I need your thoughts again--this time on Spirituality

I don't usually think of it in those terms, but I guess you could say that I find my spirituality in nature. I think connection with and protection of the natural world is something essential and much bigger than myself. I have a certain awe and reverence for nature, so in a sense, that is something sacred to me.

My mother came from a Catholic background and my father from a protestant background. His side of the family is crazy religious (IMHO) although he was not. Mom's side was more typically Catholic, not so strongly religious. Both my parents had a strong belief in a Christian god but not much of a strong church affiliation. I went to Catholic church and Sunday school from about ages 6 - 11. When I was 11, our teacher asked us to write an essay proving there was a god, and that was the first time I gave the matter really deep thought. I concluded that there was really no good reason to believe in a god, wrote an essay outlining my conclusions, and left the church at that point. My parents were open-minded enough to let me make these choices for myself, and I remember that I had to let my teacher know that I would no longer be attending CCD classes because that was the courteous thing to do. I'm very satisfied with where I've landed, and I've seen nothing in the subsequent 56 years to make me question the conclusions reached by my 11 YO self.

I connect spirituality to religion, and the feeling to justify one's self as better then others, based on my experiences. That's number 1.

2. By having others tell me I am going to hell. Everything from my mom and her church friends proselytizing to me (and my retorts mom doesn't need my medical information, because she has faith).
3. I am agnostic. I would like to think there is life after death, and my grandfather looked out for me as a young kid to teen, because he was in my earliest memory, which was my happy place.
4. Everything from my parents fighting as a kid and grandmother getting involved, trying to get me to choose one church over another, to finding out how many different religions were in my other grandfathers side of the family, and the fighting that related to that, to being told by family I never met (great aunt), that I reminded her of two rapists in the family (well one was a rapist, that owned my biological great grandmother, until he got her pregnant and dropped her off at some convent thingy) and that I am evil and should just die, from her deathbed. (so I am either a soulless bastard. or have an evil soul)
5. Why should I seek this?

Thank you, rosa, and TMS. I appreciate your contributing your thoughts on this, as an atheist and agnostic. Interesting, the different approaches your families took towards accepting your views.

I was raised as a Catholic and attended parochial schools until 4th grade. I think the only positive thing that came from that was that I developed a strong sense of empathy. Do unto others. Guilt is also in there - who can forget Friday night confession? All the other teachings faded away over time though it probably provided a moral base that many kids don't get today. I don't think of it as spirituality but as an old human I am completely awed by the natural world. It makes total sense to me and lifts me up whereas religion seems like stories we have made up over time to explain the mysteries of being here. It creates strife and apparently wars. I am good with where my thoughts are now.

Thanks, pinkytoe. Wow, a lot of ex-Catholics here!

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Originally Posted by catherine

My questions are:

1. What does "spirituality" mean to you? (Again--very broad interpretation, even if you are an atheist, you may have a sense of awe that you would think of as spiritual, or you may have a spiritual connection with nature.)
2. How does spirituality manifest itself in your life?
3. How do you exercise your spiritual muscles and/or practice your religion
4. Tell me about your spiritual journey. How were you influenced by family; at what points did you change your thinking or the way you practice?
5. Are you still seeking in any way, or are you comfortable with where you've landed?

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1. To me, spirituality is that "spirit/essence/etc" within myself that is part of the make-up of who I am and who I may become. It has connections to my emotions, intellect, wants, desires, happiness, despair... basically it is entwined with the rest of my entire being/existence. It is ever-changing based on "me" (my thoughts, my actions, etc.). I am forever exploring it and/or how much control I have over it.

2. As I like to think my spirituality is focused and driven towards "good", I am striving to have it manifest as not a second nature, but as a first nature. I think I have quite a ways to go with this. LOL.

3. Outward practice includes morning prayer sessions (online with others from my temple), weekly class (same), monthly teachings (same) and reading. Inward practice is both analytical and one-point meditations and just trying to choose happiness, kindness and compassion as my predominate attitudes. I like to think I am getting better at quickly recognizing anger or frustration and turning it around to a more positive emotion. For example, frustration from missing the end of a movie I just spent 2.5 hours watching because the puppy rang the bell to go outside. Silly for me to feel that way about a movie when I KNOW the puppy is definitely the priority! Foolish me!

4. I was raised strict Roman Catholic - mass in Latin back then. I went the route of being baptised, confirmed, holy communion, etc. Attended CCD - including two weeks every summer taught by nuns. Eventually taught Sunday school. Then late 70's, when folk masses became a thing, my siblings and I were in church practicing for Sunday's folk mass. One priest was very contrary and I still remember what he said to my older sister: "You don't get to have an opinion about anything until you are 18!".

As for change in thinking, I feel it was gradual and continuous from before I even realized I was actually "questioning". I was always attracted to Native American philosophies and beliefs, as well as many nature-based philosophies. I can never remember a time when my mother was not supportive of alternative beliefs and religions, so there was always encouragement. Then, when my son died, I found no comfort at all in any of the paths of Christianity (was protestant at the time). A friend gifted me attendance to a live teaching by the Dalai Lama that same year and I discovered that a lot of the beliefs I held were actually found in Buddhism.

5. Absolutely still seeking! I view my spirituality as part of myself - to be continually studied, developed and used. Buddhism is sometimes viewed as both a religion and a philosophy. As with most religions, you get out of it what you put into it. I have so much to learn still, but am definitely happy with how far I have come.

That's probably about all worth sharing.

Good luck with it all, catherine!

Great stuff, happystuff! Thank you.

As you know, I dabbled in Buddhism, and still have deep respect for it... hence, my avatar on this site, which is calligraphy by Thich Nhat Hanh. But I never joined a temple.

For me, it's always been a deep and sweet connection with nature..our "Mother" that provides calmness and solace. Not raised in any particular religious orientation, I've found my own way through feminism groups, the Crone movement, being quiet and still in nature--and yes, feeling awe among the old trees and plants of woodland and forest.

I rather despise dogma and think/feel that most organized religion has caused more violence and pain over the centuries than achieved goodness. Somehow "holy" and "war" don't belong together--but they have in the past.

If there's any guiding principle I follow it's the Golden Rule and ahimsa--harm no living thing.

As Bae has said, I think "pagan" covers a lot of my belief system--as does being a nature-centered agnostic--if labels are necessary. Namaste.

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Originally Posted by catherine

Thanks, pinkytoe. Wow, a lot of ex-Catholics here!

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Is there anyone who follows the religious practices of their upbringing?

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Originally Posted by iris lilies

Is there anyone who follows the religious practices of their upbringing?

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I'm wondering the same as well. I was such a devout Catholic up until the time I went college and have wandered through mainline Protestantism and Buddhism, but I have to say, the pilot light of my Catholicism still burns, even though I'm not giving it any gas. Yet, I am turning around slowly back to it for some reason. A lot of humans have twisted and abused Catholicism to suit their purpose, but I think that if I distill the early messages of Christ, and tally up the good that has been done by many of its faithful, it speaks to my heart. I just don't know if I want to re-commit officially. In the meantime I follow some of the saints, and modern theologians and my own practices of meditation and prayer..