What have you given up...

A. Gave up a cute little retro house in Austin with a massive yard and massive property taxes for a very comfy house with a better climate and much lower property taxes in another state.
B. That same decision has put a great distance between us and our grandchildren who were born as surprises after we moved. A profound sadness there...

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Originally Posted by catherine

Thanks for your responses! Rosa, I don't remember seeing the picture of Old Mother Hubbard's Cupboard! I'd love to see a re-post.

I'm not surprised at the responses of giving up corporate jobs/more money/benefit for more time in retirement! After all, we are all YMOLer's! My version of that is being glad I gave up corporate life for the life of a freelancer. I get almost the same benefits--in fact it's kind of the best of both worlds because I can refuse projects if I wish to.

In terms of compromises I wish I had not compromised on, there are situations in my life where I should have done a better job of protecting my own interests, and I won't be specific... many of you will be able to guess what I mean. Now that I'm older, I see more clearly the importance of fighting for holding on to what you value. Being flexible and accommodating is a worthy idea, but there is a downside to feeling that at times you didn't hold true to personal principles.

As sweetana said, no regrets really. I just want to slap myself upside the head and move on.

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Catherine: let's see if this works: http://www.simplelivingforum.net/sho...ard#post288781

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Originally Posted by rosarugosa

Catherine: let's see if this works: http://www.simplelivingforum.net/sho...ard#post288781

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rosa, what will go on the wall where the cabinet now sits?

I won’t yell at you about getting rid of that cabinet because I know you’ve thought long and hard about it. And I got rid of all of my 1941 cabinets in this house, so who am I to talk? we moved our kitchen from one side of the house to the other, cabinets were not nice and couldnt be moved anyway.

But that old cupboard is nice and it’s beautiful in its white paint.

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Originally Posted by rosarugosa

Catherine: let's see if this works: http://www.simplelivingforum.net/sho...ard#post288781

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Edited... I misunderstood your intentions!! Very exciting-- I am sure you have come up with a beautiful design for your kitchen! Can't wait to see a picture of the result!

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Originally Posted by catherine

Well, I think you know me well enough to know that I'm happy that you have decided to peacefully co-exist with it! It has a lot of character and probably goes well with your home (I love what I can see in the rest of the picture--the sink and the blue gingham). It looks practical, too, with the combination of cupboards and drawers. Please don't trade it in for greige or black shaker cabinets!!! Don't get me wrong--I like shaker cabinets, but I love character and well-loved and lived-in patina more!

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She’s not keeping the cupboard.

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Originally Posted by iris lilies

She’s not keeping the cupboard.

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Oops...

Hmmm... I don't know that I like the terms "given up". I've made "choices" throughout my life. Some good and some bad, but always the best I could personally make at the time I needed to make them. It's always so much easier to look at things in retrospect and declare a "good or bad", but the good thing about making choices is that - if you make what turns out to be a bad one, you usually have the opportunity to make another one to fix or change the results of the previous. Cause and effect.... it's all pretty continuous.

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Originally Posted by happystuff

Hmmm... I don't know that I like the terms "given up". I've made "choices" throughout my life. Some good and some bad, but always the best I could personally make at the time I needed to make them. It's always so much easier to look at things in retrospect and declare a "good or bad", but the good thing about making choices is that - if you make what turns out to be a bad one, you usually have the opportunity to make another one to fix or change the results of the previous. Cause and effect.... it's all pretty continuous.

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Thanks, happystuff... with all due respect, almost every choice we makes involves a "giving up"--you decide to get married, you give up total independence. You decide to work for "the man" and you give up following a creative passion. I think it's all about compromise. The question is, how do determine how to compromise? it's kind of a question of values.

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Originally Posted by catherine

Thanks, happystuff... with all due respect, almost every choice we makes involves a "giving up"--you decide to get married, you give up total independence. You decide to work for "the man" and you give up following a creative passion. I think it's all about compromise. The question is, how do determine how to compromise? it's kind of a question of values.

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I understand what you are saying. I guess it can be a matter of perspective and definitely a matter of timing.

I'm not viewing giving something up as a permanent/forever condition. One can get married and not have total independence during that marriage (keeping it simple here), but can then get divorced or widowed or whatever and end up having total independence. One can work for "the man" and still put effort into following a creative passion... it may not be followed with 100% time, effort, resources, etc. but can still be followed. And even that could change as one's financial situation changes or time constraints change. (i.e. winning the lottery or retirement)

I guess I see the making of these life choices as not necessarily totally "giving up" something, but instead as choosing one thing over another at this particular point in time. The choice not selected may end up being obtained later or one may determine it wasn't that important after all and simply let it go.

(sorry, don't know if this makes sense or not. Definitely food for thought as far as past life choices made and future life choices still to be made).

I remember one huge turning point in my life, a fork in the road of life.

I was sitting with my then boyfriend on a beautiful sunset lit terrace in Taos, New Mexico, very picturesque as you can imagine. The food, the wine, the company was wonderful. We had a great relationship, I was happy and in love. And as I was enjoying it all, a voice inside my head said, clearly, simultaneously, “… this is not enough. “ That voice expressing that sentiment was crystal clear.

Within the year I moved across states to a new job that was more challenging than the one I had. I was ready for more adventure, because I reached the apotheosis of life in that former place. So I gave up a boyfriend for work and you know what, it was the right decision, but I certainly gave up one thing to gain another thing.

as I look back across decades on the decision, I see that it was made with the optimism of youth. I sat there in Taos with the confidence that I could achieve another phase of life that was just as good, if not better. And I did, so that is good, but also lucky.