View Full Version : How did you choose where to live state, town (or closest town)?
I've moved a lot of times, and sometimes the choices turned out great, other times not so much--sometimes I didn't know about the presence of opportunities that would have really appealed to me. Sometimes I felt I had a choice to move and where--other times not. The reasons I left the former place varied too. For example, I left Austin (a place I might have been able to live in happily forever if I indeed have the capacity to stay put) to get a college teaching job in the only place I had an offer--Williamsburg, VA, which I hated for its insularity and conservatism, the opposite of Austin. I think about moving again if we could afford it, but not sure how to pick a place. I'd like one with few natural disasters and few hate groups and lots of available wild countryside (except for forest fires that sort of describes where we live now). I'd like a lower altitude (I have an altitude-related chronic illness) and similar great air quality to where we are now. I'd like more water. These things just whirl around in my head on a fairly regular basis, same for DH. A place with a good Quaker meeting would be nice too. A place we could afford to live. I realize that all the places I've lived in since Austin graduate school were either state capitals or tourist towns or both (Austin, Williamsburg, Columbia SC, Washington DC, New York City, Rhinebeck NY, Santa Fe NM. I don't know why that is and only recently realized it. What about you--conscious reasons and/or suspected unconscious reasons? Are there places you would like to live more than where you live now--realistically affordable places?
If you don't mind the occasional earthquake or volcanic eruption, the Pacific Northwest might meet your needs. Why, I have wild countryside right in my front yard! Some areas are more affordable than others. It's well worth a long road trip to check it out.
I can't say there's anywhere else I'd rather live--in the U.S., anyway. I need lots of natural beauty, a good library system, well-stocked thrift stores, plenty of ethnic markets and restaurants, colleges and a well-educated population, open-minded citizenry and politicians, progressive animal welfare groups...The downside? We can't grow avocados or persimmons. Yet.
ETA: If you liked Austin, you might feel at home in Portland. I've heard they have a similar vibe.
I would LOVE to live in the Pacific Northwest!!Unfortunately our jobs require us to live in the suburbs of Chicago. The Midwest is ------loss for words, extreme weather, many crabby folks and just not inspirational at all. But we travel alot to get away. I haven't been up to Oregon or Washington in years , but would love to visit again!
My wife and I consciously selected our current location, after casting our net worldwide.
We wanted:
- temperate climate
- ocean and mountains, easy access to shore
- clean environment
- productive land and waters
- low population density, villages/hamlets/small towns, not cities
- friendly, educated, open-minded, self-sufficient residents
- good local cultural scene: music, drama, art, ...
- reasonable access to major cities (< 1 day travel)
- significant local food production, good water supply
- no income tax on capital gains, dividends, interest income
- access to high quality medical care
- low crime
As a result, we ended up in the NW corner of the lower-48, in the state of Washington, in a county made up entirely of small islands offshore, tucked in between Vancouver Island and the US mainland. In retrospect, we perhaps should have picked the Canadian Gulf Islands, that may yet happen.
Gardenarian
5-29-13, 12:29pm
I was thinking you would like Oregon/the Portland area too. Dh and I considered moving there from the Bay Area when dd was tiny. We visited and actually did some house hunting, but we really like our neighbors here and decided to stay.
I lived in the SF Bay Area when I was little and my internal compass was always calling me home - after years in Minnesota and Boston. There were plenty of jobs here 24 years ago, both for me and dh. (Not so great now.) I do wish there were more lakes and rainfall, more defined season (I often have to remind myself what time of year it is!) and it is housing prices are ridiculous here.
We are considering moving to dh's home town (a town in Colorado) once dd is older, but I would always keep my cabin here.
goldensmom
5-29-13, 12:31pm
We didn't choose where to live as much as an opportunity arose, I inherited the family farm. We could have sold it but it was established and way more property than I ever thought we'd have so we moved here. At this time in life I am content where I am and when I ask my husband where he'd like to live someday he says 'right here' so it is one less thing I have to think about....but it might be fun to ponder.
It was my first year of law school. I was sitting on the grass in a park during a law school picnic. Enjoying the beautiful day eating a hamburger and watching some friends play softball. It suddenly occurred to me that it was the first week of February. I clearly remember saying to myself "I'm never moving north again". Ended up in a specialty ideally suited to South Florida so I've remained here ever since. It's been 35 years since that beautiful day in the park. I could still show you the exact spot I was sitting in when I had that thought. When my older kids were little girls they used to play in that park. I once showed them the spot and told them the story. They were decidedly unimpressed.
I grew up in one house- outside of Pgh. Pa, college in State college, PA, then my parents moved to Parkersburg, WV- so I spent 2 summers there. When applying for teaching jobs I applied to New Jersey- near beach, Maryland, similar climate and my roomate from college lived in Baltimore and I had an Uncle and aunt in Washington, DC. A county in MD gave me a job- I found an apartment, liked the smaller town, met my husband who was a native of the area, we bought a house we could afford out in the country and are still here 40 years later...We think about moving as we get older- but I like where we are- could use less winter, but could solve that by traveling for a couple weeks in the worst of it. My greater worry is that everything is at least 15 minute drive away so I often think of moving where I could walk to places. The thought of moving...rather overwhelming to me. So job and marriage moved me here.
Our "dream house" that turned nightmare, which was in Dutchess County, NY, was being taken from us by the bank because we hadn't paid our mortgage in a while. It was a very, very sad situation. There was a lot of substance abuse involved. It was the 80s--remember the substance of choice, back then?
So, we told our family and friends that DH and the family had to move further south to be in his new sales territory (partially true), and we got in the car and just drove to New Jersey. We had no idea where to go. My dear MIL was with us, and while we were meandering down Route 1 looking for a house rental, she mentioned that a friend she knew from Macy's lived in a small village called Deans. We happened to see a sign that said "Deans Lane," attached to one of the famous NJ jughandles, so we took it. An auto repair garage pointed us to the nearest real estate agent. I had three small boys and was 8 months pregnant. The wonderful, REALLY perky real estate agent immediately said, "I have JUST the place for you!" She brought us to a house where the family had moved on temporary assignment to Texas. They expected to be back the next year. It was within walking distance to a number of amenities, and best of all, it was on a park adjacent to an elementary school. Having seen my bundle of kids, she knew this was the right place for us, even though the house itself was very 70s (this was in 1985).
We said, "Yeah, this is nice and all, but we can't take the first house we see!" So she said, "Go ahead, look all weekend, but you'll be back."
And we were. My first palpable reaction to the move was when I looked outside my kitchen window and saw children my kids' age at soccer practice. In NY, I had to drive 14 miles to soccer practice. Here was a team in MY BACK YARD!
One year turned to two, two turned to four, and then the owners wanted to sell. We were still not in a good position to buy, but my grandmother-in-law died, and my MIL gave us the down payment out of her mothers savings--accumulated through years of menial work in Scotland and in this country as a receptionist.
Just a month ago, I was sent on assignment to the area where I used to live. I built in enough time to meander around the old neighborhood, where my dreams collided with disaster and shame prevailed. But this is why I believe in something larger--God or Divine Providence, or Higher Power. While I was driving down my old street and saw the house that I had thought at that time was perfect--2 acres, new house, set back on the land across from a horse farm--all I could say was, thank God I wound up where I am. My life would have been completely different, and I am supremely grateful for the path that brought me to where I am right now. I've had an amazing life because I am where I am. It couldn't be better. As they say, "God works in mysterious ways."
I've lived a few places outside the Pac NW...but this is where I grew up and I don't want to live elsewhere, for most of the reasons Bae and JaneV list. I'm certain there is more crime here (PDX metro area) than where he lives, though.
I live 15 minutes from the town I grew up in. I live here because it is closer to my work. If not for that, I'd still live there as it's a charming small town and I love it. My mom still lives there--she's never lived anywhere else in her 87 years.
Most of my moves have been sort of random. I left my home town because there were no jobs (1976 in the Rust Belt) and went to Dallas where I had a friend I could stay with and there were lots of jobs. I married there and we followed his work first to Lousiana and then to Florida. I moved, perforce, after we divorced, and had several other local moves according to if the location was better or the price was better. Then I moved in with my late DH and we moved first to buy on the ocean and then to retire to a less expensive city. Then I moved inland to get more space.
I don't remember ever researching cities as to cost of living or housing, I was just kind of wandering around.
It is a fascinating - how people end up in the locales they do. Currently, people are streaming into Austin every day looking for that special place that the PR factory has churned out. I always thought it was a groovy place for Texas but "it doesn't recognize me anymore." That is to say, we made the decision 30 years ago to move here and it just doesn't feel "right" anymore. All the things that made it special are either gone or too crowded; it's time to move on. Honestly, except for the familiarity factor, I have never felt quite at home here; my roots are elsewhere. I remind myself of that old expression "grow where you're planted" but I still long to be in sight of a mountain or two.
Growing up I used to think it was odd that people stayed where they grew up...now that I am older I think it is a great idea and wish my family was nearer.
Ditto what nswef said. We moved a lot when I was a kid and most of our relatives were at least several states away.
How we picked our current location: DH had 3 job offers and we chose the one with the location where we thought we'd be happiest long-term. It turned out to be an excellent choice. We love it here. Factors we considered:
- crime (our last city had high crime and I never felt very safe)
- weather (fleeing from heat and humidity)
- health (being able to be outside, no extreme allergy factors); also, some cities have better health access than others. In our last city it routinely took weeks to see a physician - not so here.
- schools
- culture
- natural space near our home, and opportunities to be in nature for day trips
We came to Indy on a vacation (strange I know) but husband said it was the only place where people were nice to a young military man during Vietnam. We both had jobs in less than 48 hours. He got a new one and I transferred.
We did not research, choose among others, etc. Just landed here. We did look into moving to Chicago after a few years but it did not work out and I am glad for that now. So 35 years later and here we still are.
rosarugosa
5-29-13, 8:29pm
DH & I both grew up in this town (about 10 miles north of Boston). It is really nice to live near our families and lifelong friends, and there have always been good job opportunities in the city. I can't imagine ever leaving New England, although perhaps moving further from the city could make sense some day. We also have great access to outdoor recreation, culture, healthcare, & lots of fresh seafood :) New Englanders are fortunate to have little in the way of natural disasters, although we do get some winter weather.
I ended up here for work. After enduring the culture shock of moving from New York to the upper Midwest for college, I grew to like the area very much. So much so that, when I graduated (during the bad-business years of the 80s) I ended up back in New York for a couple of years and it no longer felt like home. So I worked at it and ended up getting a few job offers for Minnesota and one for Marshalltown, Iowa. The Marshalltown offer was, prima facie, the best offer/job. But Marshalltown is a one-company town and future career development would have happened only at that company -- or in some other city. I didn't want to chance that. Minneapolis and Saint Paul at the time was headquarters for tech companies like 3M, ADC, Control Data Corporation, Honeywell, Sperry, and Toro, so it seemed a much better bet. That was 30+ years ago and I bet right.
Winters here are tough. You really need some sort of winter activity (inside or out) or the ability to say "Weather's really bad out today? Nevermind then." Summers generally are nice, though, since I'm no fan of the heat.
The good points: it's a short distance to rural Minnesota from anywhere in the Twin Cities. People here generally are well-educated, even out of the public schools. While the state is nowhere near as progressive as it used to be, it's still toward the front of most other states. There is effort put toward keeping the environment clean, local politics are pretty spotless, and there is much less of the "us vs. them" (gated communities, slums, etc.) than in lots of other cities. People seem to like it here -- they grow up here and they tend not to leave for long periods of time. Taxes are relatively high, but so are services, so I don't mind that so much. Housing prices are not the cheapest around, but, frankly, you're buying a stronger house than code most other places requires. There is a thriving arts community, pro teams in all four sports (if that kind of thing is important to you), lots of green space even within city downtowns, and, at least in Minneapolis/Saint Paul, enough room to be different (and have some company doing it).
I've never seriously considered leaving. Well, there's a week or so in February when I wonder, but that's just winter talking. :~)
Blackdog Lin
5-29-13, 9:42pm
What a great question larknm! Very interesting, and y'all have great stories about moving around, and why.
As for myself: well, I was born in metropolitan Los Angeles CA, but got transitioned to small-town KS at the age of 5. And then I.....stayed in small-town Kansas. And then my Daddy, in '75, wanted me to go to college in Santa Barbara but.....I stayed in small-town Kansas. And then in '78, when DH and I had been married only 2 years and we had a chance to move to the suburbs of the "big city" and get jobs making more money.....we stayed in our small-town Kansas situation. (my gosh, it gives me shudders, the thought of what we would have ended up as had we done that move. We were poised to be perfect yuppies.) (shudder.) And you know, then we bought a house, a cheap big house.....and then we bought a better one.....and by then we were happily situated in a hometown situation, where your child(ren) play in the neighborhood with kids that you know their families, and what kinds of families they are, and you're poorish but comfortable, and your finally realize that this life is simple-living at it's best.....
I ended up staying in my hometown. 50 years now and counting. I'm in a minority now, aren't I?
I live in ST. Louis because that's were I got a job, but I fell for this city and for nearly 25 years refused to consider moving anywhere else.
Lately, though, I am entertaining the notion of a move. We'll see. If we get any more summers like we had last year, that awful drought and beastly hot weather for 8 weeks straight--I may well move.
I love cities and would have a hard time being away from one, but I'd be happy in a lively college town of 50,000 - 100,000. Lately also I've been salivating over small historic touristy places, but I know those are tricky to live in. I do want ethnic diversity but I'd prefer that the dominant minority culture not be ghetto. I am growing tired of that here. So perhaps a south of the border minority culture would be fine, I did enjoy Las Cruces when I lived there. We are also discussing moving to the land of tea party politics and Republicans: New Hampshire and that is back to the climate issue. But dang, the towns there are tiny, there is only one decent size city. If things get warmer here I'm outta here but will hate giving up my beloved city architecture.
Today I am besotted with Hermann, Missouri a tiny place of 2,000 with fab Victorian architecture, a view fromt he top of the town that loos like Europe, and a train to St. Louis. But I'll get over that, I usually do get over these village crushes.
25 years ago I thought that Portland was the golden city and always fantasized about moving there. The last time I went job hunting I went out to the PNW and thought it was great but didn't get a job. I ended up here and this was the right place for me. I could still move to the PNW, though, that where the major iris 'n lily growers reside. I do want a big plot of land where I can do some hybrizing, but that doesn't really have to be out in the country, a group of city lots would do the trick
...
25 years ago I thought that Portland was the golden city and always fantasized about moving there. The last time I went job hunting I went out to the PNW and thought it was great but didn't get a job. I ended up here and this was the right place for me. I could still move to the PNW, though, that where the major iris 'n lily growers reside. I do want a big plot of land where I can do some hybrizing, but that doesn't really have to be out in the country, a group of city lots would do the trick
Big plots of land around here are full of pesky trees. Not to mention liberals. But we'd love to have you, as long as you leave the Roundup behind.
I know you love fixers, and I have a big lot....
When I decided to move to my current area (Chicagoland) 17 years ago, it was a fairly easy decision. I had a college friend who lived here, so I would be able to stay with her for a few weeks until I found a place (she offered that when I said I wanted to move after a weekend visit). There were a lot more jobs here than where I was from (Metro Detroit). Three, I wanted to put a lot of distance between me and the family.
It was a good decision.
I was likely conceived somewhere in or around British Columbia or Seattle, born on the Oregon Coast, and raised there and in Portland. I'm happier around water, and I was immediately charmed by the Puget Sound when I first saw it. Mountains! Ferries! Cold, vast inky-blue water! I visited the Seattle area on holidays, felt immediately comfortable in Bellevue, and took the opportunity for a company-paid transfer when a new office opened in Seattle. I feel very much rooted and at home here on the Eastside, but I may yet move back to Oregon for practical reasons. I've been eying this condo:
http://www.johnlscott.com/propertydetail.aspx?IS=1&ListingID=301629469
Seattle probably is the only area I would consider in a relocation. I've visited more than a dozen times over the years and I do love the area. We've visited Portland a couple of times and it was nice. But, for some reason, there's an affinity with Seattle. Maybe someday; DW is a native Minnesotan and hates the cold. But not right now.
We loved the PNW area when we visited a few years back but noticed overall that people seemed kind of reserved, ie not openly friendly like they are in the south. Or did we just imagine that? Does the lack of sun ever get to you? At this age, climate is in the top three important list if/when we move again. I love the idea of all that lush moisture but need the sunshine too.
The PNW reserve is true, and legendary. I fit right in. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Seattle%20Freeze I'm guessing there are more bookish introverts here than elsewhere.
I've never lived in a sunny clime; at this point, all sunshine means to me is yard work. I can see how more would be nice. The weather here is very moderate, and I like that.
ETA: We were settled, in part, by northern Europeans. This quote I pulled out of my collection makes me smile:
“It’s considered a right by Danish people not to be talked to.” Danish researcher explaining to Morley Safer the finer points of his national psyche (in a report on the happiest people on earth)
We loved the PNW area when we visited a few years back but noticed overall that people seemed kind of reserved, ie not openly friendly like they are in the south. Or did we just imagine that? Does the lack of sun ever get to you? At this age, climate is in the top three important list if/when we move again. I love the idea of all that lush moisture but need the sunshine too.
Oh no...you got The Seattle Chill....I like this blogger's gist of it:
http://therestlessnest.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/seattle-chill/
Try Portlandia instead. They're just weird.
Interesting...I might feel more at home in the PNW as I am naturally reserved and of Scandinavian heritage. I still like friendly though...and sunshine. Can one grow nice gardens there?
Big plots of land around here are full of pesky trees. Not to mention liberals. But we'd love to have you, as long as you leave the Roundup behind.
I know you love fixers, and I have a big lot....
Trees and liberals I can deal with if I've got the other stuff I need! haha.. But really, I'm over that Portland obsession. I interviewed in Corvalis which was sleepier than I expected, but I could get used to that now, I suppose.
But we are done fixing up houses! I think. I don't believe DH would take on another major rehab, although big cosmetics would not be a problem.
[QUOTE=iris lily;143700].... It does have a good public library...[quote]
why yes! it did back then as well. Not up to Midwest standards but it was ok for the west coast. ;) That library director back then went on to head up Seattle Public Library system, a pretty big deal. Sadly, she was unable to choose appropriately among job candidates. :D
[QUOTE=iris lily;143700].... It does have a good public library...[quote]
why yes! it did back then as well. Not up to Midwest standards but it was ok for the west coast. ;) That library director back then went on to head up Seattle Public Library system, a pretty big deal. Sadly, she was unable to choose appropriately among job candidates. :D
Jane, I overwrote your post above in error, so sorry!
DH's job brought us to the area and we loved it. I have everything important for now so not ready to make any moves anywhere. When the time is right, I will have to consider moving from the farm in the country to a more urban centre but not sure where. I expect that will unfold at the appropriate time as everything else in my life has done so far.
SteveinMN
5-30-13, 10:07pm
Interesting...I might feel more at home in the PNW as I am naturally reserved and of Scandinavian heritage. I still like friendly though...and sunshine. Can one grow nice gardens there?
You want Scandinavian reserve? We've got it right here in Minnesota! :D And lots of sunshine (even when it's -10 degrees out). And some very nice gardens (courtesy of global warming, we've actually moved up a Zone in this part of the state)!
I chose the PNW because it's so beautiful. I was in Seattle briefly, then followed a lover to Lopez island, and after 17 years, moved back to the city to get my MA. I've stayed for love, work, & the community I've built here, but DH & I would both like to move back to a rural community... except that we'd miss the things we love here... I love the multicultural neighborhood I am in, and access to all the amazing urban amenities, like the arts.
I don't experience the so-called "Seattle freeze", because as a high extrovert, I just make friends! My introverted husband likes the space he gets here. We have a sweet home & gorgeous garden. It would be hard to leave my garden.
<ok, why did the photo of our garden load sideways?!?>
(Taken from 2nd story window...)
growing up, my family always moved with the job and made a decent life where ever we were. I think this was a useful skill, but it was a totally different process for DH when we realized that we needed to make a choice, rather than have a choice made.
after university, DH got a job and i got into a graduate school pretty close. we picked a place that was an easy commuting spot from both, plus also was affordable to us. it wasn't a bad thing -- because like when i was growing up, we discovered how to make it our home.
during that time, we learned a lot about ourselves. we learned about what we liked and didn't like about where we lived. we travelled and visited different cities, so even though a city might "look great on paper" (ie, those "best cities in the US!" articles), they might not actually be right for *us*.
we discovered that we loved harbor cities, that we needed a place with a strong, healthy film community, that we prefer small cities to large ones, and that we prefer certain "paces of life" over others. ultimately, that narrowed us down to wellington, sydney, and los angeles (because it seemed a better fit for us than NYC).
we were afraid, honestly, of both NYC and LA -- being big, overwhelming places for us. now that we live over in "risky decisions land" of both being an expat and an entrepreneur, we realize that NYC and LA are *totally fine and do-able* but we were just chicken. Now, we're like, yeah, we could live there no worries. I would prefer LA to NY in some ways, and prefer NY to LA in other ways. I like the "old world" city feel of NY, but the population density is a bit much. On the flip side, i love the sun and 'fun' of LA (beach life!), but the sprawling city is a bit annoying.
anyway, we chose to be where we are, and it's absoltuely great. I *could* live in NY or LA (or philly, pittsburgh, chicago, san fran), but i love living where we live now. it's so great for us in every way, honestly.
You want Scandinavian reserve? We've got it right here in Minnesota!
My grandfather started out in that region-Redwood Falls.
Corvallis does not = Portland.
When I was a small child in the late 60's, my family used to drive to eastern Washington from Seattle a few times a year on highway 10 through North Bend, as the new interstate 90 wasn't built until the early 70's. Every time we went through, I would think that this is where I want to live when I'm a grownup. It's just a beautiful spot, as it's where the Cascade mountains begin. So, my husband and I have been living here since 1997. We chose a beautiful two acres in the middle of a forest. I think it is just about the most gorgeous place on earth!
Nice, AnneM! I agree, the area and the drive between North Bend and Wenatchee is the best of the state.
Moved around a lot in my life but ended up living in SoCal for both my work and ex hubbys work. Family was there also so stayed much longer than planned. Actually hate it there but chose to stay once I quit my job - although moved to a nicer ski, mountain, and lake resort town - so I could be near elderly parents. Once they passed away I stayed and sis and I own a house together by the beach. She works and can house and pet sit for me so I can travel several months a year. Still don't like the area but there are a lot of great recreational activities you can do year round so that's the trade off. I'll eventually move somewere I like better I hope . Maybe after spending a few years travelling overseas. Probably end up on the east coast - Maine - or the PNW or maybe Europe.
Well, I was born abut 10 miles from where I live and DH grew up within 30 miles after the age of 5. However, we each lived elsewhere for some time: MA, TX for me, and ID, FL and HI for him. We both moved back to northern CO (before we met) then, for reasons still murky to me and especially DH, moved to AZ for a time. What a mistake that was for us! We managed to move back to CO after 3 years, and have been back for a year and a half. It's been paradise! The job I found means an hour commute (or double that in snow!) but honestly it's mostly the amount of time it takes rather than the actual being in the car that annoys me. Every day is beautiful! If it's clear then I can see all the high peaks of Rocky Mountain National Park plus sometimes all the way down to Pikes Peak (about 100 miles away!). If it's snowing, the snow is beautiful on the trees. If it rains, it's green. I see all kinds of wildlife including elk, deer, foxes, raptors, prairie dogs, and more. I have not gone one day without seeing a bicyclist either, even in blizzards or high wind. When I'm not working there's 1000s of mountains to climb, and 1000s of people who love the outdoors as much as I do to learn from, teach, and enjoy one another's company. As for the weather-what it loses in predictability it makes up for in variation. Last spring we had drought and heat: good for climbing and biking, bad for fires. This year we had lots of snow, to the point that the ashes and oaks were still not leafed out much last week. Temps range from -20F to 105F, so there will likely be a great time of year and even a great day here and there: a few cool days in summer and a few warm days in winter. It's sunny most days but there's enough cloudy days to make you appreciate the sunny ones.
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