Overwhelmed With Other Peoples Stuff!!!

[decemberlov]

Yesterday my Aunt called saying she would be dropping of a few things for the girls from their grandmothers house. My daughter's grandmom passed away in December and the family has been cleaning her house out the past few weeks.

She dropped off 7 large boxes of stuff that I have no idea what to do with!! My anxiety immediately went through the roof! There's candles and nick Knacks and just lots of random stuff I have no idea what to do with.

I know it's important for the girls to have a few sentimental things to remember their grandmom by but this is just too much!! She use to make jewelry and all I asked for was a few jewelry making supplies so each of the girls could make a bracelet or necklace to keep and remember her by.

I just don't know what to do with the rest of this stuff without hurting anyone's feeling or getting anyone mad :(

[nswef]

I would send it all to Good Will. If you can tell in one box where a small jewelry item is, maybe take those. Do not worry about hurting feelings...they gave it to you and probably didn't know what to do with it either. Good luck. Stuff is HARD to deal with.

[MamaM]

I agree, send it on. If it is causing you stress vice happy feelings, move it out. It is hard. (((HUGS)))

[awakenedsoul]

I would donate it to a charity, too. I don't have much clutter, and for some reason, people always try to give me their stuff. I really don't want it, most of the time. It's nice to have a clear space.

[decemberlov]

I was thinking goodwill also. I guess I kept thinking that someone would say "oh remember that such and such of grandmoms we gave you? Where is it?" lol You're right nswef they most likely had no clue what to do with it either and most likely I will never be confronted about it.

[decemberlov]

I would donate it to a charity, too. I don't have much clutter, and for some reason, people always try to give me their stuff. I really don't want it, most of the time. It's nice to have a clear space.

haha me too!! What is it with people always trying to give us things. Maybe it's because they think we must be lonely with the very little things that we own :~)

[Float On]

I would let the girls each pick a few items (maybe limit to 3, but you don't have to take that many if you don't want that many) and then donate the rest.

[CaseyMiller]

I recently went thru something similar but with much more stuff. What I did was I told all the immediate family that I will going thru the boxes on a certain date. If they chose not to participate, I would use my best judgement as to what would be donated, kept or thrown away. I had a room setup with tables, boxes, shredders, trash cans etc.. The family came and we went thru it.

It is hard though. Many of the items brought back memories making them hard to donate or throw away. Even so, keeping the items would mean putting them in a box to probably never be looked at again. We went thru most of it and still ended up keeping boxes of stuff I will probably never look into again.

A difficult task. Good luck.

[frugalone]

I have a family member who does this every now and again. It's my mother.
I sometimes question if there's something weird going on with her. Because recently, she gave me a bunch of photographs (I am the keeper of the family albums). Amongst them was a frame I made for her when I graduated from college, that said "World's Best Mom." It had a picture of me in my cap and gown with her at the ceremony.

It really kind of hurt that she gave this back to me. It had been a birthday present the year I graduated. I mean, WTF am I supposed to think?

[Fawn]

frugalone--my mom will hand right back to you any gift that she receives that she doesn't want. Yes, it's rude. But at 81 years of age, she is not likely to change. So, some of us deal with it by not giving her stuff, and some of us deal with it by giving her stuff that we would like to have if she doesn't want it. I recognize that I am not the flawed one in this circumstance. You can do this too. You gave your mom a beautiful, meaningful gift. She doesn't want it. Maybe she realizes that she is not "The World's Best Mom" and this reminds her of that. Anyway, you did nothing wrong here. Let it go.

[boss mare]

I married into a family that had it hammered into them that "everything must be kept" point of view.... I do not have that point of view ... We met in 2001 married 2002 and I have made it quite clear that having clutter is not good for the body or mind... Giving us stuff from "family" will result in eather going straight to Goodwill or if it is gold or silver will be converted into $$$$ with the metal scrap man that comes to the dental office that I work at and go to my horse showing fund.... I highly suggest finding a way to fit the subject of clutter into a conversation without being too pushy and talk about Flylady... www.flylady.net There is not one thing in there that anyone can object to... I don't push it or cram it down their throat but I make it clear that this is my way of life... My DSD will figure this out soon I am sure in the next year or so LOL !Splat!

[razz]

I have a family member who does this every now and again. It's my mother.
I sometimes question if there's something weird going on with her. Because recently, she gave me a bunch of photographs (I am the keeper of the family albums). Amongst them was a frame I made for her when I graduated from college, that said "World's Best Mom." It had a picture of me in my cap and gown with her at the ceremony.

It really kind of hurt that she gave this back to me. It had been a birthday present the year I graduated. I mean, WTF am I supposed to think?

In this situation, I have complete sympathy for your mother. She had a choice of simply discarding or thoughtfully giving it back to you and chose what she saw as the more respectful and loving option. FIW, that is exactly what I would do in the same circumstances. She cannot keep everything and decluttering is essential.

[Florence]

It would be simpler if they would take the boxes directly to Goodwill rather than unloading them at your house only for you to load them back up to take them.

[fidgiegirl]

I agree, I think you ended up with them kind of how the person who doesn't attend the PTA meeting ends up being the president. Does that make sense? Now they don't have to be the ones who gave them away, they did something "acceptable" by giving them to you. Pass them along!

Sounds like maybe this isn't your family, but your daughters' family? Just trying to suss out if another solution might be for you to go to this family home and for them to be able to choose what they want rather than opening it up for a free-for-all dumpfest on your household, all in the name of "the girls." That way they have seen what the girls want, the girls already have it, case closed and you are out of the loop. Sorry if too nosey, BTW. :)

[peggy]

I have a family member who does this every now and again. It's my mother.
I sometimes question if there's something weird going on with her. Because recently, she gave me a bunch of photographs (I am the keeper of the family albums). Amongst them was a frame I made for her when I graduated from college, that said "World's Best Mom." It had a picture of me in my cap and gown with her at the ceremony.

It really kind of hurt that she gave this back to me. It had been a birthday present the year I graduated. I mean, WTF am I supposed to think?

Could it be that your mom didn't know the picture was in there? She might have just glanced in the box, saw it was pictures and passed it along. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.