich, but that wasn't so satisfying while everyone else was eating pot roast. (The kids didn't eat it, either; too hot for them.) Are there others who don't like or can't eat hot, spicy food?
I like a touch of spicy but I have noticed that EVERYONE is putting TOO much spice in everything. It's overkill, even for me.
I like spiced food, but not hot-spicy food, which causes heartburn for me. There is a difference... almost anything can be spicy without being hot. Even when I was able to eat foods spiced with hot chiles, I did not like it excessively spiced, because then I can't actually taste the food.
For your example of Mexican food, I generally use cumin, bell peppers, garlic, and oregano for seasoning. I find that most Mexican restaurants in the U.S. use a lot of salt and not much of anything else.
domestic goddess
2-25-13, 3:36pm
Thank you, MamaM. I used to like a bit of spice in my food, but now it seems that everything comes loaded with it. I'm sure that some of my problem with spicy food comes from aging, reflux and frequent heartburn, which can be truly agonizing at times, I mean, literally to the point that no amount or combination of antacids will help. But it sometimes seems as if you can hardly go anywhere and get a glass of water that isn't tainted with hot peppers! Dsil is going to be eating that pot roast until it is gone, and I'm not fixing anything else for him until it is. Yes, I know that sounds pretty vindictive, but he is tromping all over my last nerve, and this was the last straw. How nervy is it to open up someone else's pot and just add stuff, even when you know they don't like it?
domestic goddess
2-25-13, 4:01pm
Thanks, Rosemary. I like well-seasoned food, and that is often done with herbs and spices that lend a bit of heat, without being exclusively hot. I also don't like food so highly spiced that you can't taste the actual food. Seasoning should be a flavor enhancer, IMHO, not a substitute for the flavor of the food. Otherwise, why not just eat a bunch of hot peppers? Why bother with the expense of meat or other veggies with the peppers, if you're not going to taste it?
ApatheticNoMore
2-25-13, 4:02pm
No you're not alone. I personally enjoy a bit of heat in food (but not too much - mexican is usually to my taste, but thai food can be brutal), but I don't think *all* food needs it, I'm not a heat addict in other words. You might be a supertaster (there's a book recommended here called "some like it hot", I read it, supertasters don't get along with the heat!). I also have a suspicion that even if one is not a supertaster that younger generations have become acustomed to much more heat than older generations, they've just gotten used to it, habituated, and want it more. Why I like a little more heat than my mom probably.
Last night, dsil added hot pepper to a pot roast I was cooking in the slow cooker. This was a new recipe, and I wanted to make it as written before making changes, but didn't get the chance. The gravy was so hot I couldn't eat it, so the whole thing was ruined for me, because I love gravy.
There are ways to dial down the heat on overly spicy foods. Dairy is the time tested one. Add dairy to spicy foods and they won't be so spicy. Why yogurt is used with hot indian foods. Now I don't know if something like "cream of pot roast" exactly sounds good or not, but it would cut the heat :) Maybe sour cream. The other fix besides dairy is of course dilution - use small amounts of the potroast as a base in some other dish.
I love spicy food--though I've backed off from the "no pain, no gain" level of heat that can be self-defeating. Bland food in general is what I imagine they serve in hell. Mexican food can be simple or complex (hardly anything beats mole for layers of flavor), and a lot of Indian food is both spicy and complicated. I'd have trouble cooking for someone who really didn't like heat. I could do it, but I wouldn't want to do it often. Apathetic No More's advice about yogurt or other dairy is sound, and requesting heat be added at the table is reasonable in your situation--which seems to be a perfect illustration of "too many cooks spoil the broth."
Tussiemussies
2-25-13, 4:22pm
I don't like hot food, I often wonder what the enjoyment is of having a burning tounge! LOL :)
As much as I like spicy food, the not-so-dsil's sabotage of your recipe speaks loudly. It reminds me of the time my beloved and I were wrangling about something as he put together a salad. After he left in a huff (it seems there was a lot of that in those days) I dove into greens that were liberally spiked with finely chopped jalapenos. http://www.kolobok.us/smiles/standart/ireful1.gif Touche'.
Gardenarian
2-25-13, 5:13pm
I don't like spicy food and it doesn't like me. You are not alone!
treehugger
2-25-13, 5:21pm
Taste is so subjective. One person's "napalm" is another's "nuanced and flavorful."
Based on all the posts you have made about your son-in-law's behavior towards you, I personally would quit cooking for and taking care of him. This doesn't really appear to have much to do with hot sauce. It has to do with respect and how (not) to treat other people. I wish you much luck in finding boundaries that work for you.
Kara
IshbelRobertson
2-25-13, 6:07pm
I adore spicy Asian foods like curries. And thai soups and noodle dishes. The hotter the better.
Have to confess though that Mexican and many other South American cuisines leave me cold. Flabby breads and refried beans are probably at the top of my list of 'can't stand' foods.
I love spice, but there is hot and ' hot just for the sake of being hot' hot that really doesn't have any flavor to me.
I'd never adjust someone else's cooking - that was just too rude.
I always check when someone is coming to dinner "are there any spices you don't like or can't eat?" etc.
I love spicy food--though I've backed off from the "no pain, no gain" level of heat that can be self-defeating. Bland food in general is what I imagine they serve in hell.
I'm in total agreement. DW and I aren't usually into absolute pain either, but then our thresholds seem to be pretty high. We got together partly because we both love really spicy food so much. Our first few dates included dinners of Thai, Indian and Schezuan. The die was cast at that point. If this summer's garden goes according to plan there will be no less than 18 different types of chilies. Included will be Naga Bhut Jolokiaghost (ghost peppers from Bangladesh) and Moruga scorpion peppers from Trinidad. Not sure about the current standings, but both of those are somewhere near the top of the world's hottest list. Bring on the endorphin rush!!!
ETA: As much as I love heat, I would NEVER even consider adding it to someone else's cooking. That is unbelievably rude.
I'm a hot-and-spicy foods lover. Sriracha sauce (Rooster Sauce) is my favorite hot stuff in the whole wide world . I could put it on almost anything, I think. Haven't tried it on ice cream, tho ... I keep a bottle in my purse for emergencies ... :~)
However, I do love "totally tasteless" foods, too, where mouth-feel are really important.
But I would never spice up anyone else's food, and if we have company I tone down the spices.
... DW and I aren't usually into absolute pain either, but then our thresholds seem to be pretty high. We got together partly because we both love really spicy food so much. Our first few dates included dinners of Thai, Indian and Schezuan. The die was cast at that point. ...
Our dating history in a nutshell. Spicy food is pretty much what we have in common. He thought he didn't like onions when we met, but that changed quickly.
I hate to 'stir the crockpot', but did dsil apologize when he realized you couldn't eat the meal you had purchased and prepared? (I think d stands more for dam in this case than dear)
Another vote for Super Rude to season someone else's cooking unless invited to do so.
I do like spicy when it's appropriate --- TexMex, Salsas, Thai, Indian, etc
But making homey comfort food spicy REALLY bugs me.
My husband thought hot sauce was the ONLY seasoning when we first met and then I had just one too many spicy Chicken Pot Pies - YUCK.
Our shelves are loaded with a variety of hot sauces to use at the INDIVIDUAL's hearts content on their OWN plates -- Tennessee Sunshine, Tobasco, Pete's, and the Rooster Stuff.
I recently have discovered Sambal Oelek (sp) and Love It!
I'd just have to get curt with my dsil and tell him my cooking is hands off for his seasoning followed by a loving gift of assorted hot sauces.
Or maybe gift first, then lay down the law.
....
I recently have discovered Sambal Oelek (sp) and Love It!
that stuff is DA BOMB! I always have some in my 'fridge. DH like hot foods but I like it hotter. So, I'll make spaghetti sauce and will put in a bit of the hot stuff for me. I like it going in, I don't like it so much going out (haha) but it's still worth it.
I don't like spicy, either. Never have! Mild salsa is just fine for me! I do love the salsa con queso you can get in the stores, but it only comes in medium. That's about as hot as I can take it.
OMG... I LOVE spicy/hot food!
I love hot food, but DW grew up in a house where milk was a spice. :D
We've adapted. I can always add heat to a dish, but it is harder to take it out. I buy hot salsa for me and mild for her. Chipotle something for me and tomato for her. It works.
However, exposure to heat helps, too. DW now eats food hotter than she even suspects: I make my chicken soup with a couple of jalapenos minced into maybe 4-6 quarts of soup. If DW knew that she'd declare it "too hot". But she doesn't know that and she really likes the taste of my chicken soup.
Miss Cellane
2-26-13, 10:36am
I like hot, spicy food. It does not like me. I've actually gotten my mouth burned with spicy food that my brother made--he loves the heat and just puts in too many peppers for me.
We are not alone. There's a reason restaurants mark very hot, spicy dishes on their menus--because not everyone likes them or can eat them.
But I think the real problem here is SIL. I'd be sitting him down and having a long talk with him. In one meal, he did the following:
1) Changed the new recipe you were trying out, so you don't know if it works for you or not.
2) Caused part of the meal to be undercooked.
3) Added enough heat that at least three people (you and "the kids") were unable to eat it.
Seriously, I'd be very, very angry with him. And I'd lay down the law with him. If he wants hot, spicy food, he either buys it and cooks it himself, or he adds the "heat" when the food is on his own plate not while it is in the cooking stage, or he gets take-out.
I'm concerned that you seem to think the problem is that there's something wrong with your tastebuds, rather than something wrong with SIL's behavior.
If he does this again, I'd have a consequence waiting for him. Like, he has to go out and with his own money, buy me a meal I can eat, right away, even if his own food gets cold on the plate. Or he has to pay me, in full, for the cost of the ingredients of the meal I can no longer eat. Or he does the dishes, by hand, for the next week.
One person shouldn't be allowed to spoil a meal for several other people, just because he likes things hot. There are many, many other ways he can get the "heat" he wants that don't affect other people in the slightest. I don't know if this guy is just so self-centered that he can't understand that his tastes are not everyone's tastes, or if this is some kind of control thing that he has going on, but it needs to be stopped. You should be able to cook as you please in your own home. He can always get his own home if he doesn't like your cooking, and cook spicy hot dishes to his heart's content there.
Agreed. My sense is that the interpersonal dynamic here is the real issue.
DW reminded me of a story. We have some friends from Mexico that lived by us when the kids were very young. They had a baby the same age as our youngest. When their son just started teething the mom handed him a jalapeno to "chew" on for a minute or two. With no teeth yet he couldn't break the skin on the pepper, but there is just enough capsaicin on the outside to numb his gums. Worked like a charm. Apparently that trick is many, many centuries old. We tried it with DD2 and it worked like a charm. Now she loves hot food. Go figure.
I love hot food, but DW grew up in a house where milk was a spice. :D
We've adapted. I can always add heat to a dish, but it is harder to take it out. I buy hot salsa for me and mild for her. Chipotle something for me and tomato for her. It works.
However, exposure to heat helps, too. DW now eats food hotter than she even suspects: I make my chicken soup with a couple of jalapenos minced into maybe 4-6 quarts of soup. If DW knew that she'd declare it "too hot". But she doesn't know that and she really likes the taste of my chicken soup.
Lol Steve! I'm sneaky with heat as well, but without really intending to be. When the kids were young we obviously had to tone down the spice in a lot of things. Without giving it a lot of thought I just slowly started introducing it to them. A squirt of Tabasco in eggs, a dash of cayenne in the sloppy joes and so on. Now 2 of 3 love spicy food and ethnic food and anything adventurous. DD1 OTOH has Kraft mac and cheese taste buds. Her husband came from a family just like your wife's. Combine their senses of taste with the fact that neither of them is a good cook and, well, let's just say that we end up hosting most of the family dinners.
I probably should add that I do take into account DW's heat tolerance. I have warned her away from restaurant menu items I know she will find too spicy. I have pulled back on the heat levels in some new recipes (that is, used less than the recipe called for) in the interests of not burning anyone or anything. But I also know that people eat with their eyes and, if they don't like something, will far overestimate the impact of an ingredient on a dish. Two jalapenos in several quarts of soup or a chile in a quart of dal are invisible and contribute to those dishes, not overwhelming them.
All that said, OP's issue is not heat tolerance; it is respect of that tolerance.
Or just respect in general.
domestic goddess
2-27-13, 11:14am
Thanks to everyone. Sometimes I think it is just me, getting too "set in my ways" as I get older. It seems that I am mostly with younger people (good for the soul!), as dd's and dsil's friends stop by often. Perhaps that is why I have a skewed perspective on the heat issue. Most of them are find with very spicy food. I'm afraid they are going to pay for it later. I know I do, and I never really liked it all that hot. We do have a variety of hot sauces and spices around here, so that everyone doesn't have to eat only bland food because I can't take the spicy stuff. And I do pick up the spicier salsas and other treats for them, because I can either get something tamer or just opt out. When I added the veggies to the pot, I didn't see the strips of pepper, but it never occurred to me to look for such a thing. When I took them out, though, there were several strips of pepper. At first I thought it was strips of bell pepper, because he likes them, too, but one taste proved me wrong. It was mostly the gravy that was ruined (the best part, for me!), and it didn't occur to me to add dairy until a day later. Idiot! Anyway, a cream style gravy wouldn't have been awful. The meat I am going to shred for tacos, as it didn't seem to be too hot and that taco seasoning will take care of that. Someone ate the veggies, and a quick stint in the microwave fixed them. So it isn't totally awful, but I was really ticked. Dsil has yet to admit that he added anything, and I know it wasn't dd, because she is pregnant and has enough heartburn already. He and I have a lot of issues, and I don't think they are going to be resolved soon, but that is another matter. I could (and have!!) rant all day about our problems, but it doesn't change a thing. I am trying to eliminate that for Lent, but I am obviously still a work in progress. When I make food, it is there for anyone: family, friends, visitors. If we ran into someone hungry, they would be welcome to it, too, so I will not exclude a member of our little household from a meal. I will watch my pots a little more closely when he is home while I am cooking. I'm not sure he even ate the pot roast, as I never saw him eat it, but he and dd often eat during the night. My, we DO sound like a dysfunctional little group! But we function pretty well in our own way, most of the time. One of my granddaughters likes hot, spicy food, but she never asks for it. I'm not sure she understands the individual can control the heat of their meal or if she thinks it just comes that way. The older one is a wimp like her grandma. I'm glad I'm not alone in my distaste for "hot" dishes; I don't feel like such an oddity and spoil-sport now. I do sometimes wonder if the fact that he's a heavy smoker has to do with his love of all things pepper? I know dh liked spicy food, but toned it down quite a bit when he quit smoking.
I do sometimes wonder if the fact that he's a heavy smoker has to do with his love of all things pepper? I know dh liked spicy food, but toned it down quite a bit when he quit smoking.
I have heard that smoking affects the taste buds and have had friends who quit comment on how much better food tastes -- even when it is the same food prepared the same way.
I have heard that smoking affects the taste buds and have had friends who quit comment on how much better food tastes -- even when it is the same food prepared the same way.
Everyone I know enjoys spicy food, and only a couple of them smoke. Low zinc levels can affect taste--maybe that's the tie-in with cigarettes.
Domestic Goddess,
I can totally understand that you don't want to get into it with your SIL, but the mere fact that he won't admit that he added the peppers is troubling to me. If not he, then I'd want to know who.
i mean, come on....at least own up to it if you did it! You shouldn't have to watch him to make sure he doesn't sabotage your cooking!
You seem very forgiving and accepting and that's wonderful. But if he continues, there's more to it then him liking hotter food. It sounds passive-aggressive to me, but that's just IMO.
Barb
domestic goddess
3-4-13, 3:36pm
I doubt that dsil will ever add anything to anything else I ever cook. I talked about it to dd, as dsil is very confrontational and aggressive, and I'm the complete opposite. She was able to make him see that I can't tolerate the heat, but that there will be sauces and seasonings in the house so he can adjust his own, on his own plate. I think that is about as fair as we can make it, so it will just have to do. He can go out and get something firey hot for lunch while he is working, and maybe a more bland supper will be welcome then. Though I do use plenty of herbs and other seasonings when I cook, so I don't think it is so bland, but just use little of "the hot stuff". In all fairness, he did seed the pepper, which I saw when I saw it in the pot. So it could have been worse. But he understands that if it happens again, I will retire my spatula. I may not be the world's greatest cook, but at least I cook, and I am the only one here who does, so if I quit cooking, someone else will have to pick up the slack. Or they can spend the whole grocery budget in a couple of weeks on frozen, pre-made stuff or on take out. Not my problem, but I think the kids deserve better than that.
So I guess this little episode is at an end. Thank you all for your patience with me. I am back on track, and more calm now. Tonight is sloppy joes, and I do make good ones, if I do say so myself. Cole slaw, and I'm the only one who will eat that. Mac and cheese, and I do have a good recipe for that, so I"m happy. Made a pie yesterday that has survived until today, and I think there is some salad. Not dinner at the Ritz, but everyone will be full, and the budget won't be shot. Hope to get some more baking done today; I just can't bake fast enough to keep up with these folks, and their love of baked goods! Maybe I should have a bake sale and make them pay for their cupcakes and cookies! Anyway, thank you all a lot!
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