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Allergies suck, I'm so sorry! But you know, DH and I pretty much gave up dairy and not only did we lose weight but we don't miss it like we thought we would. One of the resources we use on a daily basis for simple, inexpensive substitutes is a book called "How it all Vegan"...tons of great recipes for dairy substitutes as well as just a lot of good recipes that don't call for dairy at all.
Vegan cookbook is a good idea - except boyfriend refuses to give up dairy.... so far if a recipe calls for cheese we make me a separate portion that doesn't have the dairy.
I also tried goat cheese - per the suggestions here - and I didn't have a reaction to it. It looks like I'm only allergic to cow-based dairy. If only goat cheese wasn't so expensive!
Trader Joe's and Costco have better prices for goat cheese. TJ's also has varieties beyond chevre. If you can tolerate sheep's milk, romano cheese is really good on pasta and vegetables in place of parmesan - but always read the label, because domestic cheeses are almost always made with cow's milk even if that type of cheese is traditionally made with goat or sheep milk. Imported feta is usually sheep's milk.
Hmmm....just a thought but have you tried organic dairy? I have a friend who is horribly allergic to conventional chicken because of the hormones in it, but she can eat organic chicken no problem.
There is a great cookbook for meat eaters who are reluctant to give up dairy, called "The Engine 9 Cookbook." It was written by a bunch of burly firemen who gave up dairy. Maybe something to consider just so you guys can share more meals together (I'm married to a carnivore so I know exactly what you're going through).