Shadowmoss's Struggle with Simple Living

[shadowmoss]

Subtitled: Ok, now you have it, so why does it feel so icky.

Not really a family thing, but it is a relationship thing, with myself. In the finishing thread it came up that I'm not in Honduras anymore and am now living in Phoenix working a new job. This new situation has me struggling with a lot of issues that I thought I already knew the answers to. The Short story is that on January 31 I was cut from the contract in Honduras. I was ready to leave, but had planned on working at least a couple of months more to get savings built up. I got back to the States on February 15. My stuff got shipped out the day prior. I had it shipped to my storage units (yes, 2...) in Missouri as that is where my Mom is and I had no idea where I would be when it finally got here. In fact, it arrived a week ago and Mom supervised the loading of everything into the storage unit. In Missouri. I'm in Phoenix.

There were a couple of crazy months where my contractor boss attempted to have me make a transition to a different type job. The supervisor on the ground there (Chicago) decided I had to do the manual labor on top of tall buildings with the guys in the middle of winter for 16 hr days 6 days a week. I'm a geek, not a laborer. At 59 yo, I was not going to attempt to go from a lifetime of desk jobs to keeping up with fit younger males just to keep a job. So, I left. Luckily I got this current job a week later as I had been sending out resumes all along.

So, that is the background. Since I've been back I lived out of my Jeep Wrangler for most of that time. The Jeep isn't allowed to rent a trailer since it is a soft top (don't really understand that...), so I couldn't even just bring along a U-Haul trailer of stuff. I am in a 1 br apartment with a very small subset of my stuff. My reaction has been strange even to me. I miss my stuff! After years of having 3 of everything I suddenly don't have the simplest of things. My cooking choices were a plastic plate I picked up a WalMart or a stainless saucepan I got at the same time. Can't microwave a metal saucepan (microwave came with the apartment), can't cover the plate. I only had my one bath towel and 1 dish rag. Ok, I can cook one pot meals in the saucepan, but I have nothing to store the leftovers in to take in to lunch at work.

I have no money because my house in Nashville needed renovations (deadbeat tenant had parts condemned...) before I can sell it. I used all the savings from Honduras to pay for that. Now it turns out that the contractor friend who did the work for me decided he knew more than the codes folks and didn't do the work to code. They can make me redo it, and I don't have any money left to do that. And I can't sell the house. This is all still in negotiation.

So, I have a good job, but am not making nearly as much as I was. The storage units cost me $1k/year. The house is $325/mo plus insurance and property tax. And I'm in a nice apartment with reasonable rent that is 2.5 miles from work. I could bike it, but a bike costs money. So I drive the Jeep. Every decision I have made attempting to live a simple life seems to have complicated things more, and the part that is simpler - the few possessions I have with me - seems to be more frustrating than freeing.

This turned into a whine session, and I'm sorry. Truly I do spend most of my days giving THANKS for what I have. I'm not in a 3rd world country anymore. I have a job. I just seem to not be making good decisions somewhere along the line. For context, I joined this board when it was just one long list of topics. I'm thinking 3 versions ago? I'll have to look at my blog to see what year it was. So it's not like I haven't had examples and such. I read YMOL back then as well.

Not really looking for advice, although any offered will be gratefully considered. Figgie Girl just said she would be interested in hearing how I'm struggling with simple living. She asked the time and I built her a watch. :)

[treehugger]

I know you didn't ask for advice, and I don't really have any, except to maybe improve your immediate situation. Do a "triage" and figure out exactly what (small, inexpensive) things you need to do to make your living situation better and less stressful. Sounds like a few more cooking implements (try a thrift store) would help a lot. Have enough cooking utensils to prepare food doesn't mean you aren't living a simple life. Maybe there are some things your mom could find easily and send you (parcel post is pretty inexpensive) that would make day to day living easier/nicer/better.

I have found that the bigger, broader issues can wait/sort themselves out later, as long as I have a daily routine that works and lessens rather than creates stress.

Best wishes,

Kara

[shadowmoss]

Yeah, the first post was just to bring folks up to speed, in case anyone is interested. I think of this as my hierarchy of needs. The first shopping trip was for toilet paper and a shower curtain. Next was a wastebasket and towels. I have now gotten a covered glass casserole, a pitcher, a glass plate and silverware. Next up I think will be a skillet and spatula. My frustration is that I have really nice waterless cookware that I spent more than $1K for 25 years ago that I love, in storage in MO. Also the frustration that I again have money on my credit cards. I spend a lot of time weighing spending money vs. inconvenience.

I have had almost a week off work to switch shifts. I am close to some amazing country that I have wanted to see for a long time. I sit at home because I don't know that I should spend the money on gas. I'll work it out, but it is hard to decide what is the right choice. The house in Nashville I bought as a foreclosure, which was touted as the way to get housing cheap. It has been a money pit from day 1. It is just frustrating sometimes to know what is the right long-term solution. And again, it sounds like I'm whining. Really, I'm just trying to take it slowly and start making better choices. I've been at this for at least 15 years, trying to simplify my life. Seems I should be further along than this.

[Kestra]

Seems like a lot of that is bad luck, rather than wrong choices. You do the best you can at the time and unfortunately the universe doesn't always give you the right result.
How much stuff is in storage in MO? I'm wondering if there's any way to get someone to bring it out, who is driving your way anyhow. I know at least here, people advertise for rideshares all the time and isn't there supposed to be some website for private courier services - if someone is driving there anyhow? I can't recall the details. Of course you'd have to trust people with your stuff. But losing stuff is always a risk. Perhaps a friend of a friend could do it.

As much as many of us crave a life with less stuff, I can see how having too little can be frustrating. A good reminder for me, and others I'm sure. I do dream of having nothing and then only replacing stuff I actually need as I need it. Seems easier than giving stuff away once its acquired.

The house thing seems the hardest to deal with. Hard to solve that without money and not being in the same city. Maybe Mr. Money Mustache would want a project. Not completely kidding here. Have you seen his blog? (Edited to add - actually, I'm quite sure I recall seeing you on the forums there, so silly question.) You never know what might happen when you throw things out into the internet ether. I think sometimes just putting a problem out there can bring back solutions, even if that's not the intention.

Anyhow, keep us updated. Best of luck.

[shadowmoss]

Hmmm. I may check with arebelspy there and see what ideas he has. He was very nice to me the couple of times I pinged him about Las Vegas. I would make a great rental for someone with better luck in that area than I, and I can let it go for really cheap.

[lhamo]

Call up Dave Ramsey and see if he'll buy it off you (though I bet he is a pretty tough negotiator...)

Sorry you are going through this, Paula. I remember how stressful it was when we relocated to Beijing and we didn't know what my job situation was going to be long term. In situations like that, you need to watch your budget, but don't nickel and dime yourself to the extent that you are miserable. It won't help you adapt to the new situation. Can you give yourself a little extra budget for gas so you can go see some of those places you want to see? that might help you settle in and feel more like AZ is home.

lhamo

[fidgiegirl]

shadowmoss, thank you for sharing. I am glad you posted.

One thing that strikes me is how this isn't your choice, and that seems to be the dividing line between voluntary simplicity and plain old poverty. It's just how things have played out - I don't know that you should be berating yourself, for example, for having made "bad choices." You're doing the best you can.

The house - ugh!! Carrying on with the MMM theme, I wonder if there is a Nashville-based poster there who is just itching to get into the rental market and yours would be the perfect little in? Perhaps a bigger post than just a message to one member? Although you have to have tough skin to post over there . . . I'm not so brave most of the time except with the most mundane of questions! So maybe that's not the best idea at this time.

[shadowmoss]

Since arebelspy is a moderator, a landlord, and we've exchanged emails already on another subject, I'm thinking he will know if it is in good taste to say anything (selling...), and how to approach it, etc. I have tough skin. It truly is just the internet.

[try2bfrugal]

Sorry to hear about your troubles shadowmoss. Maybe you could ask for advice on what to do about the rental on the biggerpockets or fatwallet forums. It sounds like you need to sell the house if you are not underwater.

Garage sales might be some cheap entertainment and a way to build up a set of basic living possessions for the new apartment for now. Do you have any meetups local for hiking and sightseeing? Maybe you could find someone to car pool with for activities.

[Lainey]

shadowmoss, you might recall I'm in Phoenix, so please IM me and at least we can meet up for a drink - my treat! I'm in the SE valley but can drive anywhere in Phx metro area, so whatever's convenient for you would be fine with me.

[fidgiegirl]

I have a question about the house - around here, if a home isn't up to code, it can still be sold unless there is something really dangerous. However you mentioned it being condemned . . . so . . . long question short, does it HAVE to get up to code before it can go on the market?

[shadowmoss]

What was condemned was the front porch, a 70' deck that was 15' off the ground at the front. That has been torn off. There is now a nice new beautiful 6'wide walkway to the middle of the house front door. However, by contractor friend didn't contact the inspector at the required times during construction, and the method he used isn't legal in my county. I could sell it by disclosing the issue, but no one can get financing, and if I try the buyer could try to make me fix it in a much more expensive manner than I'm hoping to find.

I went and bought a Brita filter yesterday. I can get used to the rest of the taste of the tap water after filtration. So, one hurdle down with only a little money spent. Now, on to figuring out food to sustain me for 12 hr shifts. Reading the food threads now.

[jennipurrr]

Do they have job opportunities for you in Nashville? Would it be an option to move there and live in the house for a while, saving up the money to make the repairs per the county codes?

[shadowmoss]

At the moment I'm committed to Phoenix. I just started this job. No, no openings in this company in Phoenix, closest I might someday come if Huntsville, AL. Mostly my thoughts are about how I'm reacting to not having my 'stuff' with me. The house has been a thorn for at least 5 years now. Luckily the payment is small enough that I have been able to carry it. The primary problems in my life right now are that a lot of the items I need are in storage in Missouri. I'm in Phoenix. The storage units and the house issues mean that after 2.5 years of not really needing to think about money I suddenly find I'm living paycheck to paycheck again. In Honduras I could splurge and it still didn't make a blip on my cash flow to paying off debts. Here, that is not the case. So, I'm constantly weighing spending money vs. keeping my belt tight a la Mr Money Mustache because I am in a 'debt emergency'. Selling the house would ease that a lot. However, that isn't going to happen any time soon it seems. I'm going to put together a post for over there on the house to see if anyone has any insight on the house with the idea being maybe someone will see the post and decide to buy it. :) Also, maybe to show that buying a foreclosure and setting yourself up as a landlord isn't quite the silver bullet for everyone that some there would seem to think. Mostly I'm just moving on with my life and trying to make good decisions. So far my 'good decisions' haven't gotten me where I thought I wanted to be.

In case anyone here would be interested, here is a link to the writeup on the house with the realtor's contact information:
http://www.zillow.com/h/5395-Swindle-Rd-Whites-Creek-TN-37189-41050536/

[lhamo]

Do you have some money that you could pay for a truck to get your stuff to AZ? I'm thinking that maybe if you could find a college student who needs a way to get home for the summer, you could possibly pay the cost for them to rent a truck and drive your stuff to you. A bit risky, maybe. But you could try to find someone through a church or a Christian college, or something. Totally wild idea, but who knows.

Or do any of those pod companies do pick up and deliver? You could hire someone to pack your stuff into a pod, and then have it delivered. Or even fly back yourself and pack it over a weekend -- not cost saving at the outset, but if you saved yourself months of storage fees and replacement costs, maybe worth it.

Hope you can work through this all soon. SOunds really stressful. Glad you at least have a job, but I guess that is somewhat of a mixed blessing with the logistical issues it presents.

[ToomuchStuff]

If your mom can't drive out to visit you, can she send you a care package of your stuff (hopefully it is labeled)? That way, you could get some basics back (kitchenware, etc).
Now you know why people say, using friends tends to be bad business. If you did it without a contract, your probably out of luck (and have a grudge), if you did it with a contract, you could probably get them to fix it (it will be their dime, unless bankruptcy, etc) but still will lose the friendship.