The old lady next door - is missing...

I've mentioned our next door neighbor here a few times. She's an older woman (I'd thought maybe mid-80's but learned today that she's actually a very feisty 93.) She grows really pretty roses and other flowers/plants and delicious tomatoes. And used to have a little old man dog named Max who passed away about a year ago. We see her all the time because the quantity of plants she has means that she spends a lot of time outside taking care of them. Plus she never goes anywhere except things like the grocery store. The entire three years we've lived here I don't think she's ever been gone overnight and we've never seen guests of any sort other than a social worker that comes about once a month. And she's never mentioned family to us or any of our neighbors.

About a week ago I realized it'd been a few days since I'd seen her, and her car wasn't in her driveway. On Sunday she still hadn't made an appearance so one of our neighbors who has been a "stop and chat with her whenever she's outside" kind of acquaintance for the last ten years, rang our doorbell and asked if we knew anything because she was worried. I started watering her plants that day (everything was super dry and the tomato plants are pretty seriously wilted although the tomatoes are still growing fine). Neighbor apparently called all the hospitals in the county and didn't find her. Two other neighbors have also come by, worried. One of them apparently called the police because they were poking around this morning. SO went out and talked to them and also brought them through our house so they could poke around neighbor's backyard and peer in the windows. Apparently she's not in any hospital in the area, and there aren't any unidentified bodies at the morgue.

So I dug through the last 10 days of ring camera video and the last time she had been out watering plants was last Monday evening, ten days ago. I'm terribly worried about her and wish there were more I could do than worry.

I don't blame you. I'd be really worried too! How odd. Nothing seems awry at her house? Not broken into? I hope she shows soon. And that she shares any family contact info with you in case of emergency.

So clue if her car is in the garage or if she’s even home? Can you tell if any mail or newspapers have been picked up or do you have mail boxes where you can’t see that?

She always parks in the driveway. I’ve only seen glimpses in the garage but it’s obviously way too full of ‘stuff’ for her to park in. Mailboxes are the group type and have random numbers so we wouldn’t be able to tell from that. And no, the cops inspected all the windows, doors, etc of her unit and nothing seemed amiss.

I’d assumed she drove herself to the ER at first since that would be her style but apparently that’s not the case.

Based on the street numbers it makes sense that our mailbox is number 12, which means that neighbor would be 13. I got the mail today and there’s nothing sticking out of her box. I suppose I could try and go there while the mail delivery person is there tomorrow and peer into her box to see how full it is.

Weird. Honestly, I find it strange that a 93 old woman is living there and none of you know any contact information for her relatives, that is, unless she has zero relatives. But usually people have someone – a nephew, a cousin, someone.

Our 90+ year old neighbor took herself off to assisted-living last year,
after her little dog died. She was familiar with the place because she played bingo with them so she already knew many people who live there.


The old guy across the street who died at 102 years old had no children, but his next-door neighbor checked on him daily. In fact, that neighbor was just waiting for the really old guy to die and once the old guy did die, that neighbor up and moved away.

If there is contact info for someone the HOA knows. Once a year the management company sends out a form about that. I just filled it out a couple of weeks ago. For us they know to contact my sister or SO’s sister in the event of something like this. One of the neighbors who has gotten involved in this is on the board so I’m sure she’s on it figuring out if neighbor had given any contact info.

Hope she turns up soon, and ok, jp1! Reminds me that I don't know our neighbors at all now - everyone who lived close when we moved here 33 years ago has moved on, one way or another, and we've just not connected with any of the "new" (past 15 yrs or so) people. About 25 yrs ago we met our rather reclusive elderly neighbor lady across the road when her personal alarm company called us to go check on her. We had no idea who she was, or that she'd put us down as her emergency contact - or that she even knew our names! After we broke into her home, feeling really strange about it, and got her up and moving- she told us that she'd seen us in the yard, and as we were by far the youngest neighboring family, figured we'd still be around if she needed help (she was estranged from her own family). She asked her visiting nurse who we were, and she asked another neighbor, and they looked us up in the phone book. Which was fine, we were happy to help - but a word of warning and a hint as to where her spare key was would have been really useful!

Our little block composed mostly of folks over 60 has an annual potluck dinner and holiday open house. Everyone seems to know what everyone else is up to and inquires if something seems off. It's funny but the few younger folks who have moved in want nothing to do with all these old people so never show up. I would think it might be time to do a well check on your elderly neighbor one more time - she may have passed away inside.

I think her car is gone? So maybe she did not pass away inside? I hear you about the younger people--we are pretty reclusive but it is because when we came here, I was so overwhelmed with my parents I could not take care of another soul.