View Full Version : Planning a Wedding!!
decemberlov
4-30-13, 1:48pm
My fiance and I (Joe) are planning a wedding! Although it's very exciting the money issue has been giving me anxiety just thinking about it! I want things to be simple but I also want them to feel special. We've discussed doing a BBQ at home - which I though was okay but that in it's self makes me nervous as well. The last thing I want to worry about is how clean the house is and the mess etc. We've been brainstorming ideas and I think we have found a great solution and some ways to save money!
I want to have a Brunch wedding! I'm thinking food first and then the actual ceremony. We're going to plan it so that fruits and veggies will be in season and we can get it all local. He's thinking country club for just our closest family and friends...however I'm thinking maybe a farm or a park. I wouldn't mind buying all the food and just having someone cook made to order omelets and pancakes - plus fruit salad, bagels, muffins, coffee & juice. I'm just wondering if this would work out to be more expensive since we'd need to have the proper gear to cook everything? Thoughts? I also know that by doing the brunch we will save money as we will not be buying alcohol...maybe just a few bottles of champagne for mimosas but that's it. Also no DJ but an ipod with some nice music.
What ideas to you guys have for cutting wedding costs? Any thoughts on the brunch wedding? I know I could save way more if I didn't do anything but go to the courthouse but with most of my family being kind of far I'm also thinking of this as a little family reunion and want it to feel special :)
Gardenarian
4-30-13, 1:59pm
Congratulations!
I think brunch is a great idea. I've never been to a wedding where they served the food first, though - a break with tradition! Could you skip the omelets and pancakes (as good as that sounds) and have it all be ready-to-eat buffet? Maybe bagels with different kinds of cream cheese?
Would you have dancing? What kind of ceremony would you have? Also - a wedding cake?
Another thought - I would want to have a clean house to come home to after my wedding in any case. I think the cleaning is worth it on such a special occasion - you're starting a new life, even if you need to pay someone to help out. (That's the pagan in me speaking. A clean sweep means bringing in fresh, clean, positive energy.)
I did get married in a courthouse and the only thing I missed was having a wedding cake - dh and I are going to have an anniversary party (this year or next) with a real wedding cake.
decemberlov
4-30-13, 2:03pm
I'm not a fan of cake...I was think wedding pie ;)
Probably no dancing...but some games like hula hooping and bean bag tosses :)
I want a very short and sweet ceremony...I'm thinking maybe I can find a place with a small gazebo.
Forgoing the omelets and pancakes is definitely a possibility!
treehugger
4-30-13, 2:10pm
Congratulations! I am married to a Joe (17 years next month), so I approve. I think the key thing to remember is to plan a special, personal wedding that means something to you and Joe. Don't just follow the wedding crowd (which it sounds like you are definitely not doing), stick to your budget, and everything will turn out great. And hold fast to your principles and plans, because *everyone* will be giving you advice (yeah, I know I am also giving you advice) so it can be easy to get railroaded.
Here's what worked for me: I planned the whole thing in three weeks all by myself. No one had time to impose their will on me (we have 7 parents between the 2 of us, so there is lots of will to go around). Not saying this is practical for everyone.
Best wishes to you!
Kara
decemberlov
4-30-13, 2:20pm
Congratulations! I am married to a Joe (17 years next month), so I approve. I think the key thing to remember is to plan a special, personal wedding that means something to you and Joe. Don't just follow the wedding crowd (which it sounds like you are definitely not doing), stick to your budget, and everything will turn out great. And hold fast to your principles and plans, because *everyone* will be giving you advice (yeah, I know I am also giving you advice) so it can be easy to get railroaded.
Here's what worked for me: I planned the whole thing in three weeks all by myself. No one had time to impose their will on me (we have 7 parents between the 2 of us, so there is lots of will to go around). Not saying this is practical for everyone.
Best wishes to you!
Kara
Thank you :) I will definitely stay true to my plan!
So far I have not gotten any unwanted advice yet..just they "when are you getting married" question for 2 years now. Last year we planned on getting married but spent the money on a down payment for our house instead. I have so many friend that have gotten engaged and had a date for the wedding by the end of the week...location and all...I have no idea how people manage this!
try2bfrugal
4-30-13, 2:21pm
Congratulation on the upcoming wedding! I see some nice weddings held around the gazebo at the local municipal garden. The gazebo is surrounded by roses and is next to a park with a small lake with fountains and floating gardens. There is a state park with a couple of mountain peaks in the background. The garden and the park both have indoor and outdoor areas available for receptions. There are also picnic areas people can rent for groups in the park. I have never noticed a wedding reception in the picnic areas, but there are many other group picnics there so that is something if I was getting married I would consider for a low cost, outdoorsy reception in a beautiful location.
One of my relatives had her wedding in a church and just had a pot luck type reception in another relatives rec room. I always thought that was fine, so for me I would probably never do anything more expensive or elaborate than that.
We went to a justice of the peace and sat around our apartment drinking beer with friends afterwards but I guess most people would find that a bit too frugal. In hindsight I think that was a bit too frugal even for us. :)
Congrats! We had our wedding in a public park. We rented the main lodge there, a cool WPA era stone lodge, hand built. The park is 10 minutes from our house. It was a perfect place to get married, and very affordable. It felt good, too, to spend the small rental $$ supporting a public park in Seattle.
We gave my MIL $100 to go to Pike Place Market & buy flowers for us. We had about 20 vases bought at Goodwill, for .69 each. My SIL, a chef, prepared all the food in our kitchen! It was so fun.
My suggestions for a great wedding...
keep it simple
have fun
Tussiemussies
4-30-13, 4:17pm
We went to a country wedding cookout, it was nice and a lot of fun....maybe you could hire a one-time housecleaner for the day before? If you have it at a farm, not all of them smell so great. Any public location if there are Canadian geese around you will have a big problem with geese poop.LOL
You could have an organized list of friends that will take turns for grilling. And have some sides catered? Maybe you know of someone who could bake the pies as a present to you?
You would have to tell your neighbors in advance so they know there would be a lot of noise that day.
Will you be having children at your event?
Congratulations!
Christine
We rented a shelter at the beach for $22 for our wedding rehearsal "dinner" and it would have been a great place to have our wedding and so much less expensive. We provided all the food, paper plates, trash bags, etc. My fil and his brother did the BBQing. It was a really, really great idea and I'd recommend it.
No need to worry about cleaning the house =)
I attended a wedding at a local country club where the bride and groom actually got married in a small upstairs area with only immediate family present. Then they came downstairs to the brunch reception where all of their guests were waiting and were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Then we all helped ourselves to the buffet brunch, listened to a little music and took photos.
Simple and sweet.
I love everything about your idea! I think that brunch weddings can be lovely and you are right, no alcohol=inexpensive. If it turns out that you've got enough $ you could add in Mimosas.
My perfect wedding is: invite me, give me a glass of something, something to nosh on, and get married while I am watching you. Or if you want to get married upstairs while I am arriving and getting food/drink, that is ok, too!
If find the Sat night 6 hours events to be deadly dull and they have so little originality.
jennipurrr
4-30-13, 10:18pm
I really like the idea of a brunch wedding!
For a smallish reception you might want to consider local places that do brunch if they have a separate area for your party. I had a reception of about 50 people at a restaurant and the price was much cheaper than having it catered...almost 10 years later and everyone still remembers it as the best wedding food they've had.
congrats.
I've been to a brunch wedding and it was wonderful. Sounds like a great idea.
Oooh! I really wanted to have a brunch wedding! When DH and I started wedding planning, it was my first idea.
I wanted it to be at the local park (free venue!) in an area where there are lots of picnic tables. i was going to serve some crustless mini quiches, yogurt parfaits, fruit salad, green, salad, and toast/jam, orange juice, and tea/coffee (which would have been brought in rented big thermos things that you can rent at a party store). And then, of course, cake!
I wanted very few guests -- it was a list around 20.
The budget was really low, honestly. I think the biggest expense was renting out the plates, mugs, etc from the party store. Clean up was relatively easy because they told us to scrape everything, put them in the boxes and return them dirty, as they had industrial washers at the shop. I think that was going to be something like $120? And then food wasn't that much, really -- probably about $100? Then the cake, which I would have had made because I love good cake and can't make them to save my life. That might have cost about $50 from a good cake shop. The ones I normally got for my birthday were about that. Definitely would feed 20 that cake.
Anyway, yeah. that was the idea. then license, JoP fees, and dress for me and whatever DH wanted to wear. And I wasnt' going to go fancy anyway. . .
So what did you end up with Zoebird?
My dream wedding was small, early fall, and on the farm. My husbands dream wedding was on a ski slope (I didn't ski at the time). Then I wanted late night in a small candle lit chapel. We ended up with the huge formal afternoon into evening with sit-down meal wedding my mother always wanted.
I mentioned recently in another wedding thread about attending an early morning wedding with donuts instead of cake (easy to build a tower cake from donuts), and a barn wedding with pies instead of cake. I love all the variety these days.
Congratulations!!
We had a less-traditional wedding as well. The vows did come first, but at the same venue (coffeehouse we'd rented for the night) as the reception. Family was invited "early" to the exchange of vows; others were invited at a later time to what was essentially an open house. Family and friends chose to provide many of the dishes present at the open house. We paid the coffeehouse for coffee/tea/soft drinks and two hours of house wines; they allowed the money spent on that against the room rental, so that kind of cost us "nothing". We didn't do the wedding cake thing, either. Not that we objected to cake; it just wasn't something we had to do.
We married in April, and, in Minnesota, that means inside. You do have to think about the weather -- in your case, rain if it's outside, and maybe unseasonably cool temperatures.
Other thoughts:
- It sounds fun to offer made-to-order omelettes, etc., but be aware they take a fair amount of time to cook properly. The cafeteria where I worked offered omelettes to order on Fridays and getting there at any time after the cafeteria opened pretty much guaranteed a 10-15 minute wait for your omelette. Not the most fun way to spend time unless your guests know each other well enough to chat to pass the time.
- If you want to decorate, I see ads on craigslist frequently for brides getting rid of their wedding decor. Given enough time, you probably can pick your color/style for cheap and you get to pick it up all at once.
- Parks are not always free. Here they required an event permit; not terribly expensive, but it wasn't free. Or outside was free but the pavilion/shelter was not. Make sure you know how much your choice will cost.
- We did have a DJ, but that was my strong preference (for lots of reasons); an iPod will work, but make sure someone is watching it and vet the songs. I would swear the band at my first wedding played "Your Cheatin' Heart" or "Lying Eyes" or something like that. Maybe they were just seeing if anyone was paying attention. But I wasn't up for the joke.
- It wouldn't hurt to create a little program/schedule for your guests. That way no one is waiting around for a bouquet toss that isn't happening and no one has to guess how long they have to stick around before they can leave.
We had a small mid-day wedding at a B&B and served lunch after the ceremony. It was a gathering time for family and friends and we skipped all the usual American wedding after-meal stuff (dancing, bouquet toss, etc). Instead we had plenty of time to visit with those who had traveled so far to see us. We hired out all services because we actually got married in my MIL's town rather than our own - we lived in AZ and I wanted to get married in a place with trees, plus she lived in a really central location. The B&B was lovely and we have many fond memories of that day.
decemberlov
5-1-13, 10:43am
We rented a shelter at the beach for $22 for our wedding rehearsal "dinner" and it would have been a great place to have our wedding and so much less expensive. We provided all the food, paper plates, trash bags, etc. My fil and his brother did the BBQing. It was a really, really great idea and I'd recommend it.
No need to worry about cleaning the house =)
Sounds Wonderful :)
decemberlov
5-1-13, 10:52am
I love everything about your idea! I think that brunch weddings can be lovely and you are right, no alcohol=inexpensive. If it turns out that you've got enough $ you could add in Mimosas.
We were definitely thinking mimosas!
My favorite New Year's ever the kids and I all fell asleep way before midnight and totally missed it...I woke up early and made us blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs and fruit and we made mimosas (sparkling cider for the kiddos of course) and I remember how lovely and elegant it felt! Much better than starting your New Year with a hangover, IMO!
If find the Sat night 6 hours events to be deadly dull and they have so little originality.
uggghhh aren't they!
decemberlov
5-1-13, 11:13am
We had a less-traditional wedding as well. The vows did come first, but at the same venue (coffeehouse we'd rented for the night) as the reception. Family was invited "early" to the exchange of vows; others were invited at a later time to what was essentially an open house. Family and friends chose to provide many of the dishes present at the open house. We paid the coffeehouse for coffee/tea/soft drinks and two hours of house wines; they allowed the money spent on that against the room rental, so that kind of cost us "nothing". We didn't do the wedding cake thing, either. Not that we objected to cake; it just wasn't something we had to do.
Sounds like a great time! I like the idea of renting out a coffee shop!
Other thoughts:
- It sounds fun to offer made-to-order omelettes, etc., but be aware they take a fair amount of time to cook properly. The cafeteria where I worked offered omelettes to order on Fridays and getting there at any time after the cafeteria opened pretty much guaranteed a 10-15 minute wait for your omelette. Not the most fun way to spend time unless your guests know each other well enough to chat to pass the time. - Very good point and without the eggs and it would be much easier to do this in a park! I think even pancakes we could get warm even if made ahead and put in one of those buffet things that keep food hot, if they were wrapped in foil? I don't know though...But I think we could do just fine without hot food all together!!
- If you want to decorate, I see ads on craigslist frequently for brides getting rid of their wedding decor. Given enough time, you probably can pick your color/style for cheap and you get to pick it up all at once. - I'm not thinking much in the way of decorations, but, maybe mason jars on the tables with a few flowers - I must have at least 20 :) or maybe wine bottles collected from friends...But you never know what may strike my fancy to decorate with, craigslist is just fun to find nifty stuff on anyway!
- We did have a DJ, but that was my strong preference (for lots of reasons); an iPod will work, but make sure someone is watching it and vet the songs. I would swear the band at my first wedding played "Your Cheatin' Heart" or "Lying Eyes" or something like that. Maybe they were just seeing if anyone was paying attention. But I wasn't up for the joke. - You just made me laugh out loud! Ha! I'm sure at the moment though it wasn't all that funny though :~)
- It wouldn't hurt to create a little program/schedule for your guests. That way no one is waiting around for a bouquet toss that isn't happening and no one has to guess how long they have to stick around before they can leave. - good point! Some may be a little confused with the lack of activities lol
decemberlov
5-1-13, 11:34am
My dream wedding was small, early fall, and on the farm. My husbands dream wedding was on a ski slope (I didn't ski at the time). Then I wanted late night in a small candle lit chapel. We ended up with the huge formal afternoon into evening with sit-down meal wedding my mother always wanted.
I mentioned recently in another wedding thread about attending an early morning wedding with donuts instead of cake (easy to build a tower cake from donuts), and a barn wedding with pies instead of cake. I love all the variety these days.
Float On - I wanted my wedding on a farm as well!! A friend and I talked about sharing the cost of renting a farm in Maryland - she is planning a wedding for next year also. Her mom lives down there and is friends with 2 sisters that own a farm. The one is a professional chef and they are opening a small restaurant this June only seats about 20 and all organic food! Joe didn't like the idea of asking people to travel over an hr. We live in south jersey and we have some family in north Jersey and it would be quite a hike! After thinking about all the details, I had to agree it just wouldn't work out well and would most likely me way more money than we want to spend. But oh it would be so lovely!!
decemberlov
5-1-13, 11:38am
Oooh! I really wanted to have a brunch wedding! When DH and I started wedding planning, it was my first idea.
I wanted it to be at the local park (free venue!) in an area where there are lots of picnic tables. i was going to serve some crustless mini quiches, yogurt parfaits, fruit salad, green, salad, and toast/jam, orange juice, and tea/coffee (which would have been brought in rented big thermos things that you can rent at a party store). And then, of course, cake!
I wanted very few guests -- it was a list around 20.
The budget was really low, honestly. I think the biggest expense was renting out the plates, mugs, etc from the party store. Clean up was relatively easy because they told us to scrape everything, put them in the boxes and return them dirty, as they had industrial washers at the shop. I think that was going to be something like $120? And then food wasn't that much, really -- probably about $100? Then the cake, which I would have had made because I love good cake and can't make them to save my life. That might have cost about $50 from a good cake shop. The ones I normally got for my birthday were about that. Definitely would feed 20 that cake.
Anyway, yeah. that was the idea. then license, JoP fees, and dress for me and whatever DH wanted to wear. And I wasnt' going to go fancy anyway. . .
Great minds think alike ;)
What did you end up doing?
decemberlov
5-1-13, 1:12pm
For a smallish reception you might want to consider local places that do brunch if they have a separate area for your party. I had a reception of about 50 people at a restaurant and the price was much cheaper than having it catered...almost 10 years later and everyone still remembers it as the best wedding food they've had.
If we do go with the Country Club there is a nice one that does the brunch for $12 per person. Considering I've hear some people pay over $50 a plate (for not so great food) it sounds like a good deal!
there are so many unique, low-cost ideas on the web for weddings. Some of my faves: "teatime" wedding in the afternoon, so guests know there won't be lunch or dinner, just teas, coffees, lemonade,scones, muffins, etc. Wedding in the park or on farm with hula-hoops and other games sounds like old-fashioned fun. Possibly get a family member or dear friend to obtain certification from Universal Life church so they can perform wedding ceremony. Instead of a DJ for an after-wedding dance, with just a few couples on a dance floor while the rest of the wedding guests just sit there because they don't like the music or dancing: bride and groom pick a bar they like, maybe with music and dance floor; invite anybody who wants to come to meet there night of ceremony. Those who want to, can dance, party, buy whatever drink they want. No advance planning, no DJ, no pressure, no cost.
Great minds think alike ;)
What did you end up doing?
We ended up with a much fancier wedding because that's what DH and my family wanted (and DH's family took credit for planning and paying for, even though they did nothing! LOL).
We rented a colonial house in a historical park for the day (it was a $1k rental), and then had a welcoming reception (food) prior to the wedding, and then followed with a sit-down dinner. That bit (which included the two cakes since I wanted a bride and a groom cake) cost about $3k. Then everything else came in for another $3k -- which included a lot of things that I didn't want like a photographer, flowers and other decorations, my dress (which was only $300), DH's suit, etc, etc. We also had about 90 guests -- way more than I wanted (DH's family invited something like 9 couples).
My parents paid for all of it, because they wanted something fancier.
These were the plans that I'd come up with that DH:
1. garden version with JOP (above);
2. quaker meeting version -- we were attending quaker meeting at the time and ultimately did have a quaker wedding. We thought to do one Sunday afternoon, after normal service. It's usually a pot-luck, and we would provide cakes, tea, and coffee. This one was loudly and soundly rejected.
3. restaurant version -- i thought we could invite DH's family (8 people plus DH) and my family (including two out-of-town guests -- 5 people plus me) plus DH's two best friends and their partners, invite a JOP, and then have a nice dinner (pre-planned and paid menu at $25 pp).
4. courthouse plus dessert bar -- I thought that DH's parents and sister, and my parents and sister could go to the courthouse and have the ceremony and then go to a local dessert bar after.
5. courthouse and done -- DH and I go to the courthouse, marry and are done. Maybe we go to dinner.
I am not much of a romantic really.
iris lilies
5-3-13, 8:59pm
We went to the courthouse, married, had dinner. I am a not much of a romantic, really. haha! And both of us were older (mid 30's) and were busy at that time preparing to move and besides, we are too cheap to spend much for things that we don't value.
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