I want my own computer :(

[fidgiegirl]

I am fighting a totally consumeristic desire lately - I want my own computer.

I do not need my very OWN computer. I share a laptop with my DH, and we each have iPads through work, and we each have iPhones! There is no way we are Internet-less, EVER!! There is absolutely no reason I need my own computer.

But I want to keep my computer perfect and just the way I WANT IT. :laff: And to never have to rush to finish something so that DH can use it, or whatever.

We are both old school and prefer the computer to the touch devices for most Internet-ing. We both really like having a keyboard, and it is easier to do some of what we do on the computer, although I am getting into some of my regular computer-y stuff (which could be a whole additional thread about timesucks) on the iPad.

[Jilly]

Just get one. I read something about Windows 8.1 being out, and whilst it is a free download, it made me wonder if the computers that already have Windows 8 might be discounted somehow. Probably not, but you should still get your own computer if you want one.

I think that I am safe asking you this, hoping I do not get blasted to heck and back, but why should there be so much angst about buying something? Whether you need or just want something, if you can afford it, and you do whatever research you feel necessary, then you should be able to get whatever it is without having to go all guilt-ridden about it.

I totally understand about being frugal and using all of our resources to their best advantage, but I really do not understand all of the chatter about consumerism or being too spendy/consumery/unfrugal/unworthy when you want more than a roof over your head and food on the table. I feel weird and in complete wonderment when I read stuff like being too commercial or too much of a consumer or a wage slave or some darn thing.

I could be wrong, and most likely am because most everyone here seems to be nice people, but it also seems that people sometimes share things and are worried that they will be judged for some particular choice they are making. But, like I said, I could be wrong. Would not be the first time, or the last.

There absolutely is a reason for you to go out and buy a computer of your own, as it will make your life easier...and, you want and can afford it.

[JaneV2.0]

I second that...I remember when a computer really was a huge expense, but those days are gone. And remember--you can't take it with you!

[ToomuchStuff]

I understand the want, and I see some potential upside (back up to the other pc, any critical files), but I wonder if you could do something with Windows or Mac, that Linux has been capable of for a long time; Multiseat? Add some more memory, a USB keyboard and mouse, another video card and monitor, and two people use the CPU at the same time.

A couple of resources to understand the idea:
http://wiki.gentoo.org/wiki/Multiseat
Old article from around the first time I learned it wasn't just a remote desktop, multiuser machine
http://linuxgazette.net/124/smith.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiseat_configuration

[Tussiemussies]

I have always had my own computer. I agree with Jilly simple living isn't about deprivation. You have a want and if you can afford it budget wise why not. I think you would get it in a minute -- I sense you are feeling guilty?

[herbgeek]

I can't imagine sharing a computer for long periods of time. They really aren't that expensive anymore for low end machines. My laptop was @$300 in 2011-less than an iPad.

[Rosemary]

DH and I have had our own computers for years. Check out the Dell Outlet for great prices (with same warranty as built-to-order computers). We ordered new laptops last year and I think they were in the range of $380-400 -- less than we would pay over the course of a year for a SmartPhone (which we don't have), and less than the equipment cost of some tablets.

[nswef]

We bought a tablet when my husband became more computer literate. He still uses the main computer but it is generally my domain I need a keyboard. He's loving the voice part of the tablet- it works most of the time so he doesn't have to type anything in. I'd say get one if you want it.

[Kestra]

If it makes you feel better about buying just one computer, we have 6 computers plus 3 small devices between the 2 of us. Yeah, it's crazy, but we use all but 1 of them.
That's a shared computer in the living room, DH's gaming computer in his bedroom, my work computer (company owned) in my bedroom, my netbook that we use for portability and I use for my writing, DH's new laptop he takes to work, DH's old laptop (not used right now), my ipod, and DH's ipad and smartphone.
We like our tech and can afford it. I try not to buy things I won't use, but other than that it's a free-for-all on tech purchases.
I've had my own computer since I was 17 and I could never go back.

[AmeliaJane]

I have both a computer and tablet, and use both on a daily basis (not counting my computer at work). One other suggestion--I have a Bluetooth keyboard that I use when I am traveling to say a conference and using the iPad as my main device. Now granted, the tablets will not do everything the computer will, which could be an issue (although the gap is closing fast) but if it's just the keyboard issue that might address your problem for less money.

[Alan]

If it makes you feel better about buying just one computer, we have 6 computers plus 3 small devices between the 2 of us.
That's my household as well. We currently have three desktops, three laptops, two blade servers and two ipads, and there's just the two of us.

In fairness, we've pared down a bit from this home network diagram from a dozen or so years ago: 1289

[fidgiegirl]

Ha! Well, you've given me some food for thought. One, that I could buy something other than a Mac. We are Mac people, but of course I don't have to have a Mac. BUT I don't know if I could ask DH to use a PC, either. He only knows Mac and it would be more of a pain for than sharing a computer to have him switch to PC.

I am thinking of trying to stretch what I do with my iPad so I can pick it up more often. But since it's issued by work, I hate to do too much of some of the things I'd like to try.

Will let you know what we decide!

[catherine]

But if you're already sharing a Mac, can't one of you get a Mac and the other just get a PC? It does take a little adjustment to transition from Mac to PC in terms of getting used to file management mostly, but no reason to have either/or. PCs are a LOT cheaper than Macs now. OTOH, as others have said, if you can afford the second Mac, go for it. Or get a desktop Mac which is a little cheaper than laptop. ETA, actually I just checked, and I don't think the iMac is cheaper than a laptop--seems the MacBook Air would be the cheapest you could do.

[Miss Cellane]

I can't imagine sharing a computer. Well, actually, I can, and that makes me not want to.

If you really want a computer of your own, discuss this with your husband. Work out a plan to save for one. If you really are a Mac person, just save a bit longer and get the Mac. If you don't, one of you will always feel as if they have the "inferior" PC computer.

A computer is a tool. As technology increases what we can do with our computers, they are becoming more and more personalized. And that means they are becoming a personal tool, not a shared tool. The lower cost, compared to years ago, doesn't hurt, either.

My brother and SIL have 3 kids. They have the following: Brother's laptop, SIL's laptop (provided by work, but she's supposed to take it home to work at home), the kids' shared desktop, the oldest kid's laptop, a shared laptop for the younger two (ages 8 and 11), two tablets for the older kid, and iPod Touches for the two younger kids (the oldest kid can't really use a Touch due to some fine motor control issues). Plus the backup desktop tower, the 12 year old iMac that runs the surround sound system and holds their music library and the old laptop that I think does nothing but store their digital photo collection.

My other brother is single and has 4 desktop PCs, all running a different version of Windows, two laptops, two tablets and an iPod Touch.

Two adults in the same house with their own computers is not over the top.

[catherine]

Here's an option for cheaper Macs (http://www.smalldog.com/macs-refurbished/)--used/refurbished.

I love Small Dog Electronics in VT, and am happy to give them a plug.

[SteveinMN]

There's a reason they call them personal computers. ;)

Personally, I would not bother with the hassle of introducing Windows into a very Apple household just to save a few bucks. And it really is a few bucks. Go price laptops from the likes of Sony and Toshiba and other first-tier PC vendors and you'll find the prices for equivalent models really are not that different. And for the money you'll save, you'll have to learn Windows, keep it virus- and malware-free, and possibly even license some software in duplicate (because you're crossing platforms or using apps exclusive to one platform or another). If you can entertain the idea of another computer at all without wrecking the budget, I would not waste time with Windows in your particular situation.

There are ways to have more than one user access the same Mac. But they're a bit convoluted, each user still has to have basic hardware (screen, keyboard, etc.), and no one will be able to tell you ahead of time what will work properly and what won't (for instance, some software only binds to the account being used on the "server" Mac, not one that is connected from elsewhere, so both of you could not use the app at the same time). IMHO, you'd be far better off with even a refurbished or used Mac -- maybe give that one to the less-frequent/non-power user.

You might also consider getting an iPad and a Bluetooth keyboard. Even an iPad 4 (one generation back) will run iOS7 (which isn't even released yet); I wouldn't go further back than that. If having your own keyboard and screen works for you and the iPad runs the software you want, that can be a very viable alternative.

[shadowmoss]

Yeah, one person household here and I have 2 laptops, 2 netbooks, a tablet and a 6" screen phone. I use at least 3 of them daily, and I really, really miss my desktop that is still in storage having been shipped separately from Honduras. The only thing that keeps me from ordering another desktop from Dell Outlet to use until I can get the desktop here isn't the money, just the embarrassment of having so many computers just for myself.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I have my own computer it's a good one, but it's really the only device I have (ok a dumb phone, a digital camera, and a very old backup computer I could use in a computer emergency - but wouldn't want to).

I don't believe in consumerism, I think about the environmental costs and usually decide to make do with what I've got (really to the point that I sometimes experience personal "pent up demand" when I realize everything has been neglected too much and I NEED TO BUY stuff NOW!). But that said I do live in this world, not in a mud hut sleeping on the floor with no connectivity at all. And if I determined say another device was important enough, I'd get one. My threshold for making purchases is pretty darn high, but it doesn't mean I never purchase anything.

[Gardenarian]

I feel your pain. I share my netbook with my dd.

My husband is a Mac user and has EVERYTHING - iMac, couple of laptops, iPad, touch. He's thinking of getting a new laptop and passing his old one on to dd. I can't wait!

Those Macs do require quite an investment - not like a $200 netbook - but they seem to run forever, virus-free.

[redfox]

Yeah, we have an iMac desktop, a MacBook Pro, an ipad & two iPhones. Two adults. When DH got his laptop, I gave my smaller macbook to my mom, since I have an ipad. She's 86, and has the MacBook, an ipad & a desktop iMac!

[Tradd]

Fidgie, get your own computer. I've never understood this sharing of computers when if you can easily afford a second one.

My gadgets - for a single person: 2008 MacBook (runs a bit slow, I need to upgrade memory), 2011 Windows laptop (bought when Mac was really slow, I needed computer for classes, but I didn't have the $1200 for a new MacBook), iPod Touch, and Android Galaxy S3 smart phone.

Does my Kindle Paperwhite count as one of these gadgets? ;)

[Blackdog Lin]

I'm jumping into the minority opinion here.....of course if Kelli really feels a NEED, and can afford it without going into debt, well then she should have her own new computer. But I'm looking at this as part of the whole reason we're all on here: simplifying. And I think that's why you started the thread, Kelli, yes? Making do and doing without, and struggling with the modern-day decisions as to WHAT we can simplify, what we can do without and still have a rich and happy life.....this is one of those purchase/decisions we do (and should) think about every day. Lifestyle creep. It's insidious and pervasive. And really, it goes against the grain of the whole premise of our Simple Living precepts. At least it's something we should think about, before proclaiming "just buy the thing!"

I think you are asking good questions, Kelli, about whether this is a true need or just a want.....and whether the potential purchase aligns with your overall financial situation and simplicity philosophy(ies).

[fidgiegirl]

Geez, the way some of the technology threads were tending there for a while, I thought I'd be strung up by my toes for this one, and have been utterly surprised by the responses. I think Blackdog Lin has it . . . I am just trying to think it out instead of buying one just cuz I'm bugged by DH wanting the computer right at the same moment that I want it, or putting some files on the desktop when I don't want them there. Small potatoes, really.

iPad with keyboard won't work for me, I think . . . well, it might, but I already have one for work, and I'm not buying a second one. Since part of what I want to do is try to launch a business in order to leave my job, well, it doesn't seem like doing that on my work machine is quite right. Plus, I am not that in love with it. I had one all of last year instead of a laptop and now that I also have a work laptop (PC) I almost always use it instead of the iPad - even when I had a bluetooth keyboard (that died).

And actually, we might not have the money in the quite near future . . . we are having exterior work done right now and I am a little worried that it could drain a huge chunk of our savings - it's being done on a time/materials basis, so there is no way to know for sure until it's over. We have a ballpark, and it's big, but you know with house stuff, it can always be bigger. So, for now, I soldier on . . . but keeping in mind that maybe I'm not so out of the ordinary to want this after all. AND, I am pushing DH to get out his own iPad more often when he asks me for the computer and I'm in the middle of using it - especially when he just wants to use it as TV.

The deeper issue here is more likely that DH thinks I spend too much time on the computer (OK, I do, but that's not for him to decide) and that what I do online isn't valuable, which again, isn't for him to say. And I also HATE when he (or anyone) is waiting for me. It doesn't matter if the technology component is completely removed from that, I hate that. Yesterday it was the same feeling as I tried to decipher the wall of freaking underwear choices at Target and it was taking forever. Just go do something else! Argh!! I'll be done when I'm done, and it might be IN TWO HOURS!!!! Being rushed and unnecessarily scheduled really really really really bothers me, and poor DH is the opposite. Going into a weekend, he wants to know everything that's going to happen and when. This morning, he said, "So, what are you going to do today?" Me: "I have no idea. Whatever I feel like doing." So. There's that to cope with. In thinking about it, the "my own computer" thread might have actually been just about all of this stuff in the end . . . and won't likely be fixed by having my own machine, anyway.

[Miss Cellane]

If you have a Mac as your desktop, you can create a separate account for yourself. Just make sure it has Admin privileges. That way, anything your DH puts on his desktop stays on his desktop, and you have your own desktop to arrange as you please. I think that you have to make sure that any new software you add is available to all users, but that's the only change I can think of. And you can also create a "guest" account, if any stray guests need to use your computer--you can set what they can do, so that if, for example, a small nephew or niece wants to play on your computer, you can set parental controls and limit their ability to download stuff.

My brother visited me for a week once, in the days when laptops were just coming onto the market and weren't affordable. I let him use my computer. Good grief! He changed the font on the desktop, corrected what he thought was a spelling error in the name of my hard drive. rearranged all my icons on the desktop, and informed me that all my file names were wrong. (We won't even get into how he thought he should have control of the tv remote.) He couldn't deal with an "alien" setup for as little as a week!

That's one of the reasons I think that if you want your own computer, you should find a way to put that on the list of things you and your DH are planning to buy at some point. Not necessarily right away, but in the future. It's possible your DH is thinking along the same lines, if he isn't getting to use the existing computer as much as he'd like, either.

SteveinMN is right. They are called personal computers for a reason.

[Water&Air]

This post is great. I completely agree with you that this is about a deeper issue .... For what its worth, these are fundamental differences in how we operate in the world, so its unlikely to change. The solution, in this instance, may be to purchase your own laptop. If the resources are not available now, have the discussion with DH and save for it ... Relationship Harmony is worth the cost! It's the small things that get to us ..... and its all about balancing our needs with wants, as Blackdog Lin, stated. Also, I am struggling with tech issues, in my case I want the ease of an ipad, but the functionality of a laptop ... others issues are screen size ... I need to be able to read the information presented. ;) This board is wonderful, its a great place to "think things through".

[SteveinMN]

Kelli, I don't remember if you guys have an actual television. If you do, though, and DH can watch the TV he wants on his iPad (and, presumably, iPhone), then maybe the cheapest solution is an Apple TV. That will allow DH (and anyone else with recent Apple portable hardware) to bounce content from the MacBook or iDevice to the Apple TV and then to a regular TV screen. DW does that on her iPod Touch -- normally too small a screen to watch video -- so that she can use her iPad for other things. So if the issue is that DH wants to watch video on a decent-sized screen...


I'm looking at this as part of the whole reason we're all on here: simplifying. And I think that's why you started the thread, Kelli, yes? Making do and doing without, and struggling with the modern-day decisions as to WHAT we can simplify, what we can do without and still have a rich and happy life
Lin, I agree that part of living simply is deciding what we can do without, but I think sometimes life is better for having more than one of something.

I have more than one cutting board in the kitchen -- enough to prep messy foods (and/or "dangerous" foods, like meats) without having to stop what I'm doing and washing and dry a cutting board. That makes my life simpler even if it ratches up the item count in the house. Granted, a cutting board does not (typically) cost what a laptop does. But if that's what works and it stands the test of examination and finances, then, in the long run, life is simpler with it.

It does sound like Kelli is identifying deeper issues and that's good in that this is what the evaluation of living simply is supposed to do. But if the answer is another laptop and they are willing to pay for that instead of something else, then their simple choice has been identified.

[nswef]

Oh yes, sharing and being rushed are two irritating things that will make me crazy! Fortunately my husband is pretty illiterate about changing things on the computer, so I know it isn't going to be re-arranged, but the little tablet has made it easier when we both want the computer...yes he could wait, or I could wait, but we also take it on trips now,although I do nothing much with it. It gives him confidence in machines as he is better at the tablet than I am!!! Always good to boost confidence.

[Spartana]

I currently have a small tablet computer which I hate so will be getting a new laptop asap. Probably just a cheap one for under $300. I don't have wi fi at home (sis has a hard line into her bedroom) so unless I get a router too can't use it at home....yet. But I think it's a practical purchase for uber - frugalista cheapskape me anyways, just as I think yours would be. I'd hate sharing a computer with someone else too and tablets just aren't the same as a laptop. I've even looked at - and am lusting after - the new touch screen with key boards too desk tops. Huge things that are very cool. I won't get that but......well, lust is lust :-)

[Gardenarian]

Mr. Money Mustache might suggest that you figure out how much the new computer will cost you per hour of use - I bet that makes it look pretty affordable.

Still, I have a hard time buying computers because you really need to buy new and they become obsolete so quickly.

[iamdavidspersonaleconomy]

Hi there,

So I was really surprised by the responses supporting the purchase on the thread! My two cents is this, wait, and write about it. Part of why I read and participate in this and other forums is I want to avoid buyer's remorse. That feeling 10 minutes after I buy something, even something cool like a computer. I myself have been wanting a new computer. For 3 months I wanted a chromebox. I waited it out and then for 3 months I wanted an apple, an iMac. I still do, but in 3 months I may want Google glasses. So for big purchases like a new computer I wait. I now have a 2 year old dell laptop that works very well.

I also journal about large purchases to check my motives and expectations:

1. What do I expect this purchase to do for me?
2. Is this expectation realistic?
3. How much time did I work to afford this?
4. Do I already have something that could serve this purpose?
5. How will this make my life better, me happier? (Not just easier, but lasting happiness)

After waiting for a few months, and answering these questions, I can make my own decision. I can buy with confidence!

Enjoy your decision, whichever way you go!

Added in edit:

My computer decision has been to wait until this Dell no longer works for me. At that point I may get a mac if I want. I can search for refurbished, used, or learn how to fix them and buy a broken one to fix. I could even buy a new one! But I don't have to to be happy. Also, the main reason I want a mac is because they look sexy, their physical design is amazing, and they are marketed very well, and I see many people with them, which makes me want them more. They may be better than PC, but that is not why I want one.

[Spartana]

David I agree that all purchases that are wants rather then needs should be well thought out. But sometimes, even if something isn't really needed, it can be worth buying just to reduce the hassle of doing things in a more difficult way - or in a way you dislike. For instance I have a gardener to do my lawn twice a month even though I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. But that expense is worth it to me because that's a chore I hate doing. It would be the same with sharing a computer - I'd hate that and it would be a hassle so would be worth spending the money on even if it wasn't really a need.

[SteveinMN]

David I agree that all purchases that are wants rather then needs should be well thought out. But sometimes, even if something isn't really needed, it can be worth buying just to reduce the hassle of doing things in a more difficult way - or in a way you dislike.
Yep. Simplicity does not always equal frugality. Sometimes keeping things simple and hassle-free costs money. As in every other case -- even needs, like food and shelter -- we balance the cost of having with the cost of not having. Not everything in life comes down to a number that can be evaluated clearly.

[SvenV]

Iphone, Ipad, there is just missing a MacBook... they are the best things!:) So thin, light and fast... of of my best purchase I ever made I think. I can really recommend it... and the good thing about a laptop is, as the iPad, you can use it everywhere....

[Miss Cellane]

Life would be pretty grim if we only met our needs and none of our wants.

For me, part of living simply is that you meet your needs, and then you meet the really important wants. Not the "Oh, I like that! Shiny!" when you spot something in a catalog or a store, but the real, deep-seated wants for something you know you will value and use. Those wants could be a new computer, a huge retirement fund, new flip-flops every month, a deluxe ski vacation every year, a new bathroom in the house. They probably won't make sense to other people, who have more standard ideas of what people should want.

The one potential red flag that I spotted was that fidgiegirl's husband thinks she spends too much time on the computer. If he thinks that because he doesn't get enough time to spend with her doing other things, that's a problem that needs to be addressed whether or not they get a second computer. Internet widow/ers do exist. If he thinks that because he wants to use the computer, or he doesn't approve of what she's doing on the computer, that's a different issue.

Unless you are running a business from your home, few people *need* a personal computer of their own. Libraries have computers you can use. Internet cafes have computers you can use. And they are simpler--because someone else gets to handle all the technical problems.

The young people I know who are graduating from college have a very different view of computers than my generation (I'm 53). Lots of people my age still think of computers as something special, something very expensive, something you only buy when absolutely necessary.

The kids graduating from college have mostly spent the past 4 years in their dorms, completely wired to the internet. They can research their papers from their beds without having to trek to the library. They are used to free email accounts and free internet access because their schools provide these things. They have smart phones and they know how to use them. They use their computers, their iPads and their smart phones so much that the idea of sharing them, except in an emergency, is strange to them. The devices are all personalized in how they are set up and contain so much personal information that sharing them just isn't in their thoughts. Computers, smart phones, tablets, iPads--all these are as much as part of their daily lives as my DayTimer and tape deck and wearing leg warmers and sneakers to walk to work were to me. Remember when buying a calculator was considered a big expense?

[Tussiemussies]

Great points Cellane!

[Gardenarian]

Hi fidgie -
I went back and read your post more carefully, and see that you feel this is maybe more of an issue about the different work styles of you and your dh.
I remember a while back you said you had got out of the habit of making lists (and I had to, though I'm doing a bit more list making now.)
I'm wondering if you have gravitated from being more of a "planner" to more of a "let's see what happens" person. I know I shift around, depending on the demands being made on me - but my preference is to go with the flow, keeping busy but spontaneous. One is not better than the other - but my dh never plans ANYTHING and we sometimes knock heads over that.

The power supply on my little netbook broke and I used my husband's Macbook for a few days - what a difference! It is 8 years old, but solid as a rock. Not quite as (internet) fast as my netbook, but such a pleasure to use something of such quality.

If you get pleasure and satisfaction out of your time online, that's great! I was feeling like dd was spending too much time online, but finally realized that that is how she socializes, and it's deeply important to her. As long as she gets enough exercise, etc., what the heck?

I'm not trying to encourage you to spend money :) and I do think it is okay to use the school iPad for personal use. I know some districts are strict about this, but really, the more you become familiar with it and learn the ins and outs, the more you will get out of it at work. My library has given iPads to some librarians (not me yet, more's the pity) to simply learn more about them.

Do you have an iPad keyboard? I would definitely give that a good try; there is a learning curve to all of this stuff. I don't really like storing everything in the cloud, but that's the way it'll be. (Why couldn't they put just one USB port on the iPad??)

If the situation is really causing tension with your dh and the iPad doesn't help, then maybe this is a "need" and not a "want"?

Love to hear an update!