lots of shopping,

[Zoe Girl]

If anyone knows the full saga I need to declare bankruptcy in order to protect myself from a 2nd mortgage issue that includes my ex-husband. Long story that is well documented elsewhere. Then I got a large tax refund, and my choices are to pay it into the bankruptcy which would add up to more than I was going to pay towards the 2nd and my very minor debt, or take care of all the things I have been putting off that needed attention. Wow it has been hard to switch gears and spend money. (My personal ethic says I will still make the same total payment to the 2nd as the deal I had worked out so I am not running up a bill that I will then blow off, I am paying the maximum on my one credit card as well). I am focused on anything I would have to pay for in the next year and would be at risk for not being able to do because of my savings and credit being gone.

So I got a lot of the work needed on my car done. Then I replaced my broken lap top, I use the one I have through work but that is really not okay. Over the summer they can take it back. I got a refurbished Mac laptop and a good deal on it. I also got the Office for Mac professional for $10!!! It was through my employee discount program.

Next I needed to replace a few household things, like my kitchen table. It is an antique that my brother helped me with. It should drop the sides down but we had to rig it permanently up, and then it is starting to crack. In any case I got a beautiful table from Ikea for my tiny house with 4 chairs that are the right size, and I did something super nice for myself and am paying for it to be delivered instead of trying to haul it myself.

I had to stop because it feels so weird. Most of what I really need I am still trying to get the best deal on, looking for local business or eco-friendly, and thinking about long term. I am getting tomato cages because every year I increase the garden, I am going to get a new small carpet cleaner as well to take good care of the house. I feel good about having things taken care of, the car with so many things repaired, the house not falling apart.

It is okay to enjoy this, right?

[SteveinMN]

ZG, you're spending money, but you're still doing it in a measured, considerate way. If you were buying $6,000 shower curtains (http://money.cnn.com/2002/09/23/pf/saving/q_tyco/) just to spend the money, people might view things differently.

[ToomuchStuff]

No it is never OK to enjoy life.>8) Sarcasm
I understand the guilt and frustration you feel. You have to make the best of any situation and this is no different. If it were me, I would probably give part of it to the bankruptcy attorney, and do what your doing with part, to show that your making an effort. (and it would personally, lessen my guilty feelings) I don't know how handy you are, but I would make sure I have a very basic toolkit. (I've done things like garage sale vacuums, because most just need a good cleaning)
Is your offer, still on the table for the 2nd? If so, DON'T spend that amount yet. You don't want Murphy to set in and them to accept, then go after your ex for some small amount, that his lawyer might tell him, is MUCH less then it would cost to sue you for. (it could happen)
It isn't over, until it is over.

[Zoe Girl]

Too Much, the offer is on the table but without getting any response from my ex about suing me I have to do the bankruptcy. That is the whole point, if I have this money in savings and declare BK they will have me give them the entire amount (over time) plus a reasonable payment over time adding up to much more than the settlement. There is no response from my ex so without anything in writing he is able to sue me at any time. I finally got a 'yes I received your email' from his lawyer and nothing else, They have done this before which I consider financial abuse. I really needed to do this last week but I could not get it done with my work week, just moving money to savings or otherwise putting it aside would not work. I usually save my tax return to take care of things like car repairs and this year it was more than I expected. Maybe the universe is telling me that dining room table really did suck, lol

Steve, shower curtains like that exist? Who knew, that is insane. I spent less than that on my cars, cash out the door.

We did get the kitchen table and chairs delivered but 3 hours after the end of the window of time!! I was pissed. I went for a run, sat in the park and meditated, kept in touch with my son who was home waiting, finally I just had to go home and they show up at 8 pm, no apologies, and never a phone call. Ikea is refunding our delivery charges.