View Full Version : Cash, Kids, and Parents Who Don't Carry Any
This issue comes up more often as my children grow older. In spite of a nostalgic attachment to physical cash, I find I use the debit card for everything, and I almost never have any actual cash in my wallet. My kids seem to always need little bits of cash for things at school. (My son just came home wanting $8 for the yearbook. Today is the last day they're selling it. I had five ones in my wallet). My daughter started track this year, for instance, and the first few meets we went to were free. Then, one day, we drove for an hour to a meet, and they wanted to charge us two dollars a piece to get in. That's fine, but we didn't have two dollars each, so my wife and son and I had to gaze through the fence. That actually happened to me once again. My son had taken my last five dollars for something, and then there was a meet the next day, and they wanted cash, which I didn't have, so I had to wander around the outside of the chain link fence watching my daughter compete like I was some kind of drug dealer.
I can't be the only person out there who never really has any cash on hand. That day, however, I was one of only two people lurking around outside the fence.
It drives my kids crazy because they have money in their budget line items for their allowance and school supplies and activities, etc. I just can't hand five bucks over at a moments notice because I just don't have it on me.
I figure at best it saves us money, but it seems kind of weird. Cash is so not present in this society that when I get to something like a sporting event, and there's a sour-faced person with a cash box at the gate, it's like I've stepped into another society.
I try to always have some cash on hand, but it gets wafted out of my wallet fairly quickly, (though always within budget). Then, there's no more cash until I happen to be out doing the weekly shopping, and I happen to think that maybe it would be good to get $20 bucks back, and that's maybe once a month.
Do other parents run into this? A dad with an empty wallet is such a disappointment to teens and pre-teens.
rodeosweetheart
5-15-13, 6:20pm
I would keep a jar at home with a lot of ones and fives--whatever you budget for the month, taking into account what you spent last month. Then, the children are free to take what they need, and so can you. Problem solved!
DW squirrels away ones and fives and tens all over the place; a habit when money hidden was money not spent. I've long kept a stash of tens and twenties around for just those occasions when I need cash and don't have it. If it's hard enough to get to, and the understanding is that you are the only one who gets the cash out when it's needed, it should stick around for a while.
Paul, like you I never carry cash. Right now I've got a few pennies and one nickel in my billfold.
But if I had kids, I'd change my ways. It's only for a few years then they will be grown and you can go back to not carrying cash.
Blackdog Lin
5-15-13, 9:55pm
To me it's just a little bit of common sense to always carry a little cash these days. (disclaimer: I am indeed a prepper, and think differently about these things anymore.) My personal amount of "a little cash" is $40.00 - I try to always have at least this amount on me when leaving the house.
Power goes out during one type of emergency or another, and cards are toast: I'm covered. Diner-in-the-middle-of-nowhere doesn't take cards: covered. A good Samaritan offers vehicular assistance and I'd really like to thank them: covered. A grandkid confesses that they don't have meal money to cover their track meet this afternoon: covered.
I use my debit card almost exclusively, for daily purchases - but I also can't imagine leaving the house without a certain amount of cold hard cash.
My local area is a mostly-cash-based economy, except for the tourists.
China is a heavily cash-based economy. But even when I'm in the US, I make a point of trying to have at least $20 in my purse or pocket at all times. You just never know when you might need it.
I think paying for something for your kids spontaneously when they need it doesn't set a bad precedent, as long as you make it clear that you are fronting them the cash and they will need to repay you from their own funds in the next couple of days. This is actually how we handle allowances for our kids. Rather than giving them cash, I have an automatic transfer that moves their allowance into their online accounts from my checking account every week. If we are out or they want to buy something on line, I'll ask them if they are willing to spend their own money for it. If the answer is yes, I'll front them the cash (or put it on my debit card) and then transfer the equivalent amount out of their online account and back into mine.
Another thought -- if these are school- or community-centered events, couldn't you just borrow the cash from another parent and pay them back in a day or two? I wouldn't want to make a habit of that (hence the $20 reserve idea), but might work if you ever find yourself in a pinch again.
lhamo
I have cash on hand for the business (change, the nightly deposit), but I rarely have any personal cash on hand. Being in the city, we can use the debit card for everything, and we really only use it twice a week (grocery shopping and our burrito night now that we switched from thai since hte burrito place opened! And the burritos cost less!). We also use it for gas (every other week).
But, whenever we go out of town, we carry cash becuase there are lots of places in NZ that don't accept debit cards, still!
I keep extra cash in the car in an altoids tin with my car emergency gear. It's accessible if I need it but not too convenient.
I have that, too, herbgeek. I forgot about it. I keep it with the emergency kit that's in the area where the spare tire and stuff is kept (road flares, blah blah blah).
I usually write checks for various school demands. That's about the only time I write an actual check anymore.
I keep little cash in my wallet but like many above, I do keep a little on hand at home for occasions when I need it.
Miss Cellane
5-16-13, 11:46am
Well, there's a couple of things you can do.
Double the amount of cash you usually carry around.
Call ahead for the track meets to see if there's an entrance fee.
Tell your kids "no" when they ask for money at the last minute. One or two times of that, and they won't wait until the last day to ask for the money.
Write more checks, when possible.
Your kids are at that age where you don't control all their spending anymore--there's Scout fees and yearbook fees and other costs--but they also aren't old enough to earn all the money they spend. I think at least temporarily, you should carry a bit more money with you.
I know several people who claim they never use cash anymore, but they still have to pay tolls and deal with the odd store that doesn't take debit/credit cards and things like that. There's usually $20 in my wallet. It can stay there for weeks, and then be used up in one weekend trip to the farmer's market.
DW squirrels away ones and fives and tens all over the place; a habit when money hidden was money not spent. I've long kept a stash of tens and twenties around for just those occasions when I need cash and don't have it. If it's hard enough to get to, and the understanding is that you are the only one who gets the cash out when it's needed, it should stick around for a while.
I'm with Steve on this one. I hide cash all over the place in my purses and cars. There is a coin purse in each car/truck with a rolls worth of quarters, plus there is $1's and $5's in the cubby hole where sunglasses go. My husband keeps a stash of $20's in his music room.
If we need cash for the kids we can find it.
We just consider this our 'petty cash fund' and I try to replenish when I notice one of the 'stashes' is low.
I'm surprised at how many people keep a little cash on hand. I don't think of it as such a problem -- in regards to the original post, I was just expressing surprise that cash comes up so often in my kids lives. I would think that so few people carry cash, that requests for it would not be so prevalent. Since I, who like the idea of cash, and even tried using cash for everything a while back, would fall into a routine where none ever seems called for, (except by children), it would seem that the less Luddite portion of the population would really make a point to be cashless. But it sounds from the forum as if enough people make a point of having some cash, that it really isn't as scarce as hen's teeth as I would surmise.
The only time I do use cash is when I go to the Farmer's market, and then I make a point of getting some.
And you would think children would learn not to wait til the last minute, but no, this has been going on for years.
I keep cash on hand for two reasons:
1. farmers market
2. DH likes to have cash and doesn't give me any notice until he wants it, i.e. telling me that he'll need some in a couple of days. I don't like to make extra trips in the car for just one tiny errand.
ToomuchStuff
5-18-13, 11:37am
I don't understand the plastic mentality. I know of lots of stores that are cash based, and have only dealt with two that didn't want cash. It surprises me still that people don't look for the credit/debit accepted stickers on the FRONT DOORs of places. Where I work, we have four signs posted, and people stand next to and under the last two, and still blankly pull out plastic (we don't take any plastic).
Too used to the false advertising from Visa I guess "Visa, its everywhere you want to be".
If you can't tell, I am a cash person, but a lack of planning on someone else's part, does not constitute and emergency on my part.
I've always carried some cash with me. After 9/11 I started carrying quite a bit more. One of the first things I decided to do once I had heard the news was get some cash in case things went really downhill. I spent most of the morning going from ATM to ATM in hoboken NJ trying to find one that worked. It made me realize how fragile our banking infrastructure actually is so now, in addition to routinely carrying at least $100 in my wallet, I also keep enough cash at home to cover us should we either 1) not have access to our bank accounts for a while for some reason, or 2) we need to leave San Francisco due to some sort of citywide emergency.
Personally I use cash for most face to face purchases. The exceptions are work related expenses that go on my corporate card and groceries, so that I can track how much we spend on them. As such I usually get $200 from the ATM whenever I'm running low, which is every 3 to 4 weeks. Even though I don't have a set time for how long the money must last (ie I've known people who did and if the money ran out before month's end they just stopped spending) I find that I spend less now than I did when I mainly used my credit card. Now if I spend $60 on dinner I really know that the money is gone. Much more so than when I'd just look at the cc statement at month's end and think "wow! I spent that much eating out!"
iris lilies
5-18-13, 12:11pm
Well, one reason I don't carry cash is that DH is my banker and he's always got cash around.
Yesterday I was running errands and found a very convenient parking spot that required meter feeding. Fortunatley I had 3 dimes. It wouldn't take the bunch of pennies that I had.
mtnlaurel
5-18-13, 12:15pm
I am a pickpockets dream, I have to have my 'walking around change'.
I keep any gifted $$ to me folded in a special place in my wallet - what I use to pay for my own non-essential purchases.
I like to keep $40 at minimum in my wallet, then keep receipts to record.
On top of that I carry a little portion of my kid's christmas/bday $ in 2 birthday cards in my purse. If they see something they can't live without, we can have the discussion if that is really what they want to do with their spending portion of their gift $ and they are empowered to make their own decisions/purchases.
I too like to have a couple of car stashes and around the house stashes.
But I was raised with a 'Cash Talks, BS Walks' mindset.
I used to be queen of the debit card, but I've started paying for more with cash. I take out at least a couple hundred every pay period. I like to have more on me than I need. If I still have cash on me when the next paycheck rolls around, I'll delay hitting the ATM until I need to.
What drives me bats is all the change I now am accumulating. I empty it out of my purse as soon as possible due to the weight. I have a large stash in the covered section of my car's center armrest. I also keep some in my drawer at work, for hitting the soda/snack machine (not that often). Coworkers sometimes need change for the machines, so I can exchange some of my change for bills that way.
I've also got about $30-40 in various small bills and change in the get-home bag in my car trunk. I sometimes, after going through the fast food drive through, will stash the occasional dollar bill in my car armrest.
I sometimes stash cash in various places like Steve's wife.
I do empty my pockets of change every night and put it in a container. When the container is full, it's off to the credit union for counting. The amount falls between $50 and $60 and it's "mad money" for non-essential purchases.
I am one who never has cash on me but I do have a bit stashed away at home. I find that if I have it on me, I will spend it and thus far have not needed it. That would probably be different if I still had kids at home.
Mighty Frugal
5-21-13, 1:22pm
I think if it is important to your family and you are willing to spend this cash (if you had it) then you should try to have more on hand so you and the family can watch your daughter compete and your son can get that Yearbook.
If it isn't a huge imposition and it is something I either believe in or am ambivalent about, I always err to my children's requests.
As for me, I am like most of you, have stashes squirreled here or there. We went through the 2003 blackout where cash was king.
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