Most impactful items you have downsized/decluttered/gotten rid of?

this may sound incredibly wasteful but the impact on my life has been enormous. When I divorced, I bought a townhouse. My lawyer said take what I want, he is in no position to complain. But I had this overwhelming desire to walk away from it all and start over. I could not do that right then because of finances and we needed things like beds, but slowly over a decade, I saved cash in an envelope and almost everything got replaced or realized I did not need it. I did not buy expensive things, actually some things I got rid of were nicer than their replacement. I sold some big stuff, donated a ton and by the end of ten years, it felt like my home, totally my home (and the kids').

the only things I kept were an antique watch, the only gift he ever gave me that felt like it had meaning, it worked for like a month, very expensive to repair. DS wants to try to fix it and can't understand why I do not want to let him work on this watch, he goes, "mom, he didn't even buy it. The head of the band held out a handful and told Dad to pick two." so we are down to zero on meaningful gifts, lol. I got a push present for DD, I hate that term. 'Cultured pearls' that he kept stressing were real, with a Macy's sticker on it that said $500, later saw the receipt, $100.They got mixed in with a $20 pair I wore to prom and I cannot tell which is better, lol. I kept the china, which was really casual stuff from England, I always liked it even before I met him, so it stayed. And my wedding rings, I don't think I'd get much if I sold them, I always thought I would give them to DD and she could do what she wanted.

Being able to eventually not have to use our sheets or keep the crappy mattress that he slept on, I cannot explain the feeling. Free, I was free.

Except the wedding dress in the basement and boxes with pictures from when we met til we divorced. I am not dealing with those any time soon, even though that's where the pics of my kids when they were little are. I occasionally dive in for one of those.

Ultralight, I commend you for getting rid of all those pictures, wasn't it extremely hard?

I am grateful, after reading some of the posts here, that I do not have many sentimental things I am attached to. There is my fathers guitar and my mothers archery license from back in the late 1950s. I have never regretted getting rid of anything.

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Originally Posted by freshstart

this may sound incredibly wasteful but the impact on my life has been enormous. When I divorced, I bought a townhouse. My lawyer said take what I want, he is in no position to complain. But I had this overwhelming desire to walk away from it all and start over. I could not do that right then because of finances and we needed things like beds, but slowly over a decade, I saved cash in an envelope and almost everything got replaced or realized I did not need it. I did not buy expensive things, actually some things I got rid of were nicer than their replacement. I sold some big stuff, donated a ton and by the end of ten years, it felt like my home, totally my home (and the kids').

the only things I kept were an antique watch, the only gift he ever gave me that felt like it had meaning, it worked for like a month, very expensive to repair. DS wants to try to fix it and can't understand why I do not want to let him work on this watch, he goes, "mom, he didn't even buy it. The head of the band held out a handful and told Dad to pick two." so we are down to zero on meaningful gifts, lol. I got a push present for DD, I hate that term. 'Cultured pearls' that he kept stressing were real, with a Macy's sticker on it that said $500, later saw the receipt, $100.They got mixed in with a $20 pair I wore to prom and I cannot tell which is better, lol. I kept the china, which was really casual stuff from England, I always liked it even before I met him, so it stayed. And my wedding rings, I don't think I'd get much if I sold them, I always thought I would give them to DD and she could do what she wanted.

Being able to eventually not have to use our sheets or keep the crappy mattress that he slept on, I cannot explain the feeling. Free, I was free.

Except the wedding dress in the basement and boxes with pictures from when we met til we divorced. I am not dealing with those any time soon, even though that's where the pics of my kids when they were little are. I occasionally dive in for one of those.

Ultralight, I commend you for getting rid of all those pictures, wasn't it extremely hard?

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You did what was best for you! I can understand the need to get rid of some things you all shared. That was an unexpected perk during my divorce and minimizing. It was easier to let go when the stuff we shared was gone, but I did not realize this until I minimized things for other reasons.

Getting rid of the pics was not that hard. I went through them one last time before I tossed them. It was an intense trip down memory lane -- very emotional. Pics from when I was a teen, from my college days, from grad school, etc. Memories as stored in photos can really wear on a person and they don't even know the weight that is on them. But once those photos were gone I felt free. Now, after I rarely keep photos for more than a week or so. I rarely take any photos, except for commerce (like selling on eBay) or when others ask me to take pics of them.

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Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler

Getting rid of the pics was not that hard. I went through them one last time before I tossed them. It was an intense trip down memory lane -- very emotional. Pics from when I was a teen, from my college days, from grad school, etc. Memories as stored in photos can really wear on a person and they don't even know the weight that is on them. But once those photos were gone I felt free. Now, after I rarely keep photos for more than a week or so. I rarely take any photos, except for commerce (like selling on eBay) or when others ask me to take pics of them.

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They do weigh on you, I get that. I totally get getting rid photos taken during a bad time in your life or of an ex. But didn't you worry that you might want to see someday a very old pic of yourself or someone you loved who is gone?

I did keep the wedding album for the kids but it is so deeply packed, I don't think I will ever see it again. IDK why, but I feel like I should keep pics from when we were a happy family for the kids to see. I can't get rid of pics of the kids, that to me makes sense. Then I can't get rid of pics of family because they died or will die and I will have to have those pics. Then high school, college, single life photos, well, I liked those people, still see some of them, so I have to keep them and it's funny to see how you looked, especially the '80s. And since I was seven and got my first one, I have taken copious photos of every single dog I have had. And here I can be reasonable, keep 2 favs of each dog, dump the rest. But I know I won't, I'll keep them all, lol. The smartphone development was good, no one was using cameras anymore, my kids are older so took way fewer pics, and my phone is filled with my kids cuddling my dogs, or just my dogs. Oh, my, I am a photo hoarder! A dog photo hoarder, I think it's not good when you have 10x the number of photos of your dogs than your children!

someday, but so low on my list of things I desire to do, I will haul out the box and purge, give the kids the pics of their dad, throw away a bunch of meaningless ones, and put them in photo boxes, I hate making albums. I have to do the same with iPhoto. But this process feels like it would be awful, I don't want to see some of those pics again, so I may just leave it alone and the kids can take what they want when I'm dead. Plus, I somehow came to be the bearer of the collection of old, old photos from both sides of my family. So I cannot even imagine all those, then all my parents' and all mine. I did make photo books with some of the old old photos and gave them to family members. But it was a huge PITA, figuring out who was who, what events were the most meaningful, etc, scanning them into the computer and then making the books. So it's not so simple as my box, it's all the other peoples' photos, as well. They picked the most wrong person to be the archivist of the family. And yup, that stuff weighs on you, too just because of the huge amount, being the designated "person", etc.

major props that you could do this even though it was so emotional, especially that you looked at them before trashing. I get the urge to just throw it all away before I ever look at each one and make a decision.

I am working to get rid of my 4 drawer file cabinet.

I saved all these things that people say you need to save, but, it makes it difficult to find the few items I actually need. I now have the things I actually need in a small 7 pocket expanding organizer. That's even with having more paperwork than some people. We're regular W2 earners, so no small business paperwork, but I have bankruptcy paperwork and my husbands immigration paperwork in addition to the regular stuff and it all still fits in a 7 pocket organizer. I still have some memento style papers in the mostly empty file cabinet, but, I will sort/discard those soon. I'm working through the "Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up" book, so, get to save memento's for last.. lol

Anyways, not having a giant file cabinet to look through to find things will be a huge life-changer for me. I wish I could have back the hours I've spent looking for stuff in there!

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Originally Posted by freshstart

They do weigh on you, I get that. I totally get getting rid photos taken during a bad time in your life or of an ex. But didn't you worry that you might want to see someday a very old pic of yourself or someone you loved who is gone?

Oh, my, I am a photo hoarder! A dog photo hoarder, I think it's not good when you have 10x the number of photos of your dogs than your children!

major props that you could do this even though it was so emotional, especially that you looked at them before trashing. I get the urge to just throw it all away before I ever look at each one and make a decision.

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Did I worry that I'd lose a loved one and not have a pic of them? Initially, yes I did. This was especially true of my dogs, and in a certain way of my former life partner as well. Here is how I dealt with both concerns:

Why worry about taking, keeping, storing, curating, etc. pics of my dog (and other loved ones, I suppose... haha) when I could be using that time to take Harlan to the park, play fetch with him in the yard, or just hang out with him? I want to be present in the moment when I take Harlan on a walk. I'll remember him after he passes away, and I will know that I was present in the moment -- really there, not fretting over getting a cute pic of him chasing a tennis ball. As for Lilith (the dog I lost in the divorce) I have full faith that my ex will take good care of her. And I have treasured memories of Lil -- like teaching her to leap over park benches (longways!) in a single bound! She was a small dog, about 20lbs. But what a jumper! I'll probably never see Lil again. That is a loss I simply have to accept, no pics of her would change that.

With my ex-wife I felt like holding on to some pics because there were about 6 years (out of the 11 that we were life partners) that were simply amazing! The little trips we took, the big trips we took, the fun parties we went to, the momentous occasions we shared, and so forth. But ultimately, I wanted to free myself of the mire of the the past (there were after all about 3 mediocre years and 2 really bad years of the 11 too). So getting rid of all those pics helped with that.

I think people can dwell in the past, obsess over the future, or be present in the moment. Obviously people oscillate between these in varying degrees. But as I approached middle age I wanted to stack the deck in favor of being present in the moment! Getting rid of all the pics was key to this, for me.

I kept all the photo albums because of my kids. My youngest told me he wants them all if his siblings don't want any. Therefore, I won't get rid of them. I got rid of my xmas tree a year ago but kept all the ornaments because many were from my parents, etc. Well, I just got them all out & if my best friend does not want any when she comes over tonite off to the thrift store they go.

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Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler

I think people can dwell in the past, obsess over the future, or be present in the moment. Obviously people oscillate between these in varying degrees. But as I approached middle age I wanted to stack the deck in favor of being present in the moment! Getting rid of all the pics was key to this, for me.

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I like this. It's overwhelming, right now, I just want to throw them all away and not make any decisions. But I know me, that would kill me so I have to do it one by one, as well.