Move to a cheaper state?

Hi, my husband & I are considering moving out of the state (CA) to his hometown of Colorado Springs, CO because of the high cost of living here. My children and grandchildren are here but our rental is getting more and more expensive with less upkeep. We both are retired. We don't want to go back to work to just live here, but moving seems equally difficult. I guess my question is, has anyone else done this to save money and still been able to remain close to their children? In some ways it would be an adventure. thanks!

Well there are also cheaper and more expensive parts of CA (in terms of housing costs, the taxes are what they are), which becomes a lot easier to negotiate if you don't have to be somewhere that actually has jobs.

Have you tried looking at less expensive cities, like in the central valley, or some of the more rural areas in CA? Or less expensive housing options like a manufactured home?

My in-laws moved out of state and one of the kids asked why didn't they just move to some place less expensive like Grass Valley. They could have seen a lot more of their grandkids over the years. We have visited many nice little towns on vacation. If you don't have to work near the major job markets it opens up a lot more places for consideration.

Prices in Sacramento and the outskirts are not too bad for California, it is a decent size city, the Bay Area and all its museums and tourist attractions are just an hour away, and you can even take the train to visit back and forth.

Here is a list of home prices by county -

http://www.dqnews.com/charts/monthly-charts/ca-city-charts/zipcar.aspx

Lots of reasons to get out of CA and high real estate costs is one of them.

Well, to me, being close to family is priceless. I know that with many families that isn't always the case, but if you and your family value the relationship you have, and you see each other often and you enjoy those moments, if it were me, I'd try to stay. I've already threatened my kids that if I can't afford my house at some stage I'm buying a Tumbleweed House on a trailer and setting up in each of their backyards for three months at a time (I have four kids). In terms of being able to stay close, three my kids moved to VT, and we of course talk on the phone, but honestly, too much time typically elapses before we realize it's been a couple of weeks since we've talked. As a result, all jokes aside, part of my retirement plan is being able to move back and forth. I'll be the opposite of a snowbird--I'll flit northward between NJ and VT instead of southward NJ to FL. Based on my own experience, I wouldn't count on having the same quality of relationship with your kids if you move away from them.

As you alluded to, the other issue is physically moving. Yes, it can be a daunting task. However if that's what you want to do, it may be a great way to just "get affairs in order" for the second half of your life.

I guess it depends on the weight you give each factor: proximity to kids; comfort with ability to sustain yourself during retirement at your current savings rate; desire to be able just kick back vs. work part-time just to be able to stay there. Another factor is, how badly does your DH want to be near his family?

Part of the solution may be looking at your life outside the traditional framework. What about finding a cheaper rental elsewhere as your home base and then, doing a regular tour to visit - use a small trailer or offer to housesit in the neighbourhood for friends and family as needed to stay close to family members.

Look for alternate arrangements that are possible. I have always thought that family should be free to live, move and work where the opportunities arise and the parents live their own lives with flexibility as needed worked into the equation.

Cathy - I feel for you. I live in the Bay Area and we sometimes dream of selling out and living off the proceeds - my husband is from Pueblo, CO, and he'd like to live there.

I feel pretty rooted here, not only socially but in the soil, the landscape, the weather.

We have multiple plans for the future. One scenario involves using our town's low-cost senior housing (55+). They are quite nice townhouses, you can have pets, get your own garden, etc. Is there anything like that where you live? We are on the list - we are not planning on moving there (I have a teenager at home!) but when she grows up and out and if one of us is left alone, it is our back up plan. (One of them.)

I'm trying to find (and failing) the story about the older woman who built a small home in the backyard of one of her kid's houses. Very cool. Would you consider living with your kids?

I have and am faced with moving often, away from family. It has always tore me apart. Similar but different, one time years ago(when I watched tv) on Dr.Phil, a couple was struggling with moving away to advance. Dr Phil asked if she would stop her loved one if they had to move for money, choice of area. Would she understand or stand in their way? Would they not move to stay by her? I try to remember that, but it is so hard, I understand what you are saying.

The only thing is will you like where your husband grew up? You probably have visited there if family is still there? We moved to a lower cost area and moved back. The culture was not for us. Now we are back and happy again...just a thought. Chris

There is no substitute for loving where you live, for whatever reason you love it. If one of the most important things to you is watching your grandchildren grow up, find another solution to being close to them physically- maybe some extra distance where housing is cheaper, a cohousing solution, etc. This is unless the children/grandchildren are also considering moving and would remove your primary reason for living your area of CA in the first place. Have you had a chat with your children? What do they think?
As for my perspective, my parents moved far away from their parents and I did not have a close relationship to any of my grandparents. My sister moved far away from my parents, her in-laws and me, and it's not a terribly close relationship with her kid. Skype only goes so far with a 3 year old, after all.
The one friend I have whose parents and siblings are somewhat close to her children is a teacher who takes the kids back to her hometown for the bulk of the summer, and has every year. Her mom comes to visit a couple of times a year as well and stays for a few weeks each time. That friend purposely lives far away from her family because she is gay and could not be free to be herself if she lived in their area.
If there's some sort of inexpensive way for you to spend large amounts of time with your children and grandchildren then maybe. It may be possible, for example, for the grandkids to visit for the bulk of the summer when they are out of school. Otherwise, see if there's a workable solution closer to where they live. If you're sick of CA for various other reasons or have always wanted to live in CO for other reasons, then you might have more to think about.