View Full Version : Sometimes I feel like a nervous wreck
I don't want to make a huge, long vent......Sometimes I get pretty overwhelmed by things in life. Tax returns, personal finance, diet, exercise, work, bad news on the news. I know that things that help are exercise, yoga, quieting activities (I don't actually mediate) but then there are times that doesn't happen. I just went back to school to work on my bachelor's degree and that in addition to many other things seems to be a stressor. But does anyone else ever feel so overwhelmed by the process of life that they are nervous or anxious? I try not to listen to too much news. Perhaps that's my problem this week...I've been listening and reading news again. It's really hard at times to focus. I know I probably have a form of ADD because focusing is very difficult for me. What kind of things work for people?
How long is it going to take you to finish your degree? I was on a 3.5 year long period of intense study (a local theological program on top of studying for my customs brokers license). The last year, when I was studying for license exam, was the worst. You literally will have to pare stuff out of your life. Only you know what will able to be trimmed. It probably won't be forever, but just for 1-2 years, whatever.
Setting boundaries on what I'm going to do i basic. And I'm also good at determining how much satisfaction certain activities give me. If it is a stressor in my life for a long period, it leaves. I am ruthless at cutting things.
And sleep. It's really really important to me, so I make sure I get it done. :)
try2bfrugal
3-5-13, 1:11am
For me the main thing is diet - an alkaline diet (lots of produce) with lots of magnesium rich foods - potatoes, bananas, low sodium vegetable soup, beans and nuts. Magnesium is good for ADD as well. Magnesium is needed to relax muscles and turn off adrenaline.
I have pH paper, a pulse monitor and a blood pressure monitor at home. I try to keep all three types of test results in normal limits. I have noticed that when my blood pressure is high I am usually also anxious, and the same kind of diet is beneficial for both. I also avoid the news and violent TV shows and watch uplifting or how to shows. Tonight I was doing yoga and watching a Brian Tracy motivational video.
Fresh air, sunshine, meditation, yoga, exercise, walking the dog, spiky massage balls and foam rollers for tight muscles, enough sleep all help me as well, but for me the 90% factor in destressing is probably diet. And no coffee or tea when I'm edgy. It really makes me worse.
All of the above, and keeping low limits on caffeine, salt, negative/jumpy/unstable people, and the news when I feel myself getting anxious. And making time for activities that give perspective, like hanging out with friends, reading (not news or emotion-jolting things). I try to watch my carb intake usually, but when I'm anxious I find that complex carbs have a calming effect. Multigrain toast with a schmear of butter or nut butter always helps me calm down a bit.
Actively rooting out things in your life that can be eliminated, to give you some breathing room, is also important to me (like Iris Lily suggests above) Not everything is essential, though it might seem to be.
Clutter makes me very, very, very anxious as well.
ApatheticNoMore
3-5-13, 1:38am
I know that things that help are exercise, yoga, quieting activities (I don't actually mediate) but then there are times that doesn't happen.
Well no wonder it doesn't happen, your list of relaxing things is itself a to-do list! I mean it's less so if you just practice yoga in your living room and exercise is walking in your neighborhood, but if you go to the gym or something to do yoga, no wonder it doesn't happen, it's just another thing on an overflowing to-do list.
I guess what works for me is that I'm better when I'm off caffeine (it's liquid stress, it really will add to the frazzled a lot, although it ocassionally has a calming affect on those with ADD - but it just stresses me like it does most "normals". Granted it's a nice pick me up high in the short term, but in the long run it just adds to the frazzled). I take walks if I have some immediate stress to burn off (just taking a 20-30 minute walk). I eat fairly healthy (by which I just mean real foods in as natural a state as possible - additives are crazy making). I dont' overschedule (I mean honestly I'm lazy enough that I could probably use a transfusion of someone elses ambition :) - but I KNOW overscheduling makes me EXTREMELY anxious and unhappy and miserable!!! So I'm even too cautious in avoiding it at this point). I'm not trying to do everything, to keep all the balls in the air, and be perfect at everything ("you gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser ...."). It just doesn't really matter, "All I've really got to do is live and die", oh and I had no choice in the former, and not a lot of choice in the latter.
Well no wonder it doesn't happen, your list of relaxing things is itself a to-do list! I mean it's less so if you just practice yoga in your living room and exercise is walking in your neighborhood, but if you go to the gym or something to do yoga, no wonder it doesn't happen, it's just another thing on an overflowing to-do list.
I guess what works for me is that I'm better when I'm off caffeine (it's liquid stress, it really will add to the frazzled a lot, although it ocassionally has a calming affect on those with ADD - but it just stresses me like it does most "normals". Granted it's a nice pick me up high in the short term, but in the long run it just adds to the frazzled). I take walks if I have some immediate stress to burn off (just taking a 20-30 minute walk). I eat fairly healthy (by which I just mean real foods in as natural a state as possible - additives are crazy making). I dont' overschedule (I mean honestly I'm lazy enough that I could probably use a transfusion of someone elses ambition :) - but I KNOW overscheduling makes me EXTREMELY anxious and unhappy and miserable!!! So I'm even too cautious in avoiding it at this point). I'm not trying to do everything, to keep all the balls in the air, and be perfect at everything ("you gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser ...."). It just doesn't really matter, "All I've really got to do is live and die", oh and I had no choice in the former, and not a lot of choice in the latter.
Oh, golly no, I do yoga at home. I like to hike but have a very bum knee so I don't as much as I did. I sometimes ride my bike to work for exercise. And occasionally I take advantage of my ill spent gym membership to use the elliptical . I'm not much of a coffee drinker. I drink one cup of vanilla chai each morning or sometimes coffee but it's more for something warm and mildly invigorating. I'm not a "gotta have my caffeine" kind of person. I don't overshedule myself at all. Life over schedules me. Work and school and life. But scheduled 'events' including gym or such things are not one of them.
I seriously limit all media. We listen to NPR at certain times and if too stressful, turn it off. I quickly check for news on the computer but only allow a short time. I mean how many times do you have to listen to the same story with the facts changing constantly and do we care which celebrity had an accident, a bad birthday, etc.
Found we are more discriminating and our focus is better. The media is just a constantly blaring outside influence. When hubby was in school and working full time, that was the whole family's focus. It was a goal, graduation, and we even got rid of the TV.
Yes, often. It seems when i get some peace or ease in one area then something happens in another. I agree to watch out for a to-do list of fixing it all, I had to give that up. I do things I enjoy when I can but even those simple things are very difficult to do on any regular basis. So I take a walk and then i set a goal to take walks and then I get stressed again as soon as I can't take a walk. But without the goal I kinda wander
Sometimes I get mad at the world for a little while over this. Honestly it is very complicated to get through life these days, or at least I find it so. I have the fewest number of bills I can have while still having the basics and it still takes time to compare the auto insurance or file taxes. I have 2 kids who are in the young adult phase and I see them trying to learn all this, whew. So it is good we don't have regular TV, no news and no bill.
Even if you don't meditate on a regular basis you may want to do something like that until you rebalance.
treehugger
3-5-13, 12:12pm
You've gotten lots of great suggestions here. The only thing I can add is specifically about going back to school. I am doing the same thing right now. Anyway, I have only recently learned about CLEP (http://clep.collegeboard.org/)and DSST (http://www.getcollegecredit.com/)exams. See if the school/program you are in accepts them for credit. If they do, there will likely be a limit. For instance, the program I want to apply for accepts up to 30 units through these tests.
Anyway, if you can use them, they will save you a lot of time and money by taking tests for certain subjects (mostly lower division) instead of taking traditional classes. The exams are $80, plus any prep materials you choose to buy (there is lots around online for free), and take about 90 minutes (with a week or two of prep). Huge cost and time savings over semester-long classes.
Apparently a large majority of American schools do accept credits this way, but they don't advertise it, so you have to ask. Good luck!
Kara
You mention that "life schedules you." Do you feel like you don't have any control over that at all? Are you good at saying "no" ? I know if I felt I was at the whim of everything that came into my life, and if I were convinced that I had little choice in the matter, I'd be anxious all the time. When I was working on my degree while working full time, the only thing that saved me was practicing - strongly - controlling my work/school/life load to eliminate anxiety.
Calming herbs help me quite a lot too. Chinese scullcap and chamomile are my favorites, especially since I can grow them.
Right now, I am quite the wreck.
Funnily enough, I don't even have a hectic schedule. Perhaps that's the problem--too much time on my hands to worry and fret about every little thing. That, and a tendency towards obsessive/compulsive behavior (runs in the family).
I have been trying to meditate but it's very very hard. I read in a book that the mind's wandering is NORMAL for meditation. However, this in itself causes me stress (that I'm not doing it "right"). My hobbies help me to a certain extent, but I have a hard time getting myself motivated to actually DO them.
I watch my diet very very carefully, and try to get 8 hours of sleep per night. Still I feel like I am falling apart, and I am very depressed at the moment.
Just wanted to add my opinion about CLEP. I never took a CLEP exam, but while I was in college I applied for CLEP. One class, IIRC, was a typing and/or shorthand class, and since I was a working secretary, I submitted my resume and my boss wrote a letter on my behalf.
The second one was newswriting. I was a reporter at the time, so I submitted some stories with my byline, talked to the instructor for a while, and got my credit.
You've gotten lots of great suggestions here. The only thing I can add is specifically about going back to school. I am doing the same thing right now. Anyway, I have only recently learned about CLEP (http://clep.collegeboard.org/)and DSST (http://www.getcollegecredit.com/)exams. See if the school/program you are in accepts them for credit. If they do, there will likely be a limit. For instance, the program I want to apply for accepts up to 30 units through these tests.
Anyway, if you can use them, they will save you a lot of time and money by taking tests for certain subjects (mostly lower division) instead of taking traditional classes. The exams are $80, plus any prep materials you choose to buy (there is lots around online for free), and take about 90 minutes (with a week or two of prep). Huge cost and time savings over semester-long classes.
Apparently a large majority of American schools do accept credits this way, but they don't advertise it, so you have to ask. Good luck!
Kara
Gardenarian
3-5-13, 3:30pm
My dog helps keep my sane. Cuddling, going for long walks, greeting me joyfully when I get home, so much love!
Sounds like you are on the right track. I only have one suggestion and that is to sit in meditation with a group to help with the feeling like you are doing it wrong. I really like some of the Dharma Punx, Against the Stream groups that are growing. They are a pretty relaxed bunch of people overall,
We have group meditation on campus, but it meets at a time when I can't go. The trouble with my shift is that most activities (on and off campus) are planned for people working a traditional 9 to 5 job. I guess nurses etc. run into this kind of issue all the time. :(
Gardenarian
3-5-13, 6:29pm
Tiam - I never listen to the news, it's depressing and anxiety provoking by design. That's something you can take control of right away.
Also, do you use caffeine?
awakenedsoul
3-5-13, 6:56pm
Taking a nap always relaxes an rejuvenates me. It sounds like your schedule is too full. Do you have time to do things that ground you? For me, that's making and enjoying a delicious meal, baking, knitting, darning socks, reading, hiking, etc...
I also have canceled my t.v. and I don't really miss it. Do you have enough money? (If not, that can cause anxiety.) I also avoid technology. It really jangles my nerves...Oh, and toxic people. There are a lot of those out there now...
Tiam, I can identify. I remember talking with an acquaintence years ago who said she'd had what her doctor called a "nervous breakdown" around her 40th birthday. She was okay when I met her, but I found myself fascinated by the logistics of it - who pays the bills, who waters the garden, who maintains the car, did she lose her job, who filed her taxes, who cancelled her dentist appt, how did she manage to feed herself, etc etc.
It seems almost tempting to let someone else take the wheel, metaphorically speaking, and just have a deep long rest.
Anyway my only suggestion to add to those above is when was the last time you had a decently long vacation? or can you schedule one soon? I think looking forward to doing a whole lot of nothing might be calming.
When I get overwhelmed with everything, I try to focus only on what I have to do right now. For example, if the house is a wreck, I focus on one thing I can do. I tell myself, All you have to do is wash the dishes or All you have to do is scrub the bathroom. Just one thing at a time.
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