fidgiegirl
7-9-13, 9:04pm
On our recent trip we met the son of one of DH's college friends. Well, I met him, but DH hadn't seen him since he was a little boy. DH is the boy's godfather, but hasn't seen him or had any relationship with him in many years. They live about four hours from where we live.
This student has graduated high school this year and will be attending college in the fall. He is, for all intents and purposes, a first-generation college student. His dad attended college for one year (when he and DH struck up their friendship) but had to leave for financial reasons. I believe his mom has some post-secondary training but not the kind that this student is going to pursue - an engineering degree. I do not know if anyone in his large extended family has gone to college, but I did not get the impression that post-secondary education is particularly valued.
The student got a good ACT score but poor grades in his senior year. The parents were expressing worries such as "he doesn't have any study skills, he didn't do his homework in high school." I got the bad feeling that while of course their feelings are valid, as all feelings are, that this is setting him up for failure. Money was also mentioned as a worry - not so much not having it or not being able to borrow it, but the concern that in the event of his non-success, that student loans are an especial burden when no degree has been obtained to help pay them. We tried to counter these arguments with experiences of our own, that of course it won't be easy but lots of people do it, that motivation counts for so much and that it's hard to find that in high school, etc. and that we made it through.
I am trying to think of if there are any small ways we can be supportive to this student given that we don't have much of a relationship with him. I just feel like perhaps if he knows some people who have been to and value college, maybe it would be a light for him. I know in my own experience my parents didn't really have the personal experience to know how to navigate the system, and as such I had to figure it out on my own and made some missteps on the way (my mom finished her degree a few months before I finished mine, so she and I were learning the culture of college simultaneously).
So keeping in mind some of this backstory, what might be some ideas for how to support this student emotionally as he enters the college world? Maybe it's a pipe dream - after all, a relationship can't be manufactured out of thin air. But I thought maybe one of you would have a good insight.
This student has graduated high school this year and will be attending college in the fall. He is, for all intents and purposes, a first-generation college student. His dad attended college for one year (when he and DH struck up their friendship) but had to leave for financial reasons. I believe his mom has some post-secondary training but not the kind that this student is going to pursue - an engineering degree. I do not know if anyone in his large extended family has gone to college, but I did not get the impression that post-secondary education is particularly valued.
The student got a good ACT score but poor grades in his senior year. The parents were expressing worries such as "he doesn't have any study skills, he didn't do his homework in high school." I got the bad feeling that while of course their feelings are valid, as all feelings are, that this is setting him up for failure. Money was also mentioned as a worry - not so much not having it or not being able to borrow it, but the concern that in the event of his non-success, that student loans are an especial burden when no degree has been obtained to help pay them. We tried to counter these arguments with experiences of our own, that of course it won't be easy but lots of people do it, that motivation counts for so much and that it's hard to find that in high school, etc. and that we made it through.
I am trying to think of if there are any small ways we can be supportive to this student given that we don't have much of a relationship with him. I just feel like perhaps if he knows some people who have been to and value college, maybe it would be a light for him. I know in my own experience my parents didn't really have the personal experience to know how to navigate the system, and as such I had to figure it out on my own and made some missteps on the way (my mom finished her degree a few months before I finished mine, so she and I were learning the culture of college simultaneously).
So keeping in mind some of this backstory, what might be some ideas for how to support this student emotionally as he enters the college world? Maybe it's a pipe dream - after all, a relationship can't be manufactured out of thin air. But I thought maybe one of you would have a good insight.