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open letter to my friends: I love you all, but I don't want to be responsible for being the social planner *all* the time. The emails noting that "it's been so long since we've gotten together" are hints for me to start the email chain to figure out when/where/what.
I'm stepping back. It's not that hard to say "I read a review of a great restaurant - let's try it on the 14th, who wants to meet there at 6 pm?" instead of - "I'd like to meet up, you tell me when and where. ..."
Nope, your turn!
This roommate experiment is not working...I finally fell asleep at 4am only to be woken up by roommate and her new friend leaving for work at 5:45 this morning. She's not a bad person at all, but our lifestyles are too different and I am a very sensitive sleeper. My house has very creaky wood floors and stairs and squeaky doors. Bad things happen to my psyche when I don't get enough sleep; I've been drinking WAAAAAY too much coffee so I can function at work. I don't like how my time in my house is being challenged because she's sleeping in after being out super-late. It means I can't play my guitar in the morning, or work on my jewelry (noisy pounding). I am not looking forward to having a talk with her, as I do like her a lot. It's just a major difference in lifestyles ~ she is 15 years younger than me and is kind of a party girl. I am 51 and I cannot. I have to be very careful about the lack of sleep thing as I can start getting a little hypo-manic and really run myself ragged trying to keep everything going. And we are heading into retail hell season; I HAVE to be able to function at work. I need to reclaim my sanctuary. $250 a month is starting not to seem worth it. I have to be at work at 2:30 this afternoon. Now I am going to waste a perfectly good stretch of morning time trying to get some sleep so I can function later.
SQ, it sounds like the "roommate experiment" is not working out with this roommate. If you got someone who wasn't so much of a "partier" or someone on a similar work schedule, I'm guessing it would work out far better for you. Good luck! I know what you mean about having to get enough sleep; DSD finally moved out of the house after a few months and accommodating her early-to-bed and the slamming screen door every work morning at 6 was -- well, I'm glad she's in her own house now. :)
Squirrels in the crawl space. Grrrr.
Lainey I definitely understand!! I'm always in the same situation! Why is it that people can't just pick a date and pick a time and make it happen! On a related note, if I organize a dinner outing and make reservations to go to a restaurant, please don't cancel last minute or worse yet not show up at all and think it's "okay" to do that, especially to a friend or co-worker!Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainey
uh, dude? Your sister calls to ask if she & her clan can come to stay overnight on Christmas Day, you aren't even going to be here days prior to that, and you said yes? Without even talking to me? Who do you think is going to clean the filthy carpet that you INSIST we must keep? Where are the 3 sets of dogs (who poo, pee, fight and spread blood all around) who must be separated going to stay with all of these people in the house? Who is going to clean this place? This is holiday time, you don't just get housecleaners in or shlepp 4 dogs off to a kennel this time of year, they are full up.
Monday
To the world at large (well, I have a targeted person in mind)
I know that "rescue" is currently fashionable and a "rescue dog" is the thing to have. But please be honest, if you buy a puppy from a breeder, that is not "rescue" and don't represent it as such. Own up to buying a puppy from a breeder. It's not a sin, it's not against the law. Just don't insult me by giving a long story about how you "rescued " a puppy. No you didn't, you put $500 in the pocket of a backyard breeder whose sole purpose in dog breeding is to make money.
Oh and by the way, if you breed that puppy as you are talking about, I WILL be shunning you.
We went into a little boutique pet store yesterday to buy a bully stick for our Frenchie. With our Frenchie. The lady at the counter told us, "Oh, the owner breeds those. Want another puppy? You can come into the back and see them."
Uh, no. I don't want to see a puppy mill operation in the back of a pet store. Ours truly was a rescue, and we feel good about the home we've given him despite people like YOU, pet store owner lady.
But really, I'm feeling the sting of having to pay for a vacation I didn't really want at all. Grumpy that my FIL booked us a beach condo in Florida, halfway across the country, proud that he's paying for it for us. But we still have to fly, rent a car, take a hundred dollars in ferries, buy groceries at jacked-up resort prices, and pay the credit card bill when it comes in with $2000 we can't afford on it. I should've found some diplomatic way to say no thanks, but I didn't think. (kicking self)
I don't know as there's a diplomatic way to refuse such a gift, but maybe you can tell FiL that you're very pleased he thought of you with such a (air-quotes) generous gift, but that when you toted up all the costs you would have to incur, you found you really cannot afford to do it, what with the impending refrigerator purchase and all?Quote:
Originally Posted by puglogic
People who had a dog, who they leave outside and uncared for and are now divorcing and cannot "afford" the dog. The house is $450,000, with 3 cars in the driveway and a house full o'crap. Umm..yeah..thanks for allowing me to foster this beautiful creature. And may you NEVER have another animal in your life.
Bless you, MamaM, for what you do, and thanks, Steve, for the thoughts. Too late to change anything now, but next time I'll try to be more on the ball.....Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaM
People like that tend to view their animals with about the same value they place on their houseful of crap. Couldn't live without "it" when they got it, but easily thrown away when it's inconvenient, or they just don't have the urge to have it any more. Never occurs to them it's a living thing they have a responsibility toward. I have scary urges to hit people like that over the head with heavy objects daily. (would never do it, but my daydreams are vivid)
pug, I am sending you Frenchie Love today.
Thanks, I.L. His little head is finally starting to widen and he's getting chunkier. So adorable at this stage, makes me such a grumpy protective dog-mama.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iris lily
I have lived in some pretty icky places all so I could keep my dog(s) and cat(s). I did what I had to do to keep us together as a family. I have a 119lb dog. I go through $120 worth of food/medications/shampoos a month. Probably around $50 for the cat. I give up fancy shoes, a new car, fancy house stuff because I love my animals. People and pets are not disposable.
What kind of a person comes into the library and asks to have their address written down for them?
They are living locally, sure, to attend the college. But how could you not know your address?
Why do people have to bring their sick children to public places? My boys and I were at the library when another kid got sick. Grandma said, "Oh no, not again." Fast forward two days, and we're all sick. I'm peeved and bitter.
To a certain someone at work, to quote Raymond Carver:
Will you please stop talking? please
Just SHUT UP and stop yakking about yourself!
To a co-worker: you left me a voice-mail message with an urgent request when I was gone for the day. When I returned, I worked it first thing in the a.m. and then sent you an email explaining status, upon which you replied, "don't worry, I figured it out and got it done while you were gone."
Thanks - that's 20 minutes that I wouldn't have wasted if you'd sent me a 10-second follow-up message. Simple etiquette, people !!
Geez, my old boss has a new job?? :0!Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainey
My next paycheck I will have only worked 3 days, THREE DAYS out of a two week pay period. My fall happened on my "Monday", the start of my work week that week...
On a brighter note however; I've saved some money because of not smoking...I'm on day 10 :)
Good for you SiouzQ :)Quote:
Originally Posted by SiouzQ.
Go, SQ, go!!
Not sure where to put this, but today I am feeling bad because I have caused someone hurt who doesn't deserve it and there is nothing I can really do about it. I finally, finally confirmed to myself for once and for all that it is better to be alone than be with the wrong person, even if they are sweet and kind and did nothing glaringly wrong. It has taken me a long time to admit to myself that I don't (and won't) have the same kind of feelings for this person as he does for me, and now I believe he is finally, FINALLY getting it. He posts EVERYTHING on FB but cryptically...his posts from this morning are sad and I know he knows I am seeing them. And I hate knowing I caused him to feel the pain of a hope dying.
Yet on the other hand, I finally feel free of this 9 month long questioning of myself and my feelings toward him and figured out I just can't force myself to be in a relationship with this man. He is a good person and I hate knowing that at times, because of my own confusion about the situation, I wasn't very graceful or communicative. He didn't deserve that but in the past few months I have made it pretty clear that I wasn't able to make the kind of commitment he was hoping for...
SQ, I'm glad you finally were able to arrive at a conclusion several of us saw when you mentioned this relationship some time ago. As the book (sort of) said, you just weren't that into him. There's no foul and no wrong in that and you were smart to avoid further commitment while you figured this out. As I recall, your suitor appeared content to wait until you realized what you wanted (though I'm sure he wanted the decision to be different). Breaking up is not easy, but now both of you are free to find relationships which are better fits. It just isn't you for him or him for you. Good for you for finding the strength.
And, in later news, a peeve of my own:
As DW and I were going through our "stuff" with our financial planner, we determined that some pension information had not yet been updated to include DW. So I contacted that employer and asked what I had to do. I was told that I needed to provide a copy of our marriage certificate -- but that since I was not updating this information during our first year of marriage, I would have to provide additional documentation (!). Some of the acceptable proof wasn't going to happen, like adding DW's name to the mortgage. But they would accept utility bills in both our names.
So I called up Xcel Energy and the local water utility and asked to add DW's name to the bills. Done. One call each, no delays, no questions beyond how DW's name was spelled. They asked for no proof at all. I probably could have told them my wife's name was Katherine Upton and they would have been fine to type that into their computers. So in the next month or so, I will receive utility bills in my and "Kate's" names and these will be submitted to my former employer as "proof" of our marriage.
Ridiculous.
peeve of the day today:
Cookies and how I can not control myself around themcow-hi
I am spineless. Totally.
Steve, that does seem ridiculous.Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveinMN
The corporation I work for went through a similar exercise about 5 years ago in requiring proof of legal relationships for insurance reasons. Seems like a lot of people "forgot" to delete their kids from the policy when they became of age, or had actually gotten divorced but kept the -ex on their policy. Lots of people were removed from insurance rolls when this audit was done.
I know that bureaucracies create the rules they do out of overreaction to particular situations. It's easier to create a rule than to examine a situation and deal with transgressors individually and thoughtfully. I get that (though I don't like it). I can see an audit exposing a lack of controls over the eligibility of people, especially for expensive benefits like insurance.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainey
It just gets me that it is pretty much no barrier to provide the additional (but required) documentation they want to verify a marriage certificate (a certified copy of which I also must provide). Useless hoops. And further proof that the private sector can be fully as screwed up as any government.
The neighbor has taken to floodlighting his house and keeping all the inside lights on well into the night. I'm not sure why, and I usually have my head under a pillow anyway, but--like everything else he does--it's inconsiderate and annoying.
What can you do with a person who says, "I don't know if I told you this story before, but..." and starts into said story. I reply, "Yes! I do remember when you told me about that! It sounded just awful!"
Then they proceed to tell you the story AGAIN. WTH?!
frugalone,
sounds like what happened to me when I went to big chain bookstore tonight. I know the cashiers are required to offer you the spiel about their membership card, but I already have a membership. When I went to the counter the cashier robotically asked, like he'd asked the 5 people in front of me, do you have a membership card? I said Yes, and pointed to the card I'd just laid on the counter. He then said, Would you like to save 10% with a membership? I said, again, I already have one, and pointed to my card again.
At this point he blinked his eyes and came back to life, so to speak, and shook his head and apologized.
Slow down, service workers, and listen to what your customer is saying, and life is better for both of us.
The pathetic and sad state of affairs this forum has become! i.e. Total lack of participation and involvement by members other than about a dozen of us regulars.
As of today, a regular I am no longer.
Every damn meal I drop silverware on the floor. Or food. Klutzyville.
My peeve for the week: people who can't see the forest for the trees. At my job, I need to see both the details *and* the big picture. That's part of what makes it interesting. But I am constantly mediating/doing battle between the detail-oriented and the big picture focused. They speak different languages!
Kara
:( In my opinion these things ebb and flow, so please don't stray too far away!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs-M
I'll echo what Lainey says. It seems that participation is lower in the good weather months. I take it as a sign that people are getting up from their computers and going outside, which isn't a bad thing. Boycotting participation on the site only diminishes the value for those who do regularly participate and facilitates a downward spiral. Please stick around Mrs M!
The retail world is irritating me lately. The local gas station raised prices for a car wash, and it didn't even get the car clean. Bought two boxes of tissue from Trader Joe's and they were so rough you could practically sandpaper the walls with them. Tried a new brand of hard cider and a new type of cheese and they were both totally unappetizing.
Also, how come the police never seem to be around when people are driving like maniacs?
And sometimes I irritate myself...I hate changing the sheets and always put it off too long. Today I was so proud of myself for getting it done, looked around for the pillowcases as the last step...and realized I had put on an old pair of sheets I kept for back-up after the cases got ruined, absent-mindedly ignoring the nice new set that was right there in the linen closet. Sigh.
I'm having a bit of irritable rage I need to talk myself down from right now. It all started when I decided to drive my new car down to a blues jam I used to go to sing at pretty regularly. Tonight I just felt like driving my new car, as I had a rare Sunday night off (except that I have been up since 4am and worked from 6am until 2:30) and I've been trying to be at least a little social. This is what happens when my shift changes - my eating schedule gets all screwy because I can't eat anything before work at 5:30am as it makes me a little nauseous to eat that early. So I had some granola and fruit around 9am, some almonds and apricots around 1pm. So when I got home at 4:00 after running a few errands after work I was really hungry and made a cheese omelette and PB toast. So was that "breakfast" for lunch or dinner? Consequently, I never made dinner because I wanted to go to the blues jam. I get there and have one beer and was kind of hungry so I am perusing the menu but I didn't feel like spending a bunch of money on a real dinner so I ordered deep-fried pickles-WTF? They were $5.99 and I basically got three deep-fried pickles spears cut into a couple of chunks. Was I ever pissed off - what a rip-off! I ate them because I was hungry but I complained to the waitress, who really couldn't do anything about it but I asked her to please tell the manager or owner that their price on this appetizer wasn't at all worth it and I felt ripped off. I told her I would never order food there again. The weird thing is I feel so much anger at wasting this money in the first place and I can't let it go for some reason...I think a lot of it could be hormonal but I still can't let it go. Why didn't I feel this sense of outrage when I'd waste $6 on a pack of cigarettes?
Come to think of it, I don't think I put a nicotine patch on today...hmmmm...