neighbor and trees - again

[pinkytoe]

I posted a while back about how our new neighbor said he would pay to have a large cottonwood removed from the front our OUR house because he didn't like it. Eventually, we got the city involved as it was in the easement and they removed it at no cost. Then last weekend, he came over and said he didn't like our crepe myrtle near his driveway dropping flowers on his car...would we please remove those branches? They don't even hang over the property line so I guess the flowers blow over there. We noticed too that in the last few weeks he had all tree limbs hanging over his back yard fence line (except for ours) trimmed off. I have never had a neighbor issue like this - I respect his right to hate trees but honestly don't know how to deal with his latest request. Should we just ignore him?

[bae]

Invite him over for coffee and have a chat?

[catherine]

Wow. I HATE that suburbia mentality (crape myrtle flowers dropping on a car--oh, my!), but I guess I should be a bigger person and go along with what bae said.

[Simplemind]

I think a talk would be good. Sounds very much like a neighbor of mine. I would come out in the morning to find that after she trimmed everything that was touching or overhanging she started trimming what wasn't even near her property. She would also pressure wash obsessively. After several talks it was obvious that part of her bipolar was to blame. By her own admission, she could not stop thinking about the landscaping and keep her hands off it. It has been five years and my rhodies are only now starting to fill back in. She is a good neighbor and was going through a bad time.

[CathyA]

I don't know about Pinkytoe, but I'm not the kind of person who can or wants to invite someone over when they're pissing me off.

Pinkytoe, do you feel like you could wait until he approaches you again, and you say exactly what you feel to him? You don't have to be rude........just explain that you don't feel you should have to cut your crapemyrtle when its not over your fenceline. And you could ask him if he is not trimming his trees that are over your fenceline because he's mad at you for not doing everything he asks?

I hope you didn't like the cottonwood either.........otherwise, I would have told him to forget it.
Good thing I'm not an ambassador. hahaha

[pinkytoe]

Well, we actually have had many discussions about this and other topics. This is a man who put the original resident, his mother, in a nursing home and then moved into her house. Because of this, I do not care for him nor do I have any desire to sit down and have coffee with him since all of our previous conversations have gone in circles. I just want him to live and let live like the rest of my neighbors do. I guess I will stop fixating on my crazy neighbor and go cut the limbs off. Something tells me though, he is already eyeballing other limbs to get upset about.

[CathyA]

I know this is hard to do, but try not to let it bother you. He's a jerk. Just concern yourself with anything of yours that might be on his side, and then maybe some time you can say to him "I really want you to quit talking to me about what you want me to do next to my own property."

[iris lilies]

... I respect his right to hate trees but ...

Hey, I'd like his email address! Sounds like the kind of guy who I could be buddies with! haha.

Now crepe myrtle, not a tree. I love me some crepe myrtles as long as the Japanese beetles aren't out and about.

[puglogic]

If those branches do not extend over the property line (even looking up) I would not cut them.

I have a neighbor with a fabulous beloved crabapple tree whose branches extend over our fenceline. These branches might allow wildlife to climb up and over into our yard, and I might some day trim them back to the line for that reason -- but I would never for a moment consider telling her to cut MORE of the tree to suit me. Seriously? What if it's a windy day? Your crepe myrtle might be fifty feet away and still get flowers on his precious car. This guy doesn't sound like someone I'd want to engage with very much. Controlling, self-serving.

Flowers and leaves drop and blow. You can't control that, no matter where you live. Fact of life he needs to get used to.
Such is life in neighborville, I guess.

[pinkytoe]

The offending limbs have been removed but still the flowers from the rest of the tree are blowing onto his driveway. I think I figured him out though. Except for a few pecan trees, he has nothing but sterile, perfect lawn from edge to edge. His lawn guys come every week to mow and blow to perfection. Yesterday, while she was away, he was at another neighbor's house sweeping any fallen leaves or twigs from her driveway. He obviously has some compulsive disorder. It's rough for him because I'm a native plant person (except for the crepe myrtle) so my yard is "messy" by his standards. Tolerance is key here - from both sides.

[reader99]

Well, we actually have had many discussions about this and other topics. This is a man who put the original resident, his mother, in a nursing home and then moved into her house. Because of this, I do not care for him nor do I have any desire to sit down and have coffee with him since all of our previous conversations have gone in circles. I just want him to live and let live like the rest of my neighbors do. I guess I will stop fixating on my crazy neighbor and go cut the limbs off. Something tells me though, he is already eyeballing other limbs to get upset about.

Probably there's more to it, but on the face of it putting his mother in a nursing home and living in her house doesn't seem evil in itself. DHs mother spent the last ten years of her life in a nursing home because that was the care she needed. If she had had a house and we didn't we might have lived in it. My mother left me her house. It seems natural to me.

[catherine]

Some people just like the barren look! I'm actually having some disagreement with DH. For my permaculture class I had designed a "new" back yard, and while it's aspirational, and I don't expect to do everything in the design, I wanted to start implementing one or two ideas. DH has been ADAMANT against any changes that will break up our lawn, which pretty much nixes most of my permie innovations. I try to tell him that less lawn means less mowing, but he's not budging (like your neighbor DH also hired a weekly lawn service. Oh well.)

[The Storyteller]

I'm spoiled. My neighbors in the country come over and help us all the time, and vice versa. I drove by the farm the other day and one of them who works for Goodyear had replaced 3 of the 4 tires on my 16 food trailer because he noticed they were flat, no charge. The neighbor across the street noticed we didn't have a tractor and offered the use of his brand new Kubota any time we need it. Sometimes when I lag on mowing, I'll notice someone did the front easement area for us while they were doing theirs, and this is different people each time. Often we do the same for them.

Flash to our city home... our neighbor does nothing but complain, no matter how hard we try to appease. First it's my chicken tractor, then my antennae, then I'm parking in HIS spot on the city street in front of my house. Finally I told him I didn't want to hear from him any more. That if we violate some city code, he should just contact the authorities and complain.

[Gardenarian]

I'm so sorry about Mr. Grouch. In cases like this I have to keep repeating to myself "Consider the source, consider the source..."

[SteveinMN]

then I'm parking in HIS spot on the city street in front of my house
One of my urban-living faves. >8) Like people really get to choose exactly where they can/will park on any given day. Now, cars with no license plates and commercial trucks parked for days on end I would beef about. But I spent 2+ years living in an apartment with no off-street parking. I know you don't always get your choice of spots.

[Karma]

I really hate cottonwood trees and am always amazed at how most of their giant leaves end up in other people's yards. He needs to just suck it up with the crepe myrtle though, I would just avoid him at this point.

[pinkytoe]

I would just avoid him at this point.
Yep, that's our strategy. Yesterday, he had his whole house and yard sprayed with some chemical. Heave forbid he see a bug or a weed. I wanted to go over there and strangle him but I stifled myself.

[KayLR]

This all reminds me of my favorite story about one of my friends. She and her partner regularly walked their large dog in their neighborhood. They are responsible owners, picking up after him, not letting him off-leash, respectful of properties. But there was this old guy who always came out and hollered at them to "keep that dog out of his yard!"

They just smiled and waved, but they did have an evil side:
Before Christmas they waited until he wasn't home one day and took the dog over to his yard and photographed him in a Santa hat sitting at his patio table in one of his chairs. Then they had it printed on Christmas cards!

I don't think the guy ever knew, but the other neighbors got the joke!

[BarbieGirl]

This all reminds me of my favorite story about one of my friends. She and her partner regularly walked their large dog in their neighborhood. They are responsible owners, picking up after him, not letting him off-leash, respectful of properties. But there was this old guy who always came out and hollered at them to "keep that dog out of his yard!"

They just smiled and waved, but they did have an evil side:
Before Christmas they waited until he wasn't home one day and took the dog over to his yard and photographed him in a Santa hat sitting at his patio table in one of his chairs. Then they had it printed on Christmas cards!

I don't think the guy ever knew, but the other neighbors got the joke!


ROFLMAO! Pure evil genius! I love it!

[iris lilies]

This all reminds me of my favorite story about one of my friends.

That's WAS funny if also passive-aggressive. But that said, I always enjoy a good F-YOU! story.