View Full Version : When I die..............
I refuse to be embalmed and put into a casket, then into a concrete vault, where nothing biodegradable can enter. My perfect wish would be to be buried without any covering into the ground and left for the bugs and insects that would decompose me, and hopefully feed a tree overhead. But alas, that's illegal. I don't really want to be cremated either. I've told my DH to just dump my body in the field, and enjoy watching the wildlife..........especially the turkey vultures use me up. (but then he would be arrested).
In my recent clean-out, I found a 1982 "Mother Earth News" that had an interview in it with Pete Seeger. He wrote that he has a friend who wrote songs, sometimes with Woodie Guthrie. His friend's name was Lee Hays. One of Lee's last songs was written to Seeger's wife, who loved to garden as much as he did.
Here are the words: I thought they would give you a smile.
If I should die before I wake,
All my bone and sinew take,
Put me in the compost pile
To decompose me for a while.
Worms, water, sun will have their way,
Returning me to common clay.
All that I am will feed the trees
And little fishes in the seas.
When radishes and corn you munch,
You may be having me for lunch
And then excrete me with a grin,
Chortling, "There goes Lee again!".
Simplemind
3-11-13, 1:44pm
I don't know where you live but it isn't illegal in a lot of places. Green burials are gaining in popularity.
I already have my funeral planned.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYSNxrtq5QY
I kind of like the way things are going in the burial business: http://www.passagesinternational.com/eco-friendly-caskets/bamboo-casket
You might check with your state and local laws to see if you couldn't choose a good place on your property to be interred in this way, and then plant some spectacular tree above you. That's what I'd want for myself.
Recently I had read about being inoculated with a certain type of mushroom, that turns you into compost. That would be okay too. :)
Gardenarian
3-11-13, 3:39pm
My husband and I are both opting for green burial. Luckily there is such a burial ground not too far away, and I have been advocating for one in out town.
Well, I think you can still be buried in a plain pine box, and that would eventually rot and leak and 'go away' so to speak.
Cremation and scattering of the ashes in our woodlot for me. Clean, simple and easy.
Pete/ Woody, two of my favs. Yet sinew, I had to look that word up.
Anyhow I would be surprised if many here thought the entire embalming/casket event is what they would want, being on a simple living board. We should all leave as we wish. Make sure we all plan this or let our loved ones know our wishes.
Wildflower
3-11-13, 11:50pm
Cremation for me. And then my family may do what they want with my ashes. I would like my ashes scattered here in my flower garden though, if we are still living here by then.
Cremation is my option - mainly because of expense and a space thing. A simple pine box is also appealing.
The old fashion kind.
I know a family locally that it has always been their family tradition to build a casket for their family members.
I hate to see families spend so much on funeral expenses.
Maxamillion
3-12-13, 2:23am
I plan to be cremated too and have my ashes scattered in the woods.
goldensmom
3-12-13, 6:45am
Well, I think you can still be buried in a plain pine box, and that would eventually rot and leak and 'go away' so to speak.
The Amish in this area are not embalmed and buried in a plain wood box.
Of all the things I have to think about and plan for, I leave that decision to my husband. It really doesn't matter to me what happens to my body after my demise so whatever he decides will be fine with me. I did plan that if I survive my husband then my personal representative will decide. In the end, the decision is really up to others who can do as we wish or as they wish.
I'll have to check up on the laws. I thought it was illegal to be buried "whole" without cremation.
Cremation here, too. Mainly because I saw how simple it was for everyone when my Dad died. He had it all taken care of in advance. Within an hour or so of his death the guys from the crematorium came to pick up his body and it was over. That was a real blessing for my Mom. As for what happens then, I really couldn't care less if DW tells them to just send the ashes out with the trash. If she goes first I've promised to spread her ashes on the ocean...in Tahiti. ;)
I do like the idea of the funeral pyre. I also like the way Ed Abbey went. His friends put him in his favorite sleeping bag, packed it in ice in a pickup truck bed and spirited his remains off to a secret burial location in the desert.
To be honest, as illogical as it seems, I'd like to be put to rest in my family plot near my parents and other relatives and a traditional burial is fine with me. Of all the alternatives, from an environmental standpoint in the big scheme of things, it probably doesn't matter one way or another.
My brother, a hobby geneaologist, is always after family members to be sure and specify to have remains near other family members. Drives him nuts to look all over the place for "lost" family members.
I would like to be wrapped in a cotton sheet or cloth and placed in the ground in a tiny high mountain cemetery. Family would have to work to get there to pay their respects but they would enjoy the scenery en route and I would finally be where I want to be.
frugal-one
3-12-13, 5:48pm
I always joke that I want to die on my way BACK from a vacation. It saddens me to think a loved one would find me. I want to be cremated and as little fuss as possible. I request the money saved from having a lavish funeral be spent on the two people who mean the most to me. I request they go on a fantastic trip of their dreams in memory of me!
Interesting that this thread is in Gardening and Farming LOL.
I put it in this area because my point was the poem about being put into the compost. :) I thought the poem was funny and thought I'd share it.
Then everyone started talking about how they would like to be buried.
dado potato
3-13-13, 12:17am
DW and I both belong to a cremation society. At the time of need, a nonprofit organization fires up the jets for cremation and ships the ashes.
The Storyteller
3-14-13, 10:59am
I have long believed that burials and funerals were for the living (and grieving) rather than the dead. I think it is important for them to have a place to go to memorialize the person they loved. I'm also with the genealogist brother mentioned earlier and believe connection to place and family are very important.
As I have been of declining health of late, mortality has been very much on my mind. This is what I want.
I want a simple service, but am struggling on what that is. I have recently converted (more like evolved) to atheism and don't believe in an afterlife, so a preacher talking about heaven doesn't seem appropriate, even though my family would likely prefer it. I'm planning on posting in the spirituality section to see what folks think there.
I want to be cremated, with a coffee can for an urn. I want to be buried at Mountain Station cemetery (http://www.blogoklahoma.us/place.asp?id=826) in the family plot in Pitsburgh county, OK, at the foot of my father's grave and near my grandparents, and next to my wife when she passes some day long in the future. Mountain Station is a free cemetery, with no rules, and zero cost. When more people want to be buried in the plot, we just expand it a bit. It is also quite beautiful and of some historical significance, as it was once a stage stop for the Butterfield Overland Stage.
And I want my family to use my veteran's right to a headstone.
Cheap and simple.
I do like the idea of the funeral pyre. I also like the way Ed Abbey went. His friends put him in his favorite sleeping bag, packed it in ice in a pickup truck bed and spirited his remains off to a secret burial location in the desert.
I'm a big fan of EA. My youngest daughter is named Abbey, inspired by Cactus Ed.
I put it in this area because my point was the poem about being put into the compost. :) I thought the poem was funny and thought I'd share it. Then everyone started talking about how they would like to be buried.
Over the years the only sure thing on these boards has been that you never know what path a thread will take!
catherine
3-14-13, 12:39pm
I put it in this area because my point was the poem about being put into the compost. :) I thought the poem was funny and thought I'd share it.
Then everyone started talking about how they would like to be buried.
I had a biology teacher who was really into environmental stuff but was not the most pleasant guy. We used to say that he probably threw his grandmother on his compost pile when she died.
It's funny how traditions are. I have NEVER gone to visit a dead relative at a cemetery, even my father, and that's not out of lack of respect. I simply don't see them as "there."
But OTOH, my MIL was totally into it. Her husband died young and when he did, she bought a plot for 4 (him, her, her parents) with the most absolutely beautiful view at Kensico Cemetery in Valhalla, NY. Look it up--there are tons of famous dead people there. She would go and prune and clip bushes and bring plants and make weekend trips of it.
Now all those plots are filled (it must be frustrating to be 6 ft under and not be able to take advantage of the view!). DH feels obligated to get there when he can, especially on holidays, even though we're over an hour drive away. I keep telling him NOT to feel guilty! If he wants to go, fine, but I think he feels his mother on his shoulder. I told him there's no way I'm laying that trip on my own kids. I don't care what they do with me. My preference is for them to harvest any good organs they can and then cremate me and throw the ashes behind my house where there's a creek and where I've walked dogs every day for almost 20 years.
I've always wondered if MIL felt the way she does because she was Taurus (earth sign) whereas I want to be cremated, and ironically, I'm Aries (fire sign). Just a thought.
Cremation here, too. Mainly because I saw how simple it was for everyone when my Dad died. He had it all taken care of in advance. Within an hour or so of his death the guys from the crematorium came to pick up his body and it was over. That was a real blessing for my Mom. As for what happens then, I really couldn't care less if DW tells them to just send the ashes out with the trash. If she goes first I've promised to spread her ashes on the ocean...in Tahiti. ;)
If I was cremated I always liked the idea of the ashes being placed in fireworks - like the ones cities use on the 4th :-) But the ocean would work, too. But it's really not important to me.
Taking care of it all in advance sounds like a great idea - while I will care less at the time, knowing family won't have to worry about it would be one less worry for me beforehand. I'll be looking into it.
When we go to Colorado, I do take the time to visit my parents and brother's graves. Even though he was cremated and ashes scattered, a small amount were also interred at his gravesite. It is always a bit painful, but I am glad I have that place to go. On a related topic, I just picked up at the library Willie Nelson's book, Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die. I do like the concept of returning to the earth so that in some form our energy is used again.
iris lily
3-14-13, 11:35pm
When my dad died, at a gut level I wanted a "place" for him to be. That doesn't mean that his whole body had to be there--ashes could have been scattered there.
In the end, my mother went whole hog with the traditional embalming/tomb, burial/expensive casket/expensive headstone. This is odd because over the years that's really not what they had talked about. >8) While he would have liked the idea of a pine box and minimalist everything, more so he knew that the funeral stuff was for the living and he would not have cared that she blew a few thousand on crap that doesn't matter.
If I was cremated I always liked the idea of the ashes being placed in fireworks - like the ones cities use on the 4th :-)
An old neighbor of ours had his ashes shot out of a really big cannon. He was pretty well known so the 'funeral' drew quite a crowd, including the press. I'll say this, it was a hell of a party.
An old neighbor of ours had his ashes shot out of a really big cannon. He was pretty well known so the 'funeral' drew quite a crowd, including the press. I'll say this, it was a hell of a party.
I think it's a fun idea to really pay homage to the person that died by defying tradition. My DH has always been a gregarious partier. He has at least 5 "party pieces" that he insists on performing whenever he has an audience of at least 2. He's like Bill Clinton the way he works a crowd. When the time comes, if he predeceases me, I fully intend to P-A-R-T-A-Y--which would include wheeling his body in about 45 minutes late--which would also be very much in tune with the "living him"
GEEZ, rereading that, I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression that I would be in a party mood BECAUSE he was gone--just in the sense that I think he would want a party.. solemnity is just NOT what defines him.
I actually have some pretty specific instructions written down for the party DW is to throw if I go first. She once commented that it is going to be a whole lot of fun, she's just sorry I won't be there. I'm now considering holding my wake this summer so I don't have to miss it.
I'm now considering holding my wake this summer so I don't have to miss it.
Great idea! Is there such a thing as a "pre-anniversary"?
Great idea! Is there such a thing as a "pre-anniversary"?
The way I see it, if you're the one throwing the party it can be for anything you want it to be.
As for the place idea, when a friend of ours died in a climbing accident, her family scattered her ashes on a nearby (to where she lived, not where she died) mountain. It's a pretty specific place that I have photos of, and I do think of her being linked to that place, which is a place she loved. My grandmother's gravestone is in Vermont, which I've been to once. So I don't have much of a place association with that, despite that there is a physical stone there. So I think it just depends on the person.
As for me, I have a hierarchy: organ donation if appropriate, science/medical use if possible, compost or cremation if neither of those are viable. If cremation is chosen, I would want my ashes scattered in the mountains near where I live. If I happen to fall in a crevasse or off a mountain where it's not too safe to rescue my body, well, I'd be fine if it stayed there.
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