How to convince my girlfriend she does not need to go on pricey dates?

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Originally Posted by catherine

I think what Alan is saying is that a little compromise is called for. Every relationship has to give and take a little. She goes out on a boat with you, and you treat her to a relatively inexpensive night out. If you want to "change her" out of what she genuinely feels is fun, and I personally don't disagree with her, maybe you need to look for someone that's a closer match for you. In this scenario, your inability to compromise suggests that you value $2400 over her (not the hypothetical scenario you have set up).

Or, ask her to pay for it, in which case she just MAY come to the same conclusion Alan did.

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Okay, I see.

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Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler

Let me use a bit of hyperbole to explain how Alan's assertion that I value money over her does not hold water.

Suppose my gf said: "I want to take a weekend date every weekend to Cancun, Mexico otherwise I am deprived of proper dates."

Would anyone then say: "Well, unless you take her to Cancun every weekend you are telling her you value money more than her."?

Any takers for that rationale now?

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I've already responded at length above. But of course your scenario is quite different. However, I'm assuming that most of us could not afford either the time or the money to meet that request so it would be a case of being unable, not unwilling, to do so. You indicated above that you could manage it financially but that you might have to sacrifice some of the time that you enjoy doing something else. So you get to choose which is more important (i.e, which you value more) to you. In your case maybe you would have understood this better if he had said that you are telling her you enjoy fishing more than time with her. You can have both, but you might have to both compromise. Try to understand her point of view for a change instead of trying to solve this issue by only considering your preferences.

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Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler

Let me use a bit of hyperbole to explain how Alan's assertion that I value money over her does not hold water.

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Dude, you started this thread and titled it: "How to convince my girlfriend she does not need to go on pricey dates?". You not only placed emphasis on price, but you went on to add it all up to an annual dollar figure. You imply that you want to be with her, but you don't want to pay the price, which you've noted as $2400. How should we take that?

After reading the responses here and taking them into consideration, I'll take her on the dates as she desires. That seems like the best option to keep her happy, keep the relationship from falling apart, and to keep her from getting the idea that I would rather have a better funded retirement.

I suppose I started this thread out of frustration resulting from my sticker-shock of date costs.

If I cut about 50% of my fishing out and cut a few other corners here and there I won't notice the money gone from the dates. Seems like a reasonable compromise.

You already resent her. You already assume that she is the one who should change. Go fishing.

I have purposefully left out the major things I have changed/compromised on that I wanted.

I don't think I ever added up the financial cost of any relationship, ever. Probably why I'm not rich. :idea:

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Originally Posted by JaneV2.0

I don't think I ever added up the financial cost of any relationship, ever. Probably why I'm not rich. :idea:

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I hear ya.

You already know how this will end.

Dump her and flee to Bolivia.

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Originally Posted by bae

You already know how this will end.

Dump her and flee to Bolivia.

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Ain't gonna lie, I loled at that!