SiouzQ.
5-28-13, 10:46am
I get like this proceeding any vacation, a horrible sense of restlessness, anticipation, counting down the days, feeling like I am going to blow up at someone. The thing that is exacerbating it is that fact that I have become a terrible recluse the last few months. I hardly go out like I used to - some of it is due to my work schedule, a lot of it has to do with money (I went from being debt-free for years to now having the car payment and now a bunch of medical bills). Some of it is that I seem to be leaving my former social group and the type of lifestyle that involved late nights, social and/or binge drinking (and with it, the requisite smoking). I find that since I have quit the smoking, going out to the bar for music and a beer just doesn't hold the same allure as it once did. Plus, the fact that I have to often get up at 5am for work.
I just don't know what is next, and I am starting to crave being able to smoke again, just because I am uncomfortable in this place I am in. That is another reason I am avoiding going out because I do not want to be tempted!
On one hand, I feel like I have been launched back to my teenage years of doubts and insecurities but on the other, I feel like I am honoring myself and my health by making these changes, which, of course, are all for the better. I need to get the gumption up to make new friends that reflect more of my current interests and that scares me, being the introvert that I am. One of the reasons I learned to play the guitar ten years ago was to find a new social group and that has worked for a long, long time - one solution I suppose is to start hanging out with the more health-minded musicians I know, the coffee-house and house concert crowd vs. the bar crowd. Lately, it has been just too easy to hang out at home alone...
I just don't know what is next, and I am starting to crave being able to smoke again, just because I am uncomfortable in this place I am in. That is another reason I am avoiding going out because I do not want to be tempted!
On one hand, I feel like I have been launched back to my teenage years of doubts and insecurities but on the other, I feel like I am honoring myself and my health by making these changes, which, of course, are all for the better. I need to get the gumption up to make new friends that reflect more of my current interests and that scares me, being the introvert that I am. One of the reasons I learned to play the guitar ten years ago was to find a new social group and that has worked for a long, long time - one solution I suppose is to start hanging out with the more health-minded musicians I know, the coffee-house and house concert crowd vs. the bar crowd. Lately, it has been just too easy to hang out at home alone...