The all-cash system

[frugalone]

I hope I'm in the right forum for this; if not, please let me know.

I have read of people on here going to an "all-cash system." Can someone tell me what it means? I mean, I understand you could pay for gas and groceries in cash, but what about things like your utility bills?

I'm getting really frustrated with my partner. This is the fourth time this week he has run to a supermarket (or two). Every time he goes, he spends more, of course. The other day, he bought a couple of items that now need to be returned. So far as I know, he hasn't returned them--but he DID return to the market and buy more stuff! I THINK I have tried to explain that we need to cut down on trips to the store, but I don't know if I'm being clear. I'm considering taking the debit card, making cash withdrawals, and saying, "THIS is what we have to spend on food this week. Period."

Last week, I ended up with less than a dollar in my checking account due to overspending. I've had issues with bouncing checks and I don't want it to happen again. I put $100 "emergency money" in to cover the shortage, but guess what? The $100 got used up already.

I feel like a rant, but that belongs in another thread.

[Teacher Terry]

It sounds like you guys need to go to the cash system only for groceries. It also sounds like you might have to be the one to return things he buys which I know sucks.

[catherine]

Well, I have a spouse who also has a hard time understanding spending limits. We have had a running joke for almost 40 years that if he leaves the house with $2 or $200 he always returns, not broke, but with $1.00. He glazes over when I talk budget. He leaves it to me, but then I become "the bad guy" who "controls" him.

But I pulled out the envelope system last fall, and he loves it, and he's compliant with it. He sees that if there is $20 in the envelope for the rest of the week for food, there's $20 for food. We each have a personal allotment, and I put his in his own envelope, and he will go without smoking for two days if he runs out rather than asking for more money. It's amazing. He's like two different people with and without the envelopes. I'm no longer the "bad guy" and it really facilitates conversation.

Obviously he's not THAT different, and we still have spending issues, but the cash system really helps. I use envelopes for food, gas, personal spending, grooming/clothes, restaurants and entertainment. Fixed expenses are paid out of the checking account, and things that you typically wouldn't overspend on, like prescription medication, I also use a debit card for.

[Kestra]

Well the envelope system might work, as catherine described, but there's a lot more to consider that isn't clear from your post.

Who is making money right now? Is it only you? You mention your account. Is it yours or joint? Is he buying groceries out of your account? Does he agree that you should spend less money at the store? Does he know exactly what that means? - Not, spend less, but spend this amount (which is where the envelope system could be your friend.) What if you used a cash system - would he still find another way to spend money? The cash comes from somewhere.
And do you want to control your partner's spending, or do you want to not have to treat him like a child? Are your finances that tight or are you moving extra money into a savings account so it looks like you have less to spend?

Sorry, for the wall of questions, but hopefully I'm making my point that it's not about the method you use to spend money (cash, debit or credit) but your the way you two agree or disagree about spending, and your spending habits.

[Dhiana]

What is prompting him to go to the supermarket? Not enough lunch? His turn to cook dinner? I spend more money when I plan poorly. Same with my husband so if you know what is causing him to make these extra trips, maybe you can stop them or at least reduce them to reduce the outflow?

[frugalone]

I really don't understand why he's going to the store several times a week. We're going to have to sit down and talk about planning ahead, avoiding impulses to drive to the store for "whatever reason". I've tried to get my point across that we have to really watch the spending, but he's not getting it.

Kestra--no disrespect but your reference to savings makes me want to laugh. I don't make enough to save anything anymore. I used to have a good job and I blew it. Basically, I feel like I have no future anymore.

[new2oregon]

Frugalone, For some people its works better to have your own accounts than nobody feels controlled or runs out of money unless they do it to themselves. Just offering a suggestion,

[ToomuchStuff]

I hope I'm in the right forum for this; if not, please let me know.

I have read of people on here going to an "all-cash system." Can someone tell me what it means? I mean, I understand you could pay for gas and groceries in cash, but what about things like your utility bills?


It means what you make it to mean. For some, it quite literally is its name sake and yes you can pay for your utility bills with cash (shocking). Dave, that a lot of people follow, doesn't use an all cash system himself, nor do a lot of listeners, but the way I understand him, is the reason to change to an all cash system, is to BREAK habits and start to form new ones. Doing so for a few months may help chronic spenders know what is coming in, going out and where. Tracking every penny can also do this (receipts, receipts, receipts).
For me, for YEARS, I had several places that were local, that I could pay utility bills. For some, there was a cost of a quarter (.25 cents), so if I didn't have stamps, it was cheaper to stop at one on the way to work, then to get stamps. Now, one is a couple miles out of my way into work and one place is a little past work, but we have a postal station on the way, so I just mail them (checking account).

Your partners name isn't Tim, from Missouri by some chance is it? LOL. One of my bosses would go to Sam's or Costco, several times a week, as well as the grocery store and he thinks it is a good thing. He asked me how often I shop at Sam's, trying to impress the manager we knew and the manager laughed at my response; "anything more then once a week is pi** poor planning. (I do the shopping for work, strange since he always went) He doesn't have a clue how much he wastes, IMHO.

[Gardenarian]

Our market is only a block away, and the farmer's market is a short walk - so we often shop several times a week. Makes sense for us.

I used the envelope, cash only system for a while and it was the most effective way of saving money I have found. That's when I was single - I think it would be much more difficult to do as a family.

[Teacher Terry]

I don't think it has to be controlling at all. When the envelope is empty then it means no more $ for food or whatever. Men especially are very visual so I could rally see where it would work great for them.

[Yarrow]

I really don't understand why he's going to the store several times a week. We're going to have to sit down and talk about planning ahead, avoiding impulses to drive to the store for "whatever reason". I've tried to get my point across that we have to really watch the spending, but he's not getting it.


Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the guy that doesn't work, has no intentions of working, and hasn't worked in years, that relies on you for his full financial support? I'd be making sure he didn't have any access to your money, cash or otherwise, if I were you! Time to look out for yourself for a change!

[catherine]

I don't think it has to be controlling at all. When the envelope is empty then it means no more $ for food or whatever. Men especially are very visual so I could rally see where it would work great for them.

Yes, that's why DH likes the envelope system a lot. It's much less "controlling" than me doling out money.

[frugalone]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the guy that doesn't work, has no intentions of working, and hasn't worked in years, that relies on you for his full financial support? I'd be making sure he didn't have any access to your money, cash or otherwise, if I were you! Time to look out for yourself for a change!

And do you think that I should be doing all the grocery shopping and errand running too?

I think it's the very least he can do to make a contribution.

[catherine]

And do you think that I should be doing all the grocery shopping and errand running too?

I think it's the very least he can do to make a contribution.

+1

Another reason the envelope system works great, frugalone. It does give accountability. He takes $20 from it to go by this-or-that and he has to bring you the receipt. No judgement--just transparency.

On another note, I just got back from Trader Joe's. I bought $26.99 worth of groceries. When I offered two $20 bills, the cashier said, "Oh! You have cash?" I said, "Yes, is that a problem?" She answered, "No, but you are definitely in the minority."

It's not like I had bought a thousand dollars worth of stuff and was handing her a wad of 100 dollar bills... I told her outright, "I spend less when I use cash." and she said, "Well, that's a reason for using it, I guess."

Interesting..

[Yarrow]

And do you think that I should be doing all the grocery shopping and errand running too?

I think it's the very least he can do to make a contribution.

BUT he's not making a contribution - he is making unnecessary trips, not returning things, yet buying more unneeded things - this all according to your OP. He is draining you of your financial resources and causing you stress....that is NOT a contribution. Better for you to stop by the store on your way home from work and pick up exactly what is needed and no more.

Really, frugalone, I am obviously on your side! I've seen this type of relationship before. You need to protect yourself and your finances, because he certainly won't.

[Teacher Terry]

If he is not working etc he may be suffering from depression & may need meds/counseling,etc. Worth a try to examine it & talk to him about it. If not he needs to at least get some type of P.T. job to contribute.

[MaryHu]

On another note, I just got back from Trader Joe's. I bought $26.99 worth of groceries. When I offered two $20 bills, the cashier said, "Oh! You have cash?" I said, "Yes, is that a problem?" She answered, "No, but you are definitely in the minority."

It's not like I had bought a thousand dollars worth of stuff and was handing her a wad of 100 dollar bills... I told her outright, "I spend less when I use cash." and she said, "Well, that's a reason for using it, I guess."

I too do a lot of shipping with cash. Our favorite grocery store (Winco) doesn't take credit cards which is one of the reasons for their low prices. At my job I see how much it costs to take credit cards.

I run the twice yearly used book sales for our friends of the library group here. The last hour of the sale is "buck a bag". I can't tell you how many people write a check for $1.00! It always amazes me that people don't have a single dollar in their pockets. I'm dreading the day when companies start deciding not to take cash anymore.

And don't get me started on what happens when the cashier puts the wrong tendered amount into the register and has to try and figure out the change him or her self! They go completely tharn like a deer caught in the headlights. If there's no line and I have the time I'll teach them how to count up from the purchase price to the tendered amount. Why don't companies teach that anymore? It happens so often that they need to know this.

[ToomuchStuff]

I too do a lot of shipping with cash. Our favorite grocery store (Winco) doesn't take credit cards which is one of the reasons for their low prices. At my job I see how much it costs to take credit cards.

I run the twice yearly used book sales for our friends of the library group here. The last hour of the sale is "buck a bag". I can't tell you how many people write a check for $1.00! It always amazes me that people don't have a single dollar in their pockets. I'm dreading the day when companies start deciding not to take cash anymore.

And don't get me started on what happens when the cashier puts the wrong tendered amount into the register and has to try and figure out the change him or her self! They go completely tharn like a deer caught in the headlights. If there's no line and I have the time I'll teach them how to count up from the purchase price to the tendered amount. Why don't companies teach that anymore? It happens so often that they need to know this.

I've seen people write a check for a quarter at a friends restaurant, for a refill; it doesn't surprise me. Quicktrip, a regional convienence store chain, does lots of transactions for just under to just over a dollar for refills and such and they take plastic for them. (I don't get that) Then again, at that restaurant, they have it marked four places cash and credit only, the first on the front door, where the accepted type of card stickers are (or used to) go, and people still ignore it or read it and hand them a card.
Both reading and math (the ability to make change) should NOT be happening at the workplace, it should be learned in school, before this. The lack of cursive, where people had to learn a standard form, and then learn to decipher differences as time goes on, due to handwriting, in my mind, has caused the major downgrading of spelling. (all this was seen one day), Saw a kid take an order at the restaurant, on the phone, and the name they wrote was Tarene and when the guy got there, he said the name he gave was Ron.

[onlinemoniker]

I can't tell you how many people write a check for $1.00! It always amazes me that people don't have a single dollar in their pockets.


I don't have a single dollar in my pocket. I don't even have cash for toll roads. Which is good bc I don't take toll roads.