View Full Version : Kid funnies!
Felt like sharing a little "kid funny" that took place yesterday in our home.
We've had lots of rain (and mild temperatures) for the past few days making things wet and miserable and messy and mucky outside. Anyhow, early yesterday afternoon the doorbell goes off and my youngest son (age six this fall) answers the door. "It's the mail-lady mom" he calls out. "OK" I answer, "let her in and I'll be there in a minute". As I'm washing hamburger and onion mess off my hands DS calls out again, this time even louder- "MOM, the lady made the floor all wet"!!! :laff: Talk about feeling like finding a place to hide!
Anyhow, all the funny things that happen in our house from day to day helps remind me of why I enjoy being a mom so much! Kids are so rewarding.
That is funny, Mrs. M.!
I was at the natural history museum last week and remembered an "overheard" funny I heard there long ago: A mom and little boy were looking at the meteor exhibit.
The little boy said to the mom, "You said we were going to see dinosaurs! Where are the dinosaurs?"
The mom said, "I didn't say we would see dinosaurs."
Boy: "You said we were going to see meateaters!"
Mom, "No honey, meteors. I said we would see meteors."
That was probably 15 years ago, but it still makes me laugh. Poor kid! I hope his mom did bring him to the dinosaur exhibit because a big rock just isn't as exciting as a T-Rex.
Years ago I took my stepkids and their cousin to the local museum. The two youngest were about 8 yrs old. The museum had an exhibit of Renaissance nudes. Cousin whispered to DSD, "Why is everybody naked?" She replied confidently, "Oh, that was the fashion then."
I love these. My kids are pretty funny too. Some of their funnies:
This morning. Cheyenne: Mom, I have a pretend mouse I am rescuing from a pretend mousetrap in the kitchen. But it's pretend. Not real. So when you hear me say "Hey look, there's a mouse in the kitchen" please don't scream and hide in the bathroom.
Me (looking at a picture of a drawing Bella was making of something with a bow on it's head): What's that you are drawing?
Bella: A baby girl crocodile.
Me: What's it's name?
Bella (Menacingly): Death
Cheyenne: Mom, I'm going to marry Cole. He said he'd give me a piece of gum if I married him.
Me: I think you should marry for love.
Cheyenne: I love Cole....and gum.
Bella (age 5): I don't want Nicholas to be my boyfriend anymore. He's all about the drama.
(Side note, I was hoping it might last between her and Nicholas. If she married him she'd be Isabella Athena Medina de los Santos. Doesn't that sound like a Spanish countess or something?)
Isabella: You know mom, when I was four I was really afraid of seaweed. Now that I'm five I can see how silly that was.
Cheyenne: Mom, you've been here for a while now, how are you liking it?
Me: Been where honey?
Cheyenne: You know, Earth.
I forgot two of my favourites.
Cheyenne: Mom I have a surprise for your birthday. I even wiped the slime off of it!
Bella: For my birthday I want a big, huge cake. Not too huge, though. It should probably be smaller than the couch.
son(about 7) : I'm a brontosaurus
Husband: Well I'm velociraptor, and will eat your brontosaurus.
son: Well, I'm t-Rex and I'm bigger than your velociraptor.
Husband: Well, I'm a stegosaurus and impervious to your t-Rex teeth.
daughter (about5): Well, I'm Bugs Bunny!
This is great! :laff: Thanks everyone for adding a little something special of your own to this thread. Lots of fun!
Bootsie. Awww, poor kid is right. Kids really do have a one-track mind when it comes so many things, and I also hope he was treated to a dinosaur exhibit afterwards.
Reader99. Isn't it funny how kids (even when they don't know something) will expand (in great detail if need be) to fill in all the blanks!
Stella. Those are great. The more kids one has, the more funnies that result. The combination of married names you mentioned definitely has a royal ring (resonance) to it.
Peggy. That is so sweet! So innocent and tender.
Hehehhe, I love these!
One that sticks in my mind is when my little cousin, who was maybe 5 or 6 at the time, came into our house out of the pouring rain and said "Phew, it's tarantula rain out there!" :D
Another that has become a bit of a family joke was when my younger brother was maybe 4 or 5. My mum told him to look in the fridge (our only fridge!) for something and he said "What fridge?" Very cute.
I also recall being very young and asking my family if "everything was black and white in the olden days" ;)
I explained the concept of evolution to my daughter when she was young. I thought she understood it. While driving her to my mother's house one day, we passed a huge subdivision. I said to her "That used to just be a big field when we lived here". And she said "Yes, back when you and papa were gorillas". hahahahaha
Good morning Mira and CathyA! :) Funny stuff! Mira, your black and white store made me laugh so hard! I was quite young and remember us kids gathered around the kitchen table (with mom) looking at our old baby photo albums. Everything (picture wise) in the albums of us older kids was black and white and I remember saying to my mom- "there was no colour back then"? :laff: So glad to know you and I thought alike when we were younger!
CathyA. :laff: Kids really do say the funniest of things. The part that makes it even funnier is the fact that they're always so serious when they say it!!! There's not a doubt in my mind that they believe what they say too!
A couple of years ago we were running around town doing shopping and I had my three youngest with me. It was question day that day (so it seemed) and boy were the questions ever flying! :) (What's that mom?, who's that mom?, where we going now mom)? Anyhow, it was fall (hunting season) and a truck had pulled up alongside us with a fresh kill in the back. It was an elk and the antlers were really big and the kids noticed, then after a quiet moment the toddler asks, "what's that mom"? "That's an elk" I replied, "it's hunting season and those men are going to eat it". Then I proceeded to explain hunting and shopping in a little more detail to help comfort anyone who may have been upset over the sight, explaining to them that some people buy meat at the store while others hunt for it. All seemed well with the kids and we carried on.
A few minutes later we were again stopped at a light and this time a truck rolled up beside us with two large dogs in the back. Having just finished telling my story about hunting and shopping to the kids, things were fresh in their minds so not wasting so much as a second the toddler pipes up again and asks- "mom, are they going to eat those dogs too"? :laff: I nearly wet my pants with laughter!!! Just the way he said it, so innocent and honest like. Priceless!
When my stepson was four, we were at a large gathering, and someone raised their glass to start a toast, whereupon Eric said, "Let's make toast in the air!"
He's now 18. I haven't been allowed to share that story in his presence for many years... some day he'll appreciate how incredibly cute it is.
CathyA. I'm convinced it's natures way of helping us moms get through the trying times. :)
Redfox. That's so darn cute. :) In a few more years your son will be past the embarrassment stage of the story and find delight in you sharing it with others.
Gardenarian
3-16-11, 6:08pm
Me: "Look at this mess! Do think I have nothing better to do than clean house!"
dd, eyes full of tears: "But, I thought you liked cleaning! You do it all the time!"
++++++++++++
Just a few days ago: "Mama, I dreamed I was Maximum Ride but I told them I didn't want wings unless you could have them too." :)
Hi Gardenarian. That's great! :) Kids mean so well don't they. When my youngest two were little we were outside one day. They were playing in the little wadding-pool and over the course of the afternoon one of the boys (both on occasion) would dart into the house to get something or another in the way of another toy or thing to play with in the pool. Soon the pool was full of all sorts of toys and I said to them- "OK, it's time to dry off and clean up all the toys you brought outside", adding, "mommy will go in a get a dry towel so you can dry everything off before bringing it back into the house".
So, off I went and when I came back outside with towel in hand the older of the two said to me, "all done mommy, we cleans everything up"! Gosh, he was so proud and his eyes were so big and round and wide-open. Sure enough, no toys left in the pool, all cleaned up, then I looked over at my laundry basket which I had left outside empty earlier that morning and all full of toys it was. I thought- "wow, you guys are such good kids, bright thinkers you are organizing all the wet toys in one convenient place to be dried off". So I said, "good job" enthusiastically, then went to pass the towel off to them, but as fast as I could get those words out and pass the towel, the older of the two looked up at me dazed and confused like then piped-up and said- "you put them on the clothesline mommy"! ROTFLMAO! Their mom didn't use a clothesline and I did, so in their minds (I'm thinking) they must have thought that EVERYTHING got dried on the clothesline! :laff: One of the cutest moments...
DD (2.5) made off with my seam gauge, saying, "I just going to measure Teddy's foot, because he needs a shot."
I asked her what size Teddy's foot was, and she said, "A long, long time ago."
Later she told Teddy, "Teddy, I just listen to your foot, and you tell me what it is, OK? Looks like it measures five o-clock."
Mighty Frugal
3-20-11, 7:57pm
My 4 year old said to me: 'Mom, when I am older and daddy is dead, I am going to marry YOU'
Me: 'oh, really?'
Son 'Um, yes. When daddy is dead, will you be an old lady like grandma?
Me: 'Yes'
Son: 'Forget it, I'm not gonna marry you'
Maribeth. That is so cute. A child's life really is full of magic isn't it. Anything and everything goes whether it makes sense or not. Got to love it. :)
Mighty Frugal. So sweet that is. There are days that I wish I could turn back the clock to relive certain portions of my past again. It was all so surreal.
We were driving back home from vacation and had been in the car for several hours. Both kids had been pretty good and it was fairly quiet in the back seat. DS was maybe 6 or 7 and DD was 3 or 4. I know she was still in a car seat. I don't know what DS said, but all of a sudden I hear DD say very calmly and matter-of-factly, "You want a piece of me, I'm right here." I about split a gut.
Just had my 7 year old grandson visiting. He decided to dress the dog in one of DH's old insulated vests "to keep the dog warm", he said. The poor dog looked at me so appealingly when I checked on the two of them.
We walked in our woods and he asked if alligators would live in the creek in the woods. I advised him that alligators need warm weather but we could tell a story about his alligator which he named Turquoise which made friends with our dog, some squirrels and the Lords of Nature (anyone have this toy?)
We came back to the house and he drew pictures of the various creatures. I must assemble it all.
Hi Beckyliz and Razz. What darling stories. :) Beckyliz, sounds like you daughter was a real firecracker! :laff:
Razz. It must be something with kids, always asking or thinking about scary animals and things lurking in places. With my kids it was always sharks. "Mom, do think there's sharks in the lake"? "Do you think the opogopo (Ogopogo) lives here"? Questions like that. :)
LOL, great kid funnies. And it helps a lot in figuring out how they are thinking.
Redfox, a possible to toast to your son and his wife on their wedding day:
May Dson and DDil have a wonderful life of making much toast in the air!
One from Bella: Grandpa, I know you are really, really super old (He just turned 63), but at least you're not dead!
Mrs. M, my nephew had a thing about sharks too. He once asked me if there was any remote possibility that a shark could live in a toilet.
My friend's nephew once asked me why it was that ninjas were allergic to water. I wasn't aware that they were. :)
early morning
3-25-11, 10:42pm
DD, sitting in high chair, about 15 months old: "down peeze". Me: "You can't get down until your milk (which she'd JUST asked for) is all gone". DD: looks at me, looks at milk cup, quickly pours milk on floor - "down peeze, milk all gone!". Well, can't argue with that logic... Several years later, in the car with a kid thermos of water: "Mom! I'm gonna pour me a drink!" Me: No, wait, I'll pull over and get it for you", which I do, managing to spill it. DD: "See Mom? I coulda done THAT!". How right she was! ;) \
DS, age 3, was helping me shop at the dime store. He pushed the cart back as I was paying and some biker guys came into the store and started talking to him (as I watched carefully from the checkout). They started laughing as I walked up. Big biker dude #1 says "Great kid!" or something of the sort, "we asked him his name and he said he wasn't allowed to talk to strangers". Big Biker dude #2 chimes in "so I asked - how do you know we're strangers, and he said 'cause you guys look pretty strange to me!!" 20 some years later, all bikers elicit that comment from me when DS is around, lol.
Amaranth and Stella and Early morning, GOOD MORNING! :) Kid funnies really are the best aren't they. One thing I've learned Amaranth, kids are WAY out there when it comes to both their imaginations and beliefs. :)
Stella. I really do believe it's my kids that help keep me young. Never a dull moment... Sharks in toilets and the ninjas... :laff:
EM. Your daughter, what a little stinker! :) I'm thinking she had your number! :D Your son sounded like such a character too! :laff: This is where kid funnies evolve full-circle, kids say and do all sorts of funny little things (sometimes big things) when they're younger, and then when they begin to grow and age and mature, we as parents get to revive and resurrect childhood funnies again and relive them! :)
I was babysitting one of my nephews one day and washing the diapers of my youngest (prior to the baby boys). My nephew (newly toilet trained) was being a good little aunties helper that day and when the time came for me to take the diapers outside for hanging, out my nephew came with me hot on my heels.
Sitting down on one of the patio chairs he watched me for a few minutes then piped up and said- "auntie Margaret, I didn't wear those when I was little, I had training pants". I remember laughing and saying something to the effect of- "OH REALLY, "well that's funny because I remember changing you in them when you were a baby". "No, not me, my mom said I wore training pants". :laff:
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