Pace makers and end of life issues.

[Merski]

Just finished helping dear MIL in the last "journey" of her life. She was terminally ill so we asked at the hospital if they would turn her pacemaker off and either we were told that they couldn't reach the cardiologist or it wouldn't really make any difference. It did and they lied. If you are doing an advanced directive for yourself or helping a parent with some of these choices, don't let them leave the pacemaker on. My very elderly and weak mother in law survived for one week without food and water because of that pacemaker! She would not have wanted that and it was very stressful for all of us. Hope this makes sense.

[puglogic]

Just finished helping dear MIL in the last "journey" of her life. She was terminally ill so we asked at the hospital if they would turn her pacemaker off and either we were told that they couldn't reach the cardiologist or it wouldn't really make any difference. It did and they lied. If you are doing an advanced directive for yourself or helping a parent with some of these choices, don't let them leave the pacemaker on. My very elderly and weak mother in law survived for one week without food and water because of that pacemaker! She would not have wanted that and it was very stressful for all of us. Hope this makes sense.

Merski, bless you for being there for your MIL all the way to her rest. It made me think of my father, who really was done fighting but who had a defibrillator (ICD).....so every time his heart was ready to finally go to sleep, it would give his heart a little shock to jolt him back into life again. He hated that thing towards the end, and intentionally (I believe) missed the appointment to replace its tiny battery. He died shortly thereafter, peacefully. Good advice, thanks so much for sharing it with everyone.

[lmerullo]

Thank you - for being there for MIL and for sharing this wisdom. There are some things that just don't occur unless you've been through it. Sorry for your loss.

[MamaM]

So sorry (((HUGS)))

[bae]

Also, if you have a directive, please make sure those who live with you/care for you know of it, and have a copy real handy. It does no good at all if it is sitting in a drawer, and nobody knows it is there.

One of the first things they taught us in our first-responder class was to ask about if there is a directive in place. We need to see it. Or we'll get heroic :-(

[Gardenarian]

Merski - yes, it makes perfect sense, and this is good information to have.
I'm so sorry your mother-in-law had to suffer due to this.

[sweetana3]

Was your relative under hospice care? The reason I ask is the competing dictates of hospital versus hospice. Hospitals and doctors often (not always) fight any life shortening procedures even for quality of life issues. Hospice often makes such decisions/actions easier for staff to implement.

Good warning for all of us. Thank you and I offer my sympathy for your loss.

[Tussiemussies]

Thank you for letting us know about this. I am so very sorry that you MIL had to endure no food or water for the last week of her life. How terrible.

[razz]

When DH was facing his end of life issues, the nurse asked him if he wanted to be revived and he was still able to respond "no", the attending specialist noted that he had directed Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) on a previous emergency hospital visit and asked my wishes. Because we had discussed this many times over our years together I was able to very firmly state that "We have talked about this for years and he does not wish to be revived." Further I quietly but emphatically stated that my DH was suffering severe stress at that moment. Immediately, the MD ordered morphine injected, DH became quietly comfortable and relaxed and was moved into a palliative care room where he passed away peacefully 7 hours later.

I would add to what others have said and strongly recommend that you talk to everyone abou about your end of life wishes, put them in writing and affirm frequently whenever the topic comes up in the news etc. We discussed them often with family and friends. Pacemakers etc can be included in the discussion