View Full Version : what support do you give yourself for depression
I have depression/bipolar II and basically have had these issues for as long as I can recall. I recall a few stretches of time when it wasn't hour by hour to get through the day but many times it truly is a day to day struggle. I was thinking about all the things that people do that make them happy or at least get them totally involved in the moment (which is such a huge way to deal). Many of these things I don't consistently do, well I start and then life gets super busy and then I stop again and restart, ya know. So I am making a list of things that are not just pleasing for a moment like maybe watching TV, but are real supports for those of us who struggle. Please share your list,
* Gardening, the actual digging and weeding and working in soil
* taking a walk, watch out for setting huge goals and instead just walk, it seems to hit the re-set button in my brain.
* eating really healthy, lots of colors of vegetables, and avoiding too much fat and sugar
What I also want to go is get a dog. I really miss mine but I have to go through the landlord. Especially since my kids are doing their own thing more and we have no little kids to cuddle. I saw a husky on the adoption site, sigh.
Maxamillion
3-17-13, 5:07am
I have depression too (dysthymia and major), along with OCD, social anxiety, and ptsd. I don't know what I would do without my pet cat. She's the only reason I'm still alive. You may be able to get a doctor's note to have a pet; that's what I did, and the landlord didn't charge a pet deposit because of the note.
Things I've found that help:
*getting out around nature. Even just sitting outside bird-watching or walking around a garden nursery.
*Reiki (the depression has gotten better since I started getting treatments)
*building a support system (not the easiest thing to do, either, when you tend to isolate the way I do). I sometimes go to the Unitarian church (and they have social activities too), a Reiki group, and PFLAG group.
*and of course, having a pet.
A dog can be a good idea IF IF IF you have the time to devote to properly care for its needs. And a big dog can add some big needs.
A small dog can be trained to use paper or alternative inside in case you are stuck at home. It does not require extensive exercise daily and a big dog cannot just be left in the yard to run around while you are gone. Barking dogs are a common problem in neighborhoods for those who are home or have kids sleeping. Do you have the extra funds for food, vet care, etc right now?
Does anyone have a dog you can borrow?
Frugal Mama
3-17-13, 10:13am
I meet a friend Monday through Friday and we walk and talk for an hour. Rain or shine! Outdoors weather permitting ~ our preference. Otherwise we meet at the mall and walk. Best therapy ever for me!
I do understand about the dog, costs and all. I had a largish dog for 13 years. Best thing we ever did was kennel train her, I don't care for constant barking dogs. My schedule is very early to later afternoon but I flex in the middle and it is possible to work from home when I do not have meetings. That means I can work in a mid-day walk most days if I can afford the time to run home.
The human support system just isn't happening ya know. It was something I have really wanted but I haven't made happen and I am kinda tired. When I do get together with someone then it is great,
frugalone
3-17-13, 11:36am
I try to listen to music, or work in my art journal when I'm feeling down. Trouble is, I usually have to push myself to go pick up the pen, the paintbrush, whatever art supplies I'm using!
I, too, have found the "human support system" to be less than ideal. I think there's only so much others can say or do to help us.
I'm reminded of a former co worker who once said, "You know how you read these magazine articles where people say they're so depressed they don't want to get out of bed in the morning? Well, I don't get it. I've never felt that way. I can't imagine not wanting to get up."
All I could think was, "Lucky, lucky you."
I think borrowing a dog is a good idea. Dogs need their pack, and shouldn't be left alone for hours on a regular basis, IMO. Not to mention the costs involved.
Along with the "plenty of fresh air and sunshine" thing, make sure you're eating the most nutrient-dense diet possible. Today would be an excellent one to tuck into a nice fatty brisket with bone broth. Read Nourishing Traditions, Mark Sisson's blog Mark's Daily Apple, and Julia Ross's work. The last thing you should be eating when you're emotionally labile is a starch (read plant) based diet that will strip you of B-vitamins and send your blood sugar on a roller coaster ride. Just ask Dan White. You're not going to save the planet--or a single animal--by malnourishing yourself.
When I think "support system" I think of people whose company I enjoy and who make me laugh, not people with whom to share the misery. It's unlikely someone can talk you out of depression, in my experience.
Dick Cavett once explained depression thus: “When you've got it, if there were a magic wand across the room on the table that would make you happy and give you everything you want, it would be too much trouble to cross the room and pick it up.” That sums it up nicely.
Looking at beauty is always uplifting. I have literally thousands of pictures I run on a computer slide show and just let wash over me. I can get just excited by an old bronze artifact as by a sunset. There's so much beauty in this world.
Thanks for sharing that quote by Dick Cavett. I love it!
ApatheticNoMore
3-17-13, 2:48pm
Cats are easier I suppose, not that that is going to convince any "dog people" ;)
I think borrowing a dog is a good idea. Dogs need their pack, and shouldn't be left
alone for hours on a regular basis, IMO. Not to mention the costs involved.
Along with the "plenty of fresh air and sunshine" thing, make sure you're eating the most nutrient-dense diet possible. Today would be an excellent one to tuck into a nice fatty brisket with bone broth.
Yea avoiding too much fat of course rung the wrong bells for me, I have no idea how much is being counted as "too much", but *low* fat diets are linked to depression compared to higher fat ones. Even if I gained a few pounds from a higher fat diet (by no means guaranteed but possible if one goes whole hog and starts just pouring cream on everything and thus massively increased their calorie count), better mental health versus cellulite free ... well duh! One doesn't need to pour cream on everything of course, but I don't try to eat "low fat" either, not since I see fat as mood supporting (I do avoid transfat and omega-6 oils). Starch, well people have more or less tolerance of it, so that something like potatoes may or may not agree with you, even depending on how they are prepared.
I don't think depression is entirely about diet or anything, that's just trying to have enough physical support that I'm less prone to it and have less bouts of depression, but where actual bouts of depression come from I can't say. I was depressed all of January and most of Febuary (for good reasons some of it, like it was all some bad premonition of things to come, which did :'-( ). There were days I only got through by accepting that life basically sucked, it was the only stance that made sense, or even allowed me to get through the day. But come spring and I start cheering up a bit whether I should or not. The weather? The dose of antibiotics I've been taking recently (not for depression, for a diagnosed physical infection, but I sometimes think infections may be involved with depression, they seem to coincide for me)?
When I think "support system" I think of people whose company I enjoy and who make me laugh, not people with whom to share the misery. It's unlikely someone can talk you out of depression, in my experience.
Sometimes just having people you can talk to about what is actually going on helps. Not the talking you out of depression so much as the hearing you out and just being there. That's where a support group *might* help. Of course forming relationships is hard. I don't for instance know anyone who would have time to walk with me an hour a day, no matter what we talked about, in fact I myself don't have time to walk an hour a day when it's light out! (unless it was during lunch break and near work, which is an aweful ugly place to walk) Too busy, just work, just their primary relationship and kids if they have these, all these things drain the amount of time for friendship, it takes a lot of dedication.
I'm reminded of a former co worker who once said, "You know how you read these magazine articles where people say they're so depressed they don't want to get out of bed in the morning? Well, I don't get it. I've never felt that way. I can't imagine not wanting to get up."
I think having this expectation that everyone is just thrilled to jump out of bed is itself entirely unrealistic. Considering many people are chronically sleep deprived just on a physical level the alarm ringing is "ugh, I want to sleep more ...if only I could sleep some more ...". Then considering for a lot of people a job is just something they have no real love for and have to do and there might be a ugly commute involved as well. Oh hooray getting out of bed! And I wouldn't even consider any of that to be depressed, though some might say it is mild depression, I'd consider it normal! Depression adds another layer to this: when not depressed you might think "i'd really like to take a vacation, to go somewhere or just to putter around the house, do a few things more fun than working etc., maybe catch up on sleep but it's not all I'd do." When depressed you think: "I want a vacation so I can sleep like 2 weeks straight, never get out of bed, and just have the sweet sweet oblivion of sleep, where I don't have to play by the rules of waking existence, and where most of the time I'm totally out of it, and I just don't have to face life itself which is terrible. The only good part of life is when I've checked out in sleep". I do find sleep helps depression recovery though, it *is* like a physical illness!
Simplicity
3-17-13, 5:42pm
I too suffer from Bipolar II. For many years it was very very very rough. I am now on an effective medication that works well for me and I've done alot and changed a lot that has really helped me. My dogs are really my salvation. They give me sooo much joy! I have been able to cut back to part time at work, thus reducing stress a lot. Our little farm here is a lot of work, but very therapeutic Working in the garden is very helpful to me, tending the animals is great too. I somehow find serenity even in relative chaos with all of the animals. Not so with humans. I know my biggest triggers, so I am diligent in avoiding them at all costs - sleep disturbances, stress, diet, alcohol. In that order. I maintain a fairly rigid sleep cycle, TRY to keep stress levels manageable and eat well. I'm really not a drinker, so the alcohol is not an issue.
I'm really not a people person, and I find that I do better alone or in very small groups for short periods of time. I do have to be careful of isolation when in a depressed episode, though. I find crowds and alot of noise and activity (ranging anywhere from being in a busy store to Vegas-type busy-ness) to absolutely wreck havoc on me. I've had more than one panic attack in Walmart and simply had to get the heck out of there.
So, a few things that work for me:
* gardening
* working with/spending time with/being around animals
* regular sleep patterns
* routine
* work less
* decent diet
I'd like to ask you guys something, too. I've always wondered if this is common or not. After a major episode, I feel like I am in a mental exhaustion for several weeks. Very slow thinking, rather stunned or somewhat "stupid" for lack of a better word. It's like my brain takes a few weeks to heal. Kind of hard to explain, really. Anyone else get that?
I have depression as well and I just came off the Cymbalta about a month ago. I am finding that I have more energy now that I am off that stuff! I make sure I get my sleep, naps, eat when I am hungry, sit out in the sunshine, clean/organize something, paint, work on my crafts, cuddle with the kitty cats or DH, and lots of Reiki :)
jennipurrr
3-17-13, 6:01pm
I started jogging about three years ago and it has really affected my mood in a positive way. I don't go fast or long distances just a couple miles a couple times a week. I have always been a walker and try to get and walk on the other days. If you did get a dog, that is something you can do together. My dog lovvvves jogs/walks and she guilts me into them with her eyes, which always ends up being for the best.
I'm in a bit of a rut right now and just started running again. Working out usually helps quite a bit.
I don't really love running or working out, but like the results. My secret motivation is to be in better shape than my friend, who is in lousy shape. With spring around the corner, my legs and arms need to be ready to be bare.
This time of year is always a downer, as spring is so near but winter is still here.
Simplicity - DH is coming off a major manic episode and I definitely notice that slowness you mention. It's been a month now and it is getting slightly better but he still seems fragile, can't remember things, has to proceed very slowly and deliberately, is very sensitive to anything stressful, etc. It is taking him a long time to recover and get back more to his normal self.
Wildflower
3-18-13, 1:31am
My dogs are often the only reason I make myself get out of bed some days. They bring me both peace and happiness, when nothing else is working for me. I've been suffering from a spinal condition the last year that is causing me extreme chronic pain that just never goes away. Neurosurgeons say it is not fixable, I will have to live with it, and will get worse over time. I also have Lupus. This is depressing, but my dogs keep me going. So I think a dog for you, Zoe Girl, would be a good thing....especially since you've already owned one and you know the responsibilities that come with owning a dog. No surprises there. My sister is bipolar and her cats really help her get through the tough days. She lives alone, newly divorced, and those kitties help her get through her really bad days...
Thank you all, I go see the psychiatrist on the 7th so i will ask about the prescription for a dog, lol. Actually it may be possible to get some type of recommendation. I am a little flaky with my landlord, I am late sometimes due to my ex having bounced checks and I am really nervous to count on getting things from him. But overall I am putting this house and property in better shape than when I found it.
2 days of gardening and teaching a meditation class were also nice.
Simplicity
3-18-13, 11:20am
Simplicity - DH is coming off a major manic episode and I definitely notice that slowness you mention. It's been a month now and it is getting slightly better but he still seems fragile, can't remember things, has to proceed very slowly and deliberately, is very sensitive to anything stressful, etc. It is taking him a long time to recover and get back more to his normal self.
That is exactly what I was talking about! You nailed the description so much better than I did! So sorry to hear that your DH is going through this, but glad he's on the mend. I go through this mental fragility after both manic and depressed episodes, although I find it much worse after mania.
I can also agree with episodes of fuzziness, lack of ability to really get things done, forgetfulness, etc. I have found out, or been reminded, of the last of my foreclosure drama. I have the 2nd mortgage that was not discharged and now it is coming back to bite me. I need to just deal with it and get beyond the shame and guilt and anger. I feel that I could have done better without my illness, and the stress of a few things at that time pushed me into needing treatment as well. I freaked a bit, but what am I going to do but deal with it. So I am taking some of today off work to see what I can do.
Taking my dogs where they can run, every day, and I walk then (used to be able to run with them, but would be physically dangerous for me now) Doing this in beautiful places is the best--the sky, the different colors of green--plus the joy of seeing what the dogs look at, sniff, how they play with each other, etc. Beauty is very nourishing for me and natural, untended beauty the best of all--wilderness, rocky mountains, oh yeah. I keep classical music on all day, for my parrot, but it's really good for me too. At the end of every day I think of things I'm glad happened that day. Things that make me laugh--DH, dogs, parrot, and in down-times for those, I look at UTUBE for funny things or interviews with interesting people.
sweetana3
3-18-13, 11:54am
A dog is a 10-15 year commitment.
Do not count on your kids to help you with the dog since they can barely manage to feed themselves.
Do you clearly understand the restrictions a large dog will put on you if and when you decide to move?
Do your finances contain the extra needed for the dog? You have mentioned several times how tight finances are. What if he/she gets a serious illness or accident or ..........Just vaccinations, flea prevention, heartworm prevention can be substantial on a tight budget.
For rescue, do you have a fenced yard and landlord's permission for a large dog?
Are you really considering adding another pressure to a tight schedule? What if you decide to study or go to school part time, etc.? You said you worked 50 hours last week and still have work to do. How will adding another time commitment help with stress and not add to it?
I would not be as concerned with a spur of the moment decision if there was someone you could count on to help with the responsibility of a large dog.
sweetana that is exactly why I am talking about it instead of just rushing out and getting a dog. However it seems that all my efforts towards human companionship are limited. So we will see about the finances improving, and no I am not counting on the kids much since they are getting slowly out of the house. I just would like one thing for me, and it may not be possible in any case.
"I would not be as concerned with a spur of the moment decision if there was someone you could count on to help with the responsibility of a large dog." (Sweetana)
Or a small dog, or a cat. A friend of mine is currently dealing with her beloved dog's chronic spinal issues and the costs involved--which may range into thousands of dollars. Companion animals require a substantial commitment of devotion, time, energy, and money-- something I have to remind myself every time I want to rush out and scoop up an armful of rescue cats.
We also are dealing with a serious health issue with one of our cats who decided to stop eating as well. We have two vets involved. Lots of hand feeding and medicine treatment along with hand feeding 3X or more a day. We have lost 3 cats to illnesses in three years. They all were costly and emotionally difficult to deal with.
It usually was hundreds of dollars a month during a serious illness and they all will either get sick or die.
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