Are your affairs in order? [Archive]

View Full Version : Are your affairs in order?

awakenedsoul

3-13-13, 9:52pm

As I wrote in a recent post, my 49 year old brother had a massive stroke and passed away. It was very sudden. He didn't have health insurance or a will/power of attorney. I went on Dave Ramsey's website and ordered a will and power of attorney forms through USlegalforms.com. It was $39.95. I had been putting that off and this pushed me to stop procrastinating. It's not nearly as expensive as I thought it would be.
Are you an organ donor? The hospital was able to harvest my brother's organs as soon as he was 100% brain dead. He was very fit, so hopefully they will find matches and he will live on through the recipients. I have filled out forms with Research For Life to donate my body to medical research when I die. They pay for the cremation and funeral.
I also went to my credit union and filled out transfer on death forms. There was no charge to make my parents my beneficiaries. You just need their name, social security numbers, and birthdays. That way, if something happens to you, the money in your bank accounts will be available to them.
My dad said that you never think that this will happen to you. It was a real shock. He said that the hospital said this is more common now with so many single people. My brother laid in his vomit for 30 hours before someone checked on him. No one had a spare key, so they had to break down the door. It's a good idea to have a check in person if you live alone, and to give someone you trust a key to your house. I think in his case, it was just his time. But, it's good to be prepared and insured. Had he survived, the bills would have been astronomical. It put so much pressure on my parents...

iris lily

3-13-13, 9:56pm

No. We are terrible people. Can you imagine how complex our affairs would be without a will (which we do not have?) We have no kids. What a mess we are leaving for someone else. Slap me.

Simplemind

3-13-13, 10:15pm

After going through the process of setting up a family trust with my parents we piggy backed on that and did our POA's and Wills. This past November when my husband had his stroke I realized that we needed even more layers of planning/information. We have a binder set up with all information on accounts for both of us and insurance and benefits that each of us is entitled to. It also contains all internet/e-mail accounts and passwords. It is really important to have this as well as going over it (together) yearly to make sure everything is up to date.

redfox

3-13-13, 10:55pm

I started this before my biopsy last week, and will hopefully get it all done before surgery in 2-3 weeks. Thanks for the reminder...

awakenedsoul

3-13-13, 11:20pm

I started this before my biopsy last week, and will hopefully get it all done before surgery in 2-3 weeks. Thanks for the reminder...

Good for you, redfox! I was surprised at how quickly I was able to write everything down. The form at the credit union was simple and I filled it out in five mins. I hope all goes well with your surgery...

awakenedsoul

3-13-13, 11:22pm

No. We are terrible people. Can you imagine how complex our affairs would be without a will (which we do not have?) We have no kids. What a mess we are leaving for someone else. Slap me.

Yeah, I know. I put it off, too. I'd think about it and then move on to something else. The financial experts all stress doing it. As one of the above posts said, the passwords are important. Also, think of the costs of probate. It's time consuming, too. (the court proccess.)

ApatheticNoMore

3-13-13, 11:25pm

The bitter truth is noone who could get the money would get out of it what I could if I only could have spent it while alive instead of working jobs I hate to just accumulate more and more of it. Mom? Yea fine, she's beneficiary on most things. But she has no need for it! She's got plenty, probably set for what remains of her life already. Those who will just spend it on addictions? Not a chance, it would just seal their coffin. Homeless cats?

awakenedsoul

3-13-13, 11:34pm

I'm going to leave some to scholarship funds, grants for dancers, and other organizations. I also am going to leave some money to close friends who don't have much.

Wildflower

3-14-13, 3:59am

No. We are terrible people. Can you imagine how complex our affairs would be without a will (which we do not have?) We have no kids. What a mess we are leaving for someone else. Slap me.

Don't you want to leave it to someone or something important to you, like your dog rescue group or something like that? Having a will makes sure your hard earned money goes where you would want it to go. Without a will....who knows. I want my time on earth/money made, to count for something. Had a legal will drawn up a long while back, leaving most to our kids/grandkids, and some charities that are important to me and DH, including our local animal rescue group.

bae

3-14-13, 4:08am

I started this before my biopsy last week, and will hopefully get it all done before surgery in 2-3 weeks.

Yipes. Best wishes!

Fawn

3-14-13, 8:55am

I started this before my biopsy last week, and will hopefully get it all done before surgery in 2-3 weeks. Thanks for the reminder...

You had mentioned your upcoming surgery recently. This is quite a bit more information.

Sending you ((((hugs)))) and healing energy.

Fawn

3-14-13, 8:59am

Iris Lily--Me! Me! (jumping up and down) Leave it to me!

Yes, my affairs are in order. And copies of everything are at my mom's two hours away. I am about to start legal proceedings against my ex, and he is a wild card.....

redfox

3-14-13, 9:59am

pinkytoe

3-14-13, 11:28am

This is one of those nagging things DH and I have intended to do for years now. The conflict is that I can't confirm with anyone or any website which online forms are valid in the state of Texas. I really want to get this done by the end of the month. I called several lawyers and their rates are ridiculous for even our simple situation. So...I have found a few Texas lawyer websites that do online only for a reasonable price - guess we'll go with that. The other day there was a guest on public radio talking about this and her website is called www.get your sh--together.org. (Yes, the bad word which I imagine I can't print here) It does have a good list but the will info once again was specific to her state.

Float On

3-14-13, 12:04pm

http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=174014442&m=174080000

On NPR morning edition on the 12th - great article about estate planning.

We've had wills in place for years because we both traveled together so much and have had a few friends die together in car accidents while on their way to or from art shows. I'd like to add one of my parents to our checking/saving accounts. They are already listed as #3 on life insurance for each of us. We'll probably be changing that to the boys when they are 18. Mom and I always update each other when the file is updated and where it's stored at each of our homes. I wish they'd go ahead and add someone onto their accounts or change them into trusts.

awakenedsoul

3-14-13, 1:25pm

This is one of those nagging things DH and I have intended to do for years now. The conflict is that I can't confirm with anyone or any website which online forms are valid in the state of Texas. I really want to get this done by the end of the month. I called several lawyers and their rates are ridiculous for even our simple situation. So...I have found a few Texas lawyer websites that do online only for a reasonable price - guess we'll go with that. The other day there was a guest on public radio talking about this and her website is called www.get (http://www.get) your sh--together.org. (Yes, the bad word which I imagine I can't print here) It does have a good list but the will info once again was specific to her state.

Have you tried uslegalforms.com on Dave Ramsey's website? I was pleased at how reasonable the price was. I think it was actually $29.95. I paid more to order hard copies. I am going to look into hiring a medical attorney for the other stuff. I don't want any tubes or life support.

freein05

3-14-13, 2:34pm

Yes and we see our attorney every two years to have all of our documents updated.

Dhiana

3-16-13, 8:43pm

We were able to do all the forms such as Wills, Durable POAs, Medical POAs, etc through base before he went away on his first deployment. Thankfully we have continued to lead a simple life without too many changes other than our various locations.

If this was not option for us I would have done it through NOLO: http://www.nolo.com
You can search your needs by state on their website.

fidgiegirl

3-16-13, 10:05pm

awakenedsoul

3-16-13, 10:53pm

We also need to do this. I also would like DH's mom and dad to revise their will to name a lawyer as executor. Sibs are having issues right now and DFiL and DMiL are getting up there. I wouldn't want any of the sibs, including DH, to be executor and cause more problems.

My parents? Who knows?! Eek.

Anyone know a good checklist? I'm a checklist person. Trent on The Simple Dollar used to have one, if I remember right. If I find any good links I'll share.

OP, so sorry about your brother. :(

Thanks fidgiegirl. I'm going to ask my parents to consider naming a lawyer as the trustee, too. My brother is in charge now, and it's really gone to his head. It worries me, because he is underwater on his mortgage. Fortunately, after my dad saw my brother who passed's financial situation, he has made some changes. He was planning to transfer some property to us for tax purposes, but now he is going to keep it. He may need the money for assisted living for he or my mother. I had been dropping hints for years, but he just ignored my brothers' spending. I think he realized that if either of my other brothers died today, they would be bankrupt. They bought houses at the height of the market. (One bought two homes and a condo...in Florida.)

fidgiegirl

3-16-13, 11:13pm

Here's the link I was thinking about. Not a will, really, but related.

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/03/making-and-maintaining-a-master-information-document/

And a more general, broad post:

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/06/personal-finance-101-the-basics-of-estate-planning/

iris lily

3-17-13, 12:14am

Iris Lily--Me! Me! (jumping up and down) Leave it to me!

haha, ok, you are the designated slapper!

fidgiegirl

3-17-13, 10:32pm

Here's another helpful link:

http://www.agis.com/SqlFileResource.axd?id=37&resource=pdf

I hate to give copies to my parents of anything we draw up. I'd be ok giving it to my sister, but my mom is really nosy - she doesn't need to know how much $$ we have or make.

HumboldtGurl

3-19-13, 1:43pm

awakened, I'm really, really sorry to hear about your brother. I just now saw your post.

DH and I got our affairs in order about 10 years ago with a living trust, will & advanced medical directive. We used the NOLO guide which is fantastic. The only hassle has been when we sold our house we had to change it again, but sine it was a DIY trust it was an easy change, albeit annoying. Also, since we don't have kids, this is easy for us to handle.

awakenedsoul

3-19-13, 2:08pm

Thanks HumboltGurl. I really like Nolo. I've gotten some of their books at the library. It's a good feeling to be prepared.

frugalone

3-19-13, 2:53pm

+1

awakenedsoul, I am so sorry about your brother.

No. We are terrible people. Can you imagine how complex our affairs would be without a will (which we do not have?) We have no kids. What a mess we are leaving for someone else. Slap me.

RosieTR

3-20-13, 10:41pm

After the whole Terri Shaivo nightmare, DH and I got a will, POA, etc together. This was years ago so we should update (who gets the house in Phx? Ha ha). I'm always surprised at people who don't have one, esp if they have little kids. Doubly especially if they have a close relative that they *don't* want getting the kids. But even if that's not your case, why not figure out who/what you'd want to have your money? We set up some favorite charities as well as relatives. Rather that than a bunch of $$ to lawyers and the state.