Explaining SLing and minimalism to others...

What triggers people to ask about my lifestyle? Lots of little things. I don't fret about getting a raise like others do. For lunches, I bring a loaf of bread and jars of PB&J for lunches or sweet potatoes to "bake" in the microwave or beans & rice.

Sometimes a trigger can be the clear absence of my contributions in a conversation, like about shopping, cars, or TV. Often people ask me about celebrities or TV shows and such. I am oblivious. This happens a lot with "the news." I steer clear of the news whenever I can. It is depressing propaganda.

My SL/minimalism comes up sometimes around social activities like going to lunch or happy hour or going to bars or clubs on weekends. I am teetotal -- which makes my life simpler! haha. But when asked about going to bars or clubs I have no idea what people are talking about. When most people are at bars on Friday night I am out fishing.

These things tip people off to my life and then they ask questions.

I think I would just answer their questions simply an honestly.

"I don't drink and I enjoy spending my evening fishing."

We went to a movie yesterday (big event!) there was a commercial with some famous guy whose name I can't remember even though they said it a bunch of times. Dh looked at me with his amused face and said "you have no idea who that is, do you?" and I said "nope.". Dh told me he's a soccer star.

My coworkers are used to me having no idea whom or what they are talking about. They are also used to my sweet potato, rice w/veggie, bread and apple lunches and appallingly non-trendy clothing. (I dress like the little kids - classic jeans and a school t-shirt). As for activities, I often just say " I don't do that.". Sometimes coworkers who have known me a long time will answer for me. Sometimes they will come by and say " hey, I wanted to tell you, so-and-so wanted to invite you to xyz, but we told her you don't do that.". And I say " thanks!" - for sparing me the conversation and for letting me know I was thought of.

"Simply and honestly." I like it! haha

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kestra

if none of us are willing to talk about SL then it will remain this hidden, unusual thing. If we want to get other people onboard then we have to talk about it sometimes.

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Maybe it's just me, but I really don't care if other people "get it". In fact, it kind of works in my favor that others out there are buying new so I can buy used; enjoying toys (campers, cabins, etc.) they then share with me; trying the new restaurants we don't get to anymore. I mean, FI is great and the planet would be much better off if we didn't have a world economy powered by consumption. But if someone wants to work until they're 70 because they have to have a new truck every four years or they toss worn clothing like I would toss a used tissue, well, we all make our choices. I've made mine and am the happier for them.

I suppose we're not so much minimalists as just simple-livers. Our house does not look empty. I wear the same generic kinds of shirts my friends wear. I'm toting an iPhone 6 (bought refurbished and outright) right now, but that should last me until iPhone 8s or 9s are a "thing" years from now. Reading up on popular culture is free, so I can at least not look oblivious when people talk about the latest blockbuster movie or viral YouTube video. And I've had other experiences: I had a good chance to see a big chunk of this world some years ago and that can be a conversation starter/prolonger.

Frankly, I spend most of my time in conversations asking the others questions. My experience is that most people can chat for hours about their own interests and that deflects from what I may not have:

Them: "Did you see that new Marvel superhero movie, Agents of O.R.A.N.G.E.??"
Me: "No, I haven't. Isn't that the one with Reiner Wolfcastle in it?"
Them: "Yeah!"
Me: "Have you seen it? Did you like it?"

They're happy to hold forth. Maybe I'll mention another movie Wolfcastle was in that I have seen. They don't need to know that Redbox at $1 a pop is our movie friend and it will be weeks/months until (or if) we ever see the movie. That we don't spend >$100 a month on cable or Netflix or ... whatever. That the extra $800 we're not spending on high-end cable every year is another mortgage payment for us.

It's worked for us so far. Maybe I'm a lousy ambassador for the SL/FI movement. But I do tell people that sometimes you have to decide what you want to spend your money on and, for us, that was the flexibility to chase our muses. Most people seem to envy that a little. Then they drive home in their new Acura SUVs to their big houses and 60" TVs. We all make our choices.

Love this great response SteveinMN! The common thread through all of these comments are it all comes down to choices. You just have to decide what makes you happiest. Freedom or buying the latest trend.

I work with a woman who talks a lot about stuff - cars, jewelry etc. She will be 65 and plans to work here until she drops dead as she has absolutely no savings. I try when I can to explain to her that the new SUV she just financed might be one reason. Not in a condescending way but as a suggestion. She just does not want to get the concept as I imagine most people don't. I really don't talk about living simply to others - I'm just glad we all have choice in the matter to follow that path.

pinkytoe:

What do you think it is that makes a person want to live like that? The stuff -- cars, jewelry, and the culture of total work?

Someday it will dawn on that woman that she won't be able to work forever. That will be a sad day because age, illness, etc often happen. Most people plan to work way longer the studies show then they actually do. Some have to retire to care for an ill spouse.

Well, she'll have some social security to live on. Maybe then she'll downsize and pawn the jewelry...? :/

The only thing worse then being "old" is being " old & poor."