talked to a lawyer,

[Zoe Girl]

So based on the comment by my ex I called my employee assistance line and then talked to a lawyer. I just ran home to get my separation agreement and scan that over to him so he can look it over. The good point as I see it is the agreement states I would make my 'best effort' to refinance, not that I was required to at any cost. I honestly both spent 8 months trying to sell during the divorce, tried to refinance, and then tried to short sale and get the best price. However there is another part that says we will make up anything we cannot uphold in the agreement. So I am not sure if not being able to refinance was breaking the agreement or if that only applies if I did not make a best effort towards refinancing (in that case i will use all my work towards a better paying job so that I COULD refinance).

My other idea is to simply ask my ex and his attorney to take into consideration that when he lost his job I took over the health insurance at $400 a month and did not ask for additional money. That was a year and a half ago and other than insurance he is pretty much earning the same as a contract employee. I just want to be clean of this and move on with some decent feelings towards each other,

I feel better getting counsel, I talked to the collection company so they know why I have not immediately returned paperwork to them. I have until the 26th to make the payment, and should get paperwork in asap. I have 30 minutes free consultation and 25% off the legal fees through my employee assistance.

[Valley]

You were smart to talk with an attorney Anne. Everyone loves to give advice...but advice from someone who knows and understands the laws involved, is the only advice that will help resolve this issue. Good luck, I'm rooting for you!!

[SteveinMN]

tried to short sale and get the best price. However there is another part that says we will make up anything we cannot uphold in the agreement. So I am not sure if not being able to refinance was breaking the agreement or if that only applies if I did not make a best effort towards refinancing (in that case i will use all my work towards a better paying job so that I COULD refinance).
Zoe (Anne?), you might want to see how your state handles short sales. The difference between the amount owed on the mortgage and the final sale price of the house is handled differently in different states. In some states, that difference essentially is written off; the short sale settles any claims between lender and mortgagee. In other states, you are on the hook for the difference. And, in still other states, the difference is considered as "income" to the mortgagor and is taxed come April 15.

Might the precedent in your state for short sales be helpful in identifying whether you have met the terms of the separation agreement?

[Zoe Girl]

Steve, I hired a short sale specialist when i put the house on the market to try and sell the 2nd time that ended in foreclosure. I think they did advise me that the 2nd was still valid, however it does say in the loan paperwork that it was secured by the house rather than being an unsecured debt. There was a specific tax thing I needed to do that year, honestly it was so upsetting that I do not remember much and that is why I hired help.

Hey, how did you know my name? Not a big deal but just curious.

[flowerseverywhere]

Hey, how did you know my name? Not a big deal but just curious. this is not a very anonymous forum. Once I googled how to make yogurt and a thread here came up. You don't have to register to view the posts. Call me paranoid, but I am very careful what personal info I put on a forum that anyone can see - who knows what would be permissible in court if it came to that.

[SteveinMN]

I just mentioned the different laws because I thought it might be applicable to whether the outcome of the event played into the separation agreement.


Hey, how did you know my name? Not a big deal but just curious.
Valley mentioned it in the post above mine. :) I always thought your name was Zoe; hence the question marks. I hope it didn't creep you out....

[Zoe Girl]

ahh, didn't even catch that name thing. Zoe is the name of my dog who actually passed away. And I am not a 'girl' although it has caused some interesting reactions to my posts that people think I am pretty young. i have more gray hair than my mother.

Very bad news, yes he can do this. I am liable for any damages he suffers because I did not refinance the house. I had told the lawyer that I took on the children's health insurance with not request for adjustment in child support so I wanted to see if we could draft a letter to my ex and lawyer to see if they would consider that as good faith and then work out their own settlement with the 2nd with some payment by me to my ex if needed, His answer was to file for additional child support. I know that is just how lawyers think but geez, it seems that maybe a decent conversation would help rather than another freakin' lawyer battle. I called and left a message with my ex, the suggestion of the lawyer was to work closely with him. I can't even imagine working with him, he does things horribly late, confusing and keeps sleep/wake hours that baffle me, This could easily be the biggest pain my rear of the last few years, When my daughter did not want to live with him any more and I asked to adjust child support and it was 11 months and $5K, I know he was trying to run me out of money for a lawyer so I could not get appropriate child support. What bugs the crap out of me is that it is totally legal to do this and I had to pay the same in legal fees as he did even though he had no legal standing at all to argue this.

One idea is to continue with my plan to sign to be released and pay the amount I need to, then let him deal or procrastinate until there is a judgement against him. He can sue me after that and i can go before a judge and have documents of everything I tried to do, communication, attempts at joint settlement, my good effort to sell the house then refinance/get a job that would support a refinance, and show my income compared to his. I could at that point still declare bankruptcy possibly. I need to consult with the lawyer. Of course any time you go to court it is a gamble at best. There is the law and then there is the judge's interpretation.

the bottom line, really my heart is a bit broken again. Of course we are both angry over this, I lost a house and had a to find a place to live and wasn't sure if I could but he kept refusing to take the children and they kept refusing to live with him. So I took care of it, and i didn't learn so much that people are kind or generous although they are important. I learned that there are so many people who are mean, and selfish, and are afraid to trust a little, and acting so much out of their own pain and damage that they just keep beating people down in their own attempt to avoid suffering which they cannot. Wow, that was not what I expected to say at all.

[Zoe Girl]

PS I don't know that my name is all that public but I did put a link to an article I wrote once on here.