View Full Version : When introversion gets in the way
boss mare
2-28-13, 11:02pm
I am shell shocked.... For the last 3 years at this time of the year my DH's daughter and her now 2 year old son have come to our house for 2 months at a time to visit. These visits have been very stressful for me... I am a huge introvert at heart... I can play the part of a very outgoing person, but when I am done, I am DONE. DH is gone for 24 hours at a time with his job ( Fire fighter) and that is my salvation for my sanity Backstory DSD, her DH were stationed in Japan While they were there they had a baby. This last round they have been here for 3 months because they were through with thier stint in Japan and they were living with us while they were house hunting. They just moved out on Sunday However I have become even more of a mess due to the non stop noise, clutter,and no way of getting away from all of the people that have been here and work has been over the top stressful for me too . I work in the dental field and have been working part time with a dentist that has taken on more then they could handle financially when they bought a very beautiful but dilapidated Craftsman house and converted into very beautiful but very costly office, in an area that has alot of dentists and that has a very high unemployment rate.
Our patient load has decreased as all of the other dental offices in this area have experienced... I would come home from work and go straight to my bedroom
I was having anxeity attacks... The baby running up and down the hall and screaming and rattling my bedroom door would cause my heart to race even more.. And then... Then all of the electronic toys and gadgets along with noise he has to have .. At work I would drop things, and edge to my voice that I could not get rid of no matter how hard I tried
A month ago I went to the Dr to see what could be done.. This was situtational so I did not want to create a problem because they would soon be moving out... I just needed something to get through What I was prescribed did not even come close to even making a dent into the symptoms. I ended up going to the local Urgent Care 4 days later and was prescribed a low dose of Xanax and just enough until I could get to my regular Dr . 3 days worth OMG relief I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I was for those pills... Well I went back to my regular Dr and told her what ended up happening I got another precription for Xanx and an antidpressant... Well here I am a total mess the Xanax is not working... Even though all of the people are out of my house, The other day I had a huge issues with the dentist I work for and I have been having all of the anxiety issues again my mind is racing non-stop my heart is racing and my hands have been trembling.
DH and I were not getting along as he does not get the whole introversion thing ... I was very upfront about mine when we met and introversion runs very very deep on his mothers side of the family and I pointed that out during our last discussion. He later did admitt that yes, there has been alot of people, clutter and noise and it was getting out of hand but there was an end in sight... And yes they are gone but all of the anxiety is still here
Between this and the work issues I feel very broken and defeated
I have no answers but I totally feel your anguish because I am just like you...slightly different situation but tonight I feel so depleted of everything within myself and sleep has been a big issue due to my work schedule and new room mate. Ambien (for sleep) doesn't seem to work on me. As you mentioned your symptoms, I just realized a few times in the last few days my heart had moments where it was pounding and racing (from too much coffee/lack of sleep/Ambien not working?) and then having to go to work anyway under sleep deprivation. Who knows...I know it just isn't right for me either and I don't know what to do to fix it. You are not alone, at least. God I wish I could retire or at least have a vacation from everyone and everything, and that winter would go away...
Okay, for both our sakes, let's do some deep breathing and calming exercises before bed time...hang in there....
At least I don't feel alone on this... Ambien works better on me if I take it on an empty stomache or a light dinner. I gave up the coffee since it was making things worse... I have ben doing some deep breathing and that does help . Thank you for making me that I am not alone with this
I, too, am very much an Introvert (capital letter intentional). I absolutely need time to myself -- not just "quiet time", but time and a place with no one around. So I feel your pain, boss mare.
What I can tell you is:
- it takes time for drugs like Xanax and Zoloft to build up in your system. I'm surprised the original Xanax Rx worked so quickly for you, but there may have been some placebo effect in there that is no longer making an impact. You may need a higher dose. You may need a different drug. No drug works for everyone; it all depends on what chemical deficiency your body is experiencing. Even so, it may take some time for that chemical level to build up in your body. I would call your doctor and tell her what you're experiencing and ask if maybe you should try a different drug. Or maybe a referral to a psychologist or even a hypnotist (?) to consider alternative techniques.
- your husband needs to understand you have a need to "get away". Everyone reacts to stress differently. Some people work out; others play action video games; others just need a quiet place to gather their thoughts. DH has his way to deal with stress; he must allow you yours (even if he doesn't fully get why it works for you). This is just another difference between you two, and it's not like your taking care of yourself this way takes away so much from him. Establish your boundaries. Maybe set up some kind of signal so he knows when you need to get away.
- you need to recognize when you're reaching the "DONE" point. By now you've probably become adept at anticipating the situations which drain you. Control them if you can. Maybe now that toddler makes three, a two-month visit is just too long. Maybe it's time to make it one month or two three-week visits. See if there are some other commitments you can shift out of these times or maybe you go lightly on housework and meals -- lessen your burden (or shift it to DH).
I hope that helps.
Thanks Steve Well luckily those long visits have come to an end as they are now back in the US and have a house of their own about an hour away from us. A Very Large House... We can come and visit and then leave when I have had too much LOL I don't want to be sounding like The Grinch but didn't Jean-Paul Sarte once say " Hell is other people" :~)
I am actually quite the introvert. I understand the need for solid blocks of just quiet time. What has helped me ALOT is scheduling this time. Having fell off the wagon on this one, I have made it a priority again. I love my family deeply but they do not understand I just need some alone time. Even when we went to the beach, I took a quiet 20 minute walk all by myself down the beach. It's hard to explain to people who don't understand. When I hosted Thanksgiving this past year, I was wiped out for 3 days after. Hubby just thought I was sick or being lazy. It takes a LOT of energy for me to be social for a long time.
Another thing that has greatly helped me is getting my home in order. I don't like a lot of chaos or things. This resulted in dropping off 2 truckloads- we are talking 4 door pick up loaded to the brim with stuff, about 3 months ago. I need things simple and orderly to be calm. Again, I feel a lot of times my hubby does not understand this but it does help my mood and anxiety. Just an idea.
(((HUGS)))
As a fellow (and unrepentant) introvert, I feel your pain. I'm in a fortunate situation in not having to be "on" very often, but I can remember when I didn't have that choice.
When one of us was twanged out, my mother used to suggest "Eat a nice steak, dear." (Steak was clearly a panacea in our family.) She was right though--when you're nervous or upset, eating a nutrient-dense meal with plenty of protein and natural fat can be healing. And the comfort foods we often turn to--full of sugar and starches--are just the opposite. There's nothing like a blood sugar roller coaster to make everything worse. Take good care of yourself.
I am actually quite the introvert. I understand the need for solid blocks of just quiet time. What has helped me ALOT is scheduling this time. Having fell off the wagon on this one, I have made it a priority again. I love my family deeply but they do not understand I just need some alone time. Even when we went to the beach, I took a quiet 20 minute walk all by myself down the beach. It's hard to explain to people who don't understand. When I hosted Thanksgiving this past year, I was wiped out for 3 days after. Hubby just thought I was sick or being lazy. It takes a LOT of energy for me to be social for a long time.
Another thing that has greatly helped me is getting my home in order. I don't like a lot of chaos or things. This resulted in dropping off 2 truckloads- we are talking 4 door pick up loaded to the brim with stuff, about 3 months ago. I need things simple and orderly to be calm. Again, I feel a lot of times my hubby does not understand this but it does help my mood and anxiety. Just an idea.
(((HUGS)))
Yes I knew that if I came here I would find like minded people Clutter makes my head spin and I have a pretty clutter free home... But DSD does like to shop and seems to buy stuff with tons of packaging. I am very big on recycling and I had to have DH talk to her several times about not everything goes into same garbage can .
gimmethesimplelife
3-1-13, 11:31am
I am also an Introvert, with a capital I too. Boss mare, I can relate on a few levels.
What your posts have me thinking of is when I would go into a serving job totally exhausted from not sleeping the night or nights before due to the stress. Sometimes thing would go wrong at a table and I had to go to another table with no downtime, no time to process, no time to rationalize away the insanity of the situation. Under these conditions it is possible to sink, to have problems going on at multiple tables beyond what you can bury with personality, and few managers are going to understand such a thing. I have had situations where my heart would start pounding and all I could process through my head was how many months my savings would last me if I were fired from what was going on on the floor. Then I would get shaky and start making even more mistakes.
Luckily, this did not happen often but when it did, it tended to happen when I was very sleep deprived, which is why now sleep is one of my priorities. I have been told by people I have shaved a good ten years off my appearance, and all I have done is leave the business and start sleeping.
And I digress from the topic which was introversion. To get back to that, I am seeing now more and more how I was TOTALLY in the wrong business and how "being on stage" in a high contact customer service position was a very bad fit for me. I thought for awhile it was helping me deal with people better, but I am not shy and already have what I consider fairly good people skills - just not to be used every workday all day long and then with no sleep on some days. To deal with such a volume of people, for me anyway, is just a recipe for burnout. But at least I understand this now.
I don't know that all the particulars of your situation. What has helped for me is getting my bills under $700 a month - this is me housed, fed (but not at a quality I would like on food), and transported where I need to go. Getting my bills down to this has given me the option to make less money doing something else a better fit for me THEREBY HAVING A MUCH HIGHER QUALITY OF LIFE. I capitalized this last as this logic seems to go against so much of what society would have you believe.
Right now I am doing banquets (crazy pace but minimal customer contact), selling things online (a pretty good fit for me) and doing secret shops (had some issues with this but have worked through them to where I can live with it). Getting rid of clutter in my life has also helped as has realizing that for me, personally, a lot of what this society would have you do, think, and believe is just not going to work for me. I knew that before but have come to finally accept it.
I wish you well on getting your life into some kind of order that works better for you.....Not an easy task for me but I think there's hope as I personally have made progress in this area. Rob
As a fellow (and unrepentant) introvert, I feel your pain. I'm in a fortunate situation in not having to be "on" very often, but I can remember when I didn't have that choice.
When one of us was twanged out, my mother used to suggest "Eat a nice steak, dear." (Steak was clearly a panacea in our family.) She was right though--when you're nervous or upset, eating a nutrient-dense meal with plenty of protein and natural fat can be healing. And the comfort foods we often turn to--full of sugar and starches--are just the opposite. There's nothing like a blood sugar roller coaster to make everything worse. Take good care of yourself.
And I was not eating well either... I was stopping by Mc Donalds on the way home would wolf down a Big Mac washed down with diet coke and come home and then go straight to my room after I got home and took the dogs out and fed the horses. I am not a TV watcher but there was two things that I wanted to watch ( The Oprah/Lance Armstrong interview and Westminster ) while they were there and just could not handle the noise level of people talking, the TV it itself and the volume of the battery operated toys all in the same room
I am starting to eat better
CaseyMiller
3-1-13, 12:31pm
Two months with a toddler? That sounds extreme I could not handle it on an-going basis either. Something like that would put me out of sync for the whole year. In fact, I would be so against it, that I would be willing to pay for an apartment or other lodging for the guests just so I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Another option is just say "no" they can't stay with you.
Miss Cellane
3-1-13, 1:16pm
Well, first of all, I think even some extroverts would have problems with a house guest who was noisy, didn't control the toddler and left stuff all over the place for three months. Being introverted might make the impact worse, but there are aspects of your step-daughter's behavior that would negatively affect a lot of non-introverts to some extent.
I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm introverted and I just had my 12 year old niece and 8 year old nephew here for two weeks, while their brother had surgery. They are absolutely wonderful, well-behaved kids, and I love them to pieces. I am also very glad they have gone home. The silence is wonderful.
Check with your doctor. Maybe it's time for a complete physical to see if there are any underlying medical issues that could be contributing to your overall state. And do get the meds checked.
On another front, there are people who simply do not "get" introverts. I've stopped trying to explain things to them. Instead I make a very clear statement of what I need. In your shoes, coming home from a stressful day of work to a House of Chaos, I'd be telling my DH something like this: "Dear H, I had a very bad day at work. I came home hoping for a bit of peace and quiet to unwind. Instead, the tv is blaring, the baby's playing with that noisy electronic gizmo and Dear Stepdaughter has 6 friends over. Now I have a headache. I need to go lie down for an hour, the friends need to go home or into SD's room and the toy has to be silenced. Thank you for taking care of that for me."
If they should visit again, set ground rules. When you are home, noise and visitors and clutter are kept to a minimum. Maybe rent a tv for your bedroom, or SD's, whichever works best to give *you* peace and quiet. Noisy toys are only for when you aren't home. While I realize that your DH wants to have a welcoming home for her, that should not be at the cost of your own home becoming a nightmare for you.
If SD doesn't like the new rules, she's free to get a hotel room.
Life_is_Simple
3-1-13, 2:26pm
It sounds like in addition to being an Introvert, you are a Highly Sensitive Person. You can read the books by Elaine Aron on the topic. But Ted Zeff writes shorter coping books on the topic. I have 2:
- The Highly Sensitive Person's Companion
- The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide
Maybe the Survival Guide is better. I'm going to look through these again myself.
I have Musician's Earplugs because I can't tolerate loud noise. They cut out the bass, and harsh sounds, but are kind of expensive. Molds are taken of your ears so they fit in exactly. Mine were $150, but well worth it.
I'm thinking of also getting construction worker-type ear muffs to just block out everything when needed.
...
I'm thinking of also getting construction worker-type ear muffs to just block out everything when needed.
I stack regular earplugs and rifle-range type ear protection packed with extra foam, and I can still hear a lawn mower a mile away. http://www.kolobok.us/smiles/standart/help.gif I'm glad I have good hearing, but I'd love a sound-proofed house.
It takes time to recover from these kinds of events and with he recent difficulties at work it sounds like you aren't able to.
As you mentioned, it is situational but just because the situation is better doesn't mean you'll feel better instantly.
A single day out for me often takes 2 or 3 days of quiet time to recover before I feel like going out again. Months at a time with others including a toddler would be at least 4 months before I would feel human again!
Feel better, Boss Mare! My anxiety levels spike whenever I'm forced into those situations too. Afterwards, it feels like some sort of PTSD....it can take days for me to recover. I go on a crash healing with:
--not a lot of sodium (it makes me super-anxious)
--good healthy food, mostly protein and vegetables
--gentle bouts of exercise wherever I can get them, preferably with some sort of soothing talk on my iPod
--lots of fluids, no soda or junk, just like I'm trying to recover from being sick
--only spending time with supportive people. The ones that "get" me - none of the ones that don't.
Hugs from one introvert to another. Agree with the suggestion about the Highly Sensitive Person above.
awakenedsoul
3-1-13, 8:07pm
I'm an introvert, too. Glad to hear your SD has her own house now. That should be a big help. I have to avoid certain groups of people. I recently stopped taking a class because several of the people were so negative. I was paying to learn knitting, but some of the women spent the entire two hours complaining about their lives. They would go on and on about financial, health, and family problems. I felt sick when I left. Instead of teaching, the teacher would vent. I was having to learn the stitches on Youtube. For me, exercise, healthy food, (especially protein, as mentioned above,) journaling, gentle yoga, a hot bath, or a good book do wonders.
gimmethesimplelife
3-1-13, 8:18pm
Feel better, Boss Mare! My anxiety levels spike whenever I'm forced into those situations too. Afterwards, it feels like some sort of PTSD....it can take days for me to recover. I go on a crash healing with:
--not a lot of sodium (it makes me super-anxious)
--good healthy food, mostly protein and vegetables
--gentle bouts of exercise wherever I can get them, preferably with some sort of soothing talk on my iPod
--lots of fluids, no soda or junk, just like I'm trying to recover from being sick
--only spending time with supportive people. The ones that "get" me - none of the ones that don't.
Hugs from one introvert to another. Agree with the suggestion about the Highly Sensitive Person above.This sounds like wonderful advice for recovering from stressful situations in general.....Rob
It took me several years to get the highly sensitive part figured out. It should have been obvious but once I started finding things written about it all things fell into place. I am sight and sound sensative. I had no idea that the brightness of certain types of light (flourescent being the worst) just does me in. I didn't connect it. Too much color and light moving around like in crowds or in a mall gets me too. The worst is sound. I am so sensitive to the slightest sound it isn't funny. My mom always said I had dog hearing. I can hear conversations at the other end of the house or at tables across a crowded restaraunt. If sound is consistent I can handle it but when it isn't I go nuts. I have to have alone time every day to recharge. If I know I'm going into an environment that will test me I have to rest up before and after. Now that I know my triggers I adjust myself accordingly.
My son was the same way from birth. He was a happy baby at home where lighting and sound was low. Grocery stores or restaraunts....... forget about it. He also has problems with crowds and malls and will avoid if at all possible. I was a single mom and when I married and we combined households and there were more people with more sound in the house it was a huge adjustment for both of us.
I feel your pain............
Tussiemussies
3-1-13, 9:41pm
Hi boss mare, I am a big introvert too. I could have never have made it through your situation that you went through with your family. It must be another stressor that your DH does not understand. Someone I am close to takes Xanax and you can go up in dosage on that, so maybe you need to talk to your Dr. About that since it is no longer working. The only thing with that drug is that it leaves you very tired.
Are you able to go for walks? That used to help me a lot. I would also take some vitamins and herbs that are good for your nervous system.
Think you need to know where your personal boundaries lie in what is manageable or not for you and take care of yourself this way. In 12 step they
say, make it manageable. Try not to put yourself into situations that would trigger off feeling overwhelmed sensory and otherwise.
Wish you the very best. Christine
Wildflower
3-1-13, 11:16pm
Goodness, that would have stressed me to the max! I love my grandkids dearly, but after spending a few days with the little ones 24/7 - I am always so ready for a break....they are noisy little creatures! :) I couldn't imagine doing it for the length of time that you had a toddler in your home. My sympathies!
Well, the good thing is it's over, and you won't have to do it again since they live so close now. Now you just need to wind down, destress, and enjoy your quiet life again. I think it may take you a few days. It's like PTSD that you are experiencing now. Give yourself lots of self care. Do the things that bring you comfort and peace....
I understand exactly what you are going through. I read your post and wanted to reply instantly, but I was using my android tablet. There was no way I could type out a message using that tiny screen. LOL We have too many extended visits by my husband's sister. I finally told him enough was enough. There has to be a limit. Do what you need to do to regain calmness in your life. For me, I feel rejuvinated by a long walk, playing my guitar, working in the yard, or chatting on the phone with a friend.
I've been in Honolulu all week for work. So many friends and coworkers are completely jealous and have commented that at least i can stay over the weekend and enjoy it. But the truth is that after five days of three meetings per day where i had to do a 1 1/2 hour presentation the last thing i wanted to do today was anytging at all where other people were around. Even going to the beach sounded draining so i've spent most of the day in my hotel room reading a book and listening to music and takin a nap. Admittedly the view from my 14th floor ocean view room is very nice...
Thinking about the OP's situation, there is not a single person in this world that i would want to come stay with us for more than a week, much less a whole family of people for months. I would have to move out. The fact that you survived to tell the tale is testimony to your strength.
Something struck me about your post, boss mare, and I realize that it's the subject "When introversion gets in the way".
"Gets in the way" of what? It sounds as though there is some RIGHT way you think you should be feeling, and your darned introversion is stopping you.
The truth is, you are who you are. You have a right to your own preferences about life. The only right way is the way that lets you honor yourself and feel good about being in your home, your skin, your life. I probably would word it, "When others' demands don't respect my introversion" LOL
Don't hesitate to set boundaries around this. There is nothing wrong with how you feel.
My guess is that introverts were useful members of ancient tribes--as scientists, inventors, shamans, scouts, and lookouts.
I would never talk just to be social. Now, to sit down with a bunch of engineers and talk about the latest concrete forming systems, that's really interesting. Talking with animal behaviorists or with someone who likes to sail, that's interesting. Information is interesting to me. But talking for the sake of talking, I find that quite boring.--Temple Grandin
Ok...I am an introvert to the core, but I can't believe that most extroverts would particularly enjoy a houseguest for 2 months at a time...three years in a row! What a disruption!!! My sister and her husband are also in the military and she came home for 6 weeks while he was away. My mom told her upfront that she could not stay for that long...two weeks at a time was the max due to her nature for conflict and the fact their dogs don't get along. A few tears were shed but in the end she rented a room with a girl she used to be roommates with and life was much more harmonious. Is your DH's family staying with you for monetary reasons...could you and DH afford to house them in a short term rental or extended stay hotel suite? Just thinking out loud...it might be cheaper than the after math of anxiety.
Also, I wanted to correct a statement someone made earlier. Xanax does not need time to build up in the system. It is effective almost immediately (less than 30 minutes) and has high potential for tolerance and dependence. I don't want to sound chastise-y because I do not mean it that way, as I have struggled with anxiety for years and have have a background in mental health. A good doctor will not prescribe it to you every day for a long period of time as it will be setting you up for problems long term. It is something that should be used only in those moments of real panic/anxiety and you really should be working on the long term strategy to get that under control. Zoloft sounds like the long term strategy, but I have found that personally if I really focus on stress level, eating habits, and exercise then I rarely need medication.
Another introvert here - I hurt for you... My family rule is three days. First day it's nice to see them, second day it's not too bad, third day it's gO HOME NOW!!!
If i have to have visitors (eg Christmas) I just go off into my bedroom for some quiet time and leave them to it.
Blackdog Lin
3-3-13, 8:43pm
I'm doing a little "hee hee" here after reading the last couple of posts. We are heading out on a half-continental trip to see my DSM soon, and as soon as she heard we were coming she tried to insist that we stay with her! and we stay for the whole week! and everything just like we used to do back in the 80's, when we were young and poor and had no other choices for visiting.
I an fortunate to have more choices now, so we will be visiting for 3 days only, and have a hotel room for the nights we are there. She's elderly, we're introverts, and I know in my heart that I have planned the trip for the best. We'll get plenty of love and visiting without putting either her or us out too much. We NEED our downtime, like so many of you have said.....
Wow thank you all so much for the advice and support !!!! I don't post very often but when I do I always get good feed back... I just came back for a horse show.. I did have some stressfull moments and I did feel rather faint and dizzy at one point and jsut had to say " I am done" I have not gotten that stressed at a show before and I have shown at the National and World level of my breed of choice ( Appaloosa ) and this was just a little low level practice show I am going to make an appointment for the Dr first thing tommorrow morning Again Thank you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
k !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Something struck me about your post, boss mare, and I realize that it's the subject "When introversion gets in the way".
"Gets in the way" of what? It sounds as though there is some RIGHT way you think you should be feeling, and your darned introversion is stopping you.
The truth is, you are who you are. You have a right to your own preferences about life. The only right way is the way that lets you honor yourself and feel good about being in your home, your skin, your life. I probably would word it, "When others' demands don't respect my introversion" LOL
Don't hesitate to set boundaries around this. There is nothing wrong with how you feel.
What I meant was that it gets in the way of me living my life and how much it a domino affect it had for me... I have been showing horses forever and I was so anxtiey ridden (pardon the pun) that I could no longer ride my horse this week end
Even the phone ringing sets it off
I have tried to "power through" things most of my life and here I am approaching 52 and although I don't look my age ( except for lately ) I find simply cannot " POwer through" as well as I have
I will saying this anxiety thing does nothing for my looks I look very haggard
Tussiemussies
3-4-13, 12:53pm
What I meant was that it gets in the way of me living my life and how much it a domino affect it had for me... I have been showing horses forever and I was so anxtiey ridden (pardon the pun) that I could no longer ride my horse this week end
Even the phone ringing sets it off
I have tried to "power through" things most of my life and here I am approaching 52 and although I don't look my age ( except for lately ) I find simply cannot " POwer through" as well as I have
I will saying this anxiety thing does nothing for my looks I look very haggard
Boss mare, it does sound to me like you are having post-traumatic stress disorder. You might want to look at the symptoms on a reliable website. They do have meds for this and their might be a daily med that is not habit forming. I really hope this gets better for you. Christine
Once when this happened to me, I told a friend afterwards who said, You need to revise your houseguest policy. I did and it helps.
Just came across this cute cartoon on how to approach introverts:
http://www.thinkinghumanity.com/2014/10/this-is-how-to-interact-with-the-introverted.html
I thought it was great--extroverts often don't get us introverts. DH is extroverted and when I or my introverted son want to go up to our rooms, shut the door and read for two hours, he doesn't get it. He doesn't get the concept of "enough" social interaction. He doesn't get why I get angry if he invites someone over without asking me first. He tends to think quiet people are "weird." And he is the most gossip-y male I've ever met. He just feeds on it, and I have absolutely no time for it.
This little cartoon helps explain it!
rosarugosa
1-4-15, 10:45am
Great cartoon, Catherine!
Teacher Terry
1-4-15, 2:56pm
I am an extrovert happily married to one but we still each need our own alone & quiet time. The older I get the more I need.
Blackdog Lin
1-5-15, 9:00pm
Up until I hit the age of 50 or so I thought I was "shy", and I had terrible guilt for hating social interaction and not being better at it.
I finally learned that I am simply an introvert, and learning about it I figured out that I genetically come from a long (well large if not long) family history of introverts. We're ALL introverts. We LOVE to get together - for about 30 minutes. :) It is too obviously genetic, on my maternal side.
And in the last few years (especially since retiring) I am learning to embrace my introversion. I still have a little guilt.....but just a little. As they say, "yeah I could leave the house and go out there.....but there are PEOPLE out there."
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