Speaking on seasonings...

[MamaM]

How do you feel when you make something and serve it and people automatically start to put salt, pepper, butter, other condiments on it BEFORE ever trying it as is first? The second part of this is putting condiments on food that just don't go together. Do you think it's rude?

Yes- this is something that irks me. I consider myself a decent cook. I try to seek balance and meet my family and friends needs/likes but I get irked when someone doesn't taste something first. Yes- dear hubby is very guilty of this. I always ask he try it first before making changes. Am I being difficult? :|( Tonight, I made mini meatballs and pasta, served in bowls with crusty bread and butter. He insisted on putting mozarella on his before trying what I had made. I just don't think it called for mozarella. I grew up in an Italian family, so I am not one to be the all knowing but I do tend to know what goes with what, for the most part. It's all about flavor and balance. I know. crazy wife...LOL >8)

[JaneV2.0]

I notice when you rarely cook for people, they are delighted with whatever you serve!

I'm trying to damp down that aforementioned bluntness of mine and opine that I think you should let people season their food and eat it without comment. If your husband likes mozzarella on his pasta, is it really necessary to hassle him about it? Apparently, as shown in another thread here, flavor and balance are extremely subjective matters.

From my childhood, a rhyme:
"I eat my peas with honey; I've done it all my life.
It does taste kind of funny, but it keeps them on my knife."

[sweetana3]

Being blunt, I think it indicates a desire to control and not a desire to please. They are probably doing it out of comfortable habit and are not making a comment about your food unless you are trying to change their previous eating habits (lowering salt, etc.)

[Zoebird]

I've noticed that it's largely a matter of habit.

When my ILs came over, they would put salt on everything when we ate at home, but try things before salting while out. This is because -- for years -- everoyne was cooking for one family member who had a heart condition, and so it had to be "low salt" (right?). As such, all food that was served in any family gathering had no added salt in it, and you could add what you wanted.

As such, for the last 30 or so years, my FIL has added salt to every meal before tasting it.

When we ate at home (which was most of the time), I had to remind DH not to salt things, becuase the first meal that we had, FIL deemed it as 'too salty." DH had seasoned it perfectly, and FIL had added salt without tasting it. Instead of pointing out that error, I realized that he was simply acting in habit. This is what you do to home-cooked food!

So, we adapted. And, to be honest, it was helpful in terms of managing all kinds of meals/needs. When I was a vegan serving thanksgiving dinner to an extended family with people with IBS, diabetes, heart conditions of various sorts, and DH's gut issues -- I was basically making things as accessible as possible to everyone. Things were well prepared and simple, spices were used -- but seasoning (salt) was not. Sauces were always on the side, as well, so that people could choose which ones and how much based on their unique dietary needs.

Is it offensive for people to act in a way that is habitual or conditioned? It may well be rude, but I don't think the intention is there.

In my own case, as hostess, I tend to talk to the guest before hand -- anything you can't eat (allergies)? Anything you don't eat (just don't like)? anything you won't eat (veganism, paleo, sugar free, etc)? Any flavor profiles or types of food you really love?

Once I have a sense of that, then I get to be creative and make a great meal that the guest (and hopefully I) will enjoy. It makes the meal much less stress.

[Rosemary]

It doesn't really bother me. I have a friend who always adds salt to anything I make before she tastes it. I know that her food is too salty for me, which unfortunately I cannot repair, and she knows that my food is not salty enough for her.

[herbgeek]

It only bothers me when my husband does it, because it implies (to me) a lack of faith in my cooking ability. He's been eating my food for 30 years, and he knows what it is going to taste like for most dishes. He laughs when I point this out, and says "ah, habit". His mother was a horrible cook, and the only flavor in her food was the condiments you added at the table. In my mind, his adding salt or ketchup to my lovingly prepared meal means my food is the same as his mother's in his mind.

[Mrs-M]

It's a pet-peeve of mine!


Originally posted by MamaM.
I grew up in an Italian familyI should have known by your username! One of my best friends in junior high/high school was Italian!

[larknm]

A thing that's been useful for me: someone once pointed out that identifying with people can lead to not letting them be different from you.

[treehugger]

I'm with the camp that isn't bothered by this. I'm a pretty good cook, and I enjoy cooking for others, but I just want them to enjoy it, whether that means they add salt or cheese or whatever. One exception: I don't think I would enjoy cooking for someone who put ketchup on everything. I have known people who do (not anyone I cook for regularly, thank goodness!) and I just don't get it. Why do you want all your food to taste the same??

Kara

[Gregg]

Ditto what Kara said. Except I've never known anyone who dumps ketchup on everything.

[treehugger]

Gregg, you are lucky! :)

Kara

[Miss Cellane]

There's a difference, to me, between seasonings that are added while the dish cooks, and the condiments that are added by individual eaters later.

So, to me, you should taste the food before adding salt or pepper or hot sauce or the like, because you don't know how much of each the dish already has. It could be perfectly seasoned to your taste, without needing any other seasoning.

On the other hand, something that isn't already in the dish, like the OP's DH's mozzarella, or adding ketchup to scrambled eggs, is different. Those are not already in the food. If you know you only like scrambled eggs with ketchup, then taste-testing them first isn't necessary. If you know you like mozzarella with your pasta and you know none was used in the making of the meal, then it's okay to add it without tasting it.

[MamaM]

My brother in law puts ketchup on EVERYTHING. I think it's kinda digusting. That's just me. :)

I guess I grew up in a very traditional Italian family. You ate what you were given and didn't have too many options outside of trying something for the first time and passing on seconds. It was considered offensive to "alter" food given to you, other maybe a little salt or pepper or hot peppers added AFTER taking an initial bite.So I am thinking this is a cultural thing with me.

[Jilly]

Does not bother me at all. Everyone has different tastes and that can change from time to time, even from meal to meal. Food is fraught with enough peril and expectations, and I cannot imagine (in the sweetest possible way, of course :~)>8) ) thinking anyone should eat exactly like I do. If I cook something and no one dies, that is a successful meal.

[KayLR]

Not ketchup, but barbecue sauce on all meat served. sheesh. I just bite my tongue. Not worth the battle.

[IshbelRobertson]

I couldn't care less what people do with my culinary efforts. I cookmfor the joy of it, how others choose to eat it? Water off a duck's back. I've got bigger things in which to invest my energies!

[SteveinMN]

So I am thinking this is a cultural thing with me.
Food preparation and presentation is a very cultural thing. There rarely are salt or pepper shakers at good Asian restaurants. Or knives. Food is expected to be served either properly seasoned or with appropriate seasonings presented with the dish at table, and cut so that knives are not necessary. Of course, Asian etiquette also often permits mouthfuls of food the size of which would be frowned upon in other cultures. But there's that cultural thing again....

[JaneV2.0]

Ditto what Kara said. Except I've never known anyone who dumps ketchup on everything.

When I was a little kid, we seemed to eat a lot of steak for dinner. I didn't like it much, so after it was cut up for me I would drown it in ketchup and pile on chopped onion. I still don't like steak much, but I'm sooo much more sophisticated as an adult. :~) Now I cut it up and cook it with onions and tomatoes. In curry sauce. With a dollop of sambal oelek. Some things never really change.

[domestic goddess]

If I'm cooking something new, I, at least, like to be able to taste it in its original state so I can decided what changes I would make if I make it again. Everyone is free to make their own alterations to their portion. I tend to use very little salt, but sometimes I use a product in a dish that has added salt, so then I will suggest to others that they taste it first. Otherwise, I know that just about everyone likes more salt than I do. Gee, do I just have picky taste buds? I got used to "no added salt" cooking when dh was alive, and have just never changed back. I often forget to put salt and pepper shakers on the table, but everyone knows where they are. Dsil adds salt to everything; I think he would add salt to salt! DD will sometimes add a bit of salt, but she grew up with me, and so is used to less salty fare. There are some things that I just have to have a bit of salt on. Eggs and potatoes come to mind, but I also like ketchup on my eggs, so that is plenty of salt for me. I was raised with the ketchup on eggs thing, and can't eat scrambled eggs without it. Nor could my mom. But I digress. I wouldn't quibble with anyone adding cheese to something, as we are a big cheese-eating family and put it on a lot of dishes. (like eggs! Then no other salt for me, either, as cheese is usually quite salty) Since I know that others like spicier food than I do, I don't think anything about anyone adding the seasoning of their choice, to their portion. I tend to think of my meal as a canvas; everyone can paint their part of the canvas with their own colors.

[Gregg]

When I was a little kid, we seemed to eat a lot of steak for dinner. I didn't like it much, so after it was cut up for me I would drown it in ketchup and pile on chopped onion. I still don't like steak much, but I'm sooo much more sophisticated as an adult. :~) Now I cut it up and cook it with onions and tomatoes. In curry sauce. With a dollop of sambal oelek. Some things never really change.


Lol. We raised cattle when I was growing up so steak wasn't much different for us than gardners having a tomato. We had it almost daily. Thanks to my Mom being bored with it I probably know 300 different ways to prepare a steak. Some use ketchup.

[Miss Cellane]

I have an ex-sister-in-law who would never put salt and pepper shakers on the table, because the way she seasoned food during cooking was the right way. No alterations allowed. She thought my family was very odd for putting not one, but two sets, of salt and pepper shakers on the table every night for dinner. We thought she needed to learn to be a better cook if she wasn't going to let anyone add the tiniest bit of salt to the food.

[dogmom]

Food that's too salty - don't know what that means - I could put salt on bacon and enjoy it.:~) Fortunately I have low blood pressure.