How to figure how much?

Lots of parents fund their grown children's problem. Some of this results in parents being unable to retire. Close the bank. They are adults with adult problems, which they need to solve on their own.

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Originally Posted by SteveinMN

I think the answer to your question is that "nothing is constant but change". We always are in changing circumstances, and even well-laid plans need to be altered based on unforeseen circumstances.

... But life changes. There's nothing wrong with a cash-only ethos at any point in life, but it would be easier to sidestep that had we been able to rely on future earning power and credit. We assume none of that now.

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Right, this cash only thing is what Catherine is saying with the present money, future money. That is where I am coming down on this, while still trying to, as one Boglehead poster put it, "invest in family growth and possibilities for each individual." I think that is what i am trying to do, while maintaining the boundaries, or even figuring out where the boundaries are now and will be in the future.

They have definitely shifted from several years ago. All my kids are grown now, so they are launched, and no one is funding their problems, as Glo put it. Not at all. and she is right, you definitely never want to do that!